How to Get Camilla to Like You

[misscam]

So, I now and then get new people contacting me, friending me, wanting to get to know me etc. But me being me, I'm not always the easiest person to get to know or to convince you're someone likeable. Thus I present (drumroll, please!)

A Guide to Improving Your Likability to the Ever Beatific Miss Cam

- Camilla is Norwegian. Thus she thinks, speaks and bonds as a Norwegian. What works on charming an American may not work on her. To make a true effort, studies of Norwegian in the field may come in very handy.

- Camilla's Norwegianness makes her uncomfortable around too much praise. Therefore distribute your compliments with care.

- Be honest. Camilla does not much care for lying even if you meant to spare her feelings.

- Don't be vague and hinting. Be blunt and truthful. Camilla does not much care for "hinting" at favours you might want or certain people she knows that you don't like or whatever else you're dying to say. Shut up or speak up.

- Camilla is Norwegian and therefore does not care for phrases such as "God Bless America" to appear in her e-mails or recieved LJ comments.

- Camilla is not Christian, nor muslim, Buddhist, Wiccan or Hindu. She has no desire to be so either. Do not attempt to "save" her. She will not thank you. Do not assume she has chosen atheism because she knows no better.

- Don't try too hard. Camilla will not expect you to always agree with her nor to read everything she has ever written.

- Camilla loves her silly little country very much, but she does not expect you to nor for you to know all about it. She's very happy to answer question. She's not so happy if you assume something you've read in a Conservative magazine or seen in a movie somewhere is the truth.

- Friendships take time. Don't forward happy friends bunnies on your first week of knowing Camilla. In fact, don't send forwards at all unless it's something quite extraordinary. And kill the bunnies.

- Research pays off. Camilla has her likes and is always happy to chat about them. If you find interest you have in common, casually dropping them into a conversation will probably stimulate Camilla to pay more attention (as she often multi-tasks, this can be essential to have any kind of conversation at all).

- Camilla does not want a mini-her. You will not like all she does so don't pretend to. Sometimes, she'll find some of your interests more interesting than what she is currently digging. Sometimes she won't. (The key to spotting this is very often how many "indeed" she will give you. A great many of them in a short time span is usually your indication that it's time to change the subject.)

- Camilla cares about news and current affairs. She pays attention to what happens around the world and likes to ponder about the problems of the world in great detail and study them. But if you feel you're not too knowledgable about just why Iraqis don't like Americans these days, fear not. If you can stimulate interest, Camilla loves to share knowledge. She's very happy to give people something new to think about. She's also happy to get something new to think about from you.

- Though she will sometimes deny it, Camilla is in fact an optimist and is generally fairly overbearing. Her good mood will not be ruined if you misspell her name or confuse Norway with Sweden. But it is still advised against, as it using netspeak, many exclamation marks, pink fonts, happy bunnies and worst of all assume that she has no life outside of OFUM and read every review/answer spin-off requests on the day/will bend the rules for you/will help you track down the mini just you want.

- Camilla did in fact write OFUM. But that's not who she is. She has a life, she writes other stuff and above all, she likes to get e-mails about other things.

- Camilla doesn't need to know every detail of your life and will not give you hers. If you want to share or have a shoulder to wail on, Camilla will be sympathetic, but not if you do it evey day. Too much whining she finds repulsive (yes, in herself as well).

- Sarcasms, insults and vaguely insulting nicknames is what Camilla gives all her friends as well those she dislikes. Learn which category you're in before you draw conclutions.

- Bush is not Camilla's favourite being on earth. If you like him, she will forgive you, but it's best to keep the Bush praise for you local Republican get-together. Camilla's already heard it and it has not lessened her dislike of him one bit. Spare yourself the effort and just shake your head over her instead.

- Camilla favours gay marriage and adoption rights, the right to choose abortion for women by women, free healthcare, seperation of church and state, sex before marriage, women's rights, multiculturalism, political correctness, the UN, foreign aid, education for all, state control over certain areas (such as for instancethe energy market and healthcare), human rights, sports, freedom of beliefs, the resposibility of the media as a watchdog, ethical guidelines for the medica that they will be held to, ethical guidelines for politicians (and their election campaigns) that they will be held to, protection of the environment even at a cost, laws against animal abuse, the freedom to do whatever the heck you want in your own private bedroom as long as it's consensual and hurts no one (unless it's S&M and you want pain), leather, stricter drug laws against the sellers not the users, stricter laws on white collar crimes, the banning of all torture, trout-slamming for all who sneers about "political correctness" and protection of minorities.

- Camilla disapproves of racism, nazism, women having to stay home while the man works rather than by choice, segregation, the death penalty, fundamentalism, the bureaucracy of the EU, double standards, neo-conservatives, plagiarism, good/evil - black/white visions of the world, unethical media behaviour, checkbook journalism, the NRA, Norwegian naval-gazing, hamburgers, child labour, whining, exploitation of the devolping world, cheating in sports, pink, not caring about spelling and grammar, pretensious twarts, invoking God to do things in your name that would embarrass even Satan, spanking and smacking of children and politicial TV ads.

- If you have written a story, you can ask Camilla for an opinion. But she does not have the time to read all and just because you might like some of her stuff does not mean she will like yours.

- Just because she doesn't say much doesn't mean Camilla is not interested in what you have to say. She may be thinking it over or maybe she just felt it needed no greater comment. She doesn't always feel the need to make great speeches to everything.

- Camilla is notoriously bad at watching her AIM or MSN. The wise iniates conversation with her and grab her attention. The unwise may get mould growing on them.

- Camilla is human. She will have a bad day, get annoyed at you, be insulted by what to you seemed harmless, hold grudges, snap at people, have pride, fuck up, make bad jokes, curse and say the wrong thing. If you like her despite this, she might like you despite your flaws as well.

Comments

[nirix5.livejournal.com]

Speaking of Norway, my mother's friend who lives there just sent us a bunch of beautiful pictures from her summer vacation... all those beautiful mountain lakes! I can't remember the names off the top of my head; I'll go find them when I get home. You have a beeeeautiful country.

Also, I read your CSI fic posted on ff.n, and I liked it very much. Are you going to be writing more any time soon?

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Yes, I am rather partial to this rugged and weatherhard country of mine :)

Which CSI ic? I think I have three. And yes, it's entirely possible I will write more, but I shall have to be bitten by a very good plotbunny first.

[sinneahtes.livejournal.com]

Heehee... I love "guidebooks" people write about themselves, they're usually so interesting. Especially when written in 3rd person. :D (I'm such a nosy person, even when I don't speak up. ^_^;)

Just curious after seeing your name written so many times in this entry -- how do you pronounce "Camilla" (the vowels, I mean -- like Kuh-mill-uh or Ka-mee-la or something else?) I know how it's usually pronounced with an American English accent, but I have no idea whether yours is pronounced the same way...

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Definitely more Ka-mee-la than ther other one, but not quite. Ka-mil-a (mil as how you would pronounce it in millenium). It's not as drawn out in Norwegian as in English. Hard vowel sounds.

[bjam1402.livejournal.com]

You disapprove of hamburgers? Wow... Is there a backstory behind this disapproving of food?

As for my studying of Norway? Never done any. All I really know is it's a country "up there and over that little bit of sea" and could probably place it vaguely well on the map. Oh! When I was seven or so, you guys had a Eurovision entry that I really liked but no one in my family did. *shrugs* Anything else I've picked up have been little bits and pieces from your LJ.

This list has gotten me all paranoid now. 'S why I rarely IM people unless I have to/know them very well/know they won't mind me IMing them. It's the same thing with making phonecalls, I'm worried I'm gonna disturb them or something.

[elenculda.livejournal.com]

I'm seconding the 'Why Hamburgers?' question. Are you a vegetarian or is there something in particular you don't like about hamburgers?

[misscam.livejournal.com]

I hate the taste and no fan of McDonalds either. I don't like homemade hamburgers either, so it's mostly a taste thing. My brother eats them all the time, of course. Gah.

Well, as I said up there, I am mostly pretty overbearing. I rarely get snippy at people even if they do annoy me. And as long as I don't have any 'do not disturb' message up on AIM, I'm rather expecting to get IMed.

[perepip.livejournal.com]

*points at icon* You and Saruman don't have that much in common, it would seem. ^_^

Hm...well, if I implement a couple of things on this list, I should get/stay in Camilla's good graces...

The only thing I want is to not be her enemy. And to write fanfiction that wouldn't lead her to believe I need enroling in OFUM. *shudders* If I wrote anything like that, I think I would probably drive off a cliff.

Anyhow, Miss Camilla, thank you for the list. I will keep my pro-Bush, pro-life sentiments for my own LJ, eh? *grin*

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Usually best to avoid doing Bush-praise here, yes. Unless of course I'm inviting to a debate, in which case you can jump in - but never ever ever use God in an argument why I should agree with you (it may be why you believe something, but I don't believe thus the argument is void on me). I've had people do that and it drives me hopping bad. It's a ticket straight to the Camillian dog house.

And another god advice - if one is to argue with me on various opinions, one's only source of news should not be Fox News.

Pink's an evil colour.

[nenya_kanadka]

I think I just friended you, so I certainly fit in the "should read the above FAQ" file. :)

All I know about Norway--other than you--is the little I know from my best friend at college, who is Iranian/Norwegian. Found out that I could navigate some of the basics of her computer (which was labelled in Norwegian) just because it was Windows, but at a certain point I had to give up and get her to translate the menu bars for me.

Shall do my best not to constantly bring up OFUM. :) It must be rough being famous, but you seem to have handled it pretty well. Haven't seen you bite too many heads off, yet, so.... :)

Namarie for the present.

--NenyaQuende

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Iranian/Norwegian? Well, there's an interesting combination.

I wouldn't exactly call myself famous. Somehwta known in a specific corner of online life, perhaps. But when I was younger, my dad was pretty known here in Norway, so I have a certain amount of experience with "fame" I guess.

Is that a Bajoran on your icon? *squints*

[reia.livejournal.com]

Ok, I'll admit I know next to nothing about Norway... So what does "Norwegian naval-gazing" mean? Do many Norwegians sit around watching ships?

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Our Viking ships, don't ya know? Our proudest historical period, the Viking age. We wish we were still that influential. We're not.

[mademoisellenon.livejournal.com]

*Blink* I won't even attempt to make a witty comment to this ;) But you are undoubtedly one of the most fascinating people I've ever met. And enough with the compliments. You're not getting any for September. Off to research Norway as I want to go there (and to Iceland) next summer. Most definitely on my list are Hammerfest and Bergen. Au revoir from Finland in 450 B.C.

[anckyria.livejournal.com]

Finland in 450 B.C.

So, how do you find my little Nordic country?

asks Iona the Finn, who's always happy to notice people know something about her homeland

[misscam.livejournal.com]

If going to Bergen, bring rainproof clothing and an umbrella. If going to Hammerfest, bring warm clothing. Even in summer.

I shall monitor you carefully this month so you make no more compliments ;)

[megaera-1.livejournal.com]

I LOVE your icon.

That is all.

[the-factionlair.livejournal.com]

I'll do my best to remember those, although to be honest, I haven't really made much of an effort, merely a few comments here and there.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

It's quite okay not to get to know me and just lurk, too. I'm not that fabelous that everyone has to know me.

Naval-gazing?

[jocelyncs.livejournal.com]

Do I even WANT to know?!

Well, I do hope I may claim a shoulder to bawl on from you, my understanding, fellow-Bush-hater, because...I think we're dead. Preliminary reports following the RNC are suggesting that Dubya now has a double-digit lead against Kerry. Barring a miracle...we're dead. And being non-religious myself, I don't believe in miracles.

Would you believe that sleazebag actually invoked THE SCHOOL MASSACRE IN RUSSIA FOR HIS FRICKIN' CAMPAIGN?! Wait, what am I saying? Who wouldn't believe it? What IS sacred to the bastard?

And he's winning. The most powerful nation in the world is going to be under his thumb for another four years. Canada is looking prettier and prettier lately.

(Sniffle!)

Re: Naval-gazing?

[norwegianne.livejournal.com]

Would you believe that sleazebag actually invoked THE SCHOOL MASSACRE IN RUSSIA FOR HIS FRICKIN' CAMPAIGN?! Wait, what am I saying? Who wouldn't believe it? What IS sacred to the bastard?


One of the Norwegian newspapers commented on the fact that it all happened while Bush was preaching in New York on how the world had become a safer place... yeah.

You must remember that it ain't over 'till the fat lady has sung. Election Day isn't yet. He still has time to make an even bigger fool out of himself. Though he doesn't really need much more time for that.

You don't need to go to Canada, you can come to Norway. We're very including. Mostly.

Re: Naval-gazing?

[misscam.livejournal.com]

There, there. Have some chocolate. As Norwegianne said, it ain't over yet. A month is a long time in politics.

And if worst come to pass, we'll just have to invade, now won't we?

The man has no shame using both Olympics and now this tragedy to sell himself. And has previously used Norway. Bite me, Bush.

[norwegianne.livejournal.com]

- Camilla's Norwegianness makes her uncomfortable around too much praise. Therefore distribute your compliments with care.


It seems to be part of our genetic make-up code.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Janteloven in with the mother's milk.

[elvea-aure.livejournal.com]

I'm amazed I didn't drop a comment at the time this was posted- it's a rather interesting list, it says a lot, and I agree with pretty much all. You were right- I phrased certain things pretty similarly. It must have left some form of impression back then. :)