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misscam(Yeah, I know. I'm supposed to be writing Doctor Who fic. Ooops?)
Stale Toothpaste (And Other Problems of Love)
by Camilla Sandman
Summary: Grissom snores. Sara leaves the toothpaste cap unscrewed. [GSR]
Disclaimer: The characters of CSI belong to CBS. I just borrow for some fun.
Rating: Vaguely Teen/PG-13. Some references to adult activities, nothing at all explicit.
Author's Note: Spoilers for "Way to Go". Set at some undetermined period before, after or during, depending on how you interpret the relationship. Thanks to Saz for looking over.
II
Grissom snores.
Sara doesn't notice this the first time she sleeps with him, all hurried pace and fumbled touches and years of want colliding and the echoes reverberating in her skin so loudly she could hear nothing else. She doesn't notice the second time, so intent on his mouth and all it might claim that she is spent after and sleeps dreamlessly.
The third time, then she notices. He kisses her on the mouth goodnight, but he sleeps and she thinks, at least until a noise burrows into her brain and camps out.
Grissom snores. Not dignified and not paced, suddenly becoming very quiet to the point where she thinks she might get some sleep, and then tearing into the silence with such noise it would've been better if there had been no pause at all. Then at least she wouldn't have to rediscover how annoying the sound is.
She has some violent fantasies involving smacking him with a pillow, but in the end, she lies awake in the night and listens. Listens until he rolls over and nuzzles his head against her shoulder and is finally, finally quiet and she thinks she might not have to murder him after all.
She makes sure she falls asleep first next time and dreams of steam trains.
II
Sara leaves the toothpaste cap unscrewed.
He doesn't mind a toothbrush moving into his bathroom, purple against his blue. He doesn't even mind that she sometimes uses the wrong one. After all, he does let his tongue explore her mouth, and it feels cruel to deny his toothbrush the same. But stale toothpaste he has to clean off before he can get to brushing his teeth, that he does mind.
He's never had a toothpaste waster in his house before. It feels almost like he's let in the enemy, an unbeliever of order and not-waste. He's got half a mind to convert her when he joins her in bed and is even considering what sermon would be most fitting.
Then she kisses him with her mouth still tasting of peppermint toothpaste, and when he slides his tongue across her teeth, she makes a noise at the back of her throat that demands all else be forgotten.
In the morning, he buys a new kind of toothpaste with a cap that opens and closes just by pushing and feels victorious.
At least until she keeps forgetting to close the cap after use.
II
Grissom sorts her magazines.
Sara finds it a little cute at first, and when he has to leave earlier than her for a case, the stack is the only reminder he was there, the sheets already cold. But soon she discovers he sorts by date and she sorts by name and she's grown used to remembering articles by where they're published and not when. It takes more time to track down articles she wants to re-read, and there's always at least one.
She considers saying something, but subtle hints work badly on Grissom and frank words feel uncomfortable on her lips. He wouldn't mind, she's sure, but he would be conscious of all he did at her place ever after and feel more like a ghost than a boyfriend.
If boyfriend is even the right word. She's not sure of Grissom's definition. She's not even sure of her own.
In the end, she leaves Post-Its marking pages she'd like to find again, and doesn't even mind that Grissom sometimes draws on them.
II
Sara never has any food.
The first time he stays over at her place, he can't sleep and Sara, as always, has fallen asleep before him. He doesn't wake her, but gets up to leaf through her forensic magazines by the TV, and eventually to hunt through her fridge.
There is only left-overs of fast food, "food" only in the loosest sense, and one lone bottle of water.
He drinks that and feels sorry for himself all the way to breakfast, when she takes him out and they share a meal in public, feeling conscious for every exchanged smile.
The second time, he smuggles food in and eats it while she showers, feeling stealthy all the while, at least until she kisses him and tastes the butter on his tongue.
II
Grissom wears silly shirts.
She doesn't really pay them much heed at first, more concerned with getting him out of clothes in general than what clothes he might put on after. But when the first intensity fades and becomes something more comfortable and almost quiet - sleeping together with actual sleep, touching each other without it being foreplay, kissing becoming familiar and habitual - then she wonders if she was blind earlier. (Perhaps the hat should've been a warning sign, but she ignored that.) His choices are certainly not subdued, not something she would expect of Grissom at all and she half wonders if he has an evil twin that has seduced her for some nefarious plot to take over the world of entomology and take revenge at the world of fashion at the same time.
In the dark of night, she dares think maybe he doesn't need an evil twin. He just might feel comfortable enough around her to share terrible shirts with her without fearing she'll walk away. It's enough to make her smile at him and even get a certain affection for them, in a sort of love-hate way.
She still keeps a pair of scissors sharp.
II
Sara is redecorating his bedroom.
Little things left at the dresser at first, nick-knacks moving into a neighbourhood of beetle specimens. Bedside table next, gaining some photographs and a vase. The bed gets a new little pillow and he decides to get a matching set, mostly for the symmetry. He feels almost at siege, under heavy bombardment of Sara-stuff and at war with his own desire to surrender.
If there's lace brought in, that'll be his Waterloo, he decides.
There is no lace. Instead, he gets her a bedside table, she gets stuff to put on it, and they get a lamp together.
II
Grissom is still careful with what he says.
For all the sex and all the time spent together, he still guards his mind carefully. She finds herself pushing him, invading his bedroom to see if he'll deny her, doing little things she knows will annoy him sometimes simply to see if he will say. If he'll say, then she'll know.
It's not love until they've had their first fight over a small, insignificant, annoying detail, she has decided. The big things - the secrecy, the problems their careers might be in, the future in general - those their relationship will be tested against soon enough. She'd like to know he dares test it.
She'd like to know she does too.
II
Sara loves him.
Sometimes, he almost hates her for it. It would be so much easier if she didn't, if it was just an inappropriate crush or issues of the past she tried to solve with his as avatar. Then he could ignore it, live the life he's used to be, be the Grissom he's used to, not having to adapt to another human being.
But she does love him, for everything else that might be at play. No one would endure his snoring without complaint if it wasn't love. He knows he snores well enough, has even taped himself at night in a sort of snore experiment to establish the truth. Sara says nothing.
He says nothing, remembering the tale of her parents and how they always fought. This is different. He wants her to know she is not her mother and he is not like her father and that end will not be their end. When she trusts that, then they can fight and make up and grow old together and breed award-winning cockroach racers.
He's quite sure love will be needed if she's to agree to the roaches.
II
Grissom loves her.
Sometimes, she almost hates him for it. It would be so much easier if he didn't, if he was just a thoughtless bastard who hurt her, some guy who liked her but not enough. Then she could move on, live a life she decided on, not having to adjust it to share with another human being.
But he does love her, for all he might have been a bastard about it. No one would stock her fridge with all vegetarian food to make sure she eats properly if it wasn't love. She knows he likes meat, has even seen him eat it happily in the past, but he never complains about the lack of it of her place.
That just leaves his place.
She's quite sure love will be needed if he's to agree to what she wants to do his fridge.
II
"Grissom?"
"Mmm?"
"You snore."
"You ruin my toothpaste."
"I'll buy you new."
"I'll buy you earplugs."
"Good."
"Sara?"
"Mmm?"
"How do you feel about racing roaches?"
FIN
Stale Toothpaste (And Other Problems of Love)
by Camilla Sandman
Summary: Grissom snores. Sara leaves the toothpaste cap unscrewed. [GSR]
Disclaimer: The characters of CSI belong to CBS. I just borrow for some fun.
Rating: Vaguely Teen/PG-13. Some references to adult activities, nothing at all explicit.
Author's Note: Spoilers for "Way to Go". Set at some undetermined period before, after or during, depending on how you interpret the relationship. Thanks to Saz for looking over.
II
Grissom snores.
Sara doesn't notice this the first time she sleeps with him, all hurried pace and fumbled touches and years of want colliding and the echoes reverberating in her skin so loudly she could hear nothing else. She doesn't notice the second time, so intent on his mouth and all it might claim that she is spent after and sleeps dreamlessly.
The third time, then she notices. He kisses her on the mouth goodnight, but he sleeps and she thinks, at least until a noise burrows into her brain and camps out.
Grissom snores. Not dignified and not paced, suddenly becoming very quiet to the point where she thinks she might get some sleep, and then tearing into the silence with such noise it would've been better if there had been no pause at all. Then at least she wouldn't have to rediscover how annoying the sound is.
She has some violent fantasies involving smacking him with a pillow, but in the end, she lies awake in the night and listens. Listens until he rolls over and nuzzles his head against her shoulder and is finally, finally quiet and she thinks she might not have to murder him after all.
She makes sure she falls asleep first next time and dreams of steam trains.
II
Sara leaves the toothpaste cap unscrewed.
He doesn't mind a toothbrush moving into his bathroom, purple against his blue. He doesn't even mind that she sometimes uses the wrong one. After all, he does let his tongue explore her mouth, and it feels cruel to deny his toothbrush the same. But stale toothpaste he has to clean off before he can get to brushing his teeth, that he does mind.
He's never had a toothpaste waster in his house before. It feels almost like he's let in the enemy, an unbeliever of order and not-waste. He's got half a mind to convert her when he joins her in bed and is even considering what sermon would be most fitting.
Then she kisses him with her mouth still tasting of peppermint toothpaste, and when he slides his tongue across her teeth, she makes a noise at the back of her throat that demands all else be forgotten.
In the morning, he buys a new kind of toothpaste with a cap that opens and closes just by pushing and feels victorious.
At least until she keeps forgetting to close the cap after use.
II
Grissom sorts her magazines.
Sara finds it a little cute at first, and when he has to leave earlier than her for a case, the stack is the only reminder he was there, the sheets already cold. But soon she discovers he sorts by date and she sorts by name and she's grown used to remembering articles by where they're published and not when. It takes more time to track down articles she wants to re-read, and there's always at least one.
She considers saying something, but subtle hints work badly on Grissom and frank words feel uncomfortable on her lips. He wouldn't mind, she's sure, but he would be conscious of all he did at her place ever after and feel more like a ghost than a boyfriend.
If boyfriend is even the right word. She's not sure of Grissom's definition. She's not even sure of her own.
In the end, she leaves Post-Its marking pages she'd like to find again, and doesn't even mind that Grissom sometimes draws on them.
II
Sara never has any food.
The first time he stays over at her place, he can't sleep and Sara, as always, has fallen asleep before him. He doesn't wake her, but gets up to leaf through her forensic magazines by the TV, and eventually to hunt through her fridge.
There is only left-overs of fast food, "food" only in the loosest sense, and one lone bottle of water.
He drinks that and feels sorry for himself all the way to breakfast, when she takes him out and they share a meal in public, feeling conscious for every exchanged smile.
The second time, he smuggles food in and eats it while she showers, feeling stealthy all the while, at least until she kisses him and tastes the butter on his tongue.
II
Grissom wears silly shirts.
She doesn't really pay them much heed at first, more concerned with getting him out of clothes in general than what clothes he might put on after. But when the first intensity fades and becomes something more comfortable and almost quiet - sleeping together with actual sleep, touching each other without it being foreplay, kissing becoming familiar and habitual - then she wonders if she was blind earlier. (Perhaps the hat should've been a warning sign, but she ignored that.) His choices are certainly not subdued, not something she would expect of Grissom at all and she half wonders if he has an evil twin that has seduced her for some nefarious plot to take over the world of entomology and take revenge at the world of fashion at the same time.
In the dark of night, she dares think maybe he doesn't need an evil twin. He just might feel comfortable enough around her to share terrible shirts with her without fearing she'll walk away. It's enough to make her smile at him and even get a certain affection for them, in a sort of love-hate way.
She still keeps a pair of scissors sharp.
II
Sara is redecorating his bedroom.
Little things left at the dresser at first, nick-knacks moving into a neighbourhood of beetle specimens. Bedside table next, gaining some photographs and a vase. The bed gets a new little pillow and he decides to get a matching set, mostly for the symmetry. He feels almost at siege, under heavy bombardment of Sara-stuff and at war with his own desire to surrender.
If there's lace brought in, that'll be his Waterloo, he decides.
There is no lace. Instead, he gets her a bedside table, she gets stuff to put on it, and they get a lamp together.
II
Grissom is still careful with what he says.
For all the sex and all the time spent together, he still guards his mind carefully. She finds herself pushing him, invading his bedroom to see if he'll deny her, doing little things she knows will annoy him sometimes simply to see if he will say. If he'll say, then she'll know.
It's not love until they've had their first fight over a small, insignificant, annoying detail, she has decided. The big things - the secrecy, the problems their careers might be in, the future in general - those their relationship will be tested against soon enough. She'd like to know he dares test it.
She'd like to know she does too.
II
Sara loves him.
Sometimes, he almost hates her for it. It would be so much easier if she didn't, if it was just an inappropriate crush or issues of the past she tried to solve with his as avatar. Then he could ignore it, live the life he's used to be, be the Grissom he's used to, not having to adapt to another human being.
But she does love him, for everything else that might be at play. No one would endure his snoring without complaint if it wasn't love. He knows he snores well enough, has even taped himself at night in a sort of snore experiment to establish the truth. Sara says nothing.
He says nothing, remembering the tale of her parents and how they always fought. This is different. He wants her to know she is not her mother and he is not like her father and that end will not be their end. When she trusts that, then they can fight and make up and grow old together and breed award-winning cockroach racers.
He's quite sure love will be needed if she's to agree to the roaches.
II
Grissom loves her.
Sometimes, she almost hates him for it. It would be so much easier if he didn't, if he was just a thoughtless bastard who hurt her, some guy who liked her but not enough. Then she could move on, live a life she decided on, not having to adjust it to share with another human being.
But he does love her, for all he might have been a bastard about it. No one would stock her fridge with all vegetarian food to make sure she eats properly if it wasn't love. She knows he likes meat, has even seen him eat it happily in the past, but he never complains about the lack of it of her place.
That just leaves his place.
She's quite sure love will be needed if he's to agree to what she wants to do his fridge.
II
"Grissom?"
"Mmm?"
"You snore."
"You ruin my toothpaste."
"I'll buy you new."
"I'll buy you earplugs."
"Good."
"Sara?"
"Mmm?"
"How do you feel about racing roaches?"
FIN
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-10-04 01:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-04 02:17 pm (UTC)*gets out spray can*
no subject
Date: 2006-10-04 02:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-04 02:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-04 02:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-04 01:56 pm (UTC)This was just perfect.
It's the opposite of all those 'true!love, kittens and babies and sunsets' pieces I've been reading ever since GSR became canon.
It's daily stuff, routine, getting used to each other's little quirks and it makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. Thank you.
*adds to memoires*
no subject
Date: 2006-10-04 02:24 pm (UTC)You know me. I am not great at the TWUWUB!kittens!babies!sunsets writing. I think this is about as fluffy as I manage, really. If it gets too sugary, I bail like heck. But to each their own sweet tooth, right?
Glad you liked, anyway :)
no subject
Date: 2006-10-04 02:12 pm (UTC)Breeding racing roaches, that is so Grissom.
no subject
Date: 2006-10-04 02:25 pm (UTC)Thanks :)
no subject
Date: 2006-10-04 05:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-04 03:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-05 12:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-04 05:21 pm (UTC)After all, he does let his tongue explore her mouth, and it feels cruel to deny his toothbrush the same.
Oh to be that toothbrush in his mouth...*sigh*
and she half wonders if he has an evil twin that has seduced her for some nefarious plot to take over the world of entomology and take revenge at the world of fashion at the same time.
That sounds like a really good story idea.
no subject
Date: 2006-10-05 12:56 pm (UTC)The evil twin bit was actually inspired by various wank theories. Never say the batshit ain't good for something ;)
no subject
Date: 2006-10-05 01:52 pm (UTC)No. Just a big fan of dental hygiene. Yeah, that's it.
no subject
Date: 2006-10-04 11:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-05 12:58 pm (UTC)Thanks!
no subject
Date: 2006-10-05 03:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-05 12:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-05 03:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-05 01:00 pm (UTC)Thanks!
no subject
Date: 2006-10-05 11:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-05 01:00 pm (UTC)I adore this line...It's perfect...
Date: 2006-10-05 11:37 pm (UTC)Just lovely...
ABS;)
Re: I adore this line...It's perfect...
Date: 2006-10-06 10:30 am (UTC)Re: I adore this line...It's perfect...
Date: 2006-10-06 05:15 pm (UTC)Cath/Warrick's ok...Not my fav, but some fics are pretty good...Actually, Cincoflex got me extremely hooked on Brass/LH...She's brill about it...I'd never thought of them as a couple, really...
To be honest, GSR doesn't so much bother me as I simply don't "get it" and Sara (the character, not Jorja Fox) bores me to tears...All I really knew as I watched was that Griss is quite the sexybowleggedsnugglebunny...Never paid anyone else much attention in regard to a "ship" for him...(Griss is, after all, my TV boyfriend...Not to be confused with Billy, Gina's husband...LOL)...But I now know the actual GSR ship makes my flesh crawl after talking to a few of the more...Um...rabid of thier collective ilk...Not all, but quite a few are, simply put, mad as hatters...No?
I still like the show...Still respect the actors...Still don't care for Sara...
ABS;)
Re: I adore this line...It's perfect...
Date: 2006-10-06 06:57 pm (UTC)Cinco's cool. She's on my flist, so you might see her about if you continue to hang around. And yeah, she writes gloriously twisty fics when she has a mind to. She started a bit of a LH/Brass fanon thing, really.
GSR, sadly, have the batshit, yes. I remember with great unfondness the fucking meltdown of some of them over Billy's comments about Lady Heather being a soulmate. Some people reacted like he'd run over their pet and then made a hat out of the remains to wear on the show. And some of the reactions after the finale from people in the GSR crowd got featured on my wankimplosion updates with much pointing and laughing. (Including *poetry*.) Yes. GSR certainly has the batshit. (And the pretensions and the twatty and the badfic and the bunny bunny heart heart and... Right. Doing a list could take all day.)
But really, every ship group in CSI fandom have some truly batshit examples. I mean, I found a group that genuinely believe Eric and George have a secret relationship and are kept in the closet by CBS. Then you have babydoll and her epic 12-page letter to Carol Mendelhson and why Cath and Nick are twuwub forever (she is sadly also a GSR shipper, which believe me, pains me to the point of near weeping) and that chick who claimed GSR was glorifying child abuse. Some of the most rabid Sara haters are also quite good at coming across as lacking in the sanity.
In short, shipping seems to bring out a lot of stupid. GSR gets more of it because it is the biggest ship in fandom. (In the viewing audience in general, I'm fairly certain most just don't much care.) It's the same in Doctor Who fandom. That's why I have a wankshelter, so all the sane people of fandom can come get drunk and escape the insanity. And maybe be able to laugh a bit about it all, because if you don't have a sense of humour in fandom, you'll lose your mind.
Because there are sane ones too. I've met some truly awesome people via CSI fandom, some GSR fans, some not, some simply not ship-minded at all. Just goes to show one shouldn't judge a ship-group by their batshit, really.
Re: I adore this line...It's perfect...
Date: 2006-10-06 09:31 pm (UTC)I spent a huge amount of time in the Pitch Black fandom...Met some lovely folks, but after Rhianna Griffith wasn't re-cast as Jack in the sequel many of those previously sane folks went nutso-cuckoo...Seriously, to the point of letter writing hate mail to the lead actor & the director & formally boycotting the sequel & writing hate-fics & lotsa other crazy stuff...These were formerly sane people who wrote incredible fanfics that became fanon & had a highly respected fan site & commanded quite a bit of respect in the community...It was very sad to witness the meltdown up close...
ABS;(
Re: I adore this line...It's perfect...
Date: 2006-10-07 10:30 am (UTC)Yeah. People are a bit herd animals, so egging each other on, it is very possibly to go collectively batshit. But it sure ain't pretty.