On a more cheerful note...
Dec. 5th, 2003 04:36 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
misscamAt least more cheerful than my recent 'high drama' posts (thank you all very much for attempts to cheer me up, justify my feelings and offers of support. I'll be all right and move on from it. It'll just take me a while, is all), one would hope. I hereby present the draft opening to Merry and Pippin's Short Stories of Slash and Other Naughty Narratives: The Tale of the Ringwraith’s Raunchy Revenge. (I somehow get the feeling this will be a loooong tale)
Also, I'm also looking for a proofreader. My usual isn't all that crazy about slash, so I thought I'd spare her. Any volunteers please give a hoot.
So, without further ado - the starting draft.
*****
It was a day like any other in Middle-earth, as Amber walked happily down the hill to the Green Pony. It was spring in the Shire, and the blue sky and bright sun seemed to promise a good summer.
But the hobbit girl wasn’t really thinking about the coming summer. The new neighbour had invited her over to elevensies, in the age-old tradition of sharing the first meal in a new house with your nearest neighbour.
The door opened even before Amber could knock.
“Can I invited you in for mushrooms and some whipped cream?” Andtauriel Longwood said seductively, wearing nothing but the whipped cream. She smiled.
“Surely,” replied Amber, who was wearing nothing but mushrooms.
The meal was mixed up in the traditional way before being consumed, for hobbits were a people of strong traditions. Later that week the whole neighbourhood would be invited for the traditional bring-your-slave BDSM barbeque.
It was such a carefree morning that no hobbit could envision any dark clouds on the horizon. Life was good, and orgies were plentiful.
But in a dark cellar in Bree, Vilinathraxes the Ringwraith Queen (she was mostly female, at least) were plotting evil schemes while spanking Tyellas, her human slave. Vilinathraxes had been running a highly admired House of Pain and Pleasure in Bree (the house had originally belonged to an Elf named Starfish, who was most famous for taking her love for trees to the level of having a long-term relationship to an Entwife. If that wasn’t pain, nothing was) ever since Sauron had fallen. It seemed a natural a career choice when being Evil Minion had fallen through.
“May you punish me harder, Mistress?” Tyellas asked. “Surely, I have been naughty enough for you to use your whip on me now?”
Vilinathraxes, who prided herself on her many creative uses of a whip that did not involve whipping, decided that was a good idea. Whip Application #12 always helped her relax.
A few hours and many tubes of lube later, Vilinathraxes went back to her evil scheming. Revenge had to target Men, Elves, Hobbits and Eagles, all deeply involved in the fall of Sauron. Preferably in one sweeping blow, as she had a very profitable business to engage herself in. The House of Pain and Pleasure offered more fun than Sauron, the naughty Maia that he was, had ever been able to offer on his lava lovebed, but Evil Minion was a commitment for a lifetime. You didn’t stop doing evil in His name just because he’d become a harmless cloud.
And Vilinathraxes had just the plan needed for Sauron’s revenge.
To be continued....
Also, I'm also looking for a proofreader. My usual isn't all that crazy about slash, so I thought I'd spare her. Any volunteers please give a hoot.
So, without further ado - the starting draft.
*****
It was a day like any other in Middle-earth, as Amber walked happily down the hill to the Green Pony. It was spring in the Shire, and the blue sky and bright sun seemed to promise a good summer.
But the hobbit girl wasn’t really thinking about the coming summer. The new neighbour had invited her over to elevensies, in the age-old tradition of sharing the first meal in a new house with your nearest neighbour.
The door opened even before Amber could knock.
“Can I invited you in for mushrooms and some whipped cream?” Andtauriel Longwood said seductively, wearing nothing but the whipped cream. She smiled.
“Surely,” replied Amber, who was wearing nothing but mushrooms.
The meal was mixed up in the traditional way before being consumed, for hobbits were a people of strong traditions. Later that week the whole neighbourhood would be invited for the traditional bring-your-slave BDSM barbeque.
It was such a carefree morning that no hobbit could envision any dark clouds on the horizon. Life was good, and orgies were plentiful.
But in a dark cellar in Bree, Vilinathraxes the Ringwraith Queen (she was mostly female, at least) were plotting evil schemes while spanking Tyellas, her human slave. Vilinathraxes had been running a highly admired House of Pain and Pleasure in Bree (the house had originally belonged to an Elf named Starfish, who was most famous for taking her love for trees to the level of having a long-term relationship to an Entwife. If that wasn’t pain, nothing was) ever since Sauron had fallen. It seemed a natural a career choice when being Evil Minion had fallen through.
“May you punish me harder, Mistress?” Tyellas asked. “Surely, I have been naughty enough for you to use your whip on me now?”
Vilinathraxes, who prided herself on her many creative uses of a whip that did not involve whipping, decided that was a good idea. Whip Application #12 always helped her relax.
A few hours and many tubes of lube later, Vilinathraxes went back to her evil scheming. Revenge had to target Men, Elves, Hobbits and Eagles, all deeply involved in the fall of Sauron. Preferably in one sweeping blow, as she had a very profitable business to engage herself in. The House of Pain and Pleasure offered more fun than Sauron, the naughty Maia that he was, had ever been able to offer on his lava lovebed, but Evil Minion was a commitment for a lifetime. You didn’t stop doing evil in His name just because he’d become a harmless cloud.
And Vilinathraxes had just the plan needed for Sauron’s revenge.
To be continued....
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no subject
Date: 2003-12-04 07:59 pm (UTC)*blink*
O_o
*blink*
I was wearing mushrooms? I'm not gonna even get into the why, but HOW? *is now confused and somewhat intrigued*
yay!
Date: 2003-12-04 08:04 pm (UTC)Offer
Date: 2003-12-04 08:13 pm (UTC)If you need someone who will find even the most minute grammatical error, it is I. I will proofread your chapter and scrutinise every single letter. I am also very concerned with how a sentence 'flows', so if it doesn't sound quite right I often reword it.
So...here's hoping when you said 'proofreader' you meant spell- and grammar-checker...
~Shada
no subject
Date: 2003-12-04 08:16 pm (UTC)I'm crazy about slash ... but I don't know how reliable I am as a beta. If nobody better volunteers, though, I'd love to give it a read. (In the proofreading sense, of course.)
no subject
Date: 2003-12-04 08:30 pm (UTC)I read your first OFUM (lovely), then I lagged behind and have not gotten to catching up because I have fallen head-first into Harry/Draco slash. *grins*
no subject
Date: 2003-12-05 04:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-05 04:18 am (UTC)But apart from this, I think I'll enjoy this story.^_^
no subject
Date: 2003-12-05 06:38 am (UTC)I''m already enjoying this story very much! But that was kinda inevitable. ;)
no subject
Date: 2003-12-05 07:10 am (UTC)For daily life, that's what it is for... ^_^
Of course... ^______^
no subject
Date: 2003-12-05 08:22 am (UTC)Oh.My.Gosh. This is so hillarious. Orgies aren't usually my kind of thing, but this one's just irresistible. *bowing down*
Reading it and liking it
Date: 2003-12-05 12:15 pm (UTC)*shrugs* mostly it's because I don't have qualms about any type of slash...and I mean any. *grins sheepishly* I spend maybe a bit too much time on Adultfanfic.net, Of Elves and Men, Lotr Lirimaer and...er...Library of Moria...means I have seen them all really, nothing fazes me.
Also...this is quite an interesting start you have here. I got a bit lost though with all the names...maybe if I started having more than 4 or 5 hours of sleep a night my head will clear up and I'll be able to understand the greater aspects of life...but for now, work and writing takes presidence.
Hope life goes well for you...it will...yes it will...chant the mantra 'It can only get better'...I'm doing it too, it works.
Be well!!
Tata
~Vana E~
no subject
Date: 2003-12-05 03:34 pm (UTC)Should be "...was plotting evil schemes..". Unless Vilinathraxes is plural (don't want to assume anything!)
who was most famous for taking her love for trees to the level of having a long-term relationship to an Entwife.
Should be "relationship with an Entwife."
That's all I noticed on a quick read. Except that it was funny and kind of hot in spite of itself, that is.
no subject
Date: 2003-12-05 08:54 pm (UTC)Re: yay!
Date: 2003-12-05 08:56 pm (UTC)Thanks, O Stranger.
Re: Offer
Date: 2003-12-05 08:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-05 09:02 pm (UTC)Ishmael says 'mjau'.
no subject
Date: 2003-12-05 09:04 pm (UTC)Harry/Draco slash, eh? Of the Harry-gone-bad, or Draco-redeemed kind?
no subject
Date: 2003-12-05 09:05 pm (UTC)Don't you have your own naughty stuff to write though? I see to recall nagging readers...
*gets out whip* Write! Be bad!
no subject
Date: 2003-12-05 09:06 pm (UTC)Okay!
no subject
Date: 2003-12-05 09:07 pm (UTC)Re: Reading it and liking it
Date: 2003-12-05 09:09 pm (UTC)And as I said before, I'd really like a British English proofreader if at all possible, but I'll keep your offer in mind.
no subject
Date: 2003-12-05 09:12 pm (UTC)*sniggers quietly*
Wasn't really aiming for hot, but whatever works for ya, I guess ;)
no subject
Date: 2003-12-05 11:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-06 02:32 am (UTC)Re: Reading it and liking it
Date: 2003-12-06 05:44 am (UTC)Am corrupt and quite sadistic now...nothing can change that. It stops cheesy fluff from pouring out into my fics anyway, thats a good thing.
And also...I am Australian. I only LIVE in Holland and have been here for over a year. This actually prompts me to improve my english as it suffers terribly under the Helmondse slang (my town, Helmond, has a screwed dialect)...so I have attached myself to my now rather tattered Webster's thesaurous and yes...I never use American spelling.
*is still shocked about being too young* To young *mutters and shakes her head* too young indeed.