misscam: (G/S Stormfront)
[personal profile] misscam
The CSI 'Wankimplosion' Drinking Game
as written by [livejournal.com profile] misscam and [livejournal.com profile] idreamedmusic
(with thanks to [livejournal.com profile] jessickuh for inspiration)


Have a sip when:

- A ship analogy is used - "the ship sails", "the ship has sunk", "the ship will hit an ice berg".
- "We still have fanfic".
- Sofia is referred to as 'the Spork'
- A shipname is flung around without being explained - Grillows, GSR, Sadle, Yobling, Hillbillies...
- CSI is declared to have jumped the shark

Have a drink when:

- A Nick/Sara shipper proclaims Nick and Sara have more "natural chemistry"
- Someone proclaims Grissom is like Sara's father
- Sara is declared to be unattractive, manly, a loser or similar
- Catherine is declared to get away with things Sara wouldn't with accusations of double standards
- Someone calls Sara an alcoholic
- A Cath/Gil shipper claims Catherine understands him better
- A bugname is used as a affectionate name - Sofia is "Grissom's Ladybug", Catherine is "Grissom'a Butterfly", Ecklie is "Hodges's Preying Mantis", etc.
- A ship is declared gross or disgusting
- A poster promises to throw up or declares to have thrown up already
- A poster declares she/he will never watch CSI again
- "CSI is dead to me"
- A GSR icon gloats about being Canon
- A Cath/Warrick shipper moans about this having supposed to be their ship's season
- Grissom is declared to be acting OOC
- A Grissom/Sara shipper actually types "squee" or "eee"
- Someone uses a picture of two actors as proof of their ship (Billy/Marg, Jorja/George)
- The "married couple" quote from TPTB on Grissom and Catherine is used by a shipper
- A poster claims to represent the view of the majority of the viewers
- A Grissom/Sara shipper feels cheated not to have seen the start of the relationship
- Grissom or Sara is declared having an unhealthy intrest in the other, like "stalking", "obsessing", by an opposing shipper.
- Babydoll abuses grammar while campaigning for Cath/Nick
- Eyesex gets mentioned
- A poster declares that if Sara hooks up with Grissom, she'd sink "so low" in the poster's esteem. Have another when the same gets tossed at Grissom.
- A song is applied to a ship
- Dido's "White Flag" is quoted
- A Grissom/Sara shipper calls another ship delusional
- A shipname gets mocked by an opposing ship
- A Personal Space Violation (PSV) is used as indication of a ship
- A Cath/Gil shipper declares Catherine's use of his first name as sign of true love. Also applies for some slash ships.
- The term UGLI is applied to anyone getting between the two people in your ship
- Invoking 'ships from other shows to strengthen yours though it has absolutely no bearing on it
- Someone declares Grissom incapable of emotion
- Praising a writer of a pro-ship episode and declaring a writer of a not so pro-ship episode to suck
- "They can't do this to us!"
- "Don't lose faith!"
- Use the multishipper excuse to at least have one of you diametrically opposed ships happening

Have two drinks when:

- Ratings are used to argue for or against a ship
- Fanfic is used to argue for or against a ship
- Tazzer says "Viva Gofia"
- A theory is presented on why Grissom/Sara won't last and the OP's ship will sail after all
- A poster claims Billy or Jorja is actually against GSR and was pressured into it
- A petition to beg TPTB to break Grissom and Sara up in season seven is launched
- A script is declared fanfic when it does nothing for your 'ship and of course it's info from a friend of a friend
- Grissom or Sara is declared a virgin
- "LH and Grissom are better suited since LH is much closer to his age" - despite MC being younger than JF in actual fact
- A Cath/Gil shipper makes a hint about Lindsey needing "a parternity test"
- An anti-GSR icon is used
- Nick and Sara are declared to "be like brother and sister"
- Babydoll compares Cath/Warrick to incest
- Cath/Gil shippers and Grissom/Sara shippers fight over which ship "owns" the butterfly symbol
- Spoilers for shippy scenes get written out as a script by someone other than the spoiler-poster.
- You make a dipshit out of yourself by constantly capitalizing things like "Our 'ship" or referring to the others as "That 'ship", like you're a holy order or something
- Acronyms get overused, for example: "The PSV in YGM so proved the UST between G/S that LH can go pee herself"
- A physical attribute of an actor is used to smack down a character - i.e Jorja's gapped teeth, or Marg's lips.
- Eyecandy factor of Young Turks is used in an argument of Grissom's lack of sexiness
- Writers for the show are counted in pro-ship or anti-ship camps
- A writer is bashed for writing an episode introducing a potential rival to the ship
- Poster goes on and on about the disgusting age different between Grissom and Sara, yet have no troubles lusting WP herself and finds nothing wrong with his marriage in real life
- A character not in your ship gets a "cute" nickname - Cath is called "slow-mo", for instance

Down the bottle when:

- CBS is declared homophobic for pushing a het ship
- A poster offers an elaborate theory on why Grissom and Sara are not together after all
- Babydoll writes a long letter to CM to help her see the light
- An actual declaration of shipwar is posted
- A fanfic rewriting the finale just to have the author's ship instead is posted
- A fanfic written just to bash a character is posted
- Jorja Fox is declared lesbian because she played one in ER
- Elaborate stories are invented to explain how Sofia's new necklace is a gift from Grissom, or how the plant in Sara's house is THE plant and how Nick and Greg are really gay despite having expressed interest in women

Throw a bottle on the poster when:

- A character's name gets misspelled

Feel free to add your own, and as ever, the Wankshelter bar is open and free for those who want to play.
Page 1 of 2 << [1] [2] >>

Date: 2006-05-12 04:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] idreamedmusic.livejournal.com
And I'm so the first one to test it. YAY!

Good think you got German beer in the wank shelter. ::huggles case of it in her corner::

Date: 2006-05-12 04:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] idreamedmusic.livejournal.com
Eeeeeeeeeeeeep, spelling rules. Typing think instead of thing.... not so much. I'm blaming it on me, uh, experimenting with the game. Yes.

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From: [identity profile] misscam.livejournal.com - Date: 2006-05-12 05:04 pm (UTC) - Expand

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From: [identity profile] idreamedmusic.livejournal.com - Date: 2006-05-12 05:09 pm (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2006-05-12 05:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] keskt.livejournal.com
Well... I never really liked my liver anyway, I guess. Bottoms up!

(erm, and what ship is "Hillbillies?")

Date: 2006-05-12 05:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] misscam.livejournal.com
It's one name for Cath/Nick. It's also known as Cowpokes and something else I forget.

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Date: 2006-05-12 05:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nymeria.livejournal.com
*Sighs* I'll be the wank-shelter's waitress, but if anyone gets really drunk off this game, I am so stealing their wallets before I roll 'em out the door. Just sayin'.

Date: 2006-05-12 05:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] misscam.livejournal.com
How... sneaky.

I approve.

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Date: 2006-05-12 05:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anitchka.livejournal.com
So ... I'm gonna be drunk for a while.

Date: 2006-05-12 05:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] misscam.livejournal.com
Damn straight.

Date: 2006-05-12 05:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] smalldiver.livejournal.com
You know, I think I'll just get myself on the register on a new liver now, since it won't be long before I'll be needing a new one...

A shipname is flung around without being explained - Grillows, GSR, Sadle, Yobling, Hillbillies...

Um, huh? I get that Grillows is Grissom/Willows, but as for the other ones...

Date: 2006-05-12 05:32 pm (UTC)
ext_7899: the tenth doctor stands alone (Default)
From: [identity profile] rhipowered.livejournal.com
GSR is Grissom/Sara (from MSR in X-Files), and above Cam says Hillbillies is Cath/Nick. But the rest...

[settles in for a drink]

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From: [identity profile] smalldiver.livejournal.com - Date: 2006-05-12 07:32 pm (UTC) - Expand

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From: [identity profile] highwindpav.livejournal.com - Date: 2006-05-12 05:43 pm (UTC) - Expand

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Date: 2006-05-12 05:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kerlin.livejournal.com
Oh my. Are you sure you have enough booze in the Wankshelter for that? For that matter, how about replacement livers?

Of course, I am very much game.

Date: 2006-05-12 06:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] misscam.livejournal.com
I have stocked it very impressively, I have. Livers, you'll have to talk to your insurance agents about.

*slides shot glasses over*

Date: 2006-05-12 05:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] highwindpav.livejournal.com
Does this work retroactively? If so, pass me a fifth of Captain Morgan and a six pack of Coke, wouldya? I have some catch-up drinking to do.

Date: 2006-05-12 06:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] misscam.livejournal.com
Only if you want it to ;)

*passes you drinks in either case*

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From: [identity profile] highwindpav.livejournal.com - Date: 2006-05-12 06:40 pm (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2006-05-12 05:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] susanmary14.livejournal.com
Good job a weekends coming, though I have to be sober for at least 45 minutes on Saturday night! Can I get everyone a couple of drinks by just saying Bang Bang totally proved my second favourite ship - Grass! Bottoms up.

Date: 2006-05-12 06:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] misscam.livejournal.com
One day, shipnames will drive me to insanity.

You grasshopper.

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Date: 2006-05-12 05:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sobran.livejournal.com
Oh. My. God. I'll be so pissed after, like, the first 20 seconds?
Great game, nonetheless, although I'm afraid I don't know any other CSI crazy people who'd be already drunken enough to play it with me xD

Date: 2006-05-12 05:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] idreamedmusic.livejournal.com
*raises hand*

Despite being GSR, I'll drink to anything ;)

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] misscam.livejournal.com - Date: 2006-05-12 06:35 pm (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2006-05-12 06:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jessickuh.livejournal.com
You called out two specific non-GSR shippers (Tazzer and Babydoll) I find that awesome. This is awesome as well:



Date: 2006-05-12 06:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] misscam.livejournal.com
Well, they are my two favourite batshit people ;) And I name my favourites, I do.

Date: 2006-05-12 06:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nostalgia-lj.livejournal.com
He chose her over the blonde then?

*has seen this show like twice*

Date: 2006-05-12 06:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] misscam.livejournal.com
Yes. The blonde is busy lusting someone else.

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Date: 2006-05-12 06:13 pm (UTC)
ext_23294: Gil Grissom from CSI wearing a stupid hat. (Default)
From: [identity profile] velocityofsound.livejournal.com
how Nick and Greg are really gay despite having expressed interest in women

o.0

The whole bottle? But... but... I actually read and enjoy slash communities. *wonders how to set up the IV*

Date: 2006-05-12 06:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] misscam.livejournal.com
But do those comms have elaborate stories presented as fact or just PWP fanfics?

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Date: 2006-05-12 06:17 pm (UTC)
ext_26772: (Default)
From: [identity profile] binx-349.livejournal.com
I think I love you guys. Seriously.

Bring on the wank! *raises glass*

Date: 2006-05-12 06:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] misscam.livejournal.com
*clinks in a toast*

Date: 2006-05-12 06:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gehayi.livejournal.com
What the hell is eyesex? Please tell me that it is NOT a man fucking the eye socket of a skull...

Date: 2006-05-12 07:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] misscam.livejournal.com
Heh, no. It's basically people giving each other a look that communicates 'hello, I want to do you'.

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Date: 2006-05-12 07:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hadria.livejournal.com
I'll be in a ditch somewhere after twenty seconds of reading any CSI message board.

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Date: 2006-05-12 08:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dragonlp86.livejournal.com
Yep. I'll be completely smashed going through the first page on ff.net. That, or dead from massive alcohol consumption. You can have my DW posters if I die, Cam.

<-- commits 2 sins

Date: 2006-05-12 09:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] syoban.livejournal.com
This game is truly a thing of beauty and hilarity.

I ♥ it.

Date: 2006-05-12 09:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_liselle_/
- Dido's "White Flag" is quoted

Hahahhahahahahhaahhaaahahahah!!

Date: 2006-05-12 09:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] siraj.livejournal.com
Here's one for the list:

Throw a bottle on the poster when:

"Any time anyone come up with a new shipname for something so completely asinine, not even fic would support it (yet it still gets written anyway)."

Date: 2006-05-12 09:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] siraj.livejournal.com
addendum:

*holds up his shot glass* if CSI gets any more wanky, I may have to break out the tequila... but for now, I'll start with whiskey.

Date: 2006-05-12 10:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nirix5.livejournal.com
I need to introduce this game to my roommates.

We'll all be shitfaced in a matter of minutes. It'll be better than New Year's!

Date: 2006-05-12 11:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] phdelicious.livejournal.com
I think I love you [livejournal.com profile] misscam! I was going to be drinking tonight anyways, but this will get me well and truly trashed! :-D

Date: 2006-05-13 01:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] avonassac.livejournal.com
Oh no, I feel a DUI coming on... Crap, I think I just referred to Sara being an alcoholic *drinks*

This is definently going in the memories - this is hilarious. :)

Date: 2006-05-13 01:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stella-polaris.livejournal.com
Good thing I don't drink.

Date: 2006-05-13 08:58 am (UTC)
nenya_kanadka: thin elegant black cartoon cat (Default)
From: [personal profile] nenya_kanadka
Now I've remembered why I never follow 'new' fandoms (ones whose shows are still airing for the first time). It's much easier to avoid the wank for old ones.

(Of course, my not having real TV access has nothing to do with me not watching the new stuff, nope. :P But my point about the benefits of TV deprivation still stands, I think.)

Is it wrong that I'm jealous of you guys for the fun you're having in the antiwank shelter? I mean, I'm here, I'm just kinda sitting in the corner giggling... :D *quaffs Romulan ale again*

Date: 2006-05-14 03:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] colorstoobright.livejournal.com
I am seriously, ridiculously in love with you after this.
Page 1 of 2 << [1] [2] >>

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