Notes on Monday, a bit of wank and a BNF meme

[misscam]

Why do the boss reward your efficiency and fast work with extra tasks? Because that's apparently my reward, to update databases. Ah well, is only out this week and they're apparently extremely pleased with me, so yay.

Then there was a huge downpur of rain just as I got off the train and was about to bike home. As a result, I was soaked. Thank you, weathergods. You're ever so kind. All this biking probably does me good, though. Exercise in the morning and exercise in the afternoon. Work inbetween.

Looking forward to getting some serious time to write again, though. I am slowly poking away at "An Adventure in Norway" (which dragonlp86 made me an icon for, as she is made of awesome) and a few others ones. It goes, but free time will be sweeeeet again. Mmm. Writing and sleeping in.

Meanwhile, our C2 gal feels unloved and people are meeaannnn. How inventive. Bored now.

Hmmm, do I sense a bit of tension over the "vote! VOTE for David Tennant!" spamming? Hmmm. Just a tad? Hmm-hmm. Yes, I do. And then it got its own comm.

Cassie Claire debacle goes on. It's not on the same WTF scale as the tale of MsScribe, but it tells you quite a few things about fandom all the same. I did thing about a meta post on it all, but everyone's opinioning on it at the moment and so much have already been said. Form your own ideas.

But for fun - predict yourself as a BNF meme: What would cause wank? What would be the biggest complain about your minions? What would be the title of your 170-paged-epic and what famous author would you be declared better than, omg? What fandom vendetta would you have with me? Or others? Feel free to add other fun details as well.
(If you are a BNF already, predict yourself as Gigantic Name Fan and the sole Queen of fandom.)

In the news:
Evolution reversed in mice
Testomonies given in US rape case in Iraq
Wolves give locals a fright
Labor most funny in Norwegian Parliament
Bottle reply after 40 years
TV slur gets commentator sacked

Comments

[puredeadthingy.livejournal.com]

What would cause wank--Me enabling so many people to a small love of mine that the small love turns into a huge corporation or, if it were a band, someone sleeps with the drummer and has his kid.
My minions would--Write into newspapers plugging me
Title of my 170-page epic--The One Where Everyone Gets The Gay
Fandom vendetta--OMG Cam, ur massproducing ur fic, everyone knows you have to wait a few months for a new chappie if u want it to be gud.
Slow death of popularity--I'd troll F_W and have a techie minion bring JF down for a whole day.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Hee. That would surely be a way to make f_w bring about your slow fandom death. They're good at that.

[puredeadthingy.livejournal.com]

It's why I love them.

That and their icons.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

I have found many gold icons via fandom_wank, that's for sure.

[dragovianknight.livejournal.com]

I think I want to marry your icon and have its babies.

[sc-angel72.livejournal.com]

God, the idea of being a BNF is absolutely terrifying, even in theory. I already have enough issues with my brain-to-fingers filter. I'd never be able to say anything for fear of stirring up wank.

Still, could my vendetta be more general? Like... erm... persecuting poor fangirls who I don't know me and tag me for mindless memes on a regular basis? *looks innocent* It could be like a public service deal.

That may have been another brain-to-fingers issue. I'm not sure. *ponders*

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Ah, but BNFhood often do come with fangirls willing to defend your every word. Which often is the wank, come to think of it. Stand for what you think, but be willing to admit you could be wrong seems to work for some.

Your vendette can certainly be more general - sounds like it's already in effect ;)

[dreams-of-him.livejournal.com]

(If you are a BNF already, predict yourself as Gigantic Name Fan and the sole Queen of fandom.)

As I am already Empress of the Universe, such minor titles hold no interest for me *cough*

Meanwhile, our C2 gal feels unloved and people are meeaannnn. How inventive. Bored now.

I am always surprised (and I shouldn't be) that people who behave in an asshat-ish fashion are so !shocked! and !horrified! and !hurt! when the masses ravage them for their asshattery. Happens.Every.Time.

Every time I am tempted to snark, I remember something my Mom said to me once when I was a kid, "Don't write anything down that you wouldn't want to see on the front page of the newspaper."

The truth of these wise words was brought home to me in high school when my first serious boyfriend, Ed, sent me a break-up-with-you note that was...how shall I say this?...florid bordering on hysterics. I read that note out loud in the hallway all day to anyone who would listen (and quite a few who had to hear me because I was pretty loud).

OK. I was 15. I apologized later. But the fact remains, he should never have written any of that stuff down...just like Mama said.

Sorry you got wet. Hope you're dry now :)

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Quite frankly, that reaction was so over the top it smelled like troll to me. Of course, I've seen genuine huffs like that too, so you never know.

Quite mean of you - but did make the point exactly ;) And the web is posting to a public place, something not everyone seems to act like.

[dreams-of-him.livejournal.com]

Well, so you have your own personal troll...doesn't have quite the same cachet as fanclub, does it? ;) Where are the three billy goats gruff when you need them.

It was mean of me. I was 15 and I did apologize, and I would never do anything so heinous today.

[maramyanet.livejournal.com]

Hi, just wanted to say that I love your fanfics and they're definitely worth the wait. You're post are always interesting especially the other bits of news attached at the bottom...but I've got a question. What's wank?

Perhaps I'm the only one who doesn't know, but what does it mean? : D

[misscam.livejournal.com]

As fandom wank defines it:
Self-aggrandizing posturing. Fannish absurdities. Circular ego-stroking. Endless flamewars. Pseudointellectual definitions.

In many ways, it's become fandom stupidity in various ways.

And thanks.

[beck-liz.livejournal.com]

Why do the boss reward your efficiency and fast work with extra tasks?

Because they're cruel? *sigh* So annoying when they do that.

Meanwhile, our C2 gal feels unloved and people are meeaannnn.

Wow. I've seen 12-year-olds with a higher maturity level. My basic response is, "Do we care?" Because I'm sooooo meaaaaannnn. Heh.

Also, I can appreciate that people are excited about Tennant being in the running (for whatever it is), but I am tired of so many posts urging people to vote. *eyeroll* Thank goodness for my scroll button.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

We're so meaaaaaaaaannnnn we care not one lick. Spank us.

I got a bit fed up with them too - point taken already and it's a poll that lasts a full month. A full month of that many posts? Bit much.

[greyladybast.livejournal.com]

Spank you? Ok!

[dune-drd.livejournal.com]

I would ask them to buy me stuff. DUNE NEEDS MERCHANDISE! *cough* Ahem, sorry. I fear my minions would be as penniless as me

[misscam.livejournal.com]

You'd have to lure in some rich ones. Bait your traps.

[dune-drd.livejournal.com]

But how do you attract the rich ones without copying large sections of books and pasting them into your fic? *scratches head*

[dune-drd.livejournal.com]

Also: AAAAAH; not them again! *Runs away screaming from the mice Hox-genes*

[misscam.livejournal.com]

You may have to do research into what else they like.

[dune-drd.livejournal.com]

uhhhmm.... money?

[harmonyfb.livejournal.com]

Dunno if I'm a BNF, but I've already had Big Wank. Couple of years back, I opined that teenyboppers shouldn't read my porn (not just as a mom, but because it's illegal here in the States). Cue tempest. How dare I rain on their hormonal parade! Etc.

So if I was a GNF...::taps chin:: Oh, hell if I know, but I'm sure it would have to do with the Alpha Bitches (see icon - crevette, telaryn, peacockharpy, tinne, collumella, beeber2, and me).

[starsong24.livejournal.com]

If I was a BNF...

People would wank about my lack of toleration for swearing and blasphamy in fanfic, the way I don't socialise much, and my opinion that some things may be unpleasant but they also need to be acknowledged.

People would (I hope) complain about my minion's tendancy to defend me.

170-page epic? 'The Stars on the Waves'. Or, if this is original fiction mixed with fanfic, 'The Day that England Burned'. It would involve a Christian meetup, the Middle East invading Britain and starting a terror regime, Apache helicoptors, and PPC HQ. Also Author Powers and hymns.

Famous author...Tim Zahn?

Fandom vendetta...I don't think I would have one, actually.

Now, what would I write? Apart from aforementioned epic --which would be /very/ complicated --I imagine I'd write sex. Orgies, threesomes, M/M, F/F, BDSM...anything.

[starsong24.livejournal.com]

Oh, and I'd also write complicated adventure fantasy with torture and moral queries and philosophy.

As to how I'd deal with wankers...roll my eyes, probably get depressed, and then ask why they thought I cared.

[boz4pm.livejournal.com]

The idea of being a BNF scares the crap out of me. I sincerely hope it never happens.

However, if I were to start writing Who fanfic and thus cross into your fandom...?

What would cause wank?
The fact that I would insist on writing 'twelth incarnation of The Doctor' fic.

What would be the biggest complain about your minions?
That they were completely insane - how could anyone seriously consider Tom Cruise as a possible future incarnation? That, and the rabid 'other incarnation' bashing that would go on.

What would be the title of your 170-paged-epic and what famous author would you be declared better than, omg?
'Endgame: The One Where He FINALLY Dies' and I would be declared better than Barbara Cartland liek woah!

What fandom vendetta would you have with me?
That you limit yourself to canon incarnations and logical plots when you could branch out and make up stuff as you go along. Who says Gallifreyans don't have three penises?

[dragovianknight.livejournal.com]

*sigh* Little Wanker isn't even TRYING to make it good for the rest of us. "Sniff sniff y'all are mean boo-hoo." I wanked better than that in kindergarten.

[ibardicus.livejournal.com]

BNF?

[starsong24.livejournal.com]

Big Name Fan. Someone who writes fanfc, is a generally well-known and respected author...

[robin-2370-hood.livejournal.com]

I could never be a BNF. I'm much to lazy to deal with all the work that entails. There's also the fact that I have a very short attention span. However, if, because of some unforeseen circumstances, I become a BNF then

1. The wank would be caused by my stories seeming very ADD. The plot would only make sense to me, or if it came with an instruction manual that detailed how all the random things happened that makes it seem not so random. (for instance: in this scene the author was watching tv, she decided to do the crossover because she thought there was something that needed to be said, and she didn't want to go to that fandom to say it) And most of my stories wouldn't have an ending, or they would, but it would be voted upon by the readers and written by someone else.

2. My minions would all be called out for drug use and mental illness, unfortunately, in most of the cases it would be true.

3. My 170 page epic would be mostly stolen from the Bible, and then reworked for my purposes.

4. People would say that I was better than Moses, until someone corrected them by telling them that Moses didn't write the Bible, and then wank would ensue.

5. Our famous vendetta would be my stealing from the Bible. It would be incredibly obvious (I would leave in things, like the name Jesus every so often). Of course I would deny it, as any good plagiarist would, but eventually I would admit to it, and then leave the fandom.

Of course this is all hypothetical. *goes off to read the Bible*

[saturnianali8r.livejournal.com]

Yay for more Adventure in Norway.

I had a very interesting time reading the Cassie Claire craziness. I love the Harry Potter books, but I'm not in the ships that get a lot of wanks.

I know that I could never be a BNF. I don't have anything (I think) that makes me extraordinary enough like any writing talent, or I could always just be a plagiarizer and that could make it into wank.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_tallian_/]

Hox gene story - interesting. But why do they always seem to leave out the most interesting part: what does the gene change do to the mouse??

grumble

[juliejordan.livejournal.com]

I've not started reading the Cassie stuff on bad_penny yet. When I read the Msscribe farce it took me DAYS to get through the damn thing so I'm bracing myself.

And if I was a BNF, people would totally think I was better than JJ Abrams, 'cause dude, my AU take on Kate/Sawyer? Should be totally Canon because it's oh so much better that they were romantically invovled before the plane crash yada, yada.

*giggles at the thought*

Oh, I'd hate to be a BNF. All those batshit crazy fangirls...I seriously would be horribly embarrassed if anyone behaved the way over my work like the Cassie Claire fans act over CCs fanfics. To have people like THAT worship you? I'd rather remain as unknown as I am now.

[piaffe.livejournal.com]

I think hell would freeze over before I became a BNF. It's such a scary and way-out thought, I can't even imagine what might happen :)

My younger sister introduced me to Cassie Claire's stories way back when I was first dipping my toes in the pools of fandom. I thought they weren't too bad, but I've never been that deep into the HP fandom to know all the goings on.

I heartily sympathise. My writing muse seems to have decided to take long service leave, and has refused to leave contact details :p

It's been raining like crazy over here too - but we seriously need it (people have been saying that it's been the driest winter this year), so I put up with it.