In Which Cam Is Urple

[misscam]

For your morning cup of Urple, I give you...

True Love of Tears

Summary: In which everyone has healing sex. Nine/Rose

Rating: Unfit for everyone, really.

And it came to be the day where the Doctor cried his beautiful spheres of Gallifrey eyewater. It was not because his planet had died, thought that was undoubtedly immesaruably woebegone. No, for his greatest fear had come to pass - Rose thought him old. He had heard it with his own too divinely shaped Dumbo ears.

"Hes like, soooooo old, u know," Rose had said to her mother, Jackie the true love hater. The Doctor just knew it was so, for surely what other justification could she have for not wanting Rose to travel with him.

This all baffled the poor Doctor, who deep inside his beating binary vacular system, just wanted to be loved.

And thus he wept, tears trickling down his marble skin like crystal gems, then cruelly shattering against the floor. Like his hearts.

"Doc, u in their?" he heard a voice call, and he tried bravely to wipe away his tears, but Rose was too fast.

"O Doc," she said, and took his head in her exquisite two hands. Two hands for two hearts, he thought, it really was true love. "I only told mumy so she wouldnt suspevt that i luv u & try & tear us apart."

The Doctor felt silly. Why couldn't he have seen this so obvious truth shining from her oval orbs? Now he felt like weeping for being silly.

"I luv u two, rose tylert," he whispered and she kissed away his tears with her ginger mouth and he loved her for that, for lo!, he had always wanted to be ginger.

"Let us romantically join into one being by u sticking ur penis up my vagina," Rose said and he kissed her with the fire of a thousand sounds and didn't even leave one mark of sunburn. He was that good.

And then they made love in a giant bed of red roses and silk that the TARDIS had made (for the TARDIS was very romantic deep down in her time vortex) and he was fantastic in all he did, and so was she, for she was his Goddess of Time and was going to have his time brats to repopulate Gallifrye, for that was true love. And he licked her with his very talented long tongue and when she tasted herself on his tongue, she moaned with pure beautiful lust.

And then he had to weep again, for it really was that beautiful. Sex always brought out his inner crybaby. And they shagged, and he wept, and they shagged and he wept, and the Universe was reborn in this glorious true love and decided it loved the TARDIS and the TARDIS loved it back and everyone lived healingly sexily after.

The end.


Shag It For the Planet

Summary: In which the planet sees the light. hadria/Bush/velocityofsound

Rating: Ew.

And thus it came to pass that velocityofsound and hadria found themselves in the White House, trying to get the president to see the divine purpose of Grissom and Sara getting together on CSI. For surely, this was the purpose of all being.

Unfortunately, the president was more in the mood of ogling their calves.

"I say, that is really some beautifully shaped flesh," said Bush, for he was really a deeply poetic soul.

"I always thought so," hadria remarked, who knew the truth of her out beautify and inner repulsiveness.

Poetically, Bush went on, "But surely there is much beauty within your deep molten core, just waiting to cum."

"When you put it like that..." hadria said, and assuredly, she had been waiting for him to do so. After all, a firm man in the Oval office meant a firm manpole in her Oval office.

velocityofsound nodded sagely, though if a little sadly, knowing she was about to betray the true love of her life. But for Grissom/Sara naughty bunny crime scene indecency and the planet, she would endure this. Still, she wept a little when Bush lovingly thrust his flaming rocket of global defence into her cave of womanhood. hadria just moaned, as the vixen she was, and rode the presidential broomstick all the way to orgasmic magic.

And the Bush did see the light, and invade CBS to toss out all those terrorists of Lady heather/Grissom shipping, and when GSR came to the TV screens at last, there was peace and love and understanding throughout the world. All you need is TV love, after all.

And then hadria shagged a Grissom/Catherine shipper, and velocityofsound shagged The Gritty Love of Her Life, and all were happy in love and light and GSR, until the next week, when the Martian Grissom/Nick slashers invaded the Earth in grusome rage, having had their slashy hopes crushed.

The end.