Memes and Popes

[misscam]

A very "special" dictionary. by lily22
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Definition:	Experiencing extreme, severe, or frequently-changing weather.
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So you're cleaning all the pollen off your TV screen and a genie pops out. In return for freeing her, she offers to grant you 5 changes to any TV show(s) you wish. With only 5 wishes, what do you wish for?

Dear oh dear.

CSI
1. Grissom and Sara slowly and steadily rebuild friendship and trust and Grissom actually shares some. There still be angst, but eventually, Grissom does make a move and they actually get somewhere.
2. Warrick and Catherine hook up and have much hot sex and Cath relaxes and gets less drama and less attitude.
Water Rats
3. Mick does not knock and Frank and Rachel does indeed get that one night together.
Babylon 5
4. Ivanova stays for season five.
Star Trek: Voyager
5. Janeway and Chakotay does finally get together in the end

I should update with my views on the Pope - but you're all pretty sick of that whole discussion anyway, right? So instead, a meme:

Through a freak accident, the Vatican is suddenly mine and I shall elect a new Pope by my lonesome. So why should I elect you and what would be your Pope name? (Women can apply.)

Comments

[velocityofsound.livejournal.com]

I want...
+Sam Seaborn back on The West Wing. (And Aaron Sorkin as a writer.)
+Dan/Casey to realize they are soooooo gay, and become a cute little couple with a dog, on Sports Night
+To smite Jon Seda, for injuries done to my soul, when he was cast on Homicide: LOTS. Just, get rid of the character and act like it never happened.
+Grissom to get over his damn self and start making it up to Sara, ASAP, on CSI. With some onscreen smoochage.
+Rory to stop acting like a brainless, sobbing twit, on Gilmore Girls.

BONUS: Arrested Development to be renewed for 10 years, and shoot the four episodes I was robbed of this season.

As for Pope, oh dear, I should be Pope because I'd immediately disband the church and use all its funds to find a cure for AIDS. (With lots of funding for condoms and birth control in the meantime.) My name? I'll have to think about it. Pope HAHAMOTHERFUCKERS! is probably not appropriate, but if you have any good ideas let me know.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Popess HAHAMOTHERFUCKERS I? Hmhmmm.

Ah, Rob Lowe, missed dearly.

Also, a cute dog? Like the Guidos?

[nirix5.livejournal.com]

You should elect me Pope because a) I'd totally support all of your political conquests and I'd threaten people with Purgatory if they didn't back you up, b) I'd change everthing around so everyone looked more like the Queen of Naboo and her entourage from Star Wars (because it would just be cool) and I'd put priests and nuns in Jedi robes, and c) I wouldn't be a liberal-damning jackass. I'd fund science. The Vatican Crime Lab would soon replace Las Vegas as the number two crime lab in the country... I mean, world. Which would really be one country after you take over the planet, I guess... the point is, it would be great.

And if I could take the name Fidelma II, that would be pretty cool.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Vatican Crime Lab? What kind of murders would it investigate?

[adraefan.livejournal.com]

*snork!*

You should elect me for Pope because I'll...

• Open up a Purgatory theme park, where visitors will enjoy such delightful rides as the rollercoaster of Moral Ambiguity, the mirror house of Self-Righteousness, and maybe other cleverly allegorical rides. Cotton candy will be free on Sundays.
  
• Begin re-forming the Vatican army, and then, once it's ready, declare war on England for the ransom of Sean Bean, Alan Rickman, and/or Colin Firth (optional). You know, going back to the aggressive Church of the Renaissance.
  
• Replace all church hymns with fun, toe-tapping tunes like La Cucaracha, the Beatles' Help!, and OutKast's Hey Ya!.
  
• Require that all wine served during Mass be undiluted and a nice dry red.
  
• Remove all the gold from the Vatican (this includes gold which is plated into things) and, after solving Third World debt and alleviating all hunger and poverty, use the rest to build a golden spaceship so that Catholicism will be the first religion in space. From there, the possibilities are endless.

And my name would be... POPE-ALICIOUS!

[nirix5.livejournal.com]

Okay. Your reasons to be Pope are way better than mine. I'd totally vote for you in Conclave, if the whole thing wasn't up to Miss Cam... if you get elected Pope, can I be the commander of the Vatican Black Ops?

[starra-cat.livejournal.com]

The wine isn't that diluted. I should know.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

I do like the Theme Park.... Will there be a Pope-usel, too?

So instead of hoarding gold the Vatican should now hoard hot men?

[dawning-star.livejournal.com]

Elect me as Pope for I shall do/support the following:
1) Men existing to serve women. Guys--it's your turn to know what it's like.
2) Birth control and abortion. I'd far rather a child be born to people who want the child than to be hated.
3) Funding AIDS research
4) Accepting the existence of other cultures/religions
5) Allowing marriage for all.
6) Accepting divorce.
7) People everywhere being forced to accept the divine presence of the Cam. Or, at least being forced to learn and use proper grammar and spelling.

As for my Pope Name....hmmm... I suppose Pope FuckYouI'mInCharge is too controversial...

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Well, given that Cardinal I-want-to-be-Pope-HAHAMOTHERFUCKERS is trying to get elected, I don't think yours is that much more controversial.

And I do like 1... So what should teh new Pontiff hat be, to reflect the new status of feminiity?

[andy-longwood.livejournal.com]

You should elect me because I make a damn fine cheesecake, and would use my knowledge of Damn Fine Cheesecakery to improve the general mood of the papacy, and also feed starving children in Africa. My pope name would be Pope Blessed Incontinent.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Just what would you put in this cheesecake, hmm?

[kippurbird.livejournal.com]

>>

I should be elected Pope because I'm Jewish and that would really screw things up. Plus I'd use my power for good and try to stop Bush (he listens to G-d right? And the Pope is supposed to be the voice of G-d? So he'd have to listen to me!) and fix the Middle East.

What would my Pope Name be... Gabrielle ^_^ I wouldn't change it at all. It's a good strong Jewish name.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

First Jewish Pope? Well, idea has a certain appeal. Would you introduce ortodox Jewish hairstyles, too?

[puredeadthingy.livejournal.com]

Elect me for Pope!

1) I will bring the smackdown and guilt trips on various world leader.
2) Accepting divorce/contraception/gay marriage/all that jazz.
3) Funding AIDS and cancer research
4) Spell correctly or be excomunnicated.
5) Same as before, with grammar.
6) Everyone must hear a song in their lifetime.
7) Hymns get a harmony makeover.
8) All Valentine's cards be replaced with I <3 you emails. (I hope, as Pope, I could do that...)
Pope name: Pope Edgar Frederick Von Cucklekorn the 7th.

[agentmaly.livejournal.com]

4) Spell correctly or be excomunnicated.

*laughs* That's um.. excommunicated.. *gives you a cookie in consolation*

[sinneahtes.livejournal.com]

I should update with my views on the Pope - but you're all pretty sick of that whole discussion anyway, right?

Actually, no one on my friends list has said anything about it. The silence has been eerie. O_o

Elect me Pope because I don't know Latin, but can fake it in amusing ways. And the first syllable of my name doesn't sound like "Rat" (when an American says it, at least). And my hair looks much better than any previous Pope's. I'd probably be named Pope Feliscatus or something. :P

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Loads of people on mine has, anyway.

So should the Vatican now be leading figures in hairstyles?

[agentmaly.livejournal.com]

Elect me as pope because I'd be really weird. I'd make the Popemoblie a flying car, for one thing. And add all sorts of extra Popery (*snickers*) like a Popecave and a Pope-eriffic Label Maker von Doom™. I'd have priests working round the clock to find a way to label air. Everything in the Vatican would have schnazzy labels with pretty colours and amusing names.

Also I'd make it a joint Papacy. There's never been that before. And why not? So I'd bring Mip in, too, and we could have an Wonderful and Enlightened Joint Papacy™.

I would mostly stay out of people's way and not force things where they shouldn't be forced.. so I'd probably just work with charity a lot and all that. Though I might occasionally threaten stupid people who need threatening. I would start a program to Save the Trees, because It's the Merry Thing to Do (and the Pope-ful thing to do, apparently.)

I'd eliminate all reality TV shows. Tea would be recognised as a legitimate meal and so everyone would be allowed to leave work at three-thirty so as not to miss it. Coming back to work after tea would be optional.

Also the Vatican would give away scones to all its visitors. And anyway, the Amsterdam Weasels are on my side. I have to win!

So, yes. I can promise you a highly amusing Joint Papacy with much randomness and silliness and general oddity. And my pope name would probably be either Pope Mari Teh Pi™, or Popeman. Or possibly Popemari. I like that, too. ^^

With that, I leave you with these words of wisdom.. Holy St. Peter, Popeman!

[misscam.livejournal.com]

I like the Popemobile. But what would you put on instead of all the reality TV?

[gehayi.livejournal.com]

You should totally elect me as Pope, because I went through all the Catholic indoctrination thing and I know what I do NOT want to do.

If I became Pope, I'd have a great time. First of all, I'm going to take Mark Twain's advice and rob the Catholic Church. I'm splitting all the gold, jewels, land, etc. between a cure for AIDS, a cure for cancer, a cure for birth defects, and an end to hunger and poverty. I'm going to get rid of all the fancy hats and silk robes, too, because Jesus didn't wear any fancy silk robes, and frankly, I think that the cardinals need to be reminded that they're supposed to be priests and not rich, fat-cat politicians.

I'm getting rid of the whole celibacy requirement for priests and nuns. You want to be celibate, fine, but if you want to get married, that's fine too. Also, if you want to be in a monogamous homosexual relationship, this is also okay. I'm going to admit that the references to homosexuality in the Bible refer to temple prostitution, which there really isn't an awful lot of these days, and stop using the Bible to hammer people whom God in His wisdom created homosexual. In fact, I'm going to speak ex cathedra on that subject, decreeing infallibly that homosexuality is NOT a sin and that marriage is a sacrament for everybody.

I'm going to mandate that women become equal in the Church, and that their vocations for the priesthood are acknowledged, respected and permitted.

I'm going to fund research so that all the male politicians who scream about how horrible the Pill and abortion get to find out first-hand what it's like to be pregnant for nine months with children they don't want.

Any priest who is positively proven to have molested a child will NOT be moved to another parish. He will have his balls cut off and hung around his neck until they rot.

Divorce is permitted, just as annulments are.

The wafers at Mass are eliminated. In their place, we have fresh-baked bread and cake. There is no reason why God should taste like fish food.

The Popemobile will fly. There will also be a special super-suit that allows me to fly in person, a la Superman.

I would be completely undiplomatic and would tell politicians and leaders of countries when they were acting like spoiled brats. I would also tell them what to do about it.

ginmar would be the Commander in Chief of the Vatican Army. This would terrify everyone in the entire world. She will also enforce punishment for any offenses against women, with full Vatican approval.

Bad spelling and poor grammar will officially become the eighth and ninth mortal sins. (Even if this DOES screw up Full Metal Alchemist.)

Bush will have to wear a dunce cap at all times.

Tony Blair will have to wear an L for "liar."

Any politicians who advocates that a certain group lose any civil rights due to that group's race, religion, age, gender or sexual orientation will--and I am speaking ex cathedra again--immediately lose those rights himself.

I would make good manners and respect for others the heretofore undiscovered Eleventh and Twelfth Commandments.

I will break through dimensional barriers and find a dimension where LOTR is real, so that the characters and Miss Cam can finally bring OFUM into real life.

And my Pope name would be Pope Scholastica Joan Manfreda--because Scholastica was a saint, and a massively cool one; Joan was supposedly elected Pope in 854, under the name of John VIII; and Manfreda of Milan became Pope in the late 1200s--and was burned at the stake in Lombardy in 1300. Smart women who rose to the papacy and sainthood should be remembered.

[chem-nerd.livejournal.com]

Actually, according to my Classics peofessor, whose specialty is the early church, the very early church did in fact perform homosexual marriages. The UCC still does.

[starra-cat.livejournal.com]

So you're cleaning all the pollen off your TV screen and a genie pops out. In return for freeing her, she offers to grant you 5 changes to any TV show(s) you wish. With only 5 wishes, what do you wish for?

Stargate

1. For Stargate to magically rejuvenate itself.

2. For *someone* to win the "Get in the Gate" contest and be an extra. *coughDadcough* (I'm not legally allowed to enter. Grrr.)

JAG

3. For JAG to continue having new (good!) episodes with David James Elliot. (It's ending after its 10th season! Oh the humanity! I hope the last two episodes will be good.)

Joan of Arcadia

4. Adam would not do the unthinkable. (And yet I've still have not seen that episode. I really only watch it because of Michael Welch (Luke). <~~ *insert SQUEE! here* Weird.)

5. For a librarian geek to appear somehow. (Maybe as LibraryGeekGod?)



Can you tell I don't watch a lot of shows? I've only seen Joan of Arcadia a few times. I need to become a fanatic.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

I don't watch TV too much myself these days, actually.

I used to watch JAG, but I gave up on it after a while. I do hope it ends well, though.

[greyladybast.livejournal.com]

You should elect me Pope because I actually listen to God. Even when I don't like Hir (Hes? I so need a non-gender-specific, pronoun for the Almighty, preferrably one that does not conjure up images of inanimate objects like "it" does) words.

I would keep my name as Pope. Pope Christine has a nice ring to it. Alternatively, I would become Pope Sofia, as one would hope the Pope embodies wisdom.

...hope the Pope....tee hee.....

[agentmaly.livejournal.com]

You should be Hope the Pope. ^^;; It's a legitimate name!

I prefer Hes, because it looks and sounds better. It could just be because I'm used to seeing His.. but.. I still just kind of prefer Hes over Hir.

[hadria.livejournal.com]

If I was Pope, I would get rid of the title Pope and name myself Lord Hairy Wookie of Heavenly Affairs on the Asswipe Backward Planet Earth. I would then smite all who even suggested that birth control should not be accessible to everyone with my new and improved Popemobile that will be equipped with lightning bolts and play "We shall say Nih again to you ... if you do not appease us" over and over again every time I smite someone.

And that is why I should be Pope.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Compelling reason.

But pray tell, what other sounds O'Python would you bring to the Vatican?

Air of Mystery

[(Anonymous)]

You should elect me pope...because I think I may be the only boy that replied this topic. Or there may be others, but I've seen none.

If you elected me Pope, I would:

1. Sell all the gold in the Vatican to fund disease research.
2. Everyone who goes to church has to wear loud shirts or psychadelic clothes.
3. I would use any money remaining from the disease research to create weapons for the Pope-hat (I've forgotten what it's called). Missiles! Jetpacks! Tojo-blades! Heh-heh.
4. Rather than listen to the reverend read from the Bible, a few people would re-inact scenes from it.
5. Allow Abortion/Gay marriage/condoms, etc.
6. If two religions had a conflict between them, then it would be settled in a ping-pong match.

My Pope-name would be...Pope Bouganvillea the three-point-oneth.

Re: Air of Mystery

[misscam.livejournal.com]

But we want women in charge these days ;)

Who would play the ping-pong matches?

[talestra.livejournal.com]

Seeing as you are a Janeway and Chakotay fan, I always thought that you might like this story

[misscam.livejournal.com]

I did, thanks. I hadn't read J/C fics in ages...

[velocityofsound.livejournal.com]

Speaking of birth control, look at this guy's default user picture. (http://www.livejournal.com/userinfo.bml?user=schupo)

He posted in a 24 community that I read. WTF? My interests are pirates, watching a show in which people are ruthlessly tortured on a regular basis, and telling you that condoms ARE THE DEVIL! I felt the need to rant, I know you'd understand :)

[misscam.livejournal.com]

*stares*

*tries to think of something to say*

*stares again*

He has broketh my snark.