Dear World...

[misscam]

It's time for another "Dear World", I feel...

Dear BBC,

GIMME CONFIRMED DATE FOR SEASON TWO NOW YOU SOULSTEALING BASTARDS ARGH ARGHCould you maybe soon enlighten the world with your confirmed date for Doctor Who's next season? Please? I shall wub you even more.

DesperationLove,
Cam

****

Dear Bishop Ole Kvarme,

so "many people can help gays to change sexual orientation", huh? And you tell this to a group where gay and lesbian church-goers meet after encouraging "dialogue" with them? See this? This is my finger. See that? That is your ass. Guess what you're gonna do?

And just FYI, "dialogue" consists of more than one party making an ass of himself, get what I'm saying? Also, you are a member of the State Chruch of Norway and the people of Norway have quite different ideas about homosexuality. You work for us, you listen to us, you ignoramus of a beard.

I'm so glad we had this dialogue.

Cam
P.S As my dear lotus79 put it, "and many people can teach Fundies to be tolerant". Sign-up is free, I promise.

****

Dear Chirac,

AHAHAHAHAHAH!

...

HAHA.

Cam

****

Dear "abortion for rape victims is not needed",

WHAT

Seriously, what? Did rocks drop down from the sky and hit you in the noggin? Did you smoke funky things? Did you decide today was "bring your own stupid, stupid, stupid opinions" day? WHAT

I hear the world does wonderful reality checks these days, though. Order one with a sidedish of compassion, why don't you.

No love and more disgusted eyerolling,
Cam

****

Dear Grissom/Catherine shippers,

hey, your ship is not among my ships, but I have friends among your number and I even sometimes read goodfic for it, so a little friendly advice? STOP THE SODDING PATERNITY TEST CALLS whenever a CSI ep is said to have a twist. Lindsey is not Grissom's daughter, and I'm going to tell you why. CSI is not a soap. CSI is not a fanfic. CSI is not all about the ships. CSI is not even mostly about the ships. CSI has never once indicated Grissom and Catherine had an affair in the past. CSI is not a soap.

Also, the icons with paternity test calls stopped being cute before they were made.

Write more goodfic and less theories of idiocy, mmkay?

Could be at least tolerance if you'd just stop that,

Cam

****

Dear Tazzer,

just cos you don't like a character doesn't mean bashing her should become the purpose of your fandom life, okay? Or your fanfic.

No tolerance for you,
Cam

P.S WHY MUST YOU TAINT ONE OF MY SHIPS WITH YOUR PRESENCE WHY

****

Dear CSI shippers in general,

could we try less war and more writing porn in our various trenches? It would be so appreciated. Also, those grenades of chatspeak and English abuse are deadly, man. Watch where you toss them.

Wearied sigh,
Cam

****

Dear (Some) Doctor Who fanfic writers,

the show doesn't suck. How about we try real hard that the fanfic doesn't as well, huh? So here are a few tips:

YOUR - Possessive. As in "your fanfic".
YOU'RE - Shortened form of you are. As in "You're writing fanfic, I see".
THEIR - Possessive again. As in "their spellcheck".
THEY'RE - Shortened form of they are. As in "they're not trying very hard, are they?"
ROSE - Doctor's companion. Sometimes awesome, sometimes not, sometimes open for interpretation. NOT YOU.
THE DOCTOR - Not in fact your dream version of Chris or David, okay?
SEX ED - What you should have before you write any kind of detailed smut, mmkay?
FANFIC - What you're writing until BBC coughs up actually money for it and until then, STFU is a very good look to be aiming for.

More love when more effort,
Cam

****

Dear Doctor/Rose shippers,

let's try not to go into fits and Caps Lock when something occurs in season two that might not be all good, ship-wise, okay? Let's train on that "breathe, breathe, keep sanity" early on, eh?

Early love,
Cam

****

Dear lotus79

I WIN. And you're mad as a hatter.

Cam

****

Dear Norway,

I love you in spring. I snuggle you in your warming sun. I hand!porn you in your melting snow. SO WHAT'S WITH THE SODDING -17, EH?

Ready with the love as soon as you're ready with the proper spring,
Cam

****

Dear BBC,

GIMME DATE GIMME NOW WHINGE WHINGE WHINGE Could I raise the date thing again? It would be ever so nice to have, you see. And season two even more so.

Premature love,
Cam

As ever, feel free to "Dear Cam" me.

Comments

[lotus79.livejournal.com]

Dear misscam,

YOU SO DO NOT WIN. HOR.

Saz

P.S. I DON’T CARE? I WILLINGLY DIED FOR YOU.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Dear lotus79

HAH!

YOU ONLY DIE FOR P0RN YOU DOUBLE HOR

WIN IS ME

Cam

[silvery-lass.livejournal.com]

I think season 2 of Doctor Who will start airing in April, because I think the DVD with "The Christmas Invasion" and the first episode will come out in the beginning of May.

I do think Catherine's husband sort of accused her of having an affair with Grissom in one of the earlier season, but I think he just wasn't to pleased with that they were such good friends.

[hadria.livejournal.com]

Is Tazzer into the yo!bling now? I must check it out and see the crazy. I very much missed these paternity icons.

Ugh that abortion is not needed for rape victims. One of their other brilliant comments is "if a woman is being abused it's her responsibility to leave the relationship". It must be nice to not have to live in reality. I'm so much with the headdesk, facepalm, headconcrete right now.

[kahva.livejournal.com]

That "abortion for rape victims is not needed" idiot is unfortunately reminding me of a doctor (no longer alive) who became a state legislator, and promptly put his foot in his mouth with the infamous statement that a woman couldn't get pregnant from being raped. His reasoning, as I recall, was something along the lines of the trauma being so great that a pregnancy couldn't occur. I can't remember what particular bill was being discussed in the legislature at the time, but BOY did he ever get an earful. At least he didn't try and excuse his mis-guided words by saying that he was a dental surgeon, not an ob/gyn or anything like that. He did admit that what he had said was wrong after a while. Grudgingly perhaps, but he did admit it.

What was scarier is that before he got into politics, he was a sometimes guest host on a morning TV news/talk show I worked on at my first TV station. And he would later go on to be my mother's dental surgeon. Somebody I knew and worked with on occasion, an otherwise nice guy, going on to say something that stupid later on... Very disillusioning.

He and his office did do a good job on Mom's oral surgery, though. Very nice folks in that office. If he had just stayed out of politics...

[oddlyfamiliar.livejournal.com]

Dear "abortion is not needed for rape victims",

I'm torn between head!desk and face!palm, as a comment to your craziness.

Perhaps I shall go with both.

Head!desk!face!palm...

Michelle.

[lotus79.livejournal.com]

Dear misscam

BLADDER PWNS SCRUFFY CSI BOY YOU TRIPLE HOR

I WIN ALL YOU KNOW IT BITCH. WORSHIP ME.

Saz

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Dear lotus79

DOCTOR PWNS ALL AND AWARDS ME WIN. YOU STFU

WORSHIP HOWARD AS H0RS SHOULD

Cam

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Yeah, April 15th has been flaoted as a possible date. I just want it confirmed, dammit.

He did, but he was Eddie, and Grissom and Catherine themselves have certainly never indicated that his allegations had any basis in truth.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

She's been popping into the C/W thread at TalkCSI, yeah. You can imagine how much that thrilled me.

Yeah, I know, the more that chick typed, the more I boggled. And she claims to have worked at a shelter for abused women, in which case she should know it's not that bloody easy, sheesh!

[misscam.livejournal.com]

...

I'm sorry, was there any signs he'd suffered some head trauma or something? The egg doesn't know if the sperm coming at it is from a guy you did willingly or a guy you didn't, for crying out loud? What does he think the egg comes equipped with, rape detector?

That sure is an interesting guy to have had near your teeth.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

When in doubt, go for both.

[lotus79.livejournal.com]

Dear misscam

MY DOCTOR PWND ALL FIRST, KTHXBYE.

I DECREE YOU SHALL GIVE BUSH A BIG WET SLOPPY KISS.

Saz

[kahva.livejournal.com]

Fortunately for the sake of my nerves, he had been Mom's dental surgeon before he got into politics, and after he got into politics, he wasn't actively working in his office much anymore, since he was busy doing the legislative thing. None of the folks I worked with could figure out where his reasoning on rape and pregnancy came from. But in the end he did finally apologize for what he had said. Apparently somebody, or several somebodies, took him aside and said, "Dr. A, there's a flaw with your theory..."

When I heard what he had said in the state legislature back then when it made the rounds of the news, I couldn't even headdesk properly. My jaw was too busy dropping through the floor and deep into the ground. I just really have to believe it was a case of him not stopping to think things through before he spoke, letting his feelings on whatever issue was being discussed at the time color his knowledge of just how the human body actually works. It is the only thing that has ever made any sense. But I never saw him after he got into politics, and since he's no longer with us on this Earth, I'll never get to ask him just what he was thinking back then when he said those words. It's the one thing he's remembered for now so far as his political career is concerned.

[kittycatness.livejournal.com]

Dear "abortion" nazi,

I don't believe abortion is right, either, but I'm not going to petition to have it banned because it's necessary. Which is worse, a "safe" (for the mother, anyway) procedure where a person may reflect on and have the opporotunity to reflect on that decision OR a person with a coathanger "performing" a VERY dangerous procedure without medical supervision and/or medical care for the mother? Or someone throwing themselves down stairs or killing themselves because of the shame and trauma that they suffered? Think about a person's emotions before you ponce about like you know everything.

Go away.
Me.




Dear Cam,

Thank you for selling my soul to Doctor Who.

Much love,
Me.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Dear lotus79

YOUR DOCTOR IS DEAD FROM PERI'S BREASTS. MINE IS DAVID TENNANT. I WIN.

BUSH IS TOO BUSY LICKING YOUR ASS AHAHAHAHA

Cam

[misscam.livejournal.com]

That's a sad, sad thing to be remembered for.

Which just goes to show, thinking before speaking is an excellent thing to try for. Also, to make sure you know of which you speak.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Dear kittycatness,

Doctor Who loves your soul too.

Yayness for more DW recruits. And your skill at logic. If only more would embrace it...

Ever love,
Cam

[kittycatness.livejournal.com]

Dear [Bad username or site: @ livejournal.com],

Yay for my sould being loved.

Logic is funny. I think it bypasses certain people.

Much love,
Cat.

[lotus79.livejournal.com]

dear misscam

MY DOCTOR HAS CELERY AND SEXIER GLASSES. YOURS HAS A FAKE ACCENT.

YOU CAN KISS BUSH ONCE HE'S FINISHED CLEANING MY ARSE FOR ME WITH HIS TONGUE. ENJOY.

Saz

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Dear lotus79

YOUR DOCTOR IS VANILLA VANILLA VANILLA CRICKET DUUUUUULL

BUSH WILL BE TOO BUSY LOVING THE TASTE OF YOUR CRAP HAH. HE'S ADDICTED NOW AND WILL INVITE HOWARD IN.

Cam

...

We're getting a bit disgusting here, aren't we? How about we both win and Miss Not-Fanfic lose?

[mthespinner.livejournal.com]

We used to have an elected official of more than ordinary stupidity in the commonwealth of Pennsylvania. This is saying quite a bit because this commonwealth grows stupid legislators as a matter of course. I digress.
Mr. Friend (it's been a few years, but yes, that was his name,) stated repeatedly that a woman who has been raped would not concieve because "her body would secrete a secretion that would prevent conception." Needless to say, the gormless lollardly lubbuck was voted out of office...some depths of stupidity are too much for even Pennsylvania.

(Dr. Who is contemplating moving into my house because I make superlative tea-and the scones and creme fraiche aren't too bad either.)

[lotus79.livejournal.com]

Heh. You started it :P

Yes, Miss BBC-wants-to-buy-my-crappy-fanfic-honest definitely loses.

He is so not vanilla, you take that back! Think of him as a blond Mr Darcy. Kind of.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

I am a fight-picker, this we know. Because I am jealous. Yes.

Okay, I take back the vanilla. But you'll have to agree Tennant is lickable. And that Darcy is Dacry is Colin Firth. Mmmm.

Reminds me, think BBC would buy my fanfic for "Adult Only" Doctor Who version?

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Please tell this is teh same guy kahva talked about or I will weep knowing there's at least two of them to have graced this world.

You Doctor-thief, you. Stop tempting him with tea.