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misscamSo, a Big Bang fic is posted in bandom, wherein one of the characters is made transfemale. (As I understand, I have not read the story.)
sinuous_curve points out to her flist she finds the story to contain "transfail, misogyny, and paternalism".
The author pokes her head in, at first enganging and claiming to be ready to listen, and stating that the issues the OP had with the fic were more or less intended as meta commentary.
Then the author goes and does this post, which contains language that could be triggering about sexual assault/physical assault. I'll be discussing this under the cut, as well as what rape is and isn't.
Author claims:
There is such a thing as 'wank' in fandom, okay, but this is not wank. This is a fucking gang-rape.
(edited to add)
YES, I USED THE R-WORD, OMG. I considered the reference very carefully prior to making it. I knew that some people would find it offensive; I chose to use it anyway, for precisely that reason.
Rape is a horrific, massively traumatizing experience, but it is not the epitome of horror in the universe, nor is it unique in its horror. I speak not of internet flame wars, but things like emotional rape - the systematic violation and victimization and depersonalization of another - and NO you cannot say that it is not the same, because now we are talking about my personal experience and YES IT IS. A person can brutalize another to the core of their soul, shatter every part of their psyche and leave them cowering and helpless, without ever touching their body. The idea that forced sexual activity is the Very Worst Thing Ever, and worse than any other experience could be, is not only degrading to anyone who's ever been tortured and victimized in a non-sexual way, but also plays right into the archaic concept that A Woman's Virtue Is Sacred Beyond All Else, and is offensive on that level as well.
So I refuse to fall into line with the thinking that the word "rape" is somehow more sacred than any other kind of horrific experience; horrific experience is horrific experience, whatever its form.
In this situation, people are alleging that I caused them deep and lasting emotional harm with my words - and yet with their own words, they have effectively gathered up a mob, snuck up on me from behind, blindsided me with a blow to the head, and proceeded to shove their Internet penis through every orifice they could find, as if I were a thing to be abused rather than a human being worthy of even basic respect - and they are ALL ABOUT the damage they claim I've done with my words, yet completely dismissive of the effects of their own words and actions. My words are WEAPONS; theirs don't count.
And I don't know if I can even explain how deeply dehumanizing it is to have people TELLING YOU what your thoughts and motives are, to speak openly and honestly to people and have them bluntly call you a liar because you cannot possibly be CAPABLE of honesty... once you are the target of an assault like that (and assault with words is still assault, especially accompanied by that sort of mob intimidation tactic) you are no longer a person, you are nothing, and no matter whether you fight back or try to cooperate or roll over and show your belly or burst into tears you are still POWERLESS, the mob is relentless and Will Not Stop until you are completely cowed, completely beaten, utterly broken... and then they will kick you in the side and tell you that you DESERVED IT...
Yes. Rape.
I used a horrific word to describe a horrific experience. In the world beyond fandom, that is what writers DO.
You know, I've seen quite a few people do Inappropriate Comparisons to Rape on the Internet, but never before have I seen someone attempt to justify it in such a Way of Fail. As a survivor of rape, my first response was a rather long string of internal Norwegian cursing, but then I calmed down and have this response instead.
First off, rape is also emotional trauma. That's part of the reason it's a shit thing, part of the reason it can take a long time to deal with and part of the reason being triggered even long after can be very emotionally painful. (And yes, I do note the author didn't warn for triggers in the original rant, which contained rather graphic language.)
Secondly, no one made this about Rape Is Worse Than Anything Else except you. People were taking exception to you comparing rape to something not at all like rape and trivalizing it. That is in fact not making rape the Olympic Champion of Shit Things, but rather saying that it is a shit thing to survive. Which it is. For some people, it might actually be the worst sort of trauma, for others not. This is because people are different and will not have identical reactions to trauma to begin with. Experiences also depends on circumstances and aftermath and many other factors, and rating harm is not a very exact science. It should probably not be a science at all.
Thirdly, rape is not merely "forced sexual activity". Rape can even happen without physical force. Rape is about power - about losing it, about someone taking it, about trying to reclaim it afterwards. Rape is about sex as a weapon - but sex is not at heart of it. Rape is violation and that is more at the heart of it. It is not about something that is simply a bit unwanted, like me forcing myself to bike up that last hill because it's exercise. Attempting to make it all about sex is a frequent tactic of those defending rapists, because then they can turn it on the victim and how she wanted the sex, really! Look at all the other times she's wanted sex! Look at all the other times she'd had sex! This can't have been forced sexual activity, even if she said no she wanted yes!
(Oh how I loathe that one oh so much. It makes arousal the consent, which is wrong. Arousal is a bodily response. Rapists can actually manipulate the body to respond to sexual stimuli. Some women even have orgasms during rape. That does not make it any less rape. The body does not give consent. The mind does.)
Fourthly, your "horrific experience is horrific experience, whatever its form". The specific form of this horrific experience is what gives rape its name, just as other forms have other names. Torture. Bullying. Physical abuse. Emotional abuse. We don't name them differently because they are not horrific, but because they do have those different forms. As a writer, you should very well know that certain words evoke certain meanings, and rape evokes a very certain one that is not simply "horrific experience". It is a very specific horrific experience, which brings me to...
Getting criticized on the Internet is not rape. NO REALLY IT IS NOT. You, author, hijacked a word. People took exception to this and you made a dismissive rant that manages to both trivalize rape and make a comparison that makes it clear you don't really get what rape is. And then claim critisism on the Internet is like a lynch mob, too.
Look author, you're clearly feeling hurt. I get it. I also get that the OP felt hurt by your story, and posted about that in public. Others commented to agree or disagree or talk about issues concerning transphobia. You attempted to defend your story, and several people raised issues with your defence. None of this is anything like rape or a lynch mob. Those words have power. Using them against people who are criticizing your story is attempting to empower your argument, to make the other side the villains. To make your hurt surpass theirs. (Maybe you don't see theirs and thus don't want to acknowledge it. This is not uncommon - it is hard to see beyond own one's perspective. But that doesn't mean you should not try.) Words do have power, but just because you can use a word, doesn't mean you're not automatically entitled to the power it can contain. You need to use it right for that, and that's why writing is a craft.
A long story written over a period of time has had a lot of effort poured into it. To face it getting critisized can feel like getting kicked in the belly. I get that, I write myself. I've felt that moment of defensive "how dare they point out flaws in my darling story!". But effort does not mean immunity from criticism. Intent does not mean immunity from criticism. The author's love of what they have written does not mean immunity from critisism. There actually is no immunity from criticism, which is why it helps to deal with it gracefully.
This was not graceful. And this, author, was not rape. Criticism of a fanfic NEVER WILL BE like rape, okay?, because only rape is like rape, and excuse me for a moment while I scream a few Norwegian words inside my head about that fact.
I need a stiff drink and some good football, I do.
sinuous_curve points out to her flist she finds the story to contain "transfail, misogyny, and paternalism". The author pokes her head in, at first enganging and claiming to be ready to listen, and stating that the issues the OP had with the fic were more or less intended as meta commentary.
Then the author goes and does this post, which contains language that could be triggering about sexual assault/physical assault. I'll be discussing this under the cut, as well as what rape is and isn't.
Author claims:
There is such a thing as 'wank' in fandom, okay, but this is not wank. This is a fucking gang-rape.
(edited to add)
YES, I USED THE R-WORD, OMG. I considered the reference very carefully prior to making it. I knew that some people would find it offensive; I chose to use it anyway, for precisely that reason.
Rape is a horrific, massively traumatizing experience, but it is not the epitome of horror in the universe, nor is it unique in its horror. I speak not of internet flame wars, but things like emotional rape - the systematic violation and victimization and depersonalization of another - and NO you cannot say that it is not the same, because now we are talking about my personal experience and YES IT IS. A person can brutalize another to the core of their soul, shatter every part of their psyche and leave them cowering and helpless, without ever touching their body. The idea that forced sexual activity is the Very Worst Thing Ever, and worse than any other experience could be, is not only degrading to anyone who's ever been tortured and victimized in a non-sexual way, but also plays right into the archaic concept that A Woman's Virtue Is Sacred Beyond All Else, and is offensive on that level as well.
So I refuse to fall into line with the thinking that the word "rape" is somehow more sacred than any other kind of horrific experience; horrific experience is horrific experience, whatever its form.
In this situation, people are alleging that I caused them deep and lasting emotional harm with my words - and yet with their own words, they have effectively gathered up a mob, snuck up on me from behind, blindsided me with a blow to the head, and proceeded to shove their Internet penis through every orifice they could find, as if I were a thing to be abused rather than a human being worthy of even basic respect - and they are ALL ABOUT the damage they claim I've done with my words, yet completely dismissive of the effects of their own words and actions. My words are WEAPONS; theirs don't count.
And I don't know if I can even explain how deeply dehumanizing it is to have people TELLING YOU what your thoughts and motives are, to speak openly and honestly to people and have them bluntly call you a liar because you cannot possibly be CAPABLE of honesty... once you are the target of an assault like that (and assault with words is still assault, especially accompanied by that sort of mob intimidation tactic) you are no longer a person, you are nothing, and no matter whether you fight back or try to cooperate or roll over and show your belly or burst into tears you are still POWERLESS, the mob is relentless and Will Not Stop until you are completely cowed, completely beaten, utterly broken... and then they will kick you in the side and tell you that you DESERVED IT...
Yes. Rape.
I used a horrific word to describe a horrific experience. In the world beyond fandom, that is what writers DO.
You know, I've seen quite a few people do Inappropriate Comparisons to Rape on the Internet, but never before have I seen someone attempt to justify it in such a Way of Fail. As a survivor of rape, my first response was a rather long string of internal Norwegian cursing, but then I calmed down and have this response instead.
First off, rape is also emotional trauma. That's part of the reason it's a shit thing, part of the reason it can take a long time to deal with and part of the reason being triggered even long after can be very emotionally painful. (And yes, I do note the author didn't warn for triggers in the original rant, which contained rather graphic language.)
Secondly, no one made this about Rape Is Worse Than Anything Else except you. People were taking exception to you comparing rape to something not at all like rape and trivalizing it. That is in fact not making rape the Olympic Champion of Shit Things, but rather saying that it is a shit thing to survive. Which it is. For some people, it might actually be the worst sort of trauma, for others not. This is because people are different and will not have identical reactions to trauma to begin with. Experiences also depends on circumstances and aftermath and many other factors, and rating harm is not a very exact science. It should probably not be a science at all.
Thirdly, rape is not merely "forced sexual activity". Rape can even happen without physical force. Rape is about power - about losing it, about someone taking it, about trying to reclaim it afterwards. Rape is about sex as a weapon - but sex is not at heart of it. Rape is violation and that is more at the heart of it. It is not about something that is simply a bit unwanted, like me forcing myself to bike up that last hill because it's exercise. Attempting to make it all about sex is a frequent tactic of those defending rapists, because then they can turn it on the victim and how she wanted the sex, really! Look at all the other times she's wanted sex! Look at all the other times she'd had sex! This can't have been forced sexual activity, even if she said no she wanted yes!
(Oh how I loathe that one oh so much. It makes arousal the consent, which is wrong. Arousal is a bodily response. Rapists can actually manipulate the body to respond to sexual stimuli. Some women even have orgasms during rape. That does not make it any less rape. The body does not give consent. The mind does.)
Fourthly, your "horrific experience is horrific experience, whatever its form". The specific form of this horrific experience is what gives rape its name, just as other forms have other names. Torture. Bullying. Physical abuse. Emotional abuse. We don't name them differently because they are not horrific, but because they do have those different forms. As a writer, you should very well know that certain words evoke certain meanings, and rape evokes a very certain one that is not simply "horrific experience". It is a very specific horrific experience, which brings me to...
Getting criticized on the Internet is not rape. NO REALLY IT IS NOT. You, author, hijacked a word. People took exception to this and you made a dismissive rant that manages to both trivalize rape and make a comparison that makes it clear you don't really get what rape is. And then claim critisism on the Internet is like a lynch mob, too.
Look author, you're clearly feeling hurt. I get it. I also get that the OP felt hurt by your story, and posted about that in public. Others commented to agree or disagree or talk about issues concerning transphobia. You attempted to defend your story, and several people raised issues with your defence. None of this is anything like rape or a lynch mob. Those words have power. Using them against people who are criticizing your story is attempting to empower your argument, to make the other side the villains. To make your hurt surpass theirs. (Maybe you don't see theirs and thus don't want to acknowledge it. This is not uncommon - it is hard to see beyond own one's perspective. But that doesn't mean you should not try.) Words do have power, but just because you can use a word, doesn't mean you're not automatically entitled to the power it can contain. You need to use it right for that, and that's why writing is a craft.
A long story written over a period of time has had a lot of effort poured into it. To face it getting critisized can feel like getting kicked in the belly. I get that, I write myself. I've felt that moment of defensive "how dare they point out flaws in my darling story!". But effort does not mean immunity from criticism. Intent does not mean immunity from criticism. The author's love of what they have written does not mean immunity from critisism. There actually is no immunity from criticism, which is why it helps to deal with it gracefully.
This was not graceful. And this, author, was not rape. Criticism of a fanfic NEVER WILL BE like rape, okay?, because only rape is like rape, and excuse me for a moment while I scream a few Norwegian words inside my head about that fact.
I need a stiff drink and some good football, I do.
