No Cows and Fanfic Teases

[misscam]

Am home. Have headache. Have been a good writing girl, though. Finished writing ch. 24 of East of the Sun, West of the Moon. Yay me. And ch. 18 and 19 are up, here & here on ff.net, and here at CSI Forensics. Reviews and feedback make Cam a happy, happy gal.

ETA: I think my beta for this story needs some time to deal with various life things. Would someone like to take over beta duties for it?

So does this No Cows icon (made by elvea_aure). Hehehehe. And indeed, the No Cows spoke and the people listened. Dutch vote no for constitution
Possible reasons for no result

And dad, true to form, texted me with "Long live the Netherlands". I'm gonna send him the No Cows. He'll love them.

Oh, and Ramsey made me Yoblinger of the month for her site. (The interview will be up there later.) I'm flattered. Must seduce more people over to the pairing now.



Meanwhile, some teases of future East of the Sun, West of the Moon chapters. Bit spoilerish.

*****
Nick gave him a look, looking a bit resigned, if not surprised. "You came with Catherine?"

"What of it?"

"You been staying with her?"

"Yeah, just in case the guy tries again."

"And that's the only reason?"

"If you have something to say, Nick, just say it," Warrick snapped, unable to keep his tone even any longer.

"Fine. Office romances are a bad idea. You know that. And Catherine..."

Warrick bit back an angry reply, instead giving Nick a hard glare that didn't seem to face him much.

"She's our supervisor, man," Nick went on. "What if you two don't work out? What if you do? What are you gonna do if it becomes serious?"

"You haven't exactly had a stellar track record yourself!" Warrick shot back, feeling anger raise to push back the echo of Nick's word in his mind. They sounded all too much like some of his own that he tried to silence.

Nick clenched his jaw for a moment, clearly remembering Kristy Hopkins as Warrick was, then he relaxed. "Yeah, I don't. That's why I'm looking out for you."

*****

"Why do we kill those we love?" she asked quietly, but it seemed to be as much to the world in general as to him.

"Because humans are possessive, volatile and passionate," he replied, walking towards her. "Because the line between love and hatred is vague and wavering. Because love is pain. Because love is pleasure and pleasure makes fools of even the wise."

"Does it?" she whispered as he leaned against her, feeling her breath as a flash of heat tickling his skin.

"Yes," he whispered and kissed her.

Her lips were as he remembered them, soft and yielding to his one moment, demanding and rough against his the next. He could almost feel the sun on her, that taste of heat on her tongue as he explored her. Midnight sun in a kiss. Mightnight seduction in Norway. She made a sound at the back of her throat that made his body shiver and he pressed her against the wall, supporting himself with a hand. He let the other cup a breast through her shirt and she arched breathlessly into the touch.

"More?" he whispered.

"More."

He fumbled slightly with the buttons of her shirt before he managed to open it, feeling clumsy and with fingers thick as lumber. Her bra was grey underneath, worn to work, not for romance, but that was a seduction too. Sara, so much like him. So much he hadn't dare risk being with her, for she would tear his walls down and leave him bare. He'd kept her out and somehow she'd sneaked her way inside anyway.

Her skin was smooth under his fingertips, the little lines across it paths for him to explore. He could feel a scar just above her hip and he lowered his head to kiss it, kiss the pains that had made her Sara. He didn't want her to ever have suffered, but without that suffering, without those scars, she wouldn't be who she was, wouldn't be the one seducing him with a smile, a look, a touch.

******

"You didn't love her enough to let her go," Mr. Grissom said quietly.

"All love is selfish, mister Grissom," she replied, feeling the words drain her, free her, bind her. "You have lived the world. You know this."

For a flicker of a moment, he glanced at Ms. Sidle. "Perhaps. But selfish is not the same as murdering."

"Murder is the ultimate act of selfishness. You kill for your own protection, your own advancement, your own desires, your own revenge. My husband worked as a doctor and a coroner, mister Grissom. I know why men kill."

"Then you know sometimes murder is not always selfish. Sometimes… Sometimes you kill for another."

Caroline didn’t answer, feeling her heartbeats thump through her mind, fast and rushed and afraid.

"Who did you kill for?" He looked at her now, his eyes still not judging, but demanding, beckoning the answer within her.

*****

She crossed her arms. "Grissom's a better supervisor than me?"

"Grissom doesn't try, he just loves his work and that love is…" He smiled briefly, mostly to himself. "That love is catching. You love your work, but after Ecklie promoted you…You try too hard and I sometimes feel… That you're unhappy where you are."

"And if I am?"

"I don’t want you to be."

"My life is not yours to fix."

He stared at her, setting his own mug down on the counter before edging closer. "Your life is mine to care about. Happy, unhappy or otherwise."

"Why, because I invited you into my bed?" she asked, wincing at her own tone.

"No. Because I love you!" he shouted back angrily, and the words slammed into her, leaving her breathless and unguarded.

"Warrick..." she started, feeling her heart beat so loudly in her ears it seemed to drown out even her words. "I..."

His lips cut the rest of her speech short, his kiss angry and burning and demanding. His hand was smooth against her neck as he pulled her even closer and she found herself arching against him, against his body, his touch, his kiss.

She could end the kiss now, demand he get out, demand he change shifts. His words had hurt, perhaps more so for the truth a part of her had felt in them. She had made bad choices. She didn’t feel she was living up to Grissom’s example. She did at times feel unhappy with her job. She could punish everyone else for that. She could push Warrick out.

And if she did and he left her life, he would take a piece of her with him and she would carry another scar.

*****

"Anna wanted to be a hero."

"We all do."

'No,' Sara thought and felt a chill. 'Some of us want to be a villain.'

"How can any mother justify killing for her daughter?" she blurted out, feeling years of memories and blood and guilt tumble loose and fill her mouth with bile.

She had not asked her mother to kill her father. She had not. She had *not*. Had she?

ThescreamingthescreamingohGodpleaseshutupshutupSHUTUP!

Go away. Diediediedieplease. Just silence. Just give me silence. Pleaseohplease.

The memory was cool, like glass cutting through skin and chilling the blood. She blinked against the tears and stumbled to the empty chair, sitting down heavily and feeling like the ground was a hole ever falling before her.

Why now, when Grissom was closer than ever and she was strong, professional, progressing? Why did it always haunt her life as she rebuilt it time and time again? Why did it always come back?

Blood always clung on. Even to memories.

She heard the other woman stand up and a moment later, she felt a hand on her shoulder, stroking her slowly.

'I’m being comforted by a murder,' she thought absurdly, but the gentle touch felt like that of a grandmother and she didn't shake it off.

*****

Comments

[teenwitch77.livejournal.com]

Oh, teasers, so mean! The Grissom and Sara scene was awesome, so seductive and poetic. And I love how Nick reacted to Warrick and Catherine. Perhaps you read that interview, too? (George thinking his character would be against it). I think he would be too. And last, but not least, Warrick telling Cath he loved her. Heh. I must be converted. Hope you post em soon, Cam.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Hey you.

Yes, I did read that interview. Rather what inspired the scene, in fact. I didn't really have much of a Nick reaction to C&W planned at all to begin with (poor Nick, I do tend to neglect him - can't write him too well either). Read that interview and the scene just clicked into place. Kudos to George ;)

Another seduced to the dark side. Muhahaha.

And the chapters will hopefully be posted soon enough. Though I think I need to find a new beta first. They are all written, at least.

[teenwitch77.livejournal.com]

I think you write Nick quite well, you should give yourself some credit, girl :) And yes, I must admit I have joined the dark side, lol.

Congrats on being yoblinger of the month, too. Ramsey tells me she enjoys your contribution to her site a lot.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Eh, I don't feel comfortable writing him at all. I don't feel like I get him. Maybe I'm trying too hard. I feel like I can't write Sara either, so maybe I'm just being too hard on myself.

:) Well, I was missing a C/W site, so least I could do was help out some. And I saw you joined the dark side by writing fanfic. Eeeeeexcellent. We need more quality C/W fics. Much, much more.

[chem-nerd.livejournal.com]

I actually find Nick one of the easiest characters to write, along with Greg. I think it's because they're both so close with people. I have a difficult time reading emotion and subtext (autistic tendency, that), so I find Sara and, to a much lesser extent, Grissom very difficult to write. But Greg and Nick have much less subtlty. Poor Sara is getting the short end of the proverbial stick in Xenophobia because I really can't write her very well. As you've noticed, my writing tends to be rather low on body language and facial expressions, for the simple reason that I don't generally see them.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Makes sense, I guess. I feel I can write Grissom because I can clam up as well, I can understand teh loner aspect of Sara and connect via that, but Nick? Not as much.