This stupidity *again*?

[misscam]

Dude, what the f?

There was a somewhat similar incident involving fanfic for money recently and I'm beginning to wonder if this is a trend. Maybe I should start "Give me a kitten - I'll write you a fanfic". Or maybe that's overprizing myself. Maybe I should write for icons.

Joking aside, this better not be a trend. It'll give various TPTB all the more reason to smack down on fanfic, which is sailing treacherous legal waters already. So people - don't be dumb. That often spotted disclaimer at rge top of a fanfic with "not doing this for profit" is not there to look hot in its newest pink gown. It is there for a reason. (Now, it is another matter if copyright has expired and work is now in the public domain, but that only pertains to a small number of fanfics.) COPYRIGHT COPYRIGHT COPYRIGHT. If you borrow my CSI DVDs to watch them and have nice daydreams about Warrick, you can't then sell them on without inducing my wrath. Don't be dumb.

But to get back to the more amusing side - a meme. If you were rich and had money to waste, what kind of fanfic would you pay me to write (and how much you'd pay)? Give a few details - can be plot, pairing, title, other specifics - and I shall give you the first three sentences for free. I'm so generous it hurts.

Comments

[daeuiel.livejournal.com]

Dude, if I were rich, I would pay you to write a believable story about a friendship developed between Boromir and a female student at OFUM, who is actually somewhat normal. That would be fun to read. :)

[dawning-star.livejournal.com]

I'd be willing to pay upwards of $5000 (US) if you would write a plausible Mary-Sue.

...

Now that I think about it, that money would be better spent on bodyguards. *runs*

[aervir.livejournal.com]

Dude, what the fuck?

My thoughts exactly! :)

Another user on my f-list had already complained about this person earlier today (and that's apparently how the whole kerfuffle originally made its way to fandom_wank), and I assumed at first that it must be the same user you linked to some time ago, because there simply can't be two people that dumb. There obviously can... And the stupidity, it burnssss.

So, what would I pay you for? Let's say a year's decent wages if you compose a huge X-Files epic that rewrites the silly canon of seasons 7-9, resolves the conspiracy/invasion/apocalypse story arc in a satisfying manner, includes heavy doses of M/S UST and gratuitous angst galore. How about that? Not that it wouldn't be demanding the impossible. Resolving the conspiracy thingie, I mean.

[unendingreverie.livejournal.com]

I would pay you, uh, a weekend's pay... if you would write Merry/Eowyn smut. There are NONE on the entire Internet. *pouts*

[ladyumbra.livejournal.com]

hmm if i had the money i'd commis you to write me a gravitation fic.( yes i'd force you to watch anime, hot slash anime) cept it'd be a shuichi ryuichi fics involving ryuichi's obsession with his pink rabbit puppet.

No idea what I'd call it, but ah well.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

It started, as a lot of things do at OFUM, with a forgotten fireball behind a locked door - a door Sauron had assumed Morgoth would open sooner or later.

The one who opened in the end had nothing in common with Sauron (apart from perhaps a certain redness in the eyes when annoyed), but the fireball was so lonely it didn't much care and roared anyway.

Fuve seconds later, Rita found herself pinned under a very fast and cursing Boromir, and things would never quite be the same again.

Re: No idea what I'd call it, but ah well.

[daeuiel.livejournal.com]

Cam! I love you, it's perfect. :D

*lets her imagination finish the story* ...but if you ever wanted to, be my guest! :D

Might as well go for the ultimate one

[misscam.livejournal.com]

You can run, but you can't hide. I can hire search dogs.

High above the city stood she, Denethor's daughter, her white dress making her seem almost as carved from the white city itself. War, the loss of her mother and her father's cold had long since made her hard.

And yet, every morning she came to stare at the dawn and allow herself just a moment of hope.

[undeadgoat.livejournal.com]

. . . Damn. I can't tell you what to finish, then?

Now there would be an epic undertaking

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Same one, I think. Two in one day would be a bit much, though one never knows.

The part of him that was still human was howling, clawing at the brain, trying desperately to gain control. But thoughts were wisps and the part of him was alien only ignored it, mind on one thing.

Home.

Bond of Death

[misscam.livejournal.com]

I've read a fic where Merry was in love with Eowyn, but that's about it.

It had become a habit of sorts he would sit by her side and watch her breath, telling himself he was only looking after her because everyone else had so much to do. A nice story, but a lie.

He had aided her in his small way in killing the Lord of Carrion and now it seemed to him a bond of death had tied them together.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

... I have no idea who those people are. So until then, you're three sentences would have to be...

Pink.

Rabbit.

There was, Shuichi considered, something very, very wrong with those two words and wronger still to see them together as a puppet currently being petted by Ryuichi.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

I shall venture a guess - OFUM2?

[undeadgoat.livejournal.com]

Well, that would probably have the most fun next three sentences, but if I were actually offering you money to finish a fic, it'd be Nocturne . . . A year's income solely in opals for the next three sentences? Maybe?

Or else the same except cash for 3 sentences of something (1) HP and (2) very humorous. Possibly involving slash.

Re: No idea what I'd call it, but ah well.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

I think one student/teacher romance was quite enough :P:P

Re: Might as well go for the ultimate one

[undeadgoat.livejournal.com]

You know what I love about you?

Well, lots.

But the fact that Denethor's daughter is your ultimate 'Sue . . . *looks guiltily at copy of LotR* I haven't reread in over a year . . .

Well, I can give you the draft ending I wrote for it ages ago...

[misscam.livejournal.com]

I almost always have the ending for a story written early on.

"You look happy," Gimli said quietly behind him.

"I am," Legolas replied, closing his eyes to the smell of the sea all around them. He was happy, even knowing all that had been and all that would come. Eventually, the night would come to Gimli and fall between them, dooming Legolas to memories and loss. But for now, morning was about to break and in the West, the Blessed Realm waited for them both to be light for a long, long time.

"I am too," Gimli said, light in his voice and Legolas opened his eyes to the dawn.

Morning now.

Re: No idea what I'd call it, but ah well.

[daeuiel.livejournal.com]

Hey, I agree--that's why I asked for a friendship story! :p :p

Re: Might as well go for the ultimate one

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Oh, in my mind I was gonna pair her with Legolas, make her a kickass warrior and related to important characters - and coupled ith a few other things, would make her the ultimate Sue

Re: Well, I can give you the draft ending I wrote for it ages ago...

[undeadgoat.livejournal.com]

OMG OPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALS!

I like Legolas/Gimli, but I can't be bothered to seek it out, because I am lazy, which is why I got all squee-fully happy when you started writing some.

Re: No idea what I'd call it, but ah well.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Bah. I meant one student/teacher exploration. Bad Cam.

Re: No idea what I'd call it, but ah well.

[undeadgoat.livejournal.com]

. . . I still go "OMGSQUEE!" whenever I see someone use any icon I use.

Which I know is slightly irrational.

But it makes me feel fuzzy inside.

Re: Might as well go for the ultimate one

[undeadgoat.livejournal.com]

Still, though . . .

I would make her me and pair her with Maglor . . . the rest is just details.

[erhothwen.livejournal.com]

I would pay you to write Harry Potter student/student boy pr0n, just out of amusement. Any pairing, the squicky and the vanilla.

[bloodanna.livejournal.com]

I'd pay you $500 and two kittens for a Batman/Robin fic from Bruce Wayne's POV just as he starts to realize how he feels for this young sidekick friend.