misscam | Wherein Cam sees more CSI wank and rants about shipping

Got alerted to this by a friend of mine.

This is how inane CSI ship-arguments get

I don't give a fuck if William Petersen touch Jorja Fox in real life. What the hell? Before you reply to me with your dumbass comeback, read my post. You're bringing up shit that I didn't even talk about. And, incase you didn't notice, my post said "RESPECT GSR" not "RESPECT WILLIAMPETERSEN/JORJAFOXOMGZ" so just shut the fuck up. If you care to stop being a little bitch and actually use your real screen name, then maybe I'll actually take you seriously.

Says a sockpuppet. The irony, it burns like a flaming thing.

I'm sure most of the GS fans are too busy laughing at your icons, because their ship is canon and you're acting like a jealous bitch.

Actually, this one is busy wanting a drink.

But first - CAM'S CSI FANDOM GUIDELINES TO NOT BEING A SHIPPING ASSHAT (may apply to other fandoms too):

*Disclaimer: Do not apply to all and will occasionally get broken by even the most sanest of shippers, for fandom lures a little batshit out of anyone.

1) You never speak for your whole ship, so stop acting like official spokesperson. Just because someone shares your like of a particular couple does not mean they share your like of being an obnoxious twat. Okay?

2) Your ship is in fact NOT superior to anyone else's. It may be more Canon, have hotter people involved, have better quality fanfic or whatever else you want to credit it with, but it's still fictional people you rather like as a couple just like other shippers like other fictional people as a couple.

3) Do not make blanket statements about any other group of shippers like "anyone who likes Ecklie and the Sheriff must have bad footsmell!" or "you'd only ship Hodges/Vartan if you have no life and go on the Jerry Springer show!" For one, they're often not true. For two, even if some of it is true, there are exceptions. For three, it makes you look immature and who knows, maybe someone will be using you as an excuse to make blanket statements about your ship, and you don't want that, do you?

Also, for four, give me a fucking break. No, I mean it. A vacation from batshittery would be sweet for a while.

4) You do not know why people like a particular ship. You may have theories, but you don't know unless you've gone and asked all of them. Therefore, don't assume. People who ship Grissom and Sara need not have daddy issues, and people who ship Grissom and Catherine need not be having daughter issues. Clear?

5) Character bashing is the dreck at the bottom of the barrel of ship arguments. It leaves a nasty smell in your mouth and the smell stays for monts. Because how you feel about a fictional character - say Sara - is not how others feel about her, not even other fictional characters - say Grissom. Because you are you and not anyone else. So if you hate Sara, that is only really relevant to why you'd prefer Grissom not to shag her and not why the world will end omg if he does in the show.

And keep it out of fanfics too, for !lo, it makes the fanfic smell of poo-poo.

6) A ship is not a religion. You do in fact not need to convert people to save their fandom soul.

7) There is no shame in not defending the glory of your ship omg at every turn. Your ship is fictional. It will survive being insulted, and you can spend time writing naughty things or some such instead. Not every shipping war needs to be fought. Fandom can always entertain itself elsewhere.

8) Another group of shippers being gitty is not an excuse for you to be. Really. Really, really, really. You don't actually need to sink to their level. It's not like fandom is crying out for more asshats and a bag of chips, please.

9) People who don't like your ship may actually be nice people. Yes, I know. Quite shocking. But you need not test this theory by seeing how much of an asshat you need to be before they snap. Yes, even nice people can lose their temper. This does not mean you were right in thinking they were all horrid, horrid people all along.

10) Manners, manners, manners. Think of them. They think of you. Nekkid and wanking without them. It makes them sad.

Now, free drinks in the wankshelter bar for any who is not a shipping asshat. What's your pleasure?

Current Mood: predatory
Current Location: at work