My asshattery, let me show you it.

[misscam]

Reach for the barf bags, friends. This is going to be a disgusting ride.

So, we have this lawyer in Norway. If you've read my LJ a while, you might remember him from Norway's 'Pocket Man' pedophile case, wherein he described young buys being forced to give oral sex to middle-aged men as 'peanuts'. (Incidentally, he got fired from that job recently.)

Now, Staff has decided to regale all us lucky Norwegians who share a country with him with his opinions about Josef Fritzl, the man who kept his daughter trapped in a cellar for 24 years, raped her, fathered her seven children and disgusted a whole world. But not Staff. No no.

In Staff's own words, translated by yours truly:

He is nothing special, just a bit extreme maybe. We all have Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde in us.(...)

He makes a fortress, but within the fortress cosy surroundings are sough. It looks like an all right, bit low-roofed apartment, with considerable care for coziness. (...) It's not a prison (...) This is a small home. (...)

He saved three of his children from the basement. That's an expression of care (...)

In many ways he's a man that guards his family. (...)

I would thank God if I got the assignment [to defend him]

WHAT WHAT WHAT. I'm sorry, maybe my Dr. Jekyll isn't booted up this afternoon, but WHAT. Controlling, terrorizing and *raping* members of your own family is so far from guarding it's on the opposite side. A home? Nothing special? Let me try to make sense of this.

...

Nope, you're still batshit! Granted, the guy has Issues, as revealed by his own claim to have had sexual encounters at 11 with older men and finding them "damn nice". He also things age of consent should be 12 and blames a 'victim industry' on feminists. (But of course.) So, this is hardly the first time he's been revolting and I can see something's gone fucked in his head.

But dude, THIS IS BATSHIT. Why is there batshit in my country? EW EW.

In summary:
Dear Staff,

REBOOT YOUR BRAIN OR STFU. OMG STFU.

No love,
Norway

And also I think London's new mayor is kinda scary.

Comments

[lotus79.livejournal.com]

EPIC FAIL for Mr Staff.

So if "saving" three children from the basement expresses his care, what does imprisoning the other four express? Five, if you count the one that died.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

It's like he's trying to be the most reviled man in Norway these days. Which, mind you, is not the hardest competition out there. The field isn't that huge. It takes stamina to get from just annoying asshat to OMG EW.

'Love and care for his daughter in keeping her company down there', I assume. Oh EW that just disgusted me so much to write. ARGH.

[everysecondtues.livejournal.com]

Once more, he is made of the special fail. D:

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Yes, he's sure made a career of it.

[mademoisellenon.livejournal.com]

Guards his family...

Nice one.

Personally I want to know why Fritzl's wife, who from what I understand, lived in the same house as he and his locked-up daughter, never said anything along the lines of "wow, gee, you really disappear into that basement a lot. What's good?"

Remarkable that someone like that is in Norway. Deepest sympathies from someone, who has Phelps in her country.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

To every country, their own asshat.

And I too find it hard to imagine the wife never wondered, but of course, we don't know the details. I don't know. The whole case is made of such massive fucked-upness.

[idreamedmusic.livejournal.com]

He is nothing special, just a bit extreme maybe. We all have Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde in us.(...)

*jaw hits floor*

I didn't know you had David Lynch as a lawyer in Norway. And this isn't meant as an insult to Lynch, but, but, but... I'm at a loss of words here.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Now, that we all have some darker side is a valid point in some discussions, but holy shit, this case is nothing but extreme! I. Just. WHAT.

[bex245.livejournal.com]

I don't even wanna think about how someone could say all that shit.

And, OMG, London's new mayor is fucking scary. Why is everyone in London so made of fail?!

[misscam.livejournal.com]

I don't know, Labour must really have pissed people off or something.

[honorh.livejournal.com]

. . .

Three of those children had never seen the sun. One died in infancy, and its grave was an incinerator. *That's* caring for your family?

This guy, he is not right in the head.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Fuck yeah. I'm thinking his own admitted experiences has just buggered up something in his relationship to sex. This is not the first time he's said stupid shit on the subject.

[broken-enemy.livejournal.com]

This Staff guy seems like he needs immediate mental help. Ugh.

Also, my friends and I all voted against Boris in the elections and went out to dinner in a group of like 40 to celebrate our last day of school. Half way through dinner someone got a text saying that Boris won. We all erupted in screams of disgust. I'm so glad I'm leaving London for university. The man is an imbecile.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

At least he's not Prime Minister, eh? Think of Italy, Berlu and all.

[melandune.livejournal.com]

O_O *is at loss for words*

Argh, that man needs a good smack up the head and a good beating with the Fail!-stick. Staff must be one of the most batshit crazy people I've heard of since I learnt of Phelbs.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Fred Phelps is even more special - but this one is a good attempt to get up there, I have to say.

UGH PHELPS.

[evilstorm.livejournal.com]

He is nothing special, just a bit extreme maybe. We all have Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde in us.

Now that is true, but not in the context he meant, and god I'd like to sledgehammer him now.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

I can lend you one?

[azaleyes.livejournal.com]

Dear Boris-mayor-of-London,
Did you know there is something out there to tame that crazy hair? We call it a hairbrush.
I feel bad saying this because I'm blonde and blue eyed, but something about him looks "off"... I'm suspecting the blue eyes on white-ish skin and bleach blonde hair. *shrug* Hopefully he's a good mayor for them.

As for Norway, WHY, may I ask, is this man still even allowed to tack lawyer or better yet "citizen of Norway" anywhere near his name? UGH.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Because freedom of speech is a bitch. A needed must, but it comes with asshats. That's life for you.

[rivrea.livejournal.com]

Can't you exile that crazy lawyer guy to, um, the South Pole where he could spout his bullshit to the penguins?

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Hmm, we do have Queen Maud's Land in Antarctica...

[wintergreen126.livejournal.com]

In many ways he's a man that guards his family...I would thank God if I got the assignment [to defend him].

UNBELIEVABLE. UNFRAKINGBELIEVABLE.

i understand that as a lawyer it's his duty to defend his clients. but to CONDONE their actions?

i'm sorry that norway has to deal with sort of crazy nonsense.

hopefully your weekend isn't too full of batshit. have a good one :o)

[kahva.livejournal.com]

I'd say run a staff up this Mr. Staff, but he'd probably think it was a compliment with the twisted way of thinking he has that for him masquerades as logic.

Time to break out the sledgehammer of DOOOOOOM on that guy!

[belegcuthalion.livejournal.com]

Goodness. *stares* Aside from that nonsense: Fritzl was sick and downright evil (watching detail after detail popping up in the media doesn't give me the choice to come to any other conclusion), but what really makes me want to vomit is the fact how much of this monstrous madness could easily have been prevented.

Fritzl was actually previously convicted for rape (somewhen in the sixties), and for some unknown and insane reason his criminal record was removed. When he tried to "adopt" his own children, a closer look and a still existing record might have made the authorities in question much more distrustful and cauteous.

There were two female neighbors who knew about the previous rapes of Elisabeth before she vanished in the cellar (she tried to escape several times and made it to Vienna, but was brought back into the care of her "loving" father). But the women were too afraid of Fritzl to witness and save the poor girl from the ordeal of the next 24 years.

Sometimes I look at mankind and downright despair.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Oh fuck. Fuckity fuck fuck.

That's just... So fucked up. We have to do something about the lack of reporting of rapes, for fuck's sake. This is just not acceptable.

I feel ill now.

[joraina.livejournal.com]

W.
T.
F.

At this point, it's clear that the lawyer has become just as delusional as Fritzl's wife.

Oblivious lawyer is oblivious?

And oh dear, I miss London's last mayer dearly, even if he was a huge bore... But I must say, this Mr. Johnson does provide a comparable, perhaps even more hilarious, alternative to the President Bush Bushisms calendar.

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

Re: London's new mayor. It looks like he's an egg with a wig on top.

Re: Staff. It's people like him that makes me wonder how we've managed to live so long.

Re: Putting Staff in the Antarctic. That would be mean to the penguins.

[mad-troll.livejournal.com]

Well, maybe Staff is meant to be the karmic balance for Norway?
Like, it's going to rain money and you're all going to become 170° level WoW characters for real any day now?