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Why didn't you include this scene, PJ? Whyyyyy?! My, I really am on a Wenham/Faramir droolage of late. Bad me.
So in between lusting and conversations on evil and this lovely bill suggestion for Virginia, I've been reading this dossier online about Fred Phelps, who some of you may recall from previous entries. (BTW, Mr. Phelps, this icon is all in honour of you.) It's quite interesting, I must say. An Expose on Fred Phelps. After my initial "Grrr!" reaction, the man has started interest me in much the same way neo-Nazis do. I want to understand him. I want to know just when hatred takes over and the *shadow in your mind starts ruling.
* I call the part of my mind that is what you might say is evil the shadow in my mind. You know it. It's the part that might delight in others' misfortuntes, be unpleasant or desire hurt for others. It's greedy and dark and speaks against your conscience. It whispers of hatred and sometimes, people listen.
I sometimes wonder if the not-so-good Mr. Phelps think the shadow in his mind is the voice of God, given the force of his hatred. He's made the God he believe in into him, made God want the same things. This, it occurs to me, have happened quite a few times in the history of this world. Some listen to the whispers of the not-as-good parts of us and think it come from some outer source. Perhaps that gives it a justification so it can be indulged, I don't know. It's food for thought, anyway.
I don't know why evil fascinates me so. Maybe I see it in myself. I know I could do so much that would be evil if I let go and used the shadow in my mind for more than cackling evilly when playing computer games and blowing up little computer people. I could do terrible things. Evil could wear my face. But perhaps if I understand it well enough, it will have no hold over me. Perhaps I can chain it, as Vimes does with his beast in Night Watch (by the ever-wonderful Terry Pratchett). Perhaps we can all learn to chain our worst urges. Not by denying they are there, but seeing them for what they are. Just a shadow, not the substance.
And then I let my little shadow have fun sniggering at badfic while the better me was wondering what to get my father for my upcoming birthday.
To finish on a more cheerful note, a meme I saw at![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
norwegianne's.
Part of being on Livejournal.com is inevitably gaining a number of LJ buddies. Unfortunately, as time wears on, it's easy to forget where all of them came from. Post this in your journal and have your friends respond with how they recall first meeting you.
So in between lusting and conversations on evil and this lovely bill suggestion for Virginia, I've been reading this dossier online about Fred Phelps, who some of you may recall from previous entries. (BTW, Mr. Phelps, this icon is all in honour of you.) It's quite interesting, I must say. An Expose on Fred Phelps. After my initial "Grrr!" reaction, the man has started interest me in much the same way neo-Nazis do. I want to understand him. I want to know just when hatred takes over and the *shadow in your mind starts ruling.
* I call the part of my mind that is what you might say is evil the shadow in my mind. You know it. It's the part that might delight in others' misfortuntes, be unpleasant or desire hurt for others. It's greedy and dark and speaks against your conscience. It whispers of hatred and sometimes, people listen.
I sometimes wonder if the not-so-good Mr. Phelps think the shadow in his mind is the voice of God, given the force of his hatred. He's made the God he believe in into him, made God want the same things. This, it occurs to me, have happened quite a few times in the history of this world. Some listen to the whispers of the not-as-good parts of us and think it come from some outer source. Perhaps that gives it a justification so it can be indulged, I don't know. It's food for thought, anyway.
I don't know why evil fascinates me so. Maybe I see it in myself. I know I could do so much that would be evil if I let go and used the shadow in my mind for more than cackling evilly when playing computer games and blowing up little computer people. I could do terrible things. Evil could wear my face. But perhaps if I understand it well enough, it will have no hold over me. Perhaps I can chain it, as Vimes does with his beast in Night Watch (by the ever-wonderful Terry Pratchett). Perhaps we can all learn to chain our worst urges. Not by denying they are there, but seeing them for what they are. Just a shadow, not the substance.
And then I let my little shadow have fun sniggering at badfic while the better me was wondering what to get my father for my upcoming birthday.
To finish on a more cheerful note, a meme I saw at
norwegianne's.Part of being on Livejournal.com is inevitably gaining a number of LJ buddies. Unfortunately, as time wears on, it's easy to forget where all of them came from. Post this in your journal and have your friends respond with how they recall first meeting you.
