Camilla, Not Your Everyday Witch (Apparantly)

[misscam]

How come when you're bored, no one is online, and when you have something to do, there's a hailstorm of IMs? Also, I appear to be getting more known in the CSI fandom, judging by how many now IM me and don't even know what OFUM is. That does remind me - I've had a few people friend me, so why not take the opportunity to say hello?

Think I shall take mum along and see Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy again. She wants to see it and I want to ogle Arthur some more. Mmm, British...

In the news:
No monkey business at number ten
Annan cautiously welcomes Bolton
Michael Jackson album does poorly in the US
Hiroshima survivors keep memories alive
Man gets forklifted while on portable toilet
Majority of Norwegians want limits on constitutional freedom of extremist groups

Meme, nicked from norwegianne
1. Use fanfiction.net's Search Story By Summary and look up your name in either Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings.
2. If there are any Mary Sues that share your name, pick the worst-sounding one and post the summary.


Camilla Bellocchio, not your everyday witch. nay. She has secrets, dark secrets. She also has the undying trust of theboywholived. JK Rowling’s & my characters with an Ella Enchanted twist of fate. post HBP, new prophecy, & Fairy halfbreeds included. R&R.
(http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2498121/1/)

Comments

[cactus-wren.livejournal.com]

Well, my name isn't in the summary, but I found one anyhow.

Boromir's niece
What happens when a 15 yr. old girl, who (literally) fancies the pants off Legolas, joins the fellowship? Please note that flames will be mocked by myself AND my reviewers. Don't believe me? See for yourself.*~FINISHED!~*


Her name is Michelle, which is almost the same as mine (Michele).

Here's the first couple of paragraphs from the first chapter (entitled 'Meet Michelle, teenager from hell' - how appropriate):

~ Boromir’s chamber ~

“Please Uncle Boromir! I’ll be real good, honest I will. I won’t moan and I can cook.” Michelle pretended to pout and did puppy dog eyes at her uncle. She desperately wanted go with them on the quest to destroy the ring.

“Michelle, you can’t, it’s too dangerous. You have no way of protecting yourself.”

“Ha, that’s what you think. Arwen has taught me how use a sword, and I’m getting real good. Plus the fact that I’m a 15 year old girl. I could speak for Gondor. If anybody captured me, I could talk them to death and then escape. But not that you’d let me get captured or anything, though is it Uncle Boromir?.” Boromir couldn’t help but laugh at his niece’s persistence, and it was true, she did have the ‘gift of the gab’.


I really don't want or need to read any more than that.
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Aw crap. I went ahead and looked at a little more before I posted this, and here's an even stupider bit:

“You cannot take a hairdryer. There won’t be any sockets, and anyway, there won’t be time for hairdryers and whatever else.” Boromir was getting annoyed with Michelle and all that she wanted to bring. Shampoo, conditioner, make-up, moisturiser and much more.

“But it won’t fit into my pack. Please Uncle Boromir.”

“No way Michelle, I have my dignity you know! What if Aragorn found it?”

“Please? It’s battery powered.”

*diez and iz ded*

[crystalshard.livejournal.com]

Interesting meme. I looked up my name . . . and was horrified.

[velocityofsound.livejournal.com]

Wow, way too many people say "Review, Kay?" in their summaries.

This is my first fanfic on fanfiction. Tell me what you think, Kay

Who, me?

Kay ppl... This is where I'm gonna put all my short and stupid random fics! YAY!!! None of the chapters have anything to do with eachother, their all just Random stupid things. Kay, so R&R Plz!!!

Ummm... no thanks.

I'm not an LoTR or HP girl, so I did a general search, and found a Star Trek: Voyager Mary Sue with this except...

In engineering, Gill turned to Kay. "We did it," the temporary chief grinned.

"We most certainly did," agreed Kay, closing up the tricorder, on which they had the whole of the interaction in the turbolift recorded, thanks to the bugs that they had installed there earlier.

Okay, Gill is apparently a girl, but still that's pretty funny.

WAIT! I found an HP fic! Fires of the Sun: Kay Weasley (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2417407/1/)

She had golden locks that held every color, but still managed to portray that beautiful golden hue that drew everyone to her like a magnet. Her icy blue eyes were calm, and her skin was pale, but smooth and creamy. The girl was tall and had a commanding air about her, as if to say, you will do as I bid.

She was beautiful and I hated her.

My Mary Sue is AWESOME!

Also, this burns...

the world of lord of the rings is turned upside down when........... the raiders win a superbowl? huh. ohhhh kay then
In the LoTR story, lord of the rings wow Gasp (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1557057/1/)

I get in on with Legolas here (http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1958636/1/) too. I need to stop, I'm only half way through my name search. Best meme ever.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Well, I'm sure the hairdryer will be greatly entertaining for the Orcs who captured her (as she fell over from the weight of the battery-filled backpack).

*shakes head* 57 chapters?! Ow. Ow.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Welcome to the club. It hurts.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

I hate you. You have such a common name. Hardly anyone uses mine.

Then again, perhaps I am the blessed one.

lord of the rings wow Gasp - truly, there are no words. Where's my bazooka?

Apparently, I'm a whirlwind

[http://users.livejournal.com/_tallian_/]

Now I want to nick this meme. Very entertaining.

"Well, it's Harry's seventh year, and Voldemort is nefariously plotting to kill him once again! But that's not what this story's about. It's about Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, Severus Snape, and the whirlwind called Aimee Season that changes their lives!"
(story here)

I think I'll post the LotR bit (If I find one) in my own journal, with the meme.

[starra-cat.livejournal.com]

Apparently I'm a Mary Sue. Sooooo, not funny. Partially because there are a million Mary Sues in summaries.

[nirix5.livejournal.com]

Camilla Bellocchio, not your everyday witch. nay. She has secrets, dark secrets. She also has the undying trust of theboywholived. JK Rowling’s & my characters with an Ella Enchanted twist of fate. post HBP, new prophecy, & Fairy halfbreeds included. R&R.

Ouch. That hurts by brain.

Mine:

Harry in his for the shocker of his life. Hephzibah(Heather) is his long lost twin. Who knew he had one, his partents are still alive. Draco has taken a liking to her. Shes not interested, she likes someone else

This hurts my brain too- but only for the fact that someone could get the nickname "Heather" out of "Hephzibah". *twitches*

[velocityofsound.livejournal.com]

Well, that's because I didn't search Kamalina :)

I thought you'd appreciate that one. hee

[binx-349.livejournal.com]

An Elf falls into our world and meets Emma, a completely normal ninth grader.Let's just say that these two's heads are gonna have a hard time keeping up with their hearts. R&R!Dedicated to Emma, a cool Brit!
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2088582/1/

Bwah! Now there is a story. *eyeroll* We have bad grammar in just the summary and a fourteen-ish year old elf lovin girl. Not sure whether I ahould really dare look any further or not. (note: I did, and an elf dropped out of the sky onto me. Oy!)

but then we do have that Emma, a cool Brit part. Now that, I like. *nods*

[kitness.livejournal.com]

I can't recall the last time I was so disturbed and yet so amused. I went ahead and did my top three all form HP. I'm not touching LOTR with a ten foot pole after this.

[honorh.livejournal.com]

The guy who played Arthur (somebody Freeman--Martin?) was absolutely adorable, and exactly what Arthur Dent should be. Also, that song deserves an Oscar. Hee!

[chunkylimes.livejournal.com]

I can't wait for the entire UN to subtly insult Bolton. That will rock in a way that adjectives cannot begin to describe.

Mine: Katie, Angela, and Yolanda are average teengae girls there popular, pretty, and rich! But one day at the mall goes terrible wrong and the end up in Middle Earth! What happens to them? Find out by reading Preps in Middle Earth! "Katharine" got nothing, so I had to cheat.

My God, the "mall to ME" or "car-crash" plots could rival annoying emo people in their ubiquity.

[chunkylimes.livejournal.com]

Actually, I think that while LotR has more of an OC problem, HP has much more general badfic.

Of course, I could be in denial.

[saraswathi-rani.livejournal.com]

I actually drooled over Ford most of the time. Then I actually read the book and nearly burst into tears to discover that he was actually ginger-haired and freakish-looking.

But 'tis okay! There's little enough description of him in the books that I can just imagine that he's hot, anyways. ^_^

[blue-moon-ice.livejournal.com]

I feel like sucha loser. I did the meme and the only one I got was a german one for Harry Potter and it is too late for me to try and translate it. Maybe if I search in all the fandoms I'll find one... Okay, so that didn't work either. So I decided to spell it the common way. And have been flooded with fics modled after Bridget Jones's Diary...

This is my sister's story, so please review! Laughs guaranteed! Ron has a crazy romance with Goyle's older sister Bridget. Please read!
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2273109/1/

This is horrible because it just makes me into Goyle's sister.... Ick...

[karaotter.livejournal.com]

I found a rather interesting one for mine.

Hermione Granger is a very respectable girl. She’s the top of her year, a total bookworm, and obeys every rule. So how did she get pregnant? Who's the father of her child? And how's Cassie going to react when she finds out how she was born?

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2104019/1/

[aervir.livejournal.com]

Heh, this meme is really amusing! Admittedly, I cheated a bit and typed in "Margaret" instead of "Margit" (the latter yielded no results, just as I expected), but here's what I came up with:

an elfnamed margaret writes to Aragorn and legs(hehe) gets ahold of one and reads it then gives it a shot. they become friends and wel..... you'll find out so read please

At least the author of "not your everyday witch" has a vocabulary that even includes the word "nay". Whereas "my" story, which is imaginatively named Margaret includes epistolary gems like this:

Aragorn,
Good to hear from you glad to see that your ok I was worried when you told me of the war in our last letter. Keep up the good work tell Legolas and Gimili that I miss them and cant wait to see them when all of this des down. Also I cant wait to see you when you are well away from all this and safe, were you can finally rest. Write when you can, oh and Arwen says “hi.”

This must be a troll, right?

[rowanna73.livejournal.com]

Not my real name and only one match with "Rowanna" - but it's bad enough as it is. This is not a summary but an excerpt of this really short fic Fallen Love: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1742124/1/

Rowanna had just gotten into her best dress, tamed her hair, and was trying to get it dry. She sat atop her talan trying to dry her hair. “Holy Eru! This will take forever to get dry! She exclaimed pointing at the damp wet mass of golden hair.
“Then just go talan jumping!” Said her best friend Aradina.
“But the last time I did that I missed the talan!” Rowanna told Aradina.
“Fine ill go myself!” She said springing up. Rowanna, after some thinking, quickly followed. Jumping swiftly from platform to platform got her streaming hair dry.

***

She then found with a sickening feel in her heart, she never said goodbye. She knew what she must do. She quickly wrote a letter explaining to Rumil and Aradina what happened. She then fount the knife, she had gotten 16 long years ago and plunged it into her heart, blood blending with the read of her dress. Golden hair fanning out behind her. She was granted into the halls of Mandos. Looking around she found Haldir waiting. He enclosed her in his arms and said softly.
“I wondered when you would come home.”


Urgh.

[perhatikan.livejournal.com]

I have to wait for Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy untill the end of the month to see it in the cinema.

Did the meme and the worst one was in french: My Homepage Cindy est une Québécoise qui aménage au 6 Privet Drive, juste a côté de Potter. C'est une sorcière... [spoiler du tome 5, ceux qui on pas lu, lisez pas car y'a des surprises][rating, pour cause d'une relation sexuelle plus tard dans l'histoire]

Rough translation: Cindy is a girl from Québéc who lives across 6 Privet Drive, across from Potter. she's a witch...(Spoilers for book 5, those who haven't read it, read carefully because there are surprises.)(Rated for a sexual relationship later in the story).

*shudders*

The one with my namesake being Snape's psychologist comes in second.

[perhatikan.livejournal.com]

And I wouldn't have it on my homepage if I had one. Me is being silly again.

[siraj.livejournal.com]

My brain meats hurtses they does...

Double Disillusion by fight-grl
Bryn realises that there is more to her uncle Gandalf than meets the eye. Being in Middle Earth she is forced to make decisions that could change the fate of two worlds. And will her strained relationship with the elf come together when it matters most?


And to think I was named for my mother's great aunt... *works on getting his name legally changed*

[rose-noire.livejournal.com]

No result found. Please expand your search.

[yavannie77.livejournal.com]

What fun. Only one hit in HP. However, this Johanna seems to be the only love of Tom Riddle...

"It’s a shame, really, Johanna, about Tom. Not even Slytherins talk to him." Loosely based on Wicked the musical, a prequel for Tom Riddle, if you will. Oh, yes, Lord Voldemort is evil, but it’s not all for naught. He’s got his story as well, and you should listen.

Huh. http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2480127/1/

Two matches in LotR, of which the other is in German. But the English one, erm, well. See for yourself.

Here's the summary:
Johanna (that's my character in this fic!) takes an innocent walk in a woods that turns into a battle between good and evil and a fight for survival alongside the Fellowship. During this time, everyone finds an angel in her and their friendship grow deep.

And a quick glance at the first chapter tells me that Johanna saves Frodo by using CPR, breaks Legolas' nose by headbutting and makes Gimli blush. Not bad from a concert violinist, eh? But at least the writer knows how to spell. :)

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/543334/1/