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misscamBBC announces the new companion.
Interesting choice. She looks pretty and I approve of the Scottishness and lovely hair. The rest I will wait and see on.
Meanwhile in fandom, there is trouble when an anon reviewer labels a fic dubcon and the author and friends take offence. (Encouraging friends to defend her story here, I see, while the anon reviewer declares them banned here.)
Oi. Can't really take a stand on whether or not the fic is dubcon since I haven't read it. But I'd still like to say a few things in general, because I have come across debates like this before and certain things just bug me.
(Now interestingly, the situation that was labelled dubcon by the reviwer was by a female on a male. And lets get this straight right away - males do get raped. Not just by males, either.)
Rape isn't just the image of a violent stranger assaulting a terrified woman. No, really, it isn't. It can also be the boyfriend to the girlfriend, the 'good friend' taking advantage of someone drunk, the aggressive guy pushing until the chick gives up telling him to stop, the woman to the man. Rape can be a lot of things - and it can also involve some bodily pleasure. It doesn't make it any less rape.
See, the body reacts to certain stimuli. It doesn't mean the mind was along for the drive. Women can have orgasms during rape. Men can have an erection and be raped. It's not your body that gives consent. It's your head.
Quite frankly, any sort of 'oh he/she enjoyed it so it can't be rape' is downright dangerous attitude, because it's the sort of attitude that gives victim of rape even more shit to deal with in the aftermath. Repeat after me: The body reacts to certain stimuli. That is not and will never be consent. Don't write it like that.
Secondly, having a fantasy about something is NOT giving consent. A lot of women have variations of 'rape fantasies'. They don't want the real thing. Some fantasies people might want realised, but it's not a given.
Now granted, people read things differently and one person's dubcon is another's hot porn. Not everything is black and white, and your own experiences do influence your perception. I am sensitive to this issue. I was raped, and that has changed parts of me. I can't read certain kinds of fics because they trigger me and I appreciate so much authors that warn and allow me to steer away.
Of course, sometimes authors don't warn because to them, they haven't written dubcon or rape. But it is possible to write it unaware - be aware of that. There are still a lot of misconceptions about what rape is out there - see Bill Napoli's ideas about rape, BARF - and they seep in. Not all readers might see it either, for the same reason.
Of course, sometimes a reader can also read into it a bit too much. That can also happen. Not everything has an objective truth. It can be hard to tell, and it's easy to feel defensive of own work. But trying to understand why a reader walked away with that impression might help you avoid something similar in the future.
Some might say an author can't warn for everything. But you know what? Sexual assault happen to a scary amount of women. After I made a post about my rape, I got a lot of private comments and e-mails from people who also had suffered some kind of sexual assault. It wasn't all women either. So many rapes never get reported. So many are not sure if they suffered assault or not because society still has some fucked-up notions about consent.
Think of it not as political correctness, but just a little sensitivity. Better yet, if you're not writing noncon or dubcon for kink, make the consent crystalclear and loud so readers can't miss it. You can't control everything your readers will take away from a story. But you can try to make it not something unintended.
So in conclusion, if you want to make Cam happy - write some hot, hot consenting porn. Make the actual acting of giving consent hot and I will love you and give you happy reviews forever. Consider it a challenge.
(A previous rant on what consent is and isn't here and on the soapbox about rape.)
Or just be a little aware and care a little about this issue. Because trust me, a scary number of women will actually appreciate that.
I know I will.
Interesting choice. She looks pretty and I approve of the Scottishness and lovely hair. The rest I will wait and see on.
Meanwhile in fandom, there is trouble when an anon reviewer labels a fic dubcon and the author and friends take offence. (Encouraging friends to defend her story here, I see, while the anon reviewer declares them banned here.)
Oi. Can't really take a stand on whether or not the fic is dubcon since I haven't read it. But I'd still like to say a few things in general, because I have come across debates like this before and certain things just bug me.
(Now interestingly, the situation that was labelled dubcon by the reviwer was by a female on a male. And lets get this straight right away - males do get raped. Not just by males, either.)
Rape isn't just the image of a violent stranger assaulting a terrified woman. No, really, it isn't. It can also be the boyfriend to the girlfriend, the 'good friend' taking advantage of someone drunk, the aggressive guy pushing until the chick gives up telling him to stop, the woman to the man. Rape can be a lot of things - and it can also involve some bodily pleasure. It doesn't make it any less rape.
See, the body reacts to certain stimuli. It doesn't mean the mind was along for the drive. Women can have orgasms during rape. Men can have an erection and be raped. It's not your body that gives consent. It's your head.
Quite frankly, any sort of 'oh he/she enjoyed it so it can't be rape' is downright dangerous attitude, because it's the sort of attitude that gives victim of rape even more shit to deal with in the aftermath. Repeat after me: The body reacts to certain stimuli. That is not and will never be consent. Don't write it like that.
Secondly, having a fantasy about something is NOT giving consent. A lot of women have variations of 'rape fantasies'. They don't want the real thing. Some fantasies people might want realised, but it's not a given.
Now granted, people read things differently and one person's dubcon is another's hot porn. Not everything is black and white, and your own experiences do influence your perception. I am sensitive to this issue. I was raped, and that has changed parts of me. I can't read certain kinds of fics because they trigger me and I appreciate so much authors that warn and allow me to steer away.
Of course, sometimes authors don't warn because to them, they haven't written dubcon or rape. But it is possible to write it unaware - be aware of that. There are still a lot of misconceptions about what rape is out there - see Bill Napoli's ideas about rape, BARF - and they seep in. Not all readers might see it either, for the same reason.
Of course, sometimes a reader can also read into it a bit too much. That can also happen. Not everything has an objective truth. It can be hard to tell, and it's easy to feel defensive of own work. But trying to understand why a reader walked away with that impression might help you avoid something similar in the future.
Some might say an author can't warn for everything. But you know what? Sexual assault happen to a scary amount of women. After I made a post about my rape, I got a lot of private comments and e-mails from people who also had suffered some kind of sexual assault. It wasn't all women either. So many rapes never get reported. So many are not sure if they suffered assault or not because society still has some fucked-up notions about consent.
Think of it not as political correctness, but just a little sensitivity. Better yet, if you're not writing noncon or dubcon for kink, make the consent crystalclear and loud so readers can't miss it. You can't control everything your readers will take away from a story. But you can try to make it not something unintended.
So in conclusion, if you want to make Cam happy - write some hot, hot consenting porn. Make the actual acting of giving consent hot and I will love you and give you happy reviews forever. Consider it a challenge.
(A previous rant on what consent is and isn't here and on the soapbox about rape.)
Or just be a little aware and care a little about this issue. Because trust me, a scary number of women will actually appreciate that.
I know I will.
no subject
Date: 2009-05-30 08:38 am (UTC)