misscam: (Bill and Laura)
[personal profile] misscam
Dreaming of Clear Streams
by Camilla Sandman

Summary: Sometimes, when she sleeps, he watches her. [Adama/Roslin]

Rating: G+. Some vague allusions to naughty activities.

Disclaimer: Not my characters, and I am merely borrowing them for a small unprofitable spin.

Author's Note: Apologies for any mistakes - unbetaed, as I have no BSG beta yet. Vague references to 4X02 sets this sometimes before or after, but that's your own call. A ficlet.

II

Sometimes, when she sleeps, he watches her.

He sees her when she is awake too, but that is crisis and work and brave faces for friendship's sake, responsibilities and prophecies and choices. She is president, he is admiral, and there are so few humans in such a large universe depending on them.

Survivors, he thinks. After all they've survived, he won't see her die to rebelling cells. She isn't going anywhere. No one is. Not after all this. Not after...

No. Just no.

He can't order the future, he knows. He just refuses to let that stop him trying.

Sometimes, when she sleeps, he touches her.

Her skin feels cold to his touch - inside it, he imagines, cells are fighting cells and her body is fighting cancer and Laura is fighting fear and sometimes him, because the universe never takes its tags off for a fair go and he's easier to get to than the stars.

He can feel the years in her skin, as he imagines she can in his too. They don't mar her beauty. They are part of it. So far to come. So far and Laura.

Sometimes, when she sleeps, he talks to her.

He talks of Lee.; the son, the stranger, the shared blood. He talks of Kara; the friend, the almost-daughter; the shared understanding. He talks of Battlestar Galactica; the home of humanity, the potential savior of them all; the prison.

Now and then, he talks of her. Not in so many words, but in so many pauses. He can't throw her out of his head; she's already set up camp.

Sometimes, when she sleeps, he forgets.

She isn't dying. He isn't waiting. They're Laura and Bill. They've survived. They've shared life after. They've forged a friendship. They've danced. They've laughed. That is enough, but still isn't all.

He knows what could be. Hands linked, breath ragged, skin slick, bodies dominating and yielding at the same time. Frak, he knows it very well. When he lets himself forget, he thinks he might know it with her too.

Sometimes, when she sleeps, he sleeps.

For a long time after the attack, all his dreams were nightmares. The worst sort, because the worst had already happened. But they faded. Others came; those of fear of the future, but at least those had a future.

He dreams now of Laura being right and Kara wrong, and Kara right and Laura wrong, and never knows which is a nightmare. He dreams of dying and losing people and losing control and always wakes with a headache.

Sometimes, just sometimes, he dreams of Earth and clear streams and cabins and Laura, laughing in the sun. Always laughing, until he wakes and finds her looking at him from his bunk, a smile on her lips as if she knows.

Sometimes, when he sleeps, she watches him.

FIN
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Date: 2008-04-14 07:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vulgarweed.livejournal.com
Frak, that's gorgeous. I think you got them just right.

Date: 2008-04-15 06:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] misscam.livejournal.com
Thanks :) Always extremely nervous first time I write new characters, never feel like I get it quite right. But I'm glad it worked for you :)

Date: 2008-04-14 07:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] murphybluecat.livejournal.com
Simply precious.

Date: 2008-04-15 06:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] misscam.livejournal.com
Thank you :)

Date: 2008-04-14 08:04 pm (UTC)
falena: illustration of a blue and grey moth against a white background (Default)
From: [personal profile] falena
Damn, I wish I knew what exactly is going in on in this fandom just to be able to appreciate this fully. Gorgeous writing as ever, though, and I simply love your use of anaphora. It's so you and yet never clichéd.

A tiny typo: prophecies.

Date: 2008-04-15 06:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] misscam.livejournal.com
I have DVDs you can watch when you visit me? :P

And you made me look up 'anaphora' in my Norwegian-English dictionary, so I learned a new word today. Yay you. And yeah, I do quite often use that. I do sometimes write prose a bit like poetry, looking for rhythms in the way I phrase things. Language is so musical, you know?

Fixed, eek.

Date: 2008-04-14 08:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nnaylime.livejournal.com
This was absolutely gorgeous. Thank you so much!!

bodies dominating and yielding at the same time
Awesome! I love how you managed to capture the essence of their relationship in that summary of the act.

Date: 2008-04-15 06:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] misscam.livejournal.com
Thank you, I'm glad you liked :)

Date: 2008-04-14 08:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] phdelicious.livejournal.com
This is very in character. I feel so bad for Bill these days.

I'm not sure if this was intentional or not but you have: Laura being right and Kara wrong, and Kara wrong and Laura right which is the same both times.

Date: 2008-04-15 06:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] misscam.livejournal.com
Gah, fixed it. This what happens when you post while getting ready to raid Mount Hyjal in WoW. Bad me.

Thanks - and yeah, season four seem relative bleak so far, but it's not the show for happily ever after either way, I think.

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] phdelicious.livejournal.com - Date: 2008-04-15 01:10 pm (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2008-04-14 08:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] trickalicious78.livejournal.com
this was wonderful! :) thank you so much for sharing it with us.

Sometimes, just sometimes, he dreams of Earth and clear streams and cabins and Laura, laughing in the sun. Always laughing, until he wakes and finds her looking at him from his bunk, a smile on her lips as if she knows. <--this is my fave part, though. i love that is lends the appearance that they were sharing the same dream while also alluding to the fact that it is what will be. :D *sappy grin* FABULOUS!

Date: 2008-04-15 06:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] misscam.livejournal.com
Thank you for the feedback.

And yeah, last bit if fairly open to how you want to read it - I like characters to at least have a possibility of something good, heh.

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] trickalicious78.livejournal.com - Date: 2008-04-21 08:20 pm (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2008-04-14 09:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] 37-idees-fixes.livejournal.com
hmmm...
:)
I love this. It made me happy - all warm and fuzzy inside. lol

Date: 2008-04-15 06:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] misscam.livejournal.com
Thank you :)

Date: 2008-04-14 09:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wintergreen126.livejournal.com
lovely! you such a great job of capturing that quieter, reflective side of adama, and i love how it ends :o)

thanks for sharing and have a good one!

Date: 2008-04-15 06:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] misscam.livejournal.com
Ah, another one on my flist into BSG :) Seems to be a few of you, I need to do some snooping around.

And thanks :)

Date: 2008-04-14 09:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] marialena11.livejournal.com
Just one word WONDERFUL!
Welcome to the fandom and PLEASE write more!!!!

Date: 2008-04-15 06:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] misscam.livejournal.com
Thank you - and hopefully, yeah there will be more. I can be a fairly productive writer when inspired.

Date: 2008-04-14 09:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] belegcuthalion.livejournal.com
So utterly beautiful.

Date: 2008-04-15 06:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] misscam.livejournal.com
*marks another BSG watcher on her flist*

Thanks :)

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] belegcuthalion.livejournal.com - Date: 2008-04-15 07:50 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] misscam.livejournal.com - Date: 2008-04-15 08:34 am (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2008-04-14 10:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] childminerva.livejournal.com
This was beautiful...esp the last line where we see that Laura does the same for Bill ;)

Date: 2008-04-15 06:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] misscam.livejournal.com
Thank you :)

Date: 2008-04-14 11:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] flamingo55.livejournal.com
This was simply stunning - beautifully written, and you captured the characters perfectly.

This line - inside it, he imagines, cells are fighting cells and her body is fighting cancer and Laura is fighting fear and sometimes him, because the universe never takes its tags off for a fair go and he's easier to get to than the stars is fantastic - a beautiful image, and I love that Bill realizes why she fights him.

Thanks for sharing - please write more!!

Date: 2008-04-15 06:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] misscam.livejournal.com
That was actually the first line I wrote. Was just a line that popped into my head while watching it, and I wrote the fic around it. So glad that one works for you :)

Thanks, and hopefully I will!

Date: 2008-04-14 11:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] unavitasegreta.livejournal.com
That was beautiful! Such eloquent and perfectly flowing words!

Date: 2008-04-15 06:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] misscam.livejournal.com
Thanks :)

Date: 2008-04-14 11:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sapphs.livejournal.com
Wow. I am momentarily speechless. I think you captured them perfectly in a moment of peace when they can just be themselves.

Love the last few lines the best :)

Oh and welcome to the fandom! (here from adama_roslin)

Date: 2008-04-15 06:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] misscam.livejournal.com
Thank you :) Been a nice welcome so far, so I shall lurk around like the sneaky Norwegian I am.

Date: 2008-04-14 11:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lyricalviolet.livejournal.com
Fantastic job, as always. Welcome to BSG. For your first time out, you did quite well with these two. This is a lovely piece. I'd be happy to beta any further ventures in to the fandom, if you'd like.

Date: 2008-04-15 06:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] misscam.livejournal.com
Aha, should have known you were into this fandom as well. Heh. Yeah, I'll give you a swing at future gos - of course, still owe you a Doctor Who fic that just. won't. cooperate. ARGH. My own fault for picking the plot that I did, I suppose.

Date: 2008-04-15 12:01 am (UTC)

Date: 2008-04-15 06:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] misscam.livejournal.com
Thank you :)

Date: 2008-04-15 12:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] leli1013.livejournal.com
Another wonderful fic! I'm glad I'm not the only DW fan finding their way to BSG. I might actually have the incentive to write a fic in this fandom thanks to you.

Date: 2008-04-15 07:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] misscam.livejournal.com
Fic is good ;)

And yeah, I can see elements in BSG appealing to DW fans - though they are very different shows as well. And different fandoms, no doubt.

Date: 2008-04-15 01:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alias424.livejournal.com
Oh, this was just gorgeous. Beautifully done.

Date: 2008-04-15 07:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] misscam.livejournal.com
Thank you :)

Date: 2008-04-15 01:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] augrah.livejournal.com
I swear, I did a double take when I saw your name. The Camilla Sandman? The Camilla Sandman of amazing J/C fics? Wow that seems so long ago. I am so excited that you are in this fandom.

Because this story was brilliant. Soft and beautiful and perceptive and sad. And all of the Sometimes, when she sleeps were awesome, but this -- Sometimes, when she sleeps, he touches her -- was extraordinary. Thank you so much for sharing this with us.

Date: 2008-04-15 07:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] misscam.livejournal.com
You know, of all the fandoms I might consider people recognising me from, Voyager fandom didn't even enter my mind. (I was more thinking from CSI, Lord of the Rings or Doctor Who fandom, heh.) That was a seriously long time ago - but yeah, I've never changed the name I write under, so that would be me. Were you in the J/C groups, then? Can't say I can place your name automatically, but I have a memory like a Swiss cheese.

Blast from the past, wow.

Anyway, glad you enjoyed :)

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] augrah.livejournal.com - Date: 2008-04-15 01:05 pm (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2008-04-15 04:27 am (UTC)
From: [personal profile] fannishnonsense
This is beautiful and perfect and just OMG so good.

Date: 2008-04-15 07:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] misscam.livejournal.com
Thank you :)

(The icon is awesome, can I steal it?)

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] fannishnonsense - Date: 2008-04-15 02:47 pm (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2008-04-15 04:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] obsessive-a101.livejournal.com
<3<3<3... That was just... utterly and beautifully stunning...

Date: 2008-04-15 07:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] misscam.livejournal.com
Thank you :)

Date: 2008-04-15 06:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gypsygem81.livejournal.com
that was gorgeous! Really beautiful - thanks!

Date: 2008-04-15 07:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] misscam.livejournal.com
Thank you :)

Date: 2008-04-15 07:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] caramelapples11.livejournal.com
That was so beautiful! Thanks!

Date: 2008-04-15 08:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] misscam.livejournal.com
Thank you :)

Date: 2008-04-15 10:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] elvenpiratelady.livejournal.com
Not my fandom but ooh, bittersweet. And beautiful.

Date: 2008-04-15 10:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] misscam.livejournal.com
Thank you - glad you got something out of it even if it isn't your fandom.

Date: 2008-04-15 01:46 pm (UTC)
trialia: Ziva David (Cote de Pablo), head down, hair wind-streamed, eyes almost closed. (Default)
From: [personal profile] trialia
Yay, you're back in one of my fandoms! And what a start, seriously. This was breathtakingly beautiful, and if you ever need a back-up beta-reader, please feel free to ask me, I'm always here. :)

Date: 2008-04-15 03:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] misscam.livejournal.com
I guess I am ;) Which one did we share last, CSI?

Glad you liked - and thanks, I'll keep in mind your offer. I do have one I usually use who has revealed a love for BSG too, but it's always good to have back-ups to smack my ESL hiccups.

Noticed you friended me too, so I'm friending you back.

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] trialia - Date: 2008-04-15 03:43 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] misscam.livejournal.com - Date: 2008-04-15 03:55 pm (UTC) - Expand
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