Wah Wah Wank?

[misscam]

Things Cam Wants to Do, But Probably Shouldn't:

Tell GAFF to STFU with the drama already.
Start an Official Fanfiction University of CSI
Send a virus to the sender of a prayer chainletter that ended with "sit back and watch the power of God work in your life." (Cam is a happy little atheist.)
Start a Catherine/Warrick fanfic archive
Pelt the Norwegian defence minister with trout
Shout at utterly pointless reviews
Rewrite her LotR Sue to see if it could be made good
Pathetically whimper for good unpointless reviews
Go out and get laid as inspiration for smut
Pig out on chocolate

Seriously, what is with all the drama of late? Not only GAFF, my people on my flist, too. Huh. I'm worrying I'm going to be inflicted and sprout into some massive "wah wah wank" any day soon. Maybe it's something in the cables. Maybe there should be fake-wank places people could go to and work all the drama out of their systems. Wouldn't the world (read: Internet) be much better and have cuter kittens?

Yeah, maybe not.

And for today's entry in Fanfic Author Appreciation Week - Altariel. Writes a lot of Faramir/Éowyn. Propbably best known for the epic A Game of Chess, but my favourite piece is still Through a Glass. She also writes some interesting interpretations of Denethor and a little bit of Star Trek on the side.

Comments

[belegcuthalion.livejournal.com]

Rewrite her LotR Sue to see if it could be made good.

Oh???

Pathetically whimper for good unpointless reviews.

Poor dear. *pats your back* Believe me, it can get worse: now reviews at all.

My favorite piece by Altariel is still the very first piece of her I ever translated: Lady of Silences.

[dawning-star.livejournal.com]

OFUC?

Could I be an instructor? ;)

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Oh.

I know, I know, I of all people shouldn't whine about lack of reviews. It's just so nice to get reviews of some substance.

Yeah, that's a beautiful Finduilas piece. Bu depresses the heck out of me.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

... Maybe. If I somehow lured myself into starting it, that is.

[dawning-star.livejournal.com]

If you need motivation, read most of the crap they offer at ff.net. It's enough to make me want to take away their keyboards and strangle them with the cables.

[aervir.livejournal.com]

Tell GAFF to STFU with the drama already.

Which drama? There's always going on so much wank genuine tragedy in at least one thread... But if you are talking about the What if Elves found out about GAFF? orgy, I will agree.

Start an Official Fanfiction University of CSI

Not before you have finished OFUM2. Pleeease! *tries to give you a puppy-eyed look* Or maybe I should just become a CSI fan in order to appreciate it. Might be a bit hard to manage without a TV, though.

Pelt the Norwegian defence minister with trout

Many politicians probably deserve a similar treatment, but -- why him?

Rewrite her LotR Sue to see if it could be made good

*vbg* Was it a Legomance? :)

And I'll third the altariel1 love. It is so incredibly hard to get decent Faramir/Éowyn fics that I find myself desperately re-reading A Game of Chess every now and then. Even if my favourites are actually In A Stone City and The Permanent Stars.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Why do you think I'm feeling the urge to write it, hmm? I came, I read, I Whimpered.

That was Warrick-rapes-Catherine fanfic alone was enough to drive me to write up a few serious lessons.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Orgy and ensuing Heywood/Knorg fic baluba.

I know, I know, should finish OFUM2 already. But I keep getting distracted by shiny objects - fickle mind. Maybe I should lock myself in a room for a week and finish it. Except I'd probably get distracted by redoing my room or something. Sigh.

Yes. It was a dreaded Legomance. You may spank me.

[dawning-star.livejournal.com]

I forced myself to read a thing that had Sara committing suicide over Grissom. >:[

[misscam.livejournal.com]

I read one where Grissom raped Sara.

Been collecting misspellings, too.

Sra
Katherine
Gill
Cathryn
Sarah
John Brass
nick strokes
sidel
willow
grisom
warwick
al brass

[aervir.livejournal.com]

Maybe I should lock myself in a room for a week and finish it. Except I'd probably get distracted by redoing my room or something. Sigh.

Sounds like me whenever I try to finish an assignment for my EngLit classes. The last time I ended up sorting my garbage.

And my stern OFUM2 admonitions weren't really meant seriously...

Yes. It was a dreaded Legomance. You may spank me.

Well, at least you wouldn't go for Faramir and thus be spanked by Éowyn. :)

[dawning-star.livejournal.com]

Would they be mini-Balrogs at OFUC? Or mini lab technicians?

[misscam.livejournal.com]

I don't know. Been trying to come up with a good mini form for CSI and rather failed. They can't be mini-Balrogs, obviously. Mini-cops? Mini-CSIs? Field kits with legs?

*ponders*

[velocityofsound.livejournal.com]

Nick Strokes is totally legit, if followed by the proper proper noun. :)

I've run across 2 GSR fics involving rape or something very close, one of which I read unknowingly as it was rather short and made my blood boil, and the other that as soon as I figured out what it was, skipped to the end and found ended in "true wub," which enraged me so much that I almost fired off a nasty, flame-ridden review, but eventually decided not to waste my time.

Ugh. AH! BOO. Assholes.

And I want to see CSI FanFic U!

Lesson #1, Math.
Warrick + Catherine = The Sex. :)

[misscam.livejournal.com]

I'm too busy finding Faramir and Éowyn lovely together to go after Faramir.

I really should finish OFUM2, though. Except then people would nag me for a OFUM3.

[aervir.livejournal.com]

I'm too busy finding Faramir and Éowyn lovely together to go after Faramir.

Not in the least tempted by raven-haired, angsty, poetic, compassionate, gentle,
scholarly-geeky, hot, oiled and happily married Gondorians? ;)

Except then people would nag me for a OFUM3.

Not if you end OFUM2 with the Dagor Dagorad. Only that Morgoth wins and blows up the Internet.

[chem-nerd.livejournal.com]

Definitely field kits with legs. Please, write it. I made the mistake of looking through ff.net, and I think I've been traumatized for life. *slips OFUCSI plotbunnies an aphrodisiac*

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Snerk. Yeah, but alas, it wasn't.

Having "twu wub" between the rapist and the victim is even worse than the rape itself - hello, it's a crime, an act of abuse and massive trauma for the woman! Not something you suddenly end up forgiving and forgetting.

Heh. That would be some lesson (and warp some innocent little minds, probably). It would be based on the concept of a story I wrote called The Official Fanfiction University of Middle-earth, which has had several people write spin-ofs of it for a whole bunch of fandoms. But not CSI and I'm feeling the urge to just do it myself.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

That's what fantasies are for, dear. No break-up of my favourite couple and I can still ogle the niceness that is Faramir.

Hah! Dagor Dagornath would make an interesting end for OFUM all right - but maybe not. Besides, I know the ending.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

*fights off rabid plotbunnies* Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

I hear ya with the trauma.

[aervir.livejournal.com]

That's what fantasies are for, dear.

A very wise argument. Ignoring it somehow has the tendency to launch a thousand badfics and burn my synapses down... :D

Besides, I know the ending.

Oh, the suspense!

[hydrangea777.livejournal.com]

Seriously, what is with all the drama of late? Not only GAFF, my people on my flist, too. Huh. I'm worrying I'm going to be inflicted and sprout into some massive "wah wah wank" any day soon.

But darling, I don't wank, I face genuinely heartbreaking tragedy in my life! *swoons amidst the caterwauling of tiny violins*

I mean, just look at the horrible nature of my life! I'm part of a loving, upper-middle-class family, I get most things I want as long as I ask nicely, I get nice grades, and... my casual crush doesn't return my feelings. *collapses in the agony of it all*

No seriously, if you think I'm wanking too much, just tell me. I have a tendency to be melodramatic, in case you haven't figured that out already. ^_~

Besides, I have a shameful, disgusting love for- *gasp*- GAFF wank. It's getting rather fun, really, as long as I don't do anything to instigate it or really participate it. I'm like one of the bloodthirsty spectators at the Circus Maximus- I just love bloodshed when I'm not the one shedding blood. ^_^

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Fantasies are best in one's head, I say. ;)

[misscam.livejournal.com]

I read at F_W, so I'm hardly one to go 'OMG, how dare you laugh at the draaaaamah!' I just prefer my sources of snerking not to be the same ones over and over again. Variation is good.

I weel your wangst, babe. I feel it all the way to my black, pityless heart. *plays tiny hardanger fiddle for you*

[velocityofsound.livejournal.com]

Woah. That IS AWESOME. You should totally do it, along with a few other things on your list. (Chocolate, getting laid, and the trout pelting- in order of priority.)

Seriously, AWESOME. Blah blah blah LOTR fans, they already got OFUM1, they don't need OFUM2. :)