Advice for life in fandom (Or how to avoid turning into fandom_wank repeat offender)

[misscam]

Advice for life in fandom, LJ version
(Or how to avoid turning into fandom_wank repeat offender)
as advised by Mama Cam

With thanks to lotus79 for being my sanity in fandom.

1. Before you join a comm, read the rules. This might sound fairly basic, but is easy to forget in your excitement over finding people who like what you like. The rules are good. The rules are how you don't get the mod's boot firmly in your behind. The rules are how you don't annoy other posters to the point where they make a voodoo doll out of you. Avoid the pins. Read the rules.

2. Fanfic is shiny. But we all have a preference for what kind of shine we like. Some like it kinky, some like it hot, some like it with the blinds down. If you label your fic, it's easier for people who like what you write to spot it, rather than skipping it out of annoyance. Rating, summary, spoilers if applicable, all these are good, good things to tell your readers ahead, and they can get the proper shades on.

3. People don't owe you a good review just because you posted your fic. In fact, this is vital to keeping your fandom cool. You're not entitled all good reviews. Sometimes, you wrote less than your best. Sometimes, you made a mistake. People can point this out. People can leave concrit. You post in public, you get reviews in public, and learn to take them without a whinge. You might feel that people shouldn't review unless they have something nice to say, but others disagree, and their opinion is just as valid. Unless a comm or an archive have a specific policy on reviews not being critical, learn to deal. Because you will keep getting them, and the more tantrums you throw, the more likely you are to alienate readers. Not every critisism might be helpful, but some certainly are, so *learn to deal*.

3b. If you find yourself incapable of the advice above, at least note that you would prefer no crit. You'll still get it, because unless it's your comm, you don't make the rules, but people will at least know then it's a sore point with you.

4. A concrit and a flame are two different things. People tend to draw the line differently, but here's Mama Cam's rule of thumb - a flame goes after the author, concrit goes after the fic. "This fic is horrid because blah, blah and blah" might be harsh, but it can still be concrit. "You suck hairy goatballs" might be truthful, but it can still be a flame.

4b. Don't be the author who cried flame, flame. For one thing, the less fuss you make about it in the first place, the less likely you are to give the flamer what he or she wants, and thus they'll move on. Also, since people draw that line differently, some will think you're making a fuss over concrit you just don't want to acknowledge. Sometimes, that might even be true. When a real nasty undisputable flame comes along, you might be grateful you haven't had a whingefest at a mere critical remark and worn sympathy thin.

5. When a mod tells you to do something, do it. Don't get defensive off the bat and start an argument. A mod usually has a lot to do, and if he or she comes across a little shortly, maybe it's because it's the gazillionth time they've had to say it. If you have a concern, be friendly and contact the mod about it. Don't hash it out in public unless the mod has invited your concerns to be vented there. The mod is the mod. It's the mod's playground, and trying to bully the mod is a bit like trying to bully the principal. You might think it is's going splendidly until you stand outside, blinking in the sun, wondering just how you got expelled. (Of course, mods, like principals, also come in the asshat category from time to time, but that's life for you.)

6. Manners. Hoo boy, manners. The moment you go online manners do not in fact cease to exist. If you ask a favour, it's still polite to add a 'please'. If someone does your favour for you, it's still polite to say 'thank you'. If you've acted like a brainless twit on chipmunk-speed, it's still polite to apologise when your senses return. If you interact with people, it's still polite to assume they're humans and don't like to be insulted, bitched at, nagged and might in fact perfer if you waited a bit with the affectionate names.

7. Be sane about your 'ship. Please. A 'ship/OTP preference can be a bit like a preference for gum flavour. It doesn't always follow any logic except that it leaves a nice aftertaste. So ranting at someone about the inherent wrongness of minty flavour or Ten/Rose and trying to convert them to blueberry and Nine/Rose, that can make you see just a taaaaaad batshit. Some people are fond of trying several flavours. Some stick to one. It's not a personal insult to you, it's not a personal insult against fandom and the Universe, so please, learn to breathe and untangle the twist your pants appear to be in.

8. Don't assume - ask. If you spot an icon you like, or a fic you want on your achive or a fic you want to write a sequel to, don't assume the creator will just be totally fine and flattered by it (unless so has already been stated). Ask. Most of the time, they will indeed be flattered. But by asking, you spare yourself a lot of drama for when someone might not be. Also see 6, manners, manners, manners. And don't forget to credit.

9. Everyone's new to something at some point. Which means that when oldies are giving you advice, they're not always trying to put you down or be elitist and bitchy. Sometimes, they just want you not to be as big an asshat as they were when wee. Sometimes, they're still asshats. That's no excuse for you to be.

10. Pissing contests might seem fun at first, but boy do they leave a stink. So, you have been around longer than dinosaurs. You needn't mention this in every comment you ever make. So, your fic got a higher number of reviews than the US deficit. Yay you. You needn't use that as a certified stamp of your awesomeness. So, you know every fact of your show and can categorise them alphabetically. You needn't think this should mean everybody should listen to you always. So, you can quote entire episodes. That doesn't mean you have to think yourself Queen and get into war with everyone else who think themselves Queen and leave stains all over fandom. You'll ruin all the carpets, and worst of all, people might decide they'd rather avoid your castle, all things considered, thanks for the invitation still.

10b. Mama Cam offers use of the wankshelter for all castle-fleeing folk. Mind the stairs.

11. Learn to agree to disagree. And by that I don't mean agree to disagree, then make snide remarks about the disagreeing party, act all surprised when called upon it by disagreeing party, have another fight with insults, issue ultimatum to all who are friends with both to choose one or be friend no more, make yet more snide remarks, alienate friends and snigger with minions, nurse grudge and end up on fandom_wank to be mocked. Learn to agree to disagree with some respect and sanity, or don't do it at all.

12. So, you don't like a character. You're not required to. However, just because you hate the character, doesn't mean everyone else will. And if you start character bashing, you will offend these people. And heck, sometimes with good reason. Saying "Sara is such a slut!" is not okay. Writing fics just so she will be demeaned and hated by all just because she might get in the way of your OTP is just not cool. Sure, you can do it, but if you want to be a twat, don't come crying when people resent you for being a twat. Just because you can jam your nuts in the door doesn't mean you have to, yeah?

13. Learn to laugh about things. Seriously. It will save you so much grief, whinging and tantrums. Fandom is fun, fandom is silly. That doesn't mean you can't also take it seriously, but if you treat every aspect of it as Serious Business, you're going to lose your mind. And minds are so hard to find again, truly.

Comments

[boz4pm.livejournal.com]

*applauds* *saves to Memories* *heads off to link to this on her LJ and thus let the message be spread*

Couldn't have said it better myself. Thankfully, in my one fandom (LOTR) I've not really come across 'shippiness' and the batshit insanity that ensues as a consequence, though I have a feeling things can get a little heated in the slashy corners of the LOTR world ("What do you mean Glorfindel/Erestor is the OTP of Imladris?! It's Glorfindel/Elrond every time, baby!" "Pfff! Glorfindel/Elrond is for idiots! It's Elrond/Gil-Galad and Glorfindel/Elladan/Elrohir. EVERYONE knows that!" etc). I am relatively new to my newest possible fandom (Saiyuki) and have yet to brave the ship fics to see what horrors lie within, but somehow I suspect those who favour the more unorthodox pairings may well get very rabid about it. I may well need to take you up on point 10b as a consequence. I'll keep you posted, but keep a hot water bottle and a large tub of chocolate ice-cream on stand-by just in case, would you?

"You suck hairy goatballs" might be truthful, but it can still be a flame.
Bwahahahahahaha!

[elcalion.livejournal.com]

I have a feeling things can get a little heated in the slashy corners of the LOTR world ("What do you mean Glorfindel/Erestor is the OTP of Imladris?! It's Glorfindel/Elrond every time, baby!" "Pfff! Glorfindel/Elrond is for idiots! It's Elrond/Gil-Galad and Glorfindel/Elladan/Elrohir. EVERYONE knows that!" etc

That would be why I stay well away from the slashy corners of LoTR. And the slashy corners of any fandom, for that matter.

The only batshit OTP's I remember running foul of are in the depths of the Star Wars extended universe, mainly revolving around the sordid affairs of Han and Leia's kids ("No, Jaina isn't with Zekk. SHE'S WITH JAG, DAMMIT") and so forth... Ah, the extended Star Wars books. Sometimes far too soap-opera...

[msgenevieve.livejournal.com]

Given that I've just been browsing a few Who places and come across several of these things and rolling my eyes most heartily, all I can say is "Yeah, what she said!"

Some people really do make my face go all squishy with the effort not to shriek, "Shut up. Shut up. I cannot believe you do not shut up!" at my computer screen.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

I know exactly what you mean. Except I do shout it, because I have the subtly of a rock.

[jadekirk.livejournal.com]

YAY!! *applauds* I agree with everything said here. Do you mind if I link this in my journal so my non-who friends can see it as well?

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Not at all :)

[elcalion.livejournal.com]

Priceless! I only wish this were required reading for every newbie!

Pleased to say that I haven't really run foul of too much Ship issues to the extent that CSI and Doctor Who seem to have them, but nevertheless I agree with you wholeheartedly!

I'd link this (with your permission, naturally!), but I see boz has already and her flist would include pretty much all of mine (non-fandom friends excluded).

Many thanks for fighting the good fight against stupidity and fandom craziness wherever it is found!

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Some fandoms are more about the ships than others, really. LotR wasn't as much, CSI certainly is, Doctor Who is somewhere in the middle and HP is batshit about the ships. So, you know... It varies.

Also, for the record, you needn't ask if you want link stuff from my LJ. It's public access, so... Go for it whenever you feel like it.

Heh, thanks.

[lotus79.livejournal.com]

With thanks to lotus79 for being my sanity in fandom.

Aww! *clings*

[misscam.livejournal.com]

*clings back*

[cincoflex.livejournal.com]

Well said and heartily agreed with. The only despairing note is that so many of the fans who could use this reminder the best are also the most likely to either A) dismiss it, or B) see themselves as the exception to these oh-so-sensible suggestions.

However, I fully support your valiant effort to keep fighting the good fight!

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Mmm. Quite probably. Especially on B there. Ooooh yes. It's amazing how blind humans can be on their own behaviour.

However, we can always live in hope that at least pointing some of it out might make some think about their behaviour and all.

Heck, it made me think about my own a bit and what I could work to be better on.

[drakyndra.livejournal.com]

Hurrah, the sweet smell of sanity! *loves*

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Smells a bit like apples, don't you think?

[maureenlycaon.livejournal.com]

What you said! Well-put.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

:) Thanks.

[spaced-oddity.livejournal.com]

So true and well put! It's painful to see how utterly oblivious and ignorant some members of the Doctor Who fandom are. I can understand if they're trying to learn, but when they act unnecessarily defensive in response to people who are trying to help, it's terribly frustrating.

[stlchik512.livejournal.com]

*claps wildly* Wonderful! Should be required reading before ever touching a fanfic or forum! Fight the wankers, full speed ahead.

[yattara.livejournal.com]

You speak a lot of truth, [Unknown site tag] and lotus79.

*puts it in her memories to save herself from ever becoming f_w-material.*

Because I rather like my current amount of sanity, I do.

[yattara.livejournal.com]

Stupid html. I meant misscam

[chunkylimes.livejournal.com]

Cam for Fan President 06!

Also, can we put something in about not lording it over people that you've been in The Fandom X amount of years longer?

[yattara.livejournal.com]

Isn't that covered under point 10?

[padawanpooh.livejournal.com]

*applauds*

Spot on!!!!

Huzzah for wank-whackers I say ;-D

*mems*

[highwindpav.livejournal.com]

Wordy McWord of the Clan McWord for all of it, especially #2. I'd like to whack that over the heads of some people who seem to think their story is The Bestest Thing Ever and The Highest of Arts and doesn't need a summary or label for their fics because it offends their delicate sensibilities as arteeests. Nevermind the negative potential of driving readers off with a label or squicking them the hell out without, one might actually attract otherwise uninterested readers with a proper summary and label. Just because you know yourself to be all that and a bag of chips, doesn't mean everyone else knows and will simply flock to read because you wrote it and angels drop roses at your feet while singing hymns to your name.

I can only think of a handful of authors or reading material in the known universe that don't strictly need summaries or labels, mainly because the vast majority of every one knows that The Grapes of Wrath is not about angry produce and that Shakespeare is, well, Shakespeare. Fandom author, you are not Shakespeare. You need to label, rate, and summarize your fic. (Even Shakespeare needs summaries.)

[mittendorfer.livejournal.com]

All good sage advice *nods*

I also have a spare can of paint if the shelter ever needs a quick makeover.

[darksylvia.livejournal.com]

Excellent, and all true.

[scarlettgirl.livejournal.com]

13. Learn to laugh about things. Seriously. It will save you so much grief, whinging and tantrums. Fandom is fun, fandom is silly. That doesn't mean you can't also take it seriously, but if you treat every aspect of it as Serious Business, you're going to lose your mind. And minds are so hard to find again, truly.

This needs to be issued to every fangirl who wishes to earn her street cred. For serious, it's the internets people! Once you learn to laugh about things, including yourself you'll not only have big fun but gain the respect of fandom at large.

Asking for help, admitting you don't know something but are willing to learn, (like how to do a frakking lj-cut) and a quick apology when you've made a mistake will earn you big points. No one likes a whiner and people that threaten to pack up their toys and go home should be prepared for a big old bruise on their ass when the door hits them on the way out.

Excellent post Misscam, excellent post.

[commodorified.livejournal.com]

MOST excellent.

[lucia-tanaka.livejournal.com]

ranting at someone about the inherent wrongness of minty flavour or Ten/Rose and trying to convert them to blueberry and Nine/Rose, that can make you see just a taaaaaad batshit.

That's the best metaphor I read all week.

And word to everything. Especially manners. It even annoys me when I'm the one being spoken to. (i.e. someone asks for a link to Blackpool and don't say thank you after someone complies)

And on 13: I think the creed of F_W sums it up best: Fandom is Fucking Funny.

Here, have an internet.

[rhipowered.livejournal.com]

psst. it's 'avoid', at the top.

Also, where did you get that picture in your icon, as I have not seen it before.

[kazaera.livejournal.com]

*applauds*

Word. So much word.

Especially to 7, although they're all brilliant advice. It's amazing how much wank you can avoid if you just stay out of the shipping stuff altogether... although come to think of it, that may also be on account of my backing down at the first sign of trouble and staying off main comms.

Seriously. Good advice. Although I think this should be common sense, but that's life.

[me2you.livejournal.com]

Just because you can jam your nuts in the door doesn't mean you have to, yeah?

Possibly the greatest piece of advice anyone ever gave anyone, ever.

[azarias.livejournal.com]

You post in public, you get reviews in public, and learn to take them without a whinge.

Oh, a-freaking-men. I hate reading criticism of my fics, and I love getting attention from people leaving comments, nad the one balances out the other which is why I still find ficcing fun. If you don't find it fun ... don't do it.

[everysecondtues.livejournal.com]

While I have yet to run into much wank or any of the problems as listed above for quite a while (which, I'm not certain if it's because of the fandoms I'm participating in, where I'm participating, or mass amounts of luck), I would still heartily agree with everything you've said. I wish everyone in fandom would take such words to heart.

[megpie71.livejournal.com]

*Applause*

This is the sort of stuff I was lucky enough to have my partner point out to me when I first started interacting on the Internet. I spent a bit of time on alt.fan.pratchett passing along this sort of info as well. It's the sort of thing everyone needs to know - basic nettiquette as learned by previous generations, passed along so that the incomers won't make fools of themselves.

As you mention, it's all about politeness - which is what this kind of post is a brilliant example of. Yeah, sure, it can be sorta fun to watch some poor little newbie trip over their feet... but it's better in the long run to offer them a guide rail.