Sneak peeks and worries
Mar. 16th, 2004 03:31 amThe Madrid bombing has made even Norwegians a bit edgy - our main train station was evacuated yesterday after the discovery of an abandoned suit case. After abot an hour, the bomb squad found out it only held clothes. Gah. The way the US seems to want to sell Norway as an 'ally' in Iraq (Bush undearest, we did *not* support the war and stop selling that we did!) I'm not surprised Norwegians are slightly on edge. It is still unimaginable that someone would strike at tiny, tiny unimportant Norway - but the unimaginable has happened before.
Not the most cheerful of thoughts, that.
******
It was, all in all, a spectacular wake leading into a spectacular party. Sure, there had been some ‘accidents’ of the not so accidental kind, but so was to be expected when staff and students gathered together.
Of course, there were some disagreements over what the wake was for and what the party was for. The students insisted the party was for celebrating the viewing of the third movie at last and the wake for the end of the movies. The staff held the opposite view. But since the party and the wake both had a lot to drink, this was easily smoothed over.
Jess did quite enjoy herself. First there had been the viewing itself, which had gone along swimmingly (and for the students, droolingly) until Denethor had attempted to torch the movie reels, citing defamation of character. While that was being cleared up, Tylliria had attempted to sneak up on Legolas – alas for her, an Elf in the darkness is another Elf alike and Fëanor was not an Elf easily amused.
With Tylliria tied up as a mini-Balrog ‘put the tail on the pig’ toy, the screening had continued and Jess had let her Inner Luster indulge in some serious Legolas Lusting. She figured it might knock it unconscious for the rest of the year. It was after all a dangerous movie for Inner Lusters. Ellie Dragonstar, who had occupied a seat nearby, had nearly gone comatose at Pippin’s adorable Woeful Singing O’Death. Nancey in the seat below had swooned over Frodo’s chest and dribbled on her shoes. Scott Dibler had dribbled on his shoes (and poor Emilee, in the seat below him) whenever Éowyn had passed by. All in all, it had been a great indulging of the more hormonal kind.
But like all things, the movie had come to an end and the Canon Characters had cheered and popped the champagne. And so the party (or wake, depending on one’s viewpoint) had started and soon moved to the great hall.
“Good party,” Kat remarked to Jess, attempting to open yet another bottle of wine.
“You’re just saying that because you got a clear view of Faramir,” Jess replied
“Shut up.”
“Nope.”
Kat just rolled her eyes, but not in particularly hostile way. “Why is Faramir talking to Sunsong anyway?”
“He wants all oils of any kind to be put under special security in the kitchen. I guess FaraFindel shouldn’t have tried to dump Extra Virgin Oil on him after the viewing. I heard him mutter angrily about it.”
“Ah.” Kat took a moment to sip from the bottle. “He was really, really, really hot with oil though.”
“He also really, really, really belongs to Éowyn, who is likely to roast you in Extra Virgin Oil if given the chance. Really sis, you could have picked a better Object O’Lusting,” Jess snorted.
“Hah. And Thranduil is just so kind towards those lusting after his son.”
“Good point. Is there anyone it’s safe to lust after?”
“The Witch-Wall,” Melje shot in, gliding up next to the sisters with a slight grimace. “Although I suppose that has its own dangers. Have any of you seen Rusco?”
“Last I saw her, she was drowning her sorrows of Elrohir not being in movie three by the tank of Durin’s Dwarven Daiquiri Draught,” Jess replied. “Speaking of drinking, where is all the tequila gone?”
No one had a chance to answer, as a hush fell over the crowd. Galadriel had stepped forward on the podium, looking grim.
“The world is changed. I feel it in the air. I feel it in the water. Much that once was, is lost, for few who now live bother to read the book. Movie three has come.”
******
Not the most cheerful of thoughts, that.
******
It was, all in all, a spectacular wake leading into a spectacular party. Sure, there had been some ‘accidents’ of the not so accidental kind, but so was to be expected when staff and students gathered together.
Of course, there were some disagreements over what the wake was for and what the party was for. The students insisted the party was for celebrating the viewing of the third movie at last and the wake for the end of the movies. The staff held the opposite view. But since the party and the wake both had a lot to drink, this was easily smoothed over.
Jess did quite enjoy herself. First there had been the viewing itself, which had gone along swimmingly (and for the students, droolingly) until Denethor had attempted to torch the movie reels, citing defamation of character. While that was being cleared up, Tylliria had attempted to sneak up on Legolas – alas for her, an Elf in the darkness is another Elf alike and Fëanor was not an Elf easily amused.
With Tylliria tied up as a mini-Balrog ‘put the tail on the pig’ toy, the screening had continued and Jess had let her Inner Luster indulge in some serious Legolas Lusting. She figured it might knock it unconscious for the rest of the year. It was after all a dangerous movie for Inner Lusters. Ellie Dragonstar, who had occupied a seat nearby, had nearly gone comatose at Pippin’s adorable Woeful Singing O’Death. Nancey in the seat below had swooned over Frodo’s chest and dribbled on her shoes. Scott Dibler had dribbled on his shoes (and poor Emilee, in the seat below him) whenever Éowyn had passed by. All in all, it had been a great indulging of the more hormonal kind.
But like all things, the movie had come to an end and the Canon Characters had cheered and popped the champagne. And so the party (or wake, depending on one’s viewpoint) had started and soon moved to the great hall.
“Good party,” Kat remarked to Jess, attempting to open yet another bottle of wine.
“You’re just saying that because you got a clear view of Faramir,” Jess replied
“Shut up.”
“Nope.”
Kat just rolled her eyes, but not in particularly hostile way. “Why is Faramir talking to Sunsong anyway?”
“He wants all oils of any kind to be put under special security in the kitchen. I guess FaraFindel shouldn’t have tried to dump Extra Virgin Oil on him after the viewing. I heard him mutter angrily about it.”
“Ah.” Kat took a moment to sip from the bottle. “He was really, really, really hot with oil though.”
“He also really, really, really belongs to Éowyn, who is likely to roast you in Extra Virgin Oil if given the chance. Really sis, you could have picked a better Object O’Lusting,” Jess snorted.
“Hah. And Thranduil is just so kind towards those lusting after his son.”
“Good point. Is there anyone it’s safe to lust after?”
“The Witch-Wall,” Melje shot in, gliding up next to the sisters with a slight grimace. “Although I suppose that has its own dangers. Have any of you seen Rusco?”
“Last I saw her, she was drowning her sorrows of Elrohir not being in movie three by the tank of Durin’s Dwarven Daiquiri Draught,” Jess replied. “Speaking of drinking, where is all the tequila gone?”
No one had a chance to answer, as a hush fell over the crowd. Galadriel had stepped forward on the podium, looking grim.
“The world is changed. I feel it in the air. I feel it in the water. Much that once was, is lost, for few who now live bother to read the book. Movie three has come.”
******
Cunning Plans (or why too much Blackadder warps your mind)
Date: 2004-03-15 11:12 pm (UTC)As the newest Evil Associate (#46 - Evil Plotter of Cunning Plans) I feel I must pass on some of the Cunning Plans I have concocted recently.
Cunning Plans (please forward to the appropriate staff members):
Lord Elrond - Next time someone suggests that 10 is the number of the Fellowship, try reducing the number of their fingers to nine. Hopefully this will remind them what the number of counting REALLY is.
Legolas (and anyone else plagued by bad singing and poetry) - Try throwing raw eggs at the offender. Aside from being "icky", the smell should attract hordes of minis.
Legolas - Subtly (preferably through students) suggest to Sauron that Morgoth claimed he was the best Dark Lord because HE could convert more Legolusters to lusting after himself. Suggest that Sauron claimed the inverse to Morgoth. The resulting evil plans might reduce the number of your lusters. Maybe. If not, it'll still be fun to watch.
Legolas - Ask Gandalf to make some chocolates. Put these in a large heart shaped box with lots of ribbon and lace and write "For Legolas's True Love" on a big sign pointing to it. The ensuing chaos as 300 fangirls fight over who is truly your "True Love" should keep them from tormenting you for a while.
Re: Cunning Plans (or why too much Blackadder warps your mind)
Date: 2004-03-18 07:49 am (UTC)I think Thranduil would have just a few things to say to Orlando Bloom...
And there's no such thing as too much Blackadder.
Re: Cunning Plans (or why too much Blackadder warps your mind)
Date: 2004-03-18 10:24 pm (UTC)Another idea occured to me today and it's chock full of poetic justice. Since Mr. Jackson saw fit to delete Eowyn and Faramir's romance from the movies, he can sleep (or rather, not get any sleep) in Boromir's room for the duration of his stay at OFUM! Muahhahahahaha!
no subject
Date: 2004-03-22 11:16 am (UTC)List? There's an OFUM list? Where? Can I sign up?
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2004-03-16 11:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-03-18 07:50 am (UTC)*purrs happily*
Date: 2004-03-16 12:18 pm (UTC)Loved the Hormonal droolfest.
Felt mildly sorry for Tylliria. Jumping Feanor baad idea. Does he have any lusters I wonder? The Nutty bastard.... *gets glower from Feanor in Head* I mean the Charming Chap has taken up residence in my head. It makes life rather disconcerting at times.
Are there going to be canon ripples like when Book five of Harry Potter came out?
Re: *purrs happily*
Date: 2004-03-18 07:53 am (UTC)As for Canon ripples - no. Canon is and will always be the books at OFUM. And since the books are all written and the author gone, there will be no new Canon. Especially since the Headmaster is Tolkien - you think he'd see the movies as Canon?
I know plenty of Feanor lusters
Date: 2004-03-21 09:50 pm (UTC)Re: I know plenty of Feanor lusters
From:Re: I know plenty of Feanor lusters
From: (Anonymous) - Date: 2004-03-25 03:00 am (UTC) - ExpandRe: *purrs happily*
Date: 2004-03-24 01:27 pm (UTC)Whoops. You're right. My bad. *sporks self*
*has sudden image of Feanor in Leather*
*drools*
Hrmm...Seems I might be one of his Lusters, Oh dear.
no subject
Date: 2004-03-16 01:09 pm (UTC)Suddenly people started getting overly jumpy about things that never used to matter...
The Witch-Wall? SAFE?
no subject
Date: 2004-03-18 07:58 am (UTC)And the Witch-Wall can't chase you down a hill and into a Weekly Uruk-Hai Nudist Mudbath unlike say Legolas. So, from a certain point of view, he is safe to lust. He'd probably just find it flattering.
Of course, that might hold its own dangers...
no subject
Date: 2004-03-25 11:01 am (UTC)Cheers, Iona (and Fraamir the Mini-Balrog)
no subject
Date: 2004-03-16 03:28 pm (UTC)-Agent Hal
Evil Associate #42
Department of Mary Sues, LotR
no subject
Date: 2004-03-18 07:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-03-17 02:48 pm (UTC)At any rate, thankee for the sneak peak. I got some much needed laughs out of it. I'm looking forward to the rest. God dag, *waves*
The Lady Hawke
no subject
Date: 2004-03-18 08:14 am (UTC)Alas, the blame for the Shrub using Norway as an 'ally' cannot wholy be placed just on him. It must also be put on our government, who sat firmly on the fence during the Iraq war debate and decided to send some military engineeers to Iraq after the war to help reconstruction. The government did say we could not particpate in a war without UN approval, but very politely so. Despite that, the bloody American ambassador to Norway warned Norway that opposing the US war would 'destroy the good friendship' between our two countries. Gotta love it when we're on one level sold as an ally in Iraq, and on the other threatened because we don't agree with the war. Ho hum.
But anyway, the point is that it is partly my own government's fault for having the spine of a jellyfish and not properly standing up for our anti-war stance.
Hmm, wonder what would happen if we mated Norway's jellyfish-spined PM with the Shrub...?
(no subject)
From: (Anonymous) - Date: 2004-03-19 03:04 pm (UTC) - Expand(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From: (Anonymous) - Date: 2004-03-20 04:50 pm (UTC) - Expand(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From: (Anonymous) - Date: 2004-03-22 10:17 pm (UTC) - Expand(no subject)
From:Thanks for the links
From: (Anonymous) - Date: 2004-03-23 07:18 am (UTC) - ExpandHow to fight terrorism? There's a question for the ages...
From:It's 9am already!
Date: 2004-03-18 12:12 pm (UTC)Hmm... a Weekly Uruk-Hai Nudist Mudbath could be quite interesting...
Re: It's 9am already!
Date: 2004-03-19 07:17 am (UTC)Why not?
From:Re: Why not?
From:Let the fun begin!
From:Re: Let the fun begin!
From:Re: Let the fun begin!
From:May I be permitted to worship you?
Date: 2004-03-19 05:24 am (UTC)Re: May I be permitted to worship you?
Date: 2004-03-19 07:27 am (UTC)Glad you enjoyed the stories. Worshipping will probably be bad for my ego, however. *smacks it down* Bad ego, baaaad.
Re: May I be permitted to worship you?
From:Re: May I be permitted to worship you?
From:Re: May I be permitted to worship you?
Date: 2004-03-19 07:38 am (UTC)So Peter mangled the movies a little...
The man IS a genius!
Go watch Meet The Feebles, Bad Taste or Braindead!
It's a pity he had to make the movies appeal to morons, but he did do a good job.
He proberly isn't responsible for all the dyslexic fanbints Out There*.
BTW, meh lub the Zoe&Alie pic.
*In the Gerbil Pit known as ff.net.
Re: May I be permitted to worship you?
From:Re: May I be permitted to worship you?
From:Re: May I be permitted to worship you?
From:Re: May I be permitted to worship you?
From:Re: May I be permitted to worship you?
From:EEP?
From:Re: May I be permitted to worship you?
From:Re: May I be permitted to worship you?
From:Re: May I be permitted to worship you?
From:ARGH!!!
From:Looks good!
Date: 2004-03-22 01:02 pm (UTC)I agree that Gimli should get some time with PJ. The poor Dwarf. *quietly indulges in some slight fangirlish swooning over him* It's Lina's fault, actually, that I like him! *runs away from a furious Lina*
Miss Cam- when Bush made his State of the Union address and listed Norway as one of our Allies, I was thinking of you.
Re: Looks good!
Date: 2004-03-23 07:44 am (UTC)I hope you thought of me giving him the Death Glare of Doom, because that was what I was doing. He'd even put up our flag. *shudders*
Re: Looks good!
From:Re: Looks good!
From:Re: Looks good!
From:State Of the Union
Date: 2004-05-14 02:31 pm (UTC)