To Bashers, with love from Cam and Dalek-Pet

[misscam]

Dear fanfic author,

So, you don't like Sara Sidle/Boromir/Ron Weasley/Denethor/Catherine Willows/Gimli/Tonks/Arwen/Sofia/Mick*/Insert Name Here and think she/he is AntiChrist-y**/evil/stupid/evil and abusing/slutty/ugly/whiny/useless/Man Lurch/kissus interruptus/Insert Evil Here? Gee, I couldn't tell that from reading your fanfics at all. But here's a thought - how you feel about the character isn't always how the other fictional characters in the world you're writing feels. (Shock, horror!, I know.) In fact, it's kind of an important difference. And if you want to write fanfic and not just vessels for your dislikes that have utterly no connection to Canon, stick to how the characters feel about each other.

Thank ye kindly.

And if I see one more appaling bashing fic from you, I'm sending my pet Dalek. EX-TERM-INATE!

Cam

* Mick from Water Rats, included just for lotus79's reading pleasure

** Yes, according to some, Sara Sidle is apparently the Anti-Christ. I think Adam would have a few things to say about that (and those who get that reference are cool. And also a little nerdy).

Comments

[kahva.livejournal.com]

What is it with people having to character bash in their fics? If they're not making Boromir and/or Denethor just as evil as Sauron, they're swinging to the other extreme, bashing Legolas either because they perceive him as a throwaway character, or they decide after seeing the movie, "I HATE Orlando Bloom for his beauty and popularity!!!" and just go on a character assasination spree. Don't hate or bash characters because the actor is beautiful, and don't bash Gimli just because he's gruff, isn't all that enamored of the elves from the get go, and because you think he must stink and not bathe.

Clue-time here... Aragorn, Boromir and the Hobbits probably stank too. They were on the Quest for months, they slept outside the bulk of that time - do you honestly think that they stayed every night at the Middle Earth Motel 6? "We'll leave the candle burning for you."

I don't get the Arwen bashers either, which seems to come from either jealousy that Liv Tyler is the one who got to kiss Viggo Mortenson, or, "She stole Glorfindel's part!!" Um, Arwen, nor Liv Tyler stole anything, PJ and Co. had to make a choice about what they could film, and what they couldn't, to make the best films they could. Bashing characters doesn't change that it was a movie choice. If you don't like what was done, then write fanfiction based from the book. And you still don't have to bash Arwen.

And I'll stop here before I get into the Elizabeth, Norrington, Governor Swann and Lt. Gillette bashing, or the making of Will into an idiot, Anamaria into a shrew, Jack into a perpetual drunk... If I don't stop now, I'm going to be late for work, in addition to not being able to stop wanting to torture bashers with non-stop playing of Barney, Teletubbies, and Boohbah.

With brief breaks of Rosanne Barr/Arnold/whatever she's calling herself now butchering The Star Spangled Banner.

[araeph.livejournal.com]

What's almost worse is when the Suethors don't actively bash a character, but rather make virtuous canonicals into horrible and/or weak-willed people just because that's how they perceive them or felt like writing them. Messing up a personality because you just didn't care that much makes me wonder why you would call yourself a fan in the first place.

...Not having anything to do, of course, with the PotC Sue that's going to be reported tonight. Nope.

[kahva.livejournal.com]

...Not having anything to do, of course, with the PotC Sue that's going to be reported tonight. Nope.

{Nods sagely} Of course not. :)

Which Sue, dare I ask? I'm curious as to whether or not it's one I've recently reported to FF.N for TOS violations.

[araeph.livejournal.com]

It's one a about a Mary Sue who's a cat.

Heh.

[kahva.livejournal.com]

{BLINKS} A cat-Sue?!???

So glad I took Advil here at work earlier...

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Arwen's never been my favourite, but I try to treat her fairly in fanfic nevertheless. Clearly, she is liked in Canon.

I wonder if all the bashing feels edgy or something, since so many are attracted to it. Stuffed if I know.

[kahva.livejournal.com]

I wonder if all the bashing feels edgy or something, since so many are attracted to it. Stuffed if I know.

I'm not sure where all of it comes from either, but at least with a fair amount of it that I've read, I'm willing to bet there's jealousy in there in some way, shape or form. Whether it be over an actor's looks and/or good fortune, or who got to kiss who, a lot of what I've seen has some form of jealousy in there somewhere. Then there's the bashing that comes from how somebody will perceive a character - such as with Norrington for example. Some folks latch onto his straight arrowness from the beginning, and his, "Do not make the mistake of thinking you're the only man here who cares for Elizabeth," line to Will, and viola! He must be a cruel, cold, heartless son of a broomstick! Thus begets the oodles of "Evil Norrington" fics, which usually have "Evil Governor Swann" and "Evil Lt. Gillette" thrown in there. Hello? James Norrington steps aside at the end of the movie to allow Elizabeth her happiness, and he didn't have to do that! Governor Swann is right there when Will is kissing Elizabeth, he didn't have to allow her to stay with Will. And somewhere along the line, these folks seem to have missed Norrington giving Jack Sparrow one day's head start - a move that potentially puts his entire career at risk!

{Takes deep breath, drinks more Mountain Dew.} Must stay at normal levels of insanity here at work, mustn't give people thoughts of needing to send me away to a nice quiet place...

[chem-nerd.livejournal.com]

Barney I can understand, but Teletubbies is cruel and unusual punishment. And Boohbah? That's just evil.
*remembers who we're dealing with* Y'know, I admire that.

[kahva.livejournal.com]

Barney I can understand, but Teletubbies is cruel and unusual punishment. And Boohbah? That's just evil.
*remembers who we're dealing with* Y'know, I admire that.

{Evil chuckle} I work for a PBS affiliate, I have so many episodes of these shows at my disposal. Why, I'm at work right now, and in less than twenty second I can be in our tape library - or better yet, in less than five seconds, I can call up our archive, only takes a few minutes really to call over a half hour show to the server...

{Puts on innocent kitten look} Me? Evil? Never! :)

Should I mention that Boohbah actually feeds in both standard definition, AND high definition? HD "fluttering powerhums", that sound like - I probably shouldn't say, somebody might be trying to eat right now.

Hi-Definition Boohbah?

[(Anonymous)]

There are so many other things I'd much rather see in HD. Sesame Street, Between the Lions, Magic Schoolbus...
Fluttering Powerhums? So that's what those things are called. That is the weirdest show I've ever seen, and I live on a college campus. I'm surprised Boohbah hasn't warped kids for life. And who came up with those names?

Re: Hi-Definition Boohbah?

[chem-nerd.livejournal.com]

Oops, that was me. Forgot to log in at work.

Re: Hi-Definition Boohbah?

[kahva.livejournal.com]

Fluttering Powerhums? So that's what those things are called.

Yup, the - yes, I'll go ahead and say it, apologies ahead of time! - the high-speed flying farts (best way I know how to describe them) are called "fluttering powerhums". That's how the closed captioning described them, and I think even the DVI (descriptive video) called them that too. You should've seen the reaction that description got out of me and my now supervisor one level up when we first starting recording the show for our air. We were wanting to know what crack those folks were on when they came up with the show, and we wanted that crack destroyed immediately, if not sooner. And then it's "Grandmamma! Grandpappa! Brother and Sister! Mrs. Lady! Mr. Man! Auntie! Little Dog Fido!" {SHUDDERS}

I'm just glad we don't run it anymore. Now if I could just convince somebody to let me kill the shows we do have off of the archive...