A Dirge for Kielle

[misscam]

kielle (aka _redpanda_) died the other day from very aggressive cancer. You can read more details here.

I didn't know Kielle too well personally. She was never what you'd call a close friend, but you don't always need to be a friend of someone to see the light they shine with. She was a force in fandom, passionate, opinionated and creative. She was never an easy person to disagree with, but we need those in the world, forcing us to rethink and find our own arguments. She had a sense of humour, a sense of enjoyment about what she did. She didn't live long, being only 32 when she died, but she did *live*. In this world where apathy sometimes seems the most dangerous enemy of all, that is a legacy to leave.

And most probably did know her through her fanfics, which were, if not to everyone's taste, works of dedication. She cared. She made others care. (Some in the CSI fandom might best know her as the origin of all those fun Post-Its. Think of her the next time you use them.)

I have no God I believe in to ask to watch over you, Kielle, but perhaps an atheist's thoughts will mean something even so. I wish you didn't have to leave us so soon. I wish you didn't have to endure such pain. I wish your family didn't have to lose you, as no family should have to suffer such a loss. I wish... I wish the world was more worthy of those who try to make a difference in it. But what is, is and the past cannot be changed.

The future still can.

I will miss your force in that shaping, Kielle. Rest in peace, silence and no pain.

Cattle die, kindred die,
Every man is mortal:
But the words' glory
Will never die
In honourable reminisce
- Håvamål

Comments

[gypsyjr.livejournal.com]

Well said.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[sekhmets-temple.livejournal.com]

Oh...no...

I've read some of her work. I loved "Blood and Warm Blankets". She was so talented and her sense of humour was brilliant. This is just so shocking and sad.

Thank you for posting this (and the link) in your LJ or I might never have known.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I know. Her writing is perhaps what most will remember her for.

I'm sorry to bring such sad news.

[beautyid.livejournal.com]

...What? o_o' Kielle's dead? I knew she had cancer, but... oh my God. What? I just can't believe this. It's not like we were friends or anything. But I knew her through the fandom... she always reviewed my fics... I really liked her. What happened? I know what happened, I'm just... in shock.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Losing the young is always a shock. It's not how we feel it's meant to be.

[beautyid.livejournal.com]

That is so true. My dad's boss recently died very suddenly, but he was 79 - somehow, it was a lot easier to accept. It was easier to think that it was his time to go.

[vulgarweed.livejournal.com]

Gorgeous, gorgeous post. Brought me to tears all over again...in a good way, though.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Thanks. Words don't seem much in face of such a loss, but as my forefathers said, in the end, it is what is left.

[hadria.livejournal.com]

I don't know her except for the aforementioned hilarious stickies that she made, but a beautiful post, and always a terrible, terrible loss when someone so bright and good passes away so young. :(

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Yes. She wasn't active in the CSI fandom, but she definitely was in the LotR fandom, hence why I know her at least a little bit. She was hard to miss in the fandoms she was active in.

Feels strange not to have her about.

[elvenpiratelady.livejournal.com]

Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light;
I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.

Goodbye, Kielle. Rest in peace.

[sinneahtes.livejournal.com]

Oh, man... I never knew her, never visited her journal, never saw her work... but _redpanda_ was one of the usernames I saw quite often around the LJ-universe, and I often wondered what sort of person was behind the username... and I don't know if it's just me and my love of watching what goes on and noting the patterns, but seeing that name pop up somewhere just made me smile.

That the news of a person's death can leave a stranger like me, who had only caught a glimpse of that person, grieved... I guess that says something about such a person...

[belegcuthalion.livejournal.com]

Her hysterical parody Nine Men and a little Lady was one of the very first tales I ever translated into german; at those times I barely knew anyone in the fandom and was making my first (and rather unsure) steps among a lot of unknown people. When I sent her the email to ask if I might take Nine Men on my site, I received a totally excited answer. She was flattered and happy, and when I created my own journal, I found her comments again and again. I will miss her very much - she was a kind, friendly and supportive person, and so young, good Lord, so young.

[evilstorm.livejournal.com]

What the--

the fuck--

_DAMN.

*very subdued* I didn't know her personally. But I knew who she was, on lj and otherwise--if nothing else, she was part of the fandom, and that almost makes her a sort of very distantly related kin in a way, you know? And yes, she was a bright bright woman. I...may not have always appreciated the stuff that she did, but there's no denying that.

What's there to say? Nothing much, really.

Namarie, Kielle. You are remembered.

[siraj.livejournal.com]

*offers a prayer to Anubis to watch over her*

I hope you have a safe journey kielle...