The Sacred Social Purpose of Sues. Or something.

[misscam]

Oy so very vey

It’s the age of the anti-hero, and we are the pioneers.
THAT’S the real reason why we are allowed to write Mary Sues, and the rest of you aren’t. Because we are not only honest about our repulsive personality traits and physical appearance, but we REVEL in it. Our Mary Sues NEVER get the boy in the end. They have NO special abilities or talents, aside from any that we have in real life. They are not who we wish we were, they are who we ARE. And we are so fucking proud of ourselves, we are SO completely happy with being US, flaws and all, that we can stick an honest version of ourselves into the Resident Evil universe, and utterly get away with it, because if nothing else, we have the confidence to carry it off, and to say to the world “This is us. We’re not perfect, but if you don’t like it, you can suck my rocket”.

...

What the hell is this, the Sacred Social Purpose of Sues? Mary Sues: Vote now for the age of anti-heroes. Bring grovelling minion attitude cos dammit, we are SO great!

When the hell did fanfiction become the movement for Greater Acceptance of How Wonderful We Are anyway? Here I thought it was about playing around in established universe with established characters since we love those so much. Clearly, I am behind the times. I should have been writing 'The Wonderful Adventures of Cam' years ago. And possibly make a smut version wherein I did hot men. Cos I'm SO great. (And that was sarcasm, in case that failed to come across.)

And thus, a meme:
You're guest-starring in my Wonderful Adventures of Cam. Which fandom do we visit, what do we do, and if you're so inclined and perverted, who do we have a threesome with?
Bonus points of long paragraphs of clothing descriptions.

In other news:
US death toll in Iraq hits 2000
Bush's nominee for Supreme Court steps down
Norwegian King and Queen meets British Royals
Iran leaders call for Israel to "be wiped off the map", world not amused

Comments

[chem-nerd.livejournal.com]

Can we go to Star Trek: Next Gen? And save the Enterprise from destruction by a tag-team of Borg, Romulans and Ferengi? Pick your uniform, personally, I think I'll be a commander--sciences. (hands up, anyone who's surprised) So that'll make me a blue shirt with 3 pips on the collar. *fangirls shamelessly*

[misscam.livejournal.com]

I'll be the ensign who saves the day and gets promoted to Admiral of the Universe.

Fun times!

[binglexjells.livejournal.com]

We'd visit Dr Who. We'd travel waaaay back in time to discover how -cough- Bush was allowed to survive past birth -cough-. He'd [the doctor, obviously] be wearing no clothes, so I can't really earn bonus points for clothing description...

[misscam.livejournal.com]

That's okay. You get a gold star for the naked Doctor.

Mmmm.

[silvery-lass.livejournal.com]

A trip to the Star Trek: TNG universe - the movie Nemesis - and saves Data just in the nick of time so he doesn't get killed when the Scimitar explodes.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Haven't seen that movie. Poor Data.

OMG, u spoiled me!!!11!

[silvery-lass.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry, but look on the bright side I saved you from having to look at a crappy movie. It wasn't good, the only movies with the TNG crew that is worth seeing is "First Contact" and "Insurrection".

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Ah.

All forgiven, then. Not that I was really pining to see it anyhoo.

[highwindpav.livejournal.com]

Wait, aren't those SIs, not Sues? ::confused:: Or do they still spill Sueage all over the place without perfect crystaline tears and radiant tresses of spun gold cascading down their graceful necks?

Well, hmmm...we could visit LotR as the tenth and eleventh walkers so as to guard them against real Mary Sues. Maybe make a pit-stop in FFVII to make sure Cid Romanizes his girlfriend's name right when naming his new airship.

P.S. ::fwaps Iran::

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Yeah, the ranter had her terminology quite confused, which was part of the eyerolling. A SI is not always a Sue, but given how they wrote about their characters, I do still get Sue vibes.

Cid didn't? Bad Cid!

[highwindpav.livejournal.com]

Ew. I don't want to read about Anti-Sue Sues. I think I'd almost rather read about perfect Sues. Sues are bad enough without them being unacquianted with hygiene or tact. (I kinda got the feeling the authors thought they had achieved the rarified status of real life Sues...)

And yes, bad Cid. He might figure it out by the time Advent Children (and any other FFVII spin-offs) crosses the Pacific, but I only rabidly 'ship one 'ship and I want my canon evidence out in people's faces, damnit.

[starra-cat.livejournal.com]

We go to the Stargate Universe. (Where Bush is not President.) We save the world (and the universe while we are at it). As a reward, we get to go on vacation to (Stargate) Atlantis where there are lots of gorgeous guys with accents (think Scottish, etc) live.

And that is just a brief sketch. Lots more fun than described.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Mmm, Scots...

[chunkylimes.livejournal.com]

Yay for ego reinforcement!


Let's see:


We go to ME. Just 'cause. Through a car accident or something. We travel from Rivendell to Mirkwood and back in a day, and then go on a sight-seeing tour with a dude from Khand as our guide.

You get to wear a rainbow-striped spandex shirt complete with a rhinestone studded collar and sleeve-ends. The sleeves flare out at the end, and they have little dangly strings. Your hair is dyed blue and orange and sprayed up so that it looks like you've got a static generator above your head. Your pants are green denim and "Save The Whales!" is stiched onto the back end. All in all, they are very tacky, but the leg hems have been torn out so the pant bottom is all ragged. You're wearing dainty little ballet shoes with pink ribbon laces.

I am stuck in a 100kg golden suit of armour. You'd think this'd make me fall over, but it doesn't. I apparently have a very strong back. My hair is done into 500 purple braids, complete with sparkly string. I am wearing 10kg of eye makeup alone. There are six layers of eyeshadow. I have yellow Converse on.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Now that's a damn scary outfit to imagine myself in. Wow. And the hair... Yowza.

Hee.

[b2wm.livejournal.com]

Ah, but we have to show our worst qualities, so... we THINK we're going to Middle-Earth to snog a certain pair of brothers. (If you want a threesome with Eowyn, all the more power to you.) We get teh sparkly elfieness shine going, with leather warrior outfits and chiffon ball gowns to change in and out of at a moment's notice.

We land in Lancre. Run like Rincewind. ;)

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Good thing I have good running shoes.

Wonderful Adventures of Cam

[git-the-goddess.livejournal.com]

We shall visit...

The tardis. Where we shall proceed to have an orgy with Nine, Jack, Rose and possibly Ten as well. Guest appearances will be made by Grissom, Jack Sparrow and Riddick and earlier Doctors. Bananas will be involved, as well as chocolate body paint. Hey, why stop at three?

Since we'll be in the Tardis, we'll have picnics while watching a scenic Caesar murder in ancient Rome, go shopping in pre-war Troy and watch tournaments on the field of the cloth of gold. Then we'll go oogle cute warriors on dragon-boats.

I shall be wearing (to start with) a deep sapphire blue brocade gown, with elegantly huge sleeves, and a impressive train over a floor-length shift, made from pale raw silk, with red soft leather slippers. I shall probably end up wearing Tens' trenchcoat.

In between shall appear a skimpy chainmail bikini.

Re: Wonderful Adventures of Cam

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Orgies!

You're quite right, we don't want to be seen as unflexible (in all ways). The more the merrier.

You fancying the trenchcoat, huh? I want the leather jacket.

Re: Wonderful Adventures of Cam

[git-the-goddess.livejournal.com]

Thought you would. :)

Re: Wonderful Adventures of Cam

[puredeadthingy.livejournal.com]

You think you're making it up about the chainmail bikini. I've seen one. *shudders*

Re: Wonderful Adventures of Cam

[git-the-goddess.livejournal.com]

I've seen one go very, very wrong.
Ouch.
Let's just say, if you want to wear one, either wax *everything* or wear something under the chainmail.

[andy-longwood.livejournal.com]

You're guest-starring in my Wonderful Adventures of Cam. Which fandom do we visit, what do we do, and if you're so inclined and perverted, who do we have a threesome with?
Bonus points of long paragraphs of clothing descriptions.

You and I take a brief swarray in the universe of Firefly, wherein we become indespensable members of the crew of Serenity, you as the obligatory Quip-maker, and I as the official Polisher of Teaspoons. My black leather boots with spikes and painted flames never fail to attract attention, and neither do your large, fluffy skirts, which tend to get brighter and more fluffy according to how illegal the cargo we're carrying is.

And we don't have a threesome, oh no. We have a foursome. With Zoe and Wash. Because we're just too awesome for threesomes, dammit.

[elvenpiratelady.livejournal.com]

There never is and never will be enough WTF??!! in the universe for that post. Now I'm really getting a headache...

Let's go to the Discworld and become witches and work our way up to Unquestioned Twin Queens of the Multiverse, you with your atramentous locks and violet-quicksilver eyes, and I with my sunkissed ochroid curls and sparkling cerulean eyes.

Not forgetting of course the daily orgies involving the City Watch, Vetinari, Rincewind, the wizards of Unseen University, the listening Monks, Dibbler, Death and family, the Nac Mac Feegle, vampires, werewolves, witches, gods of Cori Celesti and the Ice Giants, who have refused to return the lawnmower. :P

[roguem.livejournal.com]

I love your icon!!

Oh, some of the people here at the house were at that Norwegian King and Queen meets British Royals