This stupidity *again*?

[misscam]

Dude, what the f?

There was a somewhat similar incident involving fanfic for money recently and I'm beginning to wonder if this is a trend. Maybe I should start "Give me a kitten - I'll write you a fanfic". Or maybe that's overprizing myself. Maybe I should write for icons.

Joking aside, this better not be a trend. It'll give various TPTB all the more reason to smack down on fanfic, which is sailing treacherous legal waters already. So people - don't be dumb. That often spotted disclaimer at rge top of a fanfic with "not doing this for profit" is not there to look hot in its newest pink gown. It is there for a reason. (Now, it is another matter if copyright has expired and work is now in the public domain, but that only pertains to a small number of fanfics.) COPYRIGHT COPYRIGHT COPYRIGHT. If you borrow my CSI DVDs to watch them and have nice daydreams about Warrick, you can't then sell them on without inducing my wrath. Don't be dumb.

But to get back to the more amusing side - a meme. If you were rich and had money to waste, what kind of fanfic would you pay me to write (and how much you'd pay)? Give a few details - can be plot, pairing, title, other specifics - and I shall give you the first three sentences for free. I'm so generous it hurts.

Comments

[daeuiel.livejournal.com]

Dude, if I were rich, I would pay you to write a believable story about a friendship developed between Boromir and a female student at OFUM, who is actually somewhat normal. That would be fun to read. :)

No idea what I'd call it, but ah well.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

It started, as a lot of things do at OFUM, with a forgotten fireball behind a locked door - a door Sauron had assumed Morgoth would open sooner or later.

The one who opened in the end had nothing in common with Sauron (apart from perhaps a certain redness in the eyes when annoyed), but the fireball was so lonely it didn't much care and roared anyway.

Fuve seconds later, Rita found herself pinned under a very fast and cursing Boromir, and things would never quite be the same again.

[dawning-star.livejournal.com]

I'd be willing to pay upwards of $5000 (US) if you would write a plausible Mary-Sue.

...

Now that I think about it, that money would be better spent on bodyguards. *runs*

Might as well go for the ultimate one

[misscam.livejournal.com]

You can run, but you can't hide. I can hire search dogs.

High above the city stood she, Denethor's daughter, her white dress making her seem almost as carved from the white city itself. War, the loss of her mother and her father's cold had long since made her hard.

And yet, every morning she came to stare at the dawn and allow herself just a moment of hope.

[aervir.livejournal.com]

Dude, what the fuck?

My thoughts exactly! :)

Another user on my f-list had already complained about this person earlier today (and that's apparently how the whole kerfuffle originally made its way to fandom_wank), and I assumed at first that it must be the same user you linked to some time ago, because there simply can't be two people that dumb. There obviously can... And the stupidity, it burnssss.

So, what would I pay you for? Let's say a year's decent wages if you compose a huge X-Files epic that rewrites the silly canon of seasons 7-9, resolves the conspiracy/invasion/apocalypse story arc in a satisfying manner, includes heavy doses of M/S UST and gratuitous angst galore. How about that? Not that it wouldn't be demanding the impossible. Resolving the conspiracy thingie, I mean.

Now there would be an epic undertaking

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Same one, I think. Two in one day would be a bit much, though one never knows.

The part of him that was still human was howling, clawing at the brain, trying desperately to gain control. But thoughts were wisps and the part of him was alien only ignored it, mind on one thing.

Home.

[unendingreverie.livejournal.com]

I would pay you, uh, a weekend's pay... if you would write Merry/Eowyn smut. There are NONE on the entire Internet. *pouts*

Bond of Death

[misscam.livejournal.com]

I've read a fic where Merry was in love with Eowyn, but that's about it.

It had become a habit of sorts he would sit by her side and watch her breath, telling himself he was only looking after her because everyone else had so much to do. A nice story, but a lie.

He had aided her in his small way in killing the Lord of Carrion and now it seemed to him a bond of death had tied them together.

[ladyumbra.livejournal.com]

hmm if i had the money i'd commis you to write me a gravitation fic.( yes i'd force you to watch anime, hot slash anime) cept it'd be a shuichi ryuichi fics involving ryuichi's obsession with his pink rabbit puppet.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

... I have no idea who those people are. So until then, you're three sentences would have to be...

Pink.

Rabbit.

There was, Shuichi considered, something very, very wrong with those two words and wronger still to see them together as a puppet currently being petted by Ryuichi.

[undeadgoat.livejournal.com]

. . . Damn. I can't tell you what to finish, then?

[misscam.livejournal.com]

I shall venture a guess - OFUM2?

[erhothwen.livejournal.com]

I would pay you to write Harry Potter student/student boy pr0n, just out of amusement. Any pairing, the squicky and the vanilla.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

"Oh, Neville," the other boy moaned, "cuddle me as you do Trevover!"

It was, Neville decided, the second most oddest thing he had been asked by Draco Malfoy that day - the first he dared not think about. Snape's cauldron might never be the same...

[bloodanna.livejournal.com]

I'd pay you $500 and two kittens for a Batman/Robin fic from Bruce Wayne's POV just as he starts to realize how he feels for this young sidekick friend.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Robin bent over.

It was at that moment Batman knew he was lost. For never had there been such a fine ass in tight leather pants merely a pat away.

[greyladybast.livejournal.com]

Where's my Red Dwarf Cat Smut?!?!?!

That's what I asked for last time this sort of thing came up, and it's still what I want. So cough up the goods, woman! *grin*

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Patience is not a vitue with you, huh?

Sadly, there is this thing I have called "life", which sadly demands a certain attention.

[sinneahtes.livejournal.com]

Gaaaaaah.

I'd pay you $75 (or the equivalent in the Norwegian currency) to write RPS where Bush gets what he deserves. Involves the obvious job change, fish-smacking, letting cats leave dead rats on his pillow, making him clean up and apologize for his messes in Iraq and elsewhere personally, and other lovely things you can think of. (I don't even like RPS, but I'd read this one.)

If you had magical powers to make that story happen in real life, I'd pay you $5 for it--reality would pay for the rest of the effort. ;)

[sinneahtes.livejournal.com]

Wait, is it RPS or RPF or something? Crud, I can never keep them straight. Doesn't need to be slash, I mean.

[saxihighlandck.livejournal.com]

I'd pay you 10 dollars to write the outting of two male CSI Characters. Either Nick/Warrick or Nick/Greg or even the rare Warrick/Greg. *gasp* Yes.. I have no life...

But really.. WTF on getting someone to pay for a fanfic...

[saxihighlandck.livejournal.com]

did I say 10? I mean $1000. *grin* I would also set you up in a nice hotel in Topeka so you could hate Phelps from here!

:-D

[http://users.livejournal.com/_tallian_/]

Looks to me like the *ahem* lovely woman is getting what she didn't know she was asking for. Sheesh. She's lucky if she doesn't get sued for that.

As to the excellent meme ...

I'd like your take on Grissom/Lady Heather. Pleeeeeease ....

I'll send you chocolate of your choice every Wednesday ...

[misscam.livejournal.com]

"Why did you say stop?"

Heather's gaze was as always direct, burrowing into him and demanding nothing less than the truth.

"Because it gave me the power back," he replied and watched the shadows play across her hair.

[kittkatbar77.livejournal.com]

hey! long time no chat, lol. iv'e been a bit distant since my vacation, but now i'm getting back into the swing of things. I'm so excited that I got nominated for the Yoblinger of the Month award, especially in August, my birthday month! :P
So what ever happened to OFUCSI? I checked fanfiction and it still says 6 chapters... did you roll down the runway and never take off? or do i just need to be there to poke and prod you. :P

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Oh, just got busy and hit a slight creative drainage. New chapter will come soon enough.

And congrats!

[avari-elf.livejournal.com]

If you were rich and had money to waste, what kind of fanfic would you pay me to write (and how much you'd pay)?

I wouldn't pay, because you're much too nice to end up in jail because of copyright violations.

But LOTR fanfics are always appreciated, and I could send you French pastries :)

[misscam.livejournal.com]

“I can do better than ye at any task, Master Elf,” Gimli said furiously, planting his feet in on the ground with a resounding ‘thunk’.

Legolas looked dubious. "Gimli, are you really sure you want to start a poetry contest with an Elf?"

[boz4pm.livejournal.com]

WTF?! *falls off chair* Now, you see, this is what happens when you a) are off the net for long periods of time and b)have only just started up on LJ - you miss the good stuff. People asking for money for fanfic?! O.O And you just KNOW it has to be crapfic too. Bleurgh. Stupid AND nasty. *shudders* Can we hunt them down and hurt them, Miss Cam? Pleeeeeeeaaaase? *does puppy eyes*

*points at GLB* Did she just ask for Red Dwarf Cat smut? *blinks*

Can't think of a fic at the mo... will get back to you. *dons thinking cap and pensive truss* *ponders muchly*

~Boz~

[misscam.livejournal.com]

She did, yes.

And it appears one of the fanfics she asked for money to have time off to write is not only written by her, but is a collebarative effort of over a dozen authors. Sheesh.

[evilstorm.livejournal.com]

If I were seriously rich and had money to waste, I'd pay you, oh, a smegload of money if you were to write a story about the Dagor Dagorath, set in our present world, incorporating as much of mortal history and culture and myth and legend as you could. *nods*

(By smegload I mean something in the thousands, possibly negotiable.)

[misscam.livejournal.com]

There was an ill wind stroking the Earth. There had to be. Why else would such a sense of gloom fill the air and the humans with a taunt of doom to come?

[piecesofalice.livejournal.com]

I'd ask for a Jack the Ripper meets the Mona Lisa fic, with the setting being modern New York City.

Yo!

[boz4pm.livejournal.com]

*blinks* So... she was asking for money when it wasn't even a solo effort? What did the other co-authors have to say about this? Were they not a little miffed? Or was this a communal bank-rolling - 'one dollar for me, one dollar for you, one dollar for Miss Urple the Third over there...'?!

*head-desks at the stupidity of it all*

[boz4pm.livejournal.com]

Gah! Sorry - clicked the wrong 'reply' button. I'm still finding my way around all this stuff. *adopts frazzled expression*