And the days do pass...

[misscam]

Update for those of you who know what's going on.

Got my lawyer this week. In Norway, anyone who has been a victim of violent crimes (hereunder rape) have a right to a supportive lawyer, bill footed by the state. Mine seems very nice. She'll be keeping in touch with the police in case there's any progress as well as help me in case of trial and with seeking compensation. I apparently have a right to that as well, regardless of whether they catch him or not.

I'm sleeping badly and I have pains now and then that I guess are simply my body's way of reacting to the current mess in my head. So much to figure out and no idea how to. It'll come, I'm sure. My anger's on the rise, I can tell, from my getting annoyed at people who IM me with all kinds of inane things, not to mention idiot sale people on the street. If I blow up at anyone, I apologise in advance.

I haven't fallen to pieces, at least and I suppose that is the main thing. There's always time for everything else.

Comments

[briasoleil.livejournal.com]

I can't offer much more than my empathy and understanding.

If I had any advice to give, it would be to see a therapist as quickly as you can possibly handle it and as often as you can possibly handle it.

I'm keeping you in my thoughts. {{{{hugs to you}}}}

[briasoleil.livejournal.com]

*headdesk* I'm sorry. I'm projecting all my myriad issues onto you. And you don't need that. I'm sorry.

I am, however, a fan of therapy. It's done wonders for me over the years and it may be a source of comfort for you. And comfort isn't such a bad thing.

[dawning-star.livejournal.com]

I'm so terribly sorry, Cam. *hugs*

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Thanks.

[bjam1402.livejournal.com]

I don't know anything more than what I've read in your LJ, but *hugs and cuddly animals* You seem very strong, even I can tell that from your online persona, so I hope everything works itself out.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

I'll... get better at least and carry it better.

[maureenlycaon.livejournal.com]

I fear I can't do anything more substantial than wish you luck. Again, you're in my thoughts.

I do think the therapist idea might be a good one.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Yeah, probably. But one step at a time.

[honorh.livejournal.com]

My goodness, Cam, I didn't know! I guess I've been caught up in my own stuff lately and was rather thick--looking back at your journal, I see what I missed. I wish I could help somehow, but I'll offer you my emotional support and hope the best for you.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I think I fiddle a bit with backdating that particular entry, so it's not that strange you missed it.

[chem-nerd.livejournal.com]

*tea and chocolate* Hang in there.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

I'll try my best.

[armeniel.livejournal.com]

*hugs* There's not much I can do or say except that bad things shouldn't happen to good people. In fact, they shouldn't happen at all.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Word to that.

[magika83.livejournal.com]

Hvis noen kommer seg styrket gjennom noe sånt, så er det deg. Lykke til høres dumt ut, men jeg tror du vil tolke det riktig. Stor klem.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Takk.

Det som ikke tar livet av deg gjør deg sterkere, heter det jo.

[beautyid.livejournal.com]

You're in my thoughts. You seem like a very strong and wise person. I hope everything works out for you.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[fondued-jicama.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry. I care about you a good deal, as I suspect people on LJ kind of build a camaraderie with one another, and...I'll pray for you. I'm not sure if that's appreciated, but I hope it doesn't bother you.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Doesn't bother me, but I am an atheist, so I don't really do prayers myself. But we all have our ways of comfort.

[aervir.livejournal.com]

Oh my God, I'm so terribly sorry for you. And I'm also sorry for typing something which sounds so hollow and trite and which doesn't help you anyway, but I do mean it, and you'll be in my thoughts.

It's good that you obviously have excellent professional help and such a supportive family to care about you and give you strength.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Not sure there are any good words to say in such a case anyway. Thank you for the thought.

[syncopated_time.livejournal.com]

...

You listened to me when I went through it. I can only offer you the same in return. Please, feel free to get in touch any time.

This isn't really a good forum for me to say anything else, so I'll just leave it at that.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I'll certainly remember it and appreciate the thought.

Hope you're feeling all right, BTW.

[pennhothwen.livejournal.com]

*hugs, love and empathy*

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Thanks. Love the icon, BTW.

[sinneahtes.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I'm not glad you need it, but I'm glad your lawyer seems really nice, and that you have some help along the way.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Yeah. I wish I didn't need them, but it's good that they're there when I do.

[ekwy.livejournal.com]

Oh my god. How could I miss this?

I'm... sorry. It sounds tame and stupid, but that's all I've got. *hugs you a lot* We all love you. We're here for you. Always. *hugs more*

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Thank you. And I didn't make a grand big announcement of it, which is probably why you didn't see it.

[reia.livejournal.com]

Oh my God, I am so sorry. *hugs* If you need anything, I'm here. :/

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Thanks.

[adoraheatherly.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry I missed that entry. I had to scroll back and find it.

Much of what I want to say seems so very trite at the moment. I've been through a similiar experience in the past and all of the things running through my head right now are the exact statements that either made me feel worse or I got sick of hearing.

The majority of it you already know anyway. You recognize that the pain, while it may not disappear completely, will become more manageable with time. Unfortunately, that isn't much of a comfort when a traumatic experience is still so fresh.

The best I can offer you beyond my empathy and kind thoughts is this-

In any extreme situation, you're going to have a hell of a lot of people giving you advice, trying to get you to talk about it, suggesting healthy ways to cope and so forth. Though these people do this out of love and concern, its important to remember that the only person who truly knows what is best for you is yourself.

Myself in particular, I'm not always so good at talking about really bad experiences and I prefer to cope by channeling my emotions into other things. And when something very similiar happened to me, I ended up forcing myself to talk about it for the sake of others. It only made me feel worse, as if I was reliving it again and again every time I opened my mouth.

From a legal standpoint, I realize that there are certain things you simply must do. But beyond that, please remember that there is no right or wrong way to cope. Do what you feel is right for yourself, not what others think you should.

If there's anything I can do, please let me know. I'm sure you've had many offers to talk and while that may not be what you need, I can offer what little I do have beyond that.

I know it sounds trivial, but I'd be happy to design a new journal layout or some pretty graphics for you. Maybe its not a direct comfort and it really isn't much...but at least you could have something new to look at and hopefully enjoy.

Take care of yourself, Cam. You're in my thoughts.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I'm not sure what my own way of coping with it will be yet, but I'll try to find one that'll be best for me. I think what'll be most important to me is just have time to sort it out in my head.

Thanks for the graphics offer. You're probably right in taht little things like that do cheer up, but I'm afraid I'm terribly uninventive at teh moment and can't really think of stuff I want. You could always surprise me if you have a desire to. The offer's appreciated in any case.

[siraj.livejournal.com]

We're all still here for you Cam... with any luck, they'll give you 5 minutes alone with him, and a cricket bat.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

I fear five minutes wouldn't be enough.

[highwindpav.livejournal.com]

If you need to fall apart, fall apart. There'd be no shame in it if it's what needs to happen. Hopefully not, tho'. Egh, I have no words, just...I admire you.

Good to hear your lawyer is nice. Hopefully they'll catch the bastard and accidentally drop him off a cliff...

[misscam.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure I could piece myself that well together again. It'd be like giving him another victory and I need to feel that I've won at least something.

[mystefaction.livejournal.com]

For what it's worth, my thoughts are with you.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[megpie71.livejournal.com]

At the risk of being someone (else) saying the inane, don't forget to schedule yourself some time to fall apart. Somewhere safe, where you can glue yourself back together again, and reinforce what needs reinforcing. Sometimes, giving in and falling apart makes you stronger, because you can at least choose the fault lines.

You have my prayers, for what they're worth. May you come through this safely.

[Long-distance care-packaged hugs]

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I'll have to find my own path in this, though, and I feel a need to be whole for a while, even with all the pain of it.

[sliven.livejournal.com]

I don't know what to say, so I won't say much, but... love and hugs, you're in my thoughts.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Not sure there is more to say anyway.

[puredeadthingy.livejournal.com]

I'm thinking of you.

[belegcuthalion.livejournal.com]

In Norway, anyone who has been a victim of violent crimes (hereunder rape) have a right to a supportive lawyer, bill footed by the state.

Really? Sounds as if your government has understood how important it is to support the victims (and not only the criminals, as it unfortunately is in Germany). The thought of this support (and the fact that "your" lawyer seems to be a kind person) must be at least a little helpful.

I keep you in my thoughts, dear... it's all I can probably do, but I do it intensely.