The fail of an alleged pedophile's lawyer w/other notes of wank, batshittery and WoW

[misscam]

In today's 'my stupid let me show you it':
So this weekend infamous 'Pocket Man' gets arrested in Norway. As you can see, that's the kind of guy you'd want to get caught, given he's been at it for decades. Guy gets a defence lawyer, as one does, and how does Staff the lawyer choose to defend his client? By pissing off Norway. "This is about fiddling with boys and sexual relations with boys that are too young, but it's not all that serious," Staff claimed. He added that "these boys wouldn't be hurt by it, in my opinion... " if the police hadn't turned it into such a huge case. He then went on to refer to it as 'peanuts'.

... Yeah. Refer to six-year-olds being forced to give a oral sex to a middle-aged man as 'peanuts'. There's a brilliant defence strategy, making the man even more loathed by association and getting yourself jeered, insulted and obscene-gestured by all the inmates at the jail your client's in. You know you've made fail when also murderers, frauds and robbers are calling you an asshat, quite frankly.

Staff also went on to claim 'pedophile' was an incorrect word to use, as pedophiles apparently only go after babies. ...!

On a scale from one to ten, how would you rate this fail?

In other notes:
- David Tennant has a stalker who apparently writes sci-fi versions of Shakespeare plays. She insists that both the Doctor and Hamlet are aliens in a hostile universe, who are terrified of being alone. But she will save him by being his Rose or Ophelia. ... Please be taking your stalkering batshit off my ship, yeah?
- Why is DW fandom so quiet? Is it the wanking-behind-flock that's taking all the energy? Perhaps one shouldn't begrudge the quiet, but it always makes me feel like something bad is being built up to.
- T&C is having unusual first line in reunion fic challenge, which I'm hoping will get some fun and variety.
- Ikea is evil. I've spent the weekend putting together furniture from them and ARGH. Weird parts of my body hurt, but I do have a nice new closet and computer desk.
- Gonna write pinch hit for thing I didn't even sign up for, really. Named it "Five Times Jackie Tyler Probably Hated the Doctor, and One Time She Definitely Didn't" for now. Must put other fics aside. Sorry :(
- When Internet communities dogpile. Over scrap-booking.
- And you're posting this to fanficrants why exactly?
- lotus79 got me a sweatshirt with "+ 20 frost resistance" (WoW reference) as a gift. Norwegian customs? Sucks ice and demands I pay tax on it, which amounts to like half the price of the gift. Smashing, state of Norway.
- This wank might only be funny if you actually play WoW, but man, I laughed.
- In other WoW news, Leo the-totally-not-blind-when-he-can-whirlwind-like-that died like a dead thing yesterday. MUHAHAHAHA.

What's up with you, shiny people?

Comments

[mad-troll.livejournal.com]

On a scale from one to ten, how would you rate this fail?

Oh, no. No, no, you got it wrong.
You cannot hold him to human standards:he -Staff- is really an it, one of the last members of an alien race that the Daleks were to squicked out by to EXTERMINATE.
I wholeheatedly suggest vivisection in order to prove my thesis.

[gehayi.livejournal.com]

On a scale of one to ten, ten being the worst?

Googolplex. Eleven is in no way high enough.

I like mad_troll's idea about what Staff is. I'll buy that.

[silvery-lass.livejournal.com]

What planet is the lawyer from and can we, please, blow it up?

I guess he is just trying to do his job but that really is no excuse for being a total dickhead.

[mad-troll.livejournal.com]

What planet is the lawyer from and can we, please, blow it up?

Maybe they already did that. On their own. Judging from Staff's behavior...
Maybe he it just needs a dessert spoon, an anatomical table and a bit of time in the closet.

[evilstorm.livejournal.com]

HAHAHAHAHA what is it with people and calling things peanuts? There was an embezzlement case over here where someone called $600k peanuts, too. You can imagine how well that went down with the working-class folk.

(Yes, in context it is peanuts, but that's not exactly what you want to be saying.)

And omg most epic raid ever. Wow.

[razzlecupcake.livejournal.com]

Rating? That's turned up to eleven.

[razzlecupcake.livejournal.com]

Hah. That's what I get for not checking the comments. Lol.

[phdelicious.livejournal.com]

I have to say the best thing about the FanFicRants post is def. the tags. :D

On a WoW side-note, I know nothing about this first hand but according to my friend's blog the Chinese government used a WoW map in a news item describing issues in the Middle East.

[norwegianne.livejournal.com]

* When I put together things from Ikea, I usually end up with carpal tunnel syndrome. Fun, innit?

* Staff has been made of fail for so long, that it has ceased to be amusing. Hasn't he reached a retirement age by now?

* And yes on the Norwegian customs. Of course, the Danish customs are nearly as wanky, but it helps with Denmark being part of EU and thus having a larger area where things can be sent without having to go through customs.

Shiny… how about exam?

[everysecondtues.livejournal.com]

Oh, fail. I'm glad they caught him.

[siraj.livejournal.com]

*attempts to rate pedo-fail* *fail metre breaks* ... Damn, that's some serious amounts of fail, right there.

Also, I want a sweatshirt like that, only reading '+20 intelligence, -25 tolerance for stupid'

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

On a scale from one to ten, how would you rate this fail?

I'm agreeing with the googolplex answer and the alien theory.

Ikea is evil. I've spent the weekend putting together furniture from them and ARGH. Weird parts of my body hurt, but I do have a nice new closet and computer desk.

Ikea is all shiny and pretty in the Limbo of the Store and then when you try to put it together you end up twisting in all new ways. Almost all my bedroom furniture is Ikea. That was fun to put together over a week.

[--kali--.livejournal.com]

My scale doesn't go high enough to rate that fail. Bloody hell.

[falena]

*avoids carefully all links that could ruin her own terribly good mood*

What's up with you, shiny people?

Nothing much but I'm really happy. Yay!
*hopes own happiness will rub off people to compensate for the massive fail*

[rivrea.livejournal.com]

On a scale from one to ten, how would you rate this fail?

In the immortal words of Cordelia Chase: There is not enough YUCK! for this in the world. I just fail at coming up with any other reaction. I mean this guy has obviously got a right to a lawyer, and said lawyer has got the obligation to defend their client, but -- but -- but...

What's up with you, shiny people?

Have apparently become v. srs grown-up person and went to the theatre to watch some Arthur Miller instead of explosions at the cinema. Huh.

[amichandrn.livejournal.com]

On a scale from one to ten, how would you rate this fail?

Congratulations. That is an infinite pile of fail. He fails at life.

[karma-kalisutah.livejournal.com]

She insists that both the Doctor and Hamlet are aliens in a hostile universe, who are terrified of being alone. But she will save him by being his Rose or Ophelia.

Oh for the love of sweet Tinkerbell Jesus. I think you'd have to read Hamlet with your eyes closed to interpret the Hamlet/Ophelia dynamic like that. Hamlet's anchor to the world is Horatio, his friend – and in the end, he isn't enough.

Is it bad that I now want to see SciFi!Shakespeare done by someone who really, really understands Shakespeare?

[wendymr.livejournal.com]

Gonna write pinch hit for thing I didn't even sign up for, really. Named it "Five Times Jackie Tyler Probably Hated the Doctor, and One Time She Definitely Didn't" for now.

Oh, wonderful! *loves Jackie*

[kittycatness.livejournal.com]

The rating is "there is not a number high enough to express the epic amount of massive fail".

The crazy Tennant stalker really must be going away. I mean, honestly. I can understand adoring him (we all know he's gorgeous) but stalking really is one of those habits that is unacceptable.


Me?
I'm living on a tropical island that people here make out to be much larger than it actually is (four-hundred square kilometres) and much less-hot than it actually is (it gets above thirty every.day).
But other than that, it's nice.


How is Cam doing (other than dealing with wank)?


♥

[piaffe.livejournal.com]

*adds another to the list of 'What Not To Do When One Enters The Most Noble *snerk* Practice Of Law'*
I'm liking mad_troll's answer here. I mean, the fellow's a defence lawyer, he's not exactly going to stand up in front of a judge and say: "My client is absolutely guilty, no case to answer" or whatever. But, er, that's a pretty stupid answer. And the literal meaning of pedophile...ergh. *facepalm*