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HELLO EUROPE.
Yes.
It's time. Eurosong, people! EUROSONG.
Bring your snark, comments, opinions and all things Eurosong in comments. I will be updating this with opinions on entries and voting as we go.
You can watch it live here.
Sadly, the semis were the death of such gold as Malta's horror vodka show and Ireland's puppet Turkey, but fear not!, we still have plenty to snark at.
The Norwegian commentators are fucking annoying, I have to say. Please to be taking it less seriously and scream less too, kthxbai.
And we're opening with the Serbian winner from last year. Eh. And of course, people taking clothes off. Standard Eurosong faire. I do kinda like the stage, though.
Matching host outfits. Hah. And kissing.
1. Romania. Hey, she changed her dress from the semi! That's like cheating. Song's kinda meh, even if they change language through. Inoffensive, but dull.
2. UK. They haven't been through semi. OMG, camp. So camp and the dancing and what he's wearing and OMG the camp.
3. Albania. Girl, what are you wearing and why does it look like a cape? And ugh, not liking this.
4. Germany. Also not gone through semi. Oh my. It's like Spice Girls on a hangover. Bad singing, bad clothes, horrid hair! Nil point candidate!
5. Armenia. She's tiiiiiny. Very Eurosong - pop with ethnic flavour.
6. Bosnia-Herzegovina. Ah, the bizarro! entry. Without live chicken, sadly. Gotta love an entry that makes you wonder what really was in your drink.
7. Israel. Hello, pretty guy. I'd tap those guys, but not the song.
8. Finland. Turn down your volume. Lordi did this better.
9. Croatia. The street preformers. I want to like this because the band sounds reallt nice, but I just can't. Gah.
10. Poland. NO NO NO. Baaaaad. She's not even Polish, she's American!
11. Iceland. So Eurosong, this one. Total forgettable pop that gets stuck in your head just to be annoying.
12. Turkey is so not Turkey this year. It's weird. And Spock!
13. Portugal and dramatic ballad. Stands out a bit from the rest.
14. Latvia. PIRATES. Bwhahaha. This entry had unexpected!pirate boobie mishap at a rehershal. Think that would help its winning chances?
15. Sweden. OUR MORTAL ENEMY. Ukraine does this one better.
16. Denmark. I kinda like this one. Don't hate me. Light and easy, pretty guy. BEAT SWEDEN.
17. Georgia. Bland song with peace message. Zzz.
18. Ukraine. The sexier version of Sweden.
19. France. In English. So wrong!
20. Azerbaijan. Very Opera-ic in more than one way.
21. Greece. Who'll get twlve pointss from Cyprus. And I hate. Trying to be cutesy and only making me queasy.
22. SPAIN. No comment whatsoever, bwhahaha.
23. Serbia. Hmm, no. Zzzz.
24. Russia. Trying too hard to be a boyband on your own, babe. With an ice skater on stage. Olympic gold winning ice skater. Okay!
25. Norway. Er. Don't hate us?
Er, basketball dude on stage? Oooohkay.
Voting!
WTF BULGARIA. HOW DID YOU GIVE GERMANY 12 POINTS WHAT WHAT. Aaaand Russia's won it. It was the ice skater, I'm telling you. Norway's 5th. Shared last spot for Germany, Poland and the UK. Tsk. Most importantly, we kick Swedish ass! Hahahaha!
Yes.
It's time. Eurosong, people! EUROSONG.
Bring your snark, comments, opinions and all things Eurosong in comments. I will be updating this with opinions on entries and voting as we go.
You can watch it live here.
Sadly, the semis were the death of such gold as Malta's horror vodka show and Ireland's puppet Turkey, but fear not!, we still have plenty to snark at.
The Norwegian commentators are fucking annoying, I have to say. Please to be taking it less seriously and scream less too, kthxbai.
And we're opening with the Serbian winner from last year. Eh. And of course, people taking clothes off. Standard Eurosong faire. I do kinda like the stage, though.
Matching host outfits. Hah. And kissing.
1. Romania. Hey, she changed her dress from the semi! That's like cheating. Song's kinda meh, even if they change language through. Inoffensive, but dull.
2. UK. They haven't been through semi. OMG, camp. So camp and the dancing and what he's wearing and OMG the camp.
3. Albania. Girl, what are you wearing and why does it look like a cape? And ugh, not liking this.
4. Germany. Also not gone through semi. Oh my. It's like Spice Girls on a hangover. Bad singing, bad clothes, horrid hair! Nil point candidate!
5. Armenia. She's tiiiiiny. Very Eurosong - pop with ethnic flavour.
6. Bosnia-Herzegovina. Ah, the bizarro! entry. Without live chicken, sadly. Gotta love an entry that makes you wonder what really was in your drink.
7. Israel. Hello, pretty guy. I'd tap those guys, but not the song.
8. Finland. Turn down your volume. Lordi did this better.
9. Croatia. The street preformers. I want to like this because the band sounds reallt nice, but I just can't. Gah.
10. Poland. NO NO NO. Baaaaad. She's not even Polish, she's American!
11. Iceland. So Eurosong, this one. Total forgettable pop that gets stuck in your head just to be annoying.
12. Turkey is so not Turkey this year. It's weird. And Spock!
13. Portugal and dramatic ballad. Stands out a bit from the rest.
14. Latvia. PIRATES. Bwhahaha. This entry had unexpected!pirate boobie mishap at a rehershal. Think that would help its winning chances?
15. Sweden. OUR MORTAL ENEMY. Ukraine does this one better.
16. Denmark. I kinda like this one. Don't hate me. Light and easy, pretty guy. BEAT SWEDEN.
17. Georgia. Bland song with peace message. Zzz.
18. Ukraine. The sexier version of Sweden.
19. France. In English. So wrong!
20. Azerbaijan. Very Opera-ic in more than one way.
21. Greece. Who'll get twlve pointss from Cyprus. And I hate. Trying to be cutesy and only making me queasy.
22. SPAIN. No comment whatsoever, bwhahaha.
23. Serbia. Hmm, no. Zzzz.
24. Russia. Trying too hard to be a boyband on your own, babe. With an ice skater on stage. Olympic gold winning ice skater. Okay!
25. Norway. Er. Don't hate us?
Er, basketball dude on stage? Oooohkay.
Voting!
WTF BULGARIA. HOW DID YOU GIVE GERMANY 12 POINTS WHAT WHAT. Aaaand Russia's won it. It was the ice skater, I'm telling you. Norway's 5th. Shared last spot for Germany, Poland and the UK. Tsk. Most importantly, we kick Swedish ass! Hahahaha!