Cam blabbers on about childhood, snow and Narnia; comm deletion is serious business

[misscam]

I'm sure we can all share the annoyance of communities getting deleted when it was one enjoyed, but I'm not sure asking the members of several other communities to badger the mod to get it back is really the bestest idea. Especially when doing it in more than one place.

I sense that will go nowhere good.

I finally watched Prince Caspain yesterday, after having owned the DVD over a week and never gotten around to seeing it in the cinema. Bit fail-y of me, really, because I really love the Narnia books and enjoyed the first movie.

I read the Narnia books when I was very young. Actually, if I could sum up my childhood in three authors, it would be C.S Lewis, Astrid Lindgren and Roald Dahl. I read lots of other things too, but those are the ones I remember and formed emotional attachment to. Seriously, when Astrid Lindgren died some years back, I cried. She was over 90 and had a good life, but it was like the last bit of my childhood died a bit with her.

I had mostly a very good childhood. I got along with my brother, my parents are and were loving and supportive and the first ten years of my life I lived in Northern Norway, a fairly dramatic and stunning backdrop. When I was ten, we moved down south, but Northern Norway still feels like my birthplace. It has a sense of... Nostalgic innocence, it's hard to explain. That's why my football team is Tromsø, even if I haven't seen in Tromsø since I was ten.

And almost all my memories are in snow. See, winters in Northern Norway last a lot longer. Yes, they certainly occur down south and impressively so for anyone from warmer climates But in the north, winter dominates more, especially because I lived with the sun gone for over two months a year, and with northern lights. My childhood is snow. It's winter. It's short days and northern lights across the sky, going out skiing or sitting inside reading with hot cocoa.

It is of course lost to me now. Yes, I still read, still drink hot cocoa and love the snow, but I am no longer the same, thus neither is how I see the world. If you gave me the option to go back, I'd probably not even do it, because I'm not sure I'd be willing to give up all I've gained just to have innocence back. No, I'm pretty sure I don't want to go back. But I can sometimes miss it, and love the memory of it excatly because I can't go back. I can't spoil it. I have a happy childhood, and given the world, isn't that the most incredible gift?

The Narnia books are a part of that, and they've always evoked something in me. The sense of magic the Pevensies have on enterting the Narnia in winter plays into my own memories of snow and wonder. I also didn't get the religious imagery when I read them as young (yes, yes, I know, it is fairly obvious, but my parents were very careful not to steer me in religion whatsoever and even then let me decide for myself) which might be just as well.

I also remember watching the BBC adaptations of the Narnia books every Christmas while growing up, adding even more sappy childhood memories to the mix.

Interestingly, the character with the most faith in the books, Lucy, was not the one I identified the most with. As the oldest child, I always connected more with Peter and Susan and I tend to blissfully ignore the last book about Narnia. They're all in Narnia together, lalala, I'm not listening to anything else.

Now, the movies... I saw the first Narnia film with my mother and brother, a proper family outing and I liked it enough to buy it on DVD later even if I deeply disturbed myself by feeling vague Peter/Susan vibes. I think I'm too used to seeing fandoms where incest is all the rage. FANDOM YOU MEANIE PERVERTER.

So I watched Prince Caspian in bed and after a few 'hang on, isn't Caspian a tad bit too old there?' I got into it and felt nostalgic and silly and kinda happy, right up until the moment where the movie was over and I felt a bit like reading the Narnia books again and realised I left them in Australia. On purpose.

...

Fuck.

I need to treat my childhood better and buy me some new Narnia books.

Comments

Totally Off Topic

[munchkin62.livejournal.com]

OT but I wanted to say THANK YOU!! for the Christmas card! I received it and it made my day!

Thank you so much!

[starbuck042786.livejournal.com]

I noticed those posts about the deleted comm and felt a little embarrassed for the poster. Why can't she just create a new icon challenge com if she liked it so much.

I liked TLTW&TW a little more than Caspian, but I went out a few days ago about bought it anyway :-)

Being fairly new to your flist I didn't know you lived in Australia. Would you mind supplying a few details? How long were you there? I myself have never lived or even traveled outside the US (not for lack of desire though. One day when I have money I plan an traveling as much as I can) so when people say they have lived elsewhere, I try to be a sponge for information. :-)

[kibebe.livejournal.com]

I can remember that my second grade teacher read the first Narnia book in class and liking it enough to check the rest out at the library. I also remember getting all offended when I was older and realized the whole religious thing and thinking she shouldn't have been allowed to read it in school and of course, I couldn't like books with religious overtones/undertones. Ah, memories of my pretentious youth.


Also thanks for the Christmas card. Yours is the first one I have received this year.

[kerlin.livejournal.com]

Yeah, um, I totally get the Peter/Susan vibes too. I'll save room in the handbasket for you. And let me know if you want fic recs.

The religious imagery never bothered me; C.S. Lewis is a fairly liberal theologian, all things considered, and while I'm more or less agnostic myself, I love studying religion enough that I now work for a church. I've always been puzzled by people for whom the imagery is an automatic turn-off; isn't it just a great story, underneath all that?

[elvenpiratelady.livejournal.com]

I read them all as a kid too, and eventually wrote an essay for school that was 4000 words of 'it's not just Christian symbolism, really'. XD Voyage of the Dawn Treader was my favourite because Eustace was so incredibly snotty and Reepicheep was so awesome. I was so relieved that the Caspian movie did Reepicheep proper justice.

Maybe I'll read the books again during the week up to Christmas.

[phdelicious.livejournal.com]

Two of those "resurrect com X" posts showed up back to back on my F'list. Sigh. I occasionally skim IC type coms for links to good cap archives so there are some that I'd be disappointed if they disappeared entirely, but that was SOOOO the wrong way to go about things.

I too read all the Narnia books as a child and LOVED the BBC miniseries versions. I have some issues with the new ones - Tilda Swinton just does not scare me - but I like them.

[furius.livejournal.com]

I read those books in NZ while attending sporadic church and I *still* didn't get the religious overtones until I was on a trip to Seattle when I was elven years old and bought "Dictionary of Narnia" but by then I was more offended by sexism than by religious imagery..(Actually, I was addled by Greek myths...)

I remember being very enamored of "stepping into the other world" and Caspian. Narnia was the first fantasy I've ever read. It's also the first series of book I remember loving reading in English. I love that they aged him so that I can still be as fond of him as I had been. There's a whole another level of nostalgia there.....

[hellga.livejournal.com]

Growing up in the Soviet Union, I didn't learn that Narnia books had any religious underpinnings to them until I was about 20 or so. :D But even then, I didn't like the last book much. It didn't make a lot of sense, and why destroy a beautiful world anyway?

My favorites were definitely TLTW&TW, Prince Caspian, and the Dawn Threader. Though as I grew older, I think I started to appreciate The Horse and His Boy more.

BTW, thanks for the lovely card! It came on Monday. Do you want to get one?

[adoraheatherly.livejournal.com]

I don't have all that much to add here, but I just wanted to tell you that I really enjoyed reading this post. I'm like that with the essentials from my childhood as well… it's like you can't even describe why they matter so much, it's just the essence of them formed by memory, something so completely personal that encapsulates something far beyond a story, a television show, a geographical location.

It's almost magical… like the entire world as it was during that brief time is contained completely in such simple things later on in life. Simple things, but they mean so much.

… and keep us grounded with a sense of our identity like nothing else will.