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misscamBad way to start a morning:
Having to skim gratutious rapefic because of modly issues. ARGH WHY. I seriously had to take five minutes not to throw up. I realise I am extra prone to react (duh), but I see others had issues as well, so I give you A Rant.
If you're going to do a rapefic, here's a few tips to avoid making it gratuitous bullshit, okay?
1. WARN FOR IT FFS. Rape has happened to more people than you think, and makes even more people uncomfortable because, hey, it could happen to anyone. Be considerate to those of your readers who want nothing to do with it.
2. Making the rapist some cartoonish Skeletor-laughing evil? FAIL. The scary part about rape? It can be done to you by people who look friendly, by people you trust, by people everyone will say about 'but surely he can't be a rapist?' SURELY HE CAN. Don't write your villain so unrealistically it just makes the whole scenario unbelievable.
3. Watch how explicit you make it, dammit. Yeah, details can make it more real for the reader. Details can also make it more triggering, look more gratuitous and make it look like the author gets off on it. (Which hey, happens. People have non-con fantaties. BUT THEN LABEL YOUR FIC AS SO.) Writing a blow-by-blow might not be the most powerful way to do it either. The thing I remember about mine? How cold the ground was and how much dirt I got under my fingernails. Blow-by-blow? I don't want to remember. The brain has filters. Consider them when you write.
4. It's a common rape defence to cry 'but she wanted it!' Yeah, the body can have responses to being touched, responses you cannot control. Yes, even during rape, the body can respond. It happens. But be careful how you write that, FFS. In many cases, having some pleasure can actually make it worse for the victim. The body doesn't give consent. The mind does. Okay? You do not to imply the victim really wanted it, do you? You don't really want to help rape apologists, do you? Then write with care. (Again, if you're writing fantasty, LABEL IT.)
5. NO AMOUNT OF YOUR TRUE LOVE'S PENIS IS GOING TO MAKE IT OKAY. (Nope, not even if it's ten inches.) Yeah, love and support will help. Yeah, reclaiming sex will eventually help. Yeah, you'll live on. But it doesn't magically go away. You'll always have been raped. It can change you, it can change your relationships with others, it can have profound impacts on where your life goes from there. In the end, what gets you over rape? You do.
6. If you're wanting to write angst, and think to yourself 'hmm, rape's a good way to get angst in my story, yay', get off the keyboard and hit yourself five times with a book. Then sit down and think of something else. If you're still thinking rape, upgrade to a frying pan and ten times. Once your question starts resembling something like 'rape is horrifying. I wonder how people cope?' then your approach is starting to get somewhere. *Why* you write can matter.
7. There's literature out there about rape. Like with everything else, do some research before you write about something unfamiliar. It might open your eyes a bit.
8. Writing rape? Doesn't give you 'edgy' points. No, honestly. If that's your motivation, don't be surprised if people roast you to high Valhall.
9. Rape doesn't soil the victim. Sure, it's a common response to feel dirty from it, but that's a fucked up response and something to fight. Don't push the stereotype that she has to be 'cleaned'. The rapist soiled himself. The victim is innocent. DON'T PUT IT ON HER.
In summary:
Words have power. So watch how you write rape, okay?
I'm so not glad we had to have this chat.
Now I'm going to eat lunch and forget I wrote this.
Having to skim gratutious rapefic because of modly issues. ARGH WHY. I seriously had to take five minutes not to throw up. I realise I am extra prone to react (duh), but I see others had issues as well, so I give you A Rant.
If you're going to do a rapefic, here's a few tips to avoid making it gratuitous bullshit, okay?
1. WARN FOR IT FFS. Rape has happened to more people than you think, and makes even more people uncomfortable because, hey, it could happen to anyone. Be considerate to those of your readers who want nothing to do with it.
2. Making the rapist some cartoonish Skeletor-laughing evil? FAIL. The scary part about rape? It can be done to you by people who look friendly, by people you trust, by people everyone will say about 'but surely he can't be a rapist?' SURELY HE CAN. Don't write your villain so unrealistically it just makes the whole scenario unbelievable.
3. Watch how explicit you make it, dammit. Yeah, details can make it more real for the reader. Details can also make it more triggering, look more gratuitous and make it look like the author gets off on it. (Which hey, happens. People have non-con fantaties. BUT THEN LABEL YOUR FIC AS SO.) Writing a blow-by-blow might not be the most powerful way to do it either. The thing I remember about mine? How cold the ground was and how much dirt I got under my fingernails. Blow-by-blow? I don't want to remember. The brain has filters. Consider them when you write.
4. It's a common rape defence to cry 'but she wanted it!' Yeah, the body can have responses to being touched, responses you cannot control. Yes, even during rape, the body can respond. It happens. But be careful how you write that, FFS. In many cases, having some pleasure can actually make it worse for the victim. The body doesn't give consent. The mind does. Okay? You do not to imply the victim really wanted it, do you? You don't really want to help rape apologists, do you? Then write with care. (Again, if you're writing fantasty, LABEL IT.)
5. NO AMOUNT OF YOUR TRUE LOVE'S PENIS IS GOING TO MAKE IT OKAY. (Nope, not even if it's ten inches.) Yeah, love and support will help. Yeah, reclaiming sex will eventually help. Yeah, you'll live on. But it doesn't magically go away. You'll always have been raped. It can change you, it can change your relationships with others, it can have profound impacts on where your life goes from there. In the end, what gets you over rape? You do.
6. If you're wanting to write angst, and think to yourself 'hmm, rape's a good way to get angst in my story, yay', get off the keyboard and hit yourself five times with a book. Then sit down and think of something else. If you're still thinking rape, upgrade to a frying pan and ten times. Once your question starts resembling something like 'rape is horrifying. I wonder how people cope?' then your approach is starting to get somewhere. *Why* you write can matter.
7. There's literature out there about rape. Like with everything else, do some research before you write about something unfamiliar. It might open your eyes a bit.
8. Writing rape? Doesn't give you 'edgy' points. No, honestly. If that's your motivation, don't be surprised if people roast you to high Valhall.
9. Rape doesn't soil the victim. Sure, it's a common response to feel dirty from it, but that's a fucked up response and something to fight. Don't push the stereotype that she has to be 'cleaned'. The rapist soiled himself. The victim is innocent. DON'T PUT IT ON HER.
In summary:
Words have power. So watch how you write rape, okay?
I'm so not glad we had to have this chat.
Now I'm going to eat lunch and forget I wrote this.
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no subject
Date: 2008-05-24 03:16 pm (UTC)That's a hard question to answer. First of all, I have to say there's so many different ways people have of coping with shit that I don't want to say there's one way to not do it. Maybe writing it helps her in some way. I can't say it definitely wouldn't. I mean, I haven't written a rapefic after it happened to me, but I have written fics that are about getting over trauma. This has helped me, in a very painful sort of way. You gotta face pain a bit too, not just push it down.
On the other hand, some people do use the 'but I've been raped!' as an excuse online when people confront them about being insensitive on the subject and that's not always true. There are certain things I can't imagine someone who had suffered a rape would write, you know? But again, people are very different.
I don't know this case, so I don't know what I would say. It would depend on the person, the circumstances, the way it was written, a whole bunch of things like that. I don't know what I'd say.
Actually, I probably wouldn't have read it at all. I do get triggered. I can live with what happened to me, but it takes me a lot of effort to write about it, for instance. I don't need to get smacked in the face with reliving it when I'm not expecting it. I hope she at very least warned for it, because if you've been raped and don't, you're kind of an ass.
ETA: And to agree with Cassie, I would find a bit odd to offer something so personal up for public consumption. I wrote some stuff afterwards I would never let anyone read. Then again, other things I have let people read, so who knows...
no subject
Date: 2008-05-24 03:22 pm (UTC)I'm all for therapy, but I'm not so sure that pubishing was a good idea.
I don't know. It's complicated, and I don't want to offend anyone.
no subject
Date: 2008-05-24 03:44 pm (UTC)In this case, it was probably wise to take it at face value and let it go. If you actually accuse someone of lying that aren't you're just adding so much extra shit to them. I guess it's that old letting some guilty walk to ensure no innocent are ever convicted wrongly.