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misscamCSI drabble by yours truly
I was amused by this entry on the path of a fanfic author. And it got me thinking about my path. And thus I present (drumroll, please!)
Tales of Cam (Or How An Author Lost Her Exclamation Mark Fetish).
Behold, excerpts of writings of Cam and much that will make you groan. A lot. Remember, some of this was written when Cam was a wangsty teenager, so read with care. And possibly a blindfold.
From Cam's First Online Published Fic (Janeway/Chakotay, ST: Voyager):
"I love you." She seemed to stiffen at his words, then fixed her gaze on him.
"I do love you, Chakotay. But how can you..."
"Hushhhhh..." His voice was purring.
"This is not the night for regrets. This is a night of life, new beginnings and you and me. That is, of course, if you want me to stay...?"
She grapped hold of him, made him loose balance and fall on the bed. As soon as he did, she quickly got on top of him.
"If you even think of leaving, I`ll throw you out an airlock!!"
He could see the laughter in her eyes, the joy.
"Careful, I`m a wounded man!!"
****
Cam Writes Adults as Teenagers (same fandom, same pairing):
“Chakotay??!!!???” she screamed, and surely, there he was, snoring just a little bit. And as naked as the day he was born, with a giant hickey she knew she was to blame for.
Red spots began colouring her cheeks as she remembered just what they had done last night..
They’d ditched everyone else in the mess hall, and she’d invited Chakotay for some real drinks in her quarters. They had finished the whole bottle of Romulan ale! No wonder she felt like crap… But, there was more emerging from her mind..
The red spots grew larger.
Because then she’d come up with the brilliant idea of sneaking into her ready room, and there they had.. Oh God…
“On my desk??!!??” she hissed.
And then another piece of memory got jogged too.
“Twice???!!!!”
And...
“IN THE TURBOLIFT????!!!!???”
*****
Cam Does Self-Inserts and Urple Titles (same fandom, same pairing):
In Darkness Find Me And Let Me Lead You On the Path of Light (Epilouge)
"Aunt?"
Kathryn Janeway looked up from her PADD to see her niese stand in the doorway.
"Yes, Camilla, sweetheart, what is it?"
The girl still stood in the doorway, obviously heistant. Her brown-reddish hair was down for the occation, her face was greatly troubled
"Something has happened. I..."
Taking a deep breath, the 18 year old girl seemed to waver between turning back or continue on the path she had set.
*****
Cam Writes Bad Smut (same pairing, same fandom):
Without another word he pulled her to him. She didn`t resist, her eyes locked in his, telling him all he needed to know.
The story of a love. A patient love that had waited for years. A respectfull love.
And allconsuming.
They made love slowly, exploring each other throughfully, not rushing, saving every moment. Like two souls finally found each other seeking comfort in one another. He touched every part of her, as she did with his. And never letting go off each others eyes. Small moans as he started kissing her legs and moving upwards. Quiet cries as his climax matched hers.
Finally they fell asleep, their bodies tangeled in each other. And the feeling of change laid heacy in the air as never before.
*****
Cam Still Has a Exclamation Mark Fetish, But Spanks Lighter (Water Rats):
“I miss her too…”
“Not like me,” he said stubbornly.
“And what makes ya think you*re the only one to feel grief, ey?”
“I SHOULDA BEEN THERE!!!” he screamed at her. “Don’t ya understand, I LEFT HER!!!”
And the tears that had welled themselves up in him, finally burst, and suddenly Helen’s arms were holding him, comforting him.
“I left her,” he said more quietly, into her shoulder.
*****
Cam Sticks Bryan Adams Into Her Stories (Water Rats):
“Rachel?” he called out.
“So much blood Frank.. There was so much blood,” she whispered. He put his hands around her, not really knowing what to do.
For in the end you carried grief alone. Sure, people would be around you, support you, give you a hug when you needed one and listen to you bitch about how unfair it was. But when it came down to it, in the darkness where you could not hide from your thought… You carried the grief alone.
All alone.
*******
For someone to rely on and a shoulder to cry on
You can depend on me
If you're in need of some kindness
And you can't seem to find it
You can depend on me
Well there ain't no need to worry you know we'll get along
Those dark clouds may surround you
But together we'll be strong
Like sister to brother - father to mother
We live for each other - we're lover to lover
As deep as an ocean - filled with emotion
I'm forever open - can't you see
Baby you can depend on me
Depend on me - depend on me
********
Cam Writes a Legolas Romance (Lord of the Rings):
“My father is dead,” came a clear voice from behind them, and Legolas turned. For a brief second he thought he was looking at Queen Arwen herself, undiminished in beauty.
Then the woman stepped out of the shadows and the illusion was broken.
She was Arwen and yet not Arwen. Her long, darkish hair was tied up in a more human fashion, and the clothes she wore were unmistakably human. Yet her eyes shone with the light of the Eveningstar.
“I am Aneana,” she said, as if anticipating the question. Even before she said it, Legolas knew who it had to be her, the youngest daughter of Arwen and Aragorn. No other could mirror the beauty of her mother and courage of her father.
*****
Cam Writes Humour and Is Suddenly Hailed as Funny and Gives Gimli the Girl (Lord of the Rings):
Lina tried to listen, she really did
But in her mind a mental image hid
Of darling Gimli in the buff
Handsome, sweet and oh so tough
It was nearly enough to make her drool
And not think about that silly fool
Who went 'eeew' at the mention of a dwarf
And should be thrown off a wharf
She really had become quite smitten
He made her feel like a naughty kitten
Love was an odd little thing
At least it didn't make her sing
Like certain people tried to do
So that they might Legolas woo
Sadly, elves had quite sensitive ears
And the singing only caused tears
No, lusting and loving were not the same
Love was the fire, lust was the flame
Legolas was mighty fine to behold
But to Gimli her heart was sold
Frodo was cute and sweet to hug
But he did not fill her blood like a drug
And Morgoth was evil and really no good
Despite what he might hide under his hood
*****
Cam Is Lured to Slash (Lord of the Rings, Legolas/Gimli):
“I need you,” the Elf said more softly. “Never has an elf grown to rely so much on a dwarf, and his gruff words and snoring at night. When I sing of you, it will be words of praise. What can I give to comfort you but that?”
“A kiss,” Gimli muttered. He did not realise what he had said until he saw the elf's startled expression.
“Legolas…”
“Nay. Say nothing, Gimli son of Glóin. You ask odd things of the elves. But I offered you what comfort I could give and I will give it,” Legolas interrupted. “Then you will sleep, my friend, lest I knock you down to force you to rest.”
Gimli stared at him, wondering if it was a dream, and if it was, if he could remain within it always.
The elf leaned forward, his golden hair mixing with Gimli's own black in the wind. Light and dark, elf and dwarf, immortal and mortal.
And then all thoughts abandon the dwarf as lips softer than autumn rain met his own.
*****
Cam Discovers CSI and Has Learned to Spell 'Epilogue' (Grissom/Sara):
He clung onto her voice, biting into the cotton fabric, stifling the pain. Darkness became grey, grey became black. The sky. Star-filled, beautiful sky. Whispering, treacherous sky. There was peace in the sky. There was never peace below it.
Tired. He was tired. The hands were still soothing his face, cool to the touch, caressing tired skin. He could sleep forever here.
He wished he had kissed her. Just once, so he could remember.
“Grissom,” Sara said insistently, but he was falling, falling, falling…
There was peace in the darkness.
*****
Cam Writes Now (CSI, Catherine/Warrick):
Vega gave a wave before driving away in a cough of smoke and trail of tyre tracks. In the distance, another car honked. But for all the sounds, it felt like only them there in the world. Warrick and Catherine and the dying sun.
"I almost miss Eddie sometimes," she said, eyes still closed. "Not for anything he did, the asshole. But we were young together. And maybe if he was around, Lindsey would have someone else to turn to."
"Or someone else to rebel against," he pointed out. "Come on, Cath. You remember what you did at that age?"
"I made out with handsome guys like you in cars," she said softly. For a moment, all he could hear was his heartbeats, drums vibrating in his blood.
"I wasn't handsome back then," he said lightly. Beat. Beat.
"You are now."
He looked at her dark lashes, her hair falling in the fading sun and her breath curling from her lips. All life was a gamble and he could throw the dice. But the first lesson of Las Vegas was a harsh one - never gamble what you could not afford to lose. And he could ill afford to lose her. She was a friend, a colleague, a confidante and that tease of something more, that hint in her eyes...
But sometimes, even gamblers could win. And the prize... Her and Lindsey and Sunday breakfast, he the cook. A future. A family. A relationship.
She turned her head sideways and looked at him, the last rays of the sun caressing her lips and the faint colour in her cheeks. Her breath smelled of coffee and summer heat and he wondered if he could kiss the scars of age from her features. Her expression softened as she looked at him, fear and pain still haunting her face, but her eyes so bright, bright, bright...
*****
And there you are.
I was amused by this entry on the path of a fanfic author. And it got me thinking about my path. And thus I present (drumroll, please!)
Tales of Cam (Or How An Author Lost Her Exclamation Mark Fetish).
Behold, excerpts of writings of Cam and much that will make you groan. A lot. Remember, some of this was written when Cam was a wangsty teenager, so read with care. And possibly a blindfold.
From Cam's First Online Published Fic (Janeway/Chakotay, ST: Voyager):
"I love you." She seemed to stiffen at his words, then fixed her gaze on him.
"I do love you, Chakotay. But how can you..."
"Hushhhhh..." His voice was purring.
"This is not the night for regrets. This is a night of life, new beginnings and you and me. That is, of course, if you want me to stay...?"
She grapped hold of him, made him loose balance and fall on the bed. As soon as he did, she quickly got on top of him.
"If you even think of leaving, I`ll throw you out an airlock!!"
He could see the laughter in her eyes, the joy.
"Careful, I`m a wounded man!!"
****
Cam Writes Adults as Teenagers (same fandom, same pairing):
“Chakotay??!!!???” she screamed, and surely, there he was, snoring just a little bit. And as naked as the day he was born, with a giant hickey she knew she was to blame for.
Red spots began colouring her cheeks as she remembered just what they had done last night..
They’d ditched everyone else in the mess hall, and she’d invited Chakotay for some real drinks in her quarters. They had finished the whole bottle of Romulan ale! No wonder she felt like crap… But, there was more emerging from her mind..
The red spots grew larger.
Because then she’d come up with the brilliant idea of sneaking into her ready room, and there they had.. Oh God…
“On my desk??!!??” she hissed.
And then another piece of memory got jogged too.
“Twice???!!!!”
And...
“IN THE TURBOLIFT????!!!!???”
*****
Cam Does Self-Inserts and Urple Titles (same fandom, same pairing):
In Darkness Find Me And Let Me Lead You On the Path of Light (Epilouge)
"Aunt?"
Kathryn Janeway looked up from her PADD to see her niese stand in the doorway.
"Yes, Camilla, sweetheart, what is it?"
The girl still stood in the doorway, obviously heistant. Her brown-reddish hair was down for the occation, her face was greatly troubled
"Something has happened. I..."
Taking a deep breath, the 18 year old girl seemed to waver between turning back or continue on the path she had set.
*****
Cam Writes Bad Smut (same pairing, same fandom):
Without another word he pulled her to him. She didn`t resist, her eyes locked in his, telling him all he needed to know.
The story of a love. A patient love that had waited for years. A respectfull love.
And allconsuming.
They made love slowly, exploring each other throughfully, not rushing, saving every moment. Like two souls finally found each other seeking comfort in one another. He touched every part of her, as she did with his. And never letting go off each others eyes. Small moans as he started kissing her legs and moving upwards. Quiet cries as his climax matched hers.
Finally they fell asleep, their bodies tangeled in each other. And the feeling of change laid heacy in the air as never before.
*****
Cam Still Has a Exclamation Mark Fetish, But Spanks Lighter (Water Rats):
“I miss her too…”
“Not like me,” he said stubbornly.
“And what makes ya think you*re the only one to feel grief, ey?”
“I SHOULDA BEEN THERE!!!” he screamed at her. “Don’t ya understand, I LEFT HER!!!”
And the tears that had welled themselves up in him, finally burst, and suddenly Helen’s arms were holding him, comforting him.
“I left her,” he said more quietly, into her shoulder.
*****
Cam Sticks Bryan Adams Into Her Stories (Water Rats):
“Rachel?” he called out.
“So much blood Frank.. There was so much blood,” she whispered. He put his hands around her, not really knowing what to do.
For in the end you carried grief alone. Sure, people would be around you, support you, give you a hug when you needed one and listen to you bitch about how unfair it was. But when it came down to it, in the darkness where you could not hide from your thought… You carried the grief alone.
All alone.
*******
For someone to rely on and a shoulder to cry on
You can depend on me
If you're in need of some kindness
And you can't seem to find it
You can depend on me
Well there ain't no need to worry you know we'll get along
Those dark clouds may surround you
But together we'll be strong
Like sister to brother - father to mother
We live for each other - we're lover to lover
As deep as an ocean - filled with emotion
I'm forever open - can't you see
Baby you can depend on me
Depend on me - depend on me
********
Cam Writes a Legolas Romance (Lord of the Rings):
“My father is dead,” came a clear voice from behind them, and Legolas turned. For a brief second he thought he was looking at Queen Arwen herself, undiminished in beauty.
Then the woman stepped out of the shadows and the illusion was broken.
She was Arwen and yet not Arwen. Her long, darkish hair was tied up in a more human fashion, and the clothes she wore were unmistakably human. Yet her eyes shone with the light of the Eveningstar.
“I am Aneana,” she said, as if anticipating the question. Even before she said it, Legolas knew who it had to be her, the youngest daughter of Arwen and Aragorn. No other could mirror the beauty of her mother and courage of her father.
*****
Cam Writes Humour and Is Suddenly Hailed as Funny and Gives Gimli the Girl (Lord of the Rings):
Lina tried to listen, she really did
But in her mind a mental image hid
Of darling Gimli in the buff
Handsome, sweet and oh so tough
It was nearly enough to make her drool
And not think about that silly fool
Who went 'eeew' at the mention of a dwarf
And should be thrown off a wharf
She really had become quite smitten
He made her feel like a naughty kitten
Love was an odd little thing
At least it didn't make her sing
Like certain people tried to do
So that they might Legolas woo
Sadly, elves had quite sensitive ears
And the singing only caused tears
No, lusting and loving were not the same
Love was the fire, lust was the flame
Legolas was mighty fine to behold
But to Gimli her heart was sold
Frodo was cute and sweet to hug
But he did not fill her blood like a drug
And Morgoth was evil and really no good
Despite what he might hide under his hood
*****
Cam Is Lured to Slash (Lord of the Rings, Legolas/Gimli):
“I need you,” the Elf said more softly. “Never has an elf grown to rely so much on a dwarf, and his gruff words and snoring at night. When I sing of you, it will be words of praise. What can I give to comfort you but that?”
“A kiss,” Gimli muttered. He did not realise what he had said until he saw the elf's startled expression.
“Legolas…”
“Nay. Say nothing, Gimli son of Glóin. You ask odd things of the elves. But I offered you what comfort I could give and I will give it,” Legolas interrupted. “Then you will sleep, my friend, lest I knock you down to force you to rest.”
Gimli stared at him, wondering if it was a dream, and if it was, if he could remain within it always.
The elf leaned forward, his golden hair mixing with Gimli's own black in the wind. Light and dark, elf and dwarf, immortal and mortal.
And then all thoughts abandon the dwarf as lips softer than autumn rain met his own.
*****
Cam Discovers CSI and Has Learned to Spell 'Epilogue' (Grissom/Sara):
He clung onto her voice, biting into the cotton fabric, stifling the pain. Darkness became grey, grey became black. The sky. Star-filled, beautiful sky. Whispering, treacherous sky. There was peace in the sky. There was never peace below it.
Tired. He was tired. The hands were still soothing his face, cool to the touch, caressing tired skin. He could sleep forever here.
He wished he had kissed her. Just once, so he could remember.
“Grissom,” Sara said insistently, but he was falling, falling, falling…
There was peace in the darkness.
*****
Cam Writes Now (CSI, Catherine/Warrick):
Vega gave a wave before driving away in a cough of smoke and trail of tyre tracks. In the distance, another car honked. But for all the sounds, it felt like only them there in the world. Warrick and Catherine and the dying sun.
"I almost miss Eddie sometimes," she said, eyes still closed. "Not for anything he did, the asshole. But we were young together. And maybe if he was around, Lindsey would have someone else to turn to."
"Or someone else to rebel against," he pointed out. "Come on, Cath. You remember what you did at that age?"
"I made out with handsome guys like you in cars," she said softly. For a moment, all he could hear was his heartbeats, drums vibrating in his blood.
"I wasn't handsome back then," he said lightly. Beat. Beat.
"You are now."
He looked at her dark lashes, her hair falling in the fading sun and her breath curling from her lips. All life was a gamble and he could throw the dice. But the first lesson of Las Vegas was a harsh one - never gamble what you could not afford to lose. And he could ill afford to lose her. She was a friend, a colleague, a confidante and that tease of something more, that hint in her eyes...
But sometimes, even gamblers could win. And the prize... Her and Lindsey and Sunday breakfast, he the cook. A future. A family. A relationship.
She turned her head sideways and looked at him, the last rays of the sun caressing her lips and the faint colour in her cheeks. Her breath smelled of coffee and summer heat and he wondered if he could kiss the scars of age from her features. Her expression softened as she looked at him, fear and pain still haunting her face, but her eyes so bright, bright, bright...
*****
And there you are.