The Internet is full of the stupid, sanity-boggling and shippery rabidus

[misscam]

Samples from this week.

An IM convo:
atwat hy cammy how r u
misscam I'm okay - who are you?
atwat i am from lebnon f 18
atwat very nice picture
misscam Was there anything in particular you wanted?
atwat i need nude if u have
atwat your are f / M
misscam I don't give out nude pictures online, so forget that
atwat not give just put on Display
misscam no chance
atwat ok are u a girl
misscam yes
atwat so u have cam
misscam I have a cam when I bother to hook it up, yes
atwat ok
atwat can u send me invitation
misscam I'm not doing a webcam with you. I don't know you
atwat ok dont worrie i am your friend how old u
misscam 25
atwat u say hello dont be affraid to chat to me but now u afraid
atwat i am smaller then u i am 19 iam not affraid
misscam I'm not afraid. I just think you're trying to drag me into some kind of sex chat, and I am not interested in that.
misscam thus, bye-bye
misscam incidentally, bad grammar and spelling does not get me hot *blocks*

An e-mail to a Gary Dourdan e-mail group:
Title: hope u read my email gary

hi,
i really don't knw how to start i knw that this ain't a letter but just wanna say that u r really such a wonderful person. u don't knw me as a person but maybe one day who knws i will see u soon. i have read what happened 2 ur brother daryl and i knw it is very hard for u but i hope from god and i will pray for u and ur bro that soon u will find the person who killed ur brother.. one more thing i would like 2 add that is that u have got a very lovely daughter god bless her and god bless u 2..

take care of ur self...
my name is intisar..

A CSI fanfic:
(Ok Rain is me but way, way, way, prettier, Maddy is my friend Maddy, Michele is my friend Michele, Zala is my friend Nikki) In my story everyone Grissom is 30, Catherine is 29, Warrick is 27, Nick is 26, Sara is 27 and Greg is 26.

A Doctor Who fanfic:
Jackie beats up the Doctor. Seriously.

An 'OMG YOU CANNOT SAY THAT YOU MEEAAAANIE!':
ScullyasTrinity rather jokingly calls Billy Pedersen a 'shmuck'. People take offense. A lot of offense. A lot a lot.

A 'where the fuck did all the upper case letters go?':
catherine eventually found the courage to get up, and she slowly walked over to greg, she apoliguised for causing a scene, and told him she would be going home. greg just nodded and let her go, cath walked out, forgeting she was just in her black tankini, forgeting her clothes were in the bathroom, forgeting her keys were in the kitchen, forgeting that she couldn't get home.

A 'the GSR-Titanic spots the LH-iceberg':
OhNOES, there is HUGGING! (Spoiler warning.)
misscam part of the GSR crowd is all upset Grissom hugs another female
misscam then there are some going "but what he has with Sara is much more significant! They've held hands! Twice in six years!"
misscam and I'm like "HAH! We had more hand-holding in the first DW ep than that!"
lotus79 lol
lotus79 omg NO! He *hugged* another woman? Infidelity!!!!!1111eleventyone

An oy vey:
'It's our customers who decide to buy our T-shirts and support these groups', says group making t-shirts with logos of militant groups

A 'how dare you assume pregnancy tests in my fic works like in real life!':
Yes, on some pregnancy tests, one line would indicate that she wasn't pregnant, but I made up the test used in the story, meaning that one pink line could mean she is pregnant.

Comments

[roguem.livejournal.com]

*blinks* o.O

[evilstorm.livejournal.com]

Jackie beating up the Doctor--HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA THAT IS PRICELESS.

Man, you find a lot of stupidity. Where the hell d'you get all this? *has become pretty good at avoiding it*

[briasoleil.livejournal.com]

I'm convinced that the CSI fandom is full of stupid, judgmental people. Along with lots of great, wonderful people. But yeah.

And really, I must be the only female on earth who doesn't consider William Pedersen to be attractive.

Also, no one should ever have to deal with an im conversation such as the one you went through. Oy. Vey. I feel for you.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

I hunt.

[evilstorm.livejournal.com]

*snrk* Isn't it better not seeing it? So that, y'know, blood pressure doesn't go through the roof.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

CSI fandom isn't too different from other fandoms. Most have the batshit. Some fandoms just get them louder than others, alas. And I think frustration with the show - which I d feel myself - has just made people go a little mad of late.

Not the only one - I quite like Grissom, but I don't really fancy him that much. I fancy his brain quite a bit.

Hah, I've had worse. Back when I was on ICQ, I used to have Turkish boys hit on me all the time in the most stupid ways imaginable. Often with 'u com visit me in Turkey, yes?'

Yeah, sure. If I'm travelling all the way to Turkey for a shag, it better be Christopher Eccleston or Colin Firth or someone in that league I'm getting, you know what I'm saying?

[misscam.livejournal.com]

But then I wouldn't bring you all this entertainment.

[evilstorm.livejournal.com]

That is also true. Hmhm. You saying that you dig out this stuff just to keep us amused?

[misscam.livejournal.com]

I am a very giving person.

You know, when I'm not a mocking one.

[evilstorm.livejournal.com]

Indeed. I think I like you better mocking, though. Just, y'know, because.

[briasoleil.livejournal.com]

That's true. I've just had more on-hands experience with the stupid, judgmental side of the CSI fandom. Though, I've been around enough batshit crazy West Wing fans.

See? I get the whole textuality of Grissom/Sara, but the endless bout of UST and the many hangups of Grissom leave me wanting a Sara/Warrick/Greg threesome.

For some reason, I really want to travel to Turkey, but not necessarily for the boys.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

I shall mock extra hard for you next time.

[evilstorm.livejournal.com]

♥

[scarlettgirl.livejournal.com]

For taking one for the team, we salute you.

::salute::

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Yeah - since I lurk at f-w, all I tend to see of HP fandom is the batshitness, so that's certainly coloured my perception of it. But I know there are sane fans out there too.

Hee! Now there would be a threesome. Personally, I think Warrick and Greg should also smack some sense into Grissom - shaggingly, if so needed.

No indeed - pretty country, a lot of sleazy men. At least so say the Norwegians I know who've been there. I'm sure there's lovely men there too, they just don't seem to go after the Scandinavians as much.

[cadiliniel.livejournal.com]

Lol, you're on the GSR-Yahoo group too? It amuses me no end. I'd be quite happy to see Lady Heather again! And the big reaction to what scullyseviltwin said made me do lots of the LOLing.

[speshulduck.livejournal.com]

Whoa. That Jackie-beats-the-Doctor-up is a beautiful exercise in WTFness. Looks like capslock!Harry has been giving lessons again.

"The Daleks are dancing the conga" muttered the Doctor.

[giggles]

When they all had their mugs of tea Rose started to explain what had happened, leaving out the part where she and the Doctor had made love on the sand...

[giggles more]

"Rose?"
Rose turned.
"Yes Doctor?"
"I love you two"

[dies from hilarity]

[wendymr.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I've been reading that fic too. It's like a train wreck - I just can't look away. I mean, look at this, from the summary. Isn't it just amazing?

A squeal to Healing the Wounds.

I've been so tempted to post feedback and ask whether she's stopped squealing yet.

And this:

It has Jackie in AND she sees Rose covered in cuts and bruises! Hope I do it justice!

Umm... someone's just a tad sadistic here, aren't they?

Brilliant stuff. Deserves a Dalek or two.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Yes.

And boy, I missed the "squeal" bit. Dear oh dear. Should the fic be read with earplugs, then?

[misscam.livejournal.com]

I look forward to the next chapter, finding out more about Rose's other personality.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Yes, though I rarely read it these days. But I'm there, should anything amusing or interesting occur.

The reaction was just a weeeeee bit overblown. Just a tad. *eyeroll*

[misscam.livejournal.com]

*stands to attention*

Just sound the Batshit signal, and I am there.

[speshulduck.livejournal.com]

See, I was thinking it was the nostalgia_lj route and that he was referring to the fact that he loves both Rose and Jackie. Then we can have wangst from Rose about it and the Doctor being repentant about it in the end and then more sex on the beach. Anything that leads to more sand in inconvenient places for our heroes is okay by me!

[boz4pm.livejournal.com]

Um... *blinks at the stupidity* Oh-KAY, then. O_o

I like the 'tiny, weenie, could-not-make-it-much-shorter-if-I-tried Jackie randomly thwapping the Doctor' thing. That was very silly. Very wrong and very silly. *awards it the gold prize for stupidfic*

And sinister flaming by CSI nerds? Ah. That's not scary at ALL on a scale of 'What the HELL?!'

I also think I am blinded by the lack of upper case letters in that other thing. It's horrible. Enough to give anyone a migraine.

I have a question about CSI, and it would seem you are the one to ask. I always miss it so have only ever seen a few episodes or half episodes. I like it, but whenever I watch it Grissom (sp?) is deeply odd. Is he always like this? There was one where he was collecting bugs. He wasn't involved in the cases that episode I don't think, it was just him and loads of bugs in a jar. Then there was the one about illegal sex-change ops in which there was all SORTS of frisson, knowing looks and nudge-nudge type looks when he went to a transvestite/trans-gender bar - like he felt at home/knew all about it. Then the other week there was one with a BDSM madam where he definitely seemed to understand how it all worked and was on the point of starting something with her (though as master or slave was never established), but then he had to arrest her (though it turned out she was innocent) so he completely blew his chances.

All in all a very interesting, dark character.

Not quite sure what my point is, but I suppose I am asking: he is always like this? Or have I just managed, in the few episodes I've seen, to see the few where he's really quite odd or there's implications of a very unusual sexuality to him?

[sekhmets-temple.livejournal.com]

A Doctor Who fanfic:

Looks like they've taken lessons from Capslock!Harry in Order of the Phoenix.

And as for the rest, just, er...no. ::is scared:: However, I must admire your intestinal fortitude in seeking out and reading these things.

[siraj.livejournal.com]

IM: *snerk* I thought those dipshits died out! I guess a few are still around...

Gary: stalker... *backs away*

Upper case: *facepalms* my internal English fanatic is screaming right now.

GSR: WAHAHAHA!!

Oy: ... Yeah, 'oy vey' sums that up nicely.


Wow... Just... Wow.

[siraj.livejournal.com]

That icon is yummy, and I now want to make a t-shirt that reads "Where did I leave my sonic screwdriver?"

[smalldiver.livejournal.com]

*Boggles*

Just when I think the internet can't get any more insane...

[unendingreverie.livejournal.com]

You think those fics are bad? This has got to be the worst LotR fic in the history of the world.

[sinneahtes.livejournal.com]

"not give just put on Display"

...someone is stupid. *nods*

I hate sex chat attempts, especially since they never change the subject once it's made clear they won't get what they want. (Next time I get asked for a nude photo, I'll be tempted to unpleasantly surprise them with a photo of something else.)

[(Anonymous)]

part of the GSR crowd is all upset Grissom hugs another female

Oy, do these people not realize they are over?
Yes, they like each other, but they're like a moth and a flame: they may love each other, but their love will destroy them if they get together.

[hadria.livejournal.com]

bwahaahah, icon!love!

[hadria.livejournal.com]

It's hard to believe that they're over when they were supposed to have sex ten episodes ago. *is still sad*

lmao at the analogy, though. BWAH.

[chem-nerd.livejournal.com]

Making love on the sand sounds extremely painful--of all the places I wouldn't want sand...

[adoraheatherly.livejournal.com]

ok dont worrie i am your friend how old u

Oh, I get that a lot and it creeps me out on so many levels. Babbling at me in a butchered form of English and trying to see me naked does not make anyone my "friend".

*cuddles her poor, violated native tongue and feeds it cookies*

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Is he always like this?

Pretty much!

Grissom tends to be defender and/or understander of subculture of the week, it seems at times. And he does love his bugs.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Just as long as Jackie doesn't get in on the fun of it too.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

I like a good challenge, I do.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

They are around - I've had two of them in three weeks. Hmpf.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Oh... dear. Utter ignorance of Canon, yay! But still - I have read worse.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Single track mind, yay.

Or not.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

You wouldn't be trying to stir up a shipperwar in my LJ, right miss WI?

Though admiteedly, the "Grissom and Sara together will be bunnies and fluffies and picket fences 4EVA!" attitude annoys me to no end. Get a whiff of reality. Most relationships are messy in their own way - that's the interesting aspects to explore.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Yes, that "seeing you naked" requirement must've sneaked into friendship while I wasn't watching. Don't these things have to be run via the UN?

*feeds it biscuits and tea*

[siraj.livejournal.com]

*facepalms and offers chocolate and shinees in compensation*

[highwindpav.livejournal.com]

::looks at Talk CSI link or whatever, reads what mods said::

scullyseviltwin's post was public, not public domain, nitwits. She has tacit copyright to anything she posts, so no, you don't get to quote her and cause her trouble without asking.

[fightinghand.livejournal.com]

The scene where Jackie whales on the Doctor should be included in Season 2.