Wherein Cam Blames Something in the Water

[misscam]

Amazing Hobble shots - That's where stars are born. Sometimes, I'm reminded how much beauty there is the world. In a sunrise, in rain on trees, in the butterfly that just fluttered in my window. Life is beauty and sometimes I like to just... Be, you know? Walk under the Norwegian sky and be alive, nothing more and nothing less.

I always feel a bit like this at springtime. Must be the light after the winter or something. And maybe I'm just shallow, enjoying all this beauty. I like beautiful men, I like beautiful words, I like beautiful cats, I like beautiful icons. (Like this one, with a story title of mine even. I secretly covet more of those. I'm shallow and have delusions of ego, heh.)

Meanwhile, a thirteen year old girl denied abortion in Florida has sparked quite the debate. I guess it's not surprising this happens in Florida, but man, there has been a lot of controversial cases out of Florida of late. Is there something in the water there or something? And if there is, what can we do to get it out?

Norway cancels debt to Vietnam. Not that it was that much, but still a nice gesture.

Some CSI authors got annoyed at ff.net's recent rule announcement and wrote This Is Not a Songfic. I was amused. Granted, it'll probably be yanked, but... Hee. I'll take anything that isn't CSI badfic these days. There's so much badfic in the CSI category on ff.net I weep. Which reminds me of a meme I think I saw at velocityofsound.

I will write a badfic drabble. Pick either the CSI, LotR or Harry Potter fandom. Give me a character or a pairing, and an object or a piece of dialogue to include as well. (Or a genre, if you're so inclined.)

I thought I'd add to the badfic load. Clearly, there's something in the water here too.

And I just had a decidedly odd IM convo with someone who claimed to be from GAFF and wanted to know if it was okay to post RPF there. *blinks* Why am I being asked, anyway? I'm not a GAFF celebrity and certainly not The Site Guru. Ah well. I guess I got eeeny-meeny'ed.

ETA: Seriously, there ain't enough WTF in the world. And then some

Comments

[kunenk.livejournal.com]

*stares* ...BWEH?

Hedwig. And an umbrella. An umbrella with a Flat Cat design.

We could try boiling it. If that doesn't work, we could always try praying to one of the many deities associated with water.

[b2wm.livejournal.com]

Peter/Anyone, based on this pic.

On the Stitch fruitcake, I have to agree with Wankismyfandom:
"The hell with just Baby Jesus, the whole divine nursery is crying."

I believe that would earn Whuthefuckerin fifty house points, were this in the Potter fandom. Thank gods I have yet to encounter a Potterverse Suethor that bad. Crazed LotR Suethors, yes, but I take pride in my Potter badfic n00b-ness.

[starra-cat.livejournal.com]

NASA and Pretty Pictures
Just go here for more pretty pictures. It is where I got my background for my LJ.

I love This is Not a Songfic! I will be saving this! Wahoo!

[anansay.livejournal.com]

You know, they can either allow that child/person to have a medical abortion, or she just might get one of those 'hanger-job' types and risk and future babies, or even her life. One way of another, abortions happen. They've been happening for eons and they'll continue to happen as silent--and sometimes deadly--fight for women's right to choose what happens to their own bodies, and their life.
Fuck 'em, those stupid bastards who think they can rule over another. It isn't their right. Whether it was rape or consensual, it doesn't matter.

(this is a rant because I'm too angry to form logical and intelligent remarks right now.)

[perhatikan.livejournal.com]

Something about Greg and his microscope.

I hope bottled mineral water is safe, or tea for that matter.
Bah, there's too much WTF in the world. And it seems to be multiplying.

[andy-longwood.livejournal.com]

What. The hell.

They think she's too immature to make the decision to have an abortion, yet they expect her to have a child? An act which calls for more maturity than any other? WTF, yo. My state is messed up.

They've passed an amendment that makes it illegal for a minor to get an abortion in Florida without parental consent. I fought it, of course, but when you live in the heart of Conservative Republican Southern Baptism, there's only so much you can do.

Another interesting tidbit about just how screwed up the Florida government is: In defense of the law we have here that says gay people can't adopt, the governer, Jeb Bush, stated that children in our childcare system are already traumatized enough by it that we shouldn't put them into a home situation where they would be traumatized more by the family situation.

Which made me say "So, you toss them right back into this traumatizing childcare system rather than place them in a house where they're in danger of seeing two men kiss?"

And he was right about the childcare system being traumatizing, anyway. Two of my best friends were under the care of the state for years a few years back, and Mom nearly became a foster parent just so that she could get them out of it.

*goes off to beat head against wall*

[velocityofsound.livejournal.com]

I can't believe someone else is doing the badfic meme! Oh my God, that just made my week. Mwa ha ha ha ha. And now with your friendslist it will probably end up in anime fandoms. Which amuses me to no end.

I would love a badfic with wildly OC Brass, Grissom, and Doc Robbins. And a rumcake. The temptation to ask for Wonder Vagina was great, but I don't think we should subject any more people to that. ;)

(Rage over the 13 year old girl. Blinding rage over the entire situation.)

[starra-cat.livejournal.com]

Florida is more Catholic, I think. Apparently Jeb Bush is a "practicing Catholic." (No comment.) But Florida has a border with Georgia, so I think we would be in the general area of "Conservative Republican Southern Baptism" Land.

[starra-cat.livejournal.com]

I will write a badfic drabble. Pick either the CSI, LotR or Harry Potter fandom. Give me a character or a pairing, and an object or a piece of dialogue to include as well. (Or a genre, if you're so inclined.

I was rereading your post and I realized this was here. Fun!

LotR, Galadriel and Celeborn, and a gargoyle.

This should be interesting.

[chem-nerd.livejournal.com]

Hmm...I'm trying to scare away the CSI plotbunnies of DOOM just long enough to get through the term...can I have a nonsmut CSI/LotR crossover, dealer's choice?

[avendya.livejournal.com]

NASA pictures! *squees* It's terrible that Hubble's coming down sometime soon.

How about a Hermione/Draco badfic? It's not too hard to make that a WTF pairing :)

A Bad Ron-Bashing Fic

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Harry and Herm were kisssing in a tree when Hedwig flew by with an umbrella hanging from her head.

"Oh noes. Ron has turned into an umbrella again," Herm said sadly.

"Flat Cat this time," Harry muttered. Ron was frequently jealous of Harry and Herm's true and pure love and liked to use hedwig to spy. But since Hedwig was an animagus Sirius returned to life, this often went badly and Ron got turned into lots of things. He never understood why, since he was stupid.

"Waht shall we do this time?" asked Harry. Herm smiled and kissed him on the nose.

"We could try boiling it. If that doesn't work, we could always try praying to one of the many deities associated with water. I want him to get wet."

"He already is a wet fish," said Harry, who had always hated Ron, since Ron was just a leech of Harry's fame and Draco was the true friend.

The pair laughed as Hedwig flew on, the umbrella seething.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Before I can write that - who is who in that picture?

[misscam.livejournal.com]

One day, as Galadriel had her five hundredth grandchild of specialness, Celeborn got bored and decided to take a walk through Lothlorien.

As he walked, his perfect pools of blue shed a perfect single tears. Celeborn was unhappy. All Galadriel wanted him for was to donate his lifegiving sperm and have more children. Celeborn wanted someone to understand him for him, to listen to his singing and sleep under trees. But ever since a little elfling, Celeborn had been told he was meant to marry Galadriel and he hadn't wanted to disappoint his parents.

In the forest, he came upon a gargoyle and he leaned against it.

"Woe is me," said Celeborn saidly, "for I am unhappy. I dare not speak the name of my true love, whose dark hair has enspelled me."

"Dare you not?" said the gargoyle and Celeborn gasped delicately.

"I dare! Elrond!"

Fo 'lo, the gargoyle was truly Elrond in disguise and the pair run away to have hot hot sex the rest of their lives and leave the icky female.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Yeah. It should always and ever be a choice. Because while some might believe life starts at conception, others don't. Why should those who don't have to bow to those who think it does? There is freedom of belief, after all.

A Lovepotion Gone Astray

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Greg looked into his microscope once more and sniggered.

"I hope bottled mineral water is safe, or tea for that matter," he said conversionally to the young, nubile brunette next to him.

"It's not funny!" Sara snapped at him.

"Losing your lovepotion is funny," Greg insisted. "How can you forget what you put it in?"

"I was ogling Ecklie's ass."

"That is firm and fine," Greg admitted. "No, it's not in this cola."

"Dammit!" Sara hissed. "I better get in touch with Harry at Hogwarts, he'll tell me how to find it."

Greg watched her leave, then sneakily pulled up the coffee pot. Oh yes. It was going to be a great lunch break.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

How the heck would they be "traumatized more by the family situation"? Two males or females kissing is traumatizing now?

My, think of all the trauma I have suffered over the years seeing males kiss each other on the street! And seeing one of my classmates kiss another girl on the cover of a magazine! EEK! I'm traumatized to death!

*smacks Shrub the Other* Git.

[andy-longwood.livejournal.com]

Well, everyone knows gays are icky and gross and maladjusted and utterly incapable of raising children.

/sarcasm

Not WonderVagina, but WonderBaby

[misscam.livejournal.com]

"I like this song by Avril," Brass said and turned the volume up, as Grissom and Al danced slowly together.

"I prefer Britney," Robbins replied. "How about you, Gil my love?"

The entomogilist giggled. "You know I like Pink. She sung for us that night we made love in the morgue."

Brass smiled. They always invited him to watch, something he found very endearing. He hoped they would make him Godfather soon.

As the three were lost in the power of love, Catherine walked by and halted as she took in the scene and a horrible thought struck her.

"How much rum was in that rumcake?" she wondered aloud. Ah well. There was probably not enough to hurt Gil's widdle baby, due any day now.

She hoped to be Godmother.

The Manhole of Love

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Legolas was riding through Mirkwood on his princely duties when he noticed a fair blonde sitting confused by a tree, her exquisit face turned to the sky.

"May I help you, fair maiden? I am Legolas Greenleaf, Prince of Mirkwood, Archer Extraordinaire."

The blonde looked confused up at him. "I'm Catherine. I... I fell from the sky."

"It musteth be the Valar dropping you into my life," said Legolas, for he was already struck by love.

"No, it was an open manhole," Catherine replied, still staring up.

"The manhole of destiny," proclaimed Legolas and swept her up on his horse to take her home to his father and declare his desire to marry this fairest of all fair creatures.

Sadly for Legolas, a dark man swept the fair maiden away the night before the wedding, leaving Legolas brokenhearted. Until he met another fair blond and Greg and Legolas lived happily ever after.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

"i hate harri!" said hermoine one day. "Harrys meana nd evil and voldemorts twin."

"I no, i no," said draco who knew. "I told every1 but no1 listens."

I listen." said heroine and listened.

The blonde boy loocked at her loveingly and brused her hari fro her face. "i luv you herm."

"I luv you drac."

aNd Harry was killed by Ron, who was herm and draco's child from the past and voldemort turned to good now that harry wasn't mindcontrolling him anymro.

teh end

Re: Not WonderVagina, but WonderBaby

[velocityofsound.livejournal.com]

He's pregnant. He's preganant?! Ah ha ha ha ha! You have just elevated badfic to a new and glorious plateau.

I knew there was a reason for all those frumpy coats he wears.

[avendya.livejournal.com]

You're a very... skilled... badfic author.

It's great!

Re: Not WonderVagina, but WonderBaby

[misscam.livejournal.com]

:P:P

Speaking of WonderVagina - http://www.godawful.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=14983

Bwhahaha.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Ah yes. I forgot to turn my logic off.

Re: The Manhole of Love

[chem-nerd.livejournal.com]

Plotbunnies are gone. Thanks.

Re: Not WonderVagina, but WonderBaby

[velocityofsound.livejournal.com]

How you managed to get through all of that, I will never, never know.

35 orgasms in one week? That's not a sex addiction, that's the death penalty. At least he used lube, right? Can you even imagine?

Okay, pretend I didn't ask that.

That's a great GAFF post. Brava! Also funny, scrolling down the forum and there is a thread that says "Spock sucks his own cock!" or something. HEEEEEEE. Now that sounds like a fic. Or a brain-bleaching, table for one.

Re: Not WonderVagina, but WonderBaby

[misscam.livejournal.com]

It wouldn't be GAFF unless brain bleach was on special ;)

Me thinks Grissom alone managed to drive the price on lube up, because damn... And if he went to brothels that much, wouldn't the police eventually find out? There goes that career.

And believe me, after classic horrors like My Inner Life and Celebrian, getting through that fic was nothing.

Re: The Manhole of Love

[misscam.livejournal.com]

I aim to serve.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Read enough badfic and the skill rubs off ;)

[starra-cat.livejournal.com]

That is so funny! It made my day.

Did I mention you rock?

[peace-weasel.livejournal.com]

Hmm...could I please have a Ginny/Harry fic after Hogwarts with a cursed kooshball? That one about the 13 year old made me MAD! How could they do that? Both Shrubs make me ANGRY!