Dear widdle world...
Sep. 15th, 2006 08:56 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
misscamDear Norwegian government,
when I voted for the "red-green alternative", I wasn't really expecting too much difference from the conservative lot and indeed, I've been right. And I wasn't expecting you to fulfill all your promises before the election, as no one ever do. But fuck you, you said you'd raise the minimum level on tax when we import from 200 NOK to 1000 NOK and you BETTER DAMN WELL DO IT ALREADY. You realise when I order DVD boxsets from abroad I often have to pay more in fees than I do in tax and for the boxset itself because getting it through customs is a tiresome inane process? These are minor purchases. Our country is already effing rich. You can afford to fulfill this particular promise and raise the limit. YOU PROMISED WHINE WHINE WHINE.
Your disgruntled voter,
Camilla
***
Dear Norwegian government II,
AWESOME
I love the fact that Norway could actually buy Manhatten. Could we buy all of Trump's holdings for nefarious socialistic purposes, please?
Much amusement,
Cam
***
Dear "glowinginjesus",
who the hell are you and why are you telling me you've changed your e-mail and then quoting the Bible at me? You can't know me too well, surely.
Your slightly puzzled atheist,
Cam
***
Dear CSI fandom,
you're just going to go totally batshit this season, aren't you?
Your alcohol-supplying wankshelter-tender,
Cam
***
Dear Doctor Who fandom,
for all the hate, you're still like a cute little lovable puppy. Only you do bite a lot of shoes and drool all over the carpets. And try not to dig up all the buried skeletons, yeah?
Mostly love,
Cam
***
Dear Bush,
you want to 'redefine' the *Geneva Convention*? Dude, even people of your own party is telling you it's such a bad, bad idea. You do realise that if people could just redefine that one on political whims, the convention is pretty much nul and void? There are always incovenient parts in an international treaty. You being so fond of democracy and all - those things aren't at work just at the national level, you know. Sometimes, even your country has to bow to an international majority. Yeah. It's a bitch like that, democracy and international cooperation.
I'm looking at you too, Norway. Actually, I think I'm looking at every bloody country out there.
Much disgust,
Cam
***
Dear certain Aussie Idiots,
WHAT
What the hell is that, 'Vendetta Against Stingrays'? Idiots! Man, I hope the ghost of Irwin drops a ghost crocodile in your beds and scare the piss out of you. Way to honour the dead, shitheads.
Much WTFery,
Cam
***
Dear Blair,
Give it fucking up already. You're making even me tense.
Your friendly Norwegian,
Cam
***
Dear hot men of the world,
as you were. Mmm.
Love,
Cam
***
Dear Sweden,
good luck not electing gits!
Neighbourly affection,
Cam
***
Dear Norwegian imams,
whyyyyyy? You wouldn't be the first faith to have nutters, you know. Please not be going all X-Files on me. You just make me miss Mulder and Scully.
Your sighing countrywoman,
Cam
***
Dear widdle world,
how about we try to make you suck a little less at times, huh?
Ever yours, at least until an alien whisks me away,
Cam
As ever, feel free to 'Dear Cam' me. (Some previous 'Dear world' can be found here.)
when I voted for the "red-green alternative", I wasn't really expecting too much difference from the conservative lot and indeed, I've been right. And I wasn't expecting you to fulfill all your promises before the election, as no one ever do. But fuck you, you said you'd raise the minimum level on tax when we import from 200 NOK to 1000 NOK and you BETTER DAMN WELL DO IT ALREADY. You realise when I order DVD boxsets from abroad I often have to pay more in fees than I do in tax and for the boxset itself because getting it through customs is a tiresome inane process? These are minor purchases. Our country is already effing rich. You can afford to fulfill this particular promise and raise the limit. YOU PROMISED WHINE WHINE WHINE.
Your disgruntled voter,
Camilla
***
Dear Norwegian government II,
AWESOME
I love the fact that Norway could actually buy Manhatten. Could we buy all of Trump's holdings for nefarious socialistic purposes, please?
Much amusement,
Cam
***
Dear "glowinginjesus",
who the hell are you and why are you telling me you've changed your e-mail and then quoting the Bible at me? You can't know me too well, surely.
Your slightly puzzled atheist,
Cam
***
Dear CSI fandom,
you're just going to go totally batshit this season, aren't you?
Your alcohol-supplying wankshelter-tender,
Cam
***
Dear Doctor Who fandom,
for all the hate, you're still like a cute little lovable puppy. Only you do bite a lot of shoes and drool all over the carpets. And try not to dig up all the buried skeletons, yeah?
Mostly love,
Cam
***
Dear Bush,
you want to 'redefine' the *Geneva Convention*? Dude, even people of your own party is telling you it's such a bad, bad idea. You do realise that if people could just redefine that one on political whims, the convention is pretty much nul and void? There are always incovenient parts in an international treaty. You being so fond of democracy and all - those things aren't at work just at the national level, you know. Sometimes, even your country has to bow to an international majority. Yeah. It's a bitch like that, democracy and international cooperation.
I'm looking at you too, Norway. Actually, I think I'm looking at every bloody country out there.
Much disgust,
Cam
***
Dear certain Aussie Idiots,
WHAT
What the hell is that, 'Vendetta Against Stingrays'? Idiots! Man, I hope the ghost of Irwin drops a ghost crocodile in your beds and scare the piss out of you. Way to honour the dead, shitheads.
Much WTFery,
Cam
***
Dear Blair,
Give it fucking up already. You're making even me tense.
Your friendly Norwegian,
Cam
***
Dear hot men of the world,
as you were. Mmm.
Love,
Cam
***
Dear Sweden,
good luck not electing gits!
Neighbourly affection,
Cam
***
Dear Norwegian imams,
whyyyyyy? You wouldn't be the first faith to have nutters, you know. Please not be going all X-Files on me. You just make me miss Mulder and Scully.
Your sighing countrywoman,
Cam
***
Dear widdle world,
how about we try to make you suck a little less at times, huh?
Ever yours, at least until an alien whisks me away,
Cam
As ever, feel free to 'Dear Cam' me. (Some previous 'Dear world' can be found here.)
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-09-15 07:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-15 07:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-15 07:16 pm (UTC)What bribery will you accept for more DW fic? The table is open for negotiations and will be tended by shirtless hot men with shorts that just barely ride their hips and really, make you think gravity should be just a tad stronger. *ahem*
Yours,
The bored and fic-hungry of the DW fandom
no subject
Date: 2006-09-15 07:49 pm (UTC)If you can manage to lure my inspiration back, I'm certainly open for further talks. It seems to have gone for a walk and not returned.
Hopefully writing yours,
Cam
no subject
Date: 2006-09-15 07:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-15 07:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-15 07:19 pm (UTC)Shall the CSI Wank ever stop?
Next week we have angst starting out season 7. OH why must they do this to the already hungover masses...
Even if it will involve GSR and Catherine/Warrick...
A very confused
Sarah
no subject
Date: 2006-09-15 07:51 pm (UTC)no.
Sad greetings,
Cam
no subject
Date: 2006-09-15 07:22 pm (UTC)good luck not electing gits!
Neighbourly affection,
Cam
And these gits would be?
no subject
Date: 2006-09-15 07:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-15 07:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-15 08:33 pm (UTC)Shame both can't lose.
no subject
Date: 2006-09-15 07:26 pm (UTC)You don't understand.
International law only counts when it applies to *other people*.
Yours sincerely,
George W. Bush
Dictator-For-Life
no subject
Date: 2006-09-15 07:53 pm (UTC)on behalf of other people, may your double standards get stuck in your anus.
No love,
Cam
no subject
Date: 2006-09-15 08:33 pm (UTC)You're a foreigner, aren't you?
La la la I can 't HEAR you.
The President Of The Only Real Country, Which Isn't Yours
no subject
Date: 2006-09-15 08:40 pm (UTC)a foreigner with *oil*, you twat. We could rise the oil price to such heights you'd get feathered and tarred out of the White House. And then we could buy Texas and turn it into a socialistic shrine.
A citizen of a country with an actual good and working economy,
Your Not Friend
no subject
Date: 2006-09-16 01:35 am (UTC)Please start the buying of Texas quickly, we have a lot of poor children who really need shoes.
A sad Texan.
no subject
Date: 2006-09-16 02:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-15 07:32 pm (UTC)On Swedens behalf, I thank thee, and shall do my best at keeping the gits out of the game.
As to say. ^_^
no subject
Date: 2006-09-15 07:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-15 08:06 pm (UTC)Have not located relevant links as of yet. Shall endeavor to do so this weekend.
In the meantime, I'm sending over fresh supplies for the wankshelter.
Yours in self-medication,
Ali
no subject
Date: 2006-09-15 08:34 pm (UTC)Aquavit and tequila is on stand-by for you next week.
Your friendly bartender,
Cam
no subject
Date: 2006-09-15 08:25 pm (UTC)In my defense I feel I should point out that I'm not the only one behaving like a complete arsehole. My plan to destroy any faith the voters may have had in the Labour party is being ably assisted by my colleagues.
Yours,
Tony
no subject
Date: 2006-09-15 08:35 pm (UTC)point well made. I don't suppose you could accidentally kidnap with you some of these people when you resign? I'm sure it would greatly help to restore your public image.
Somewhat friendly Labour greetings,
Cam
no subject
Date: 2006-09-15 10:31 pm (UTC)I have given ten years of my life to
George Bushmy country and was happy to do so, but I think it's above and beyond the call of duty to spend any more time with Gordon and co than is strictly necessary.Can I come and visit you next summer? I will probably have some time on my hands and it would be nice to see a somewhat friendly face.
Yours hopefully,
Tony
no subject
Date: 2006-09-15 11:46 pm (UTC)you could accidentally lose them while on holiday in the Australian desert? Your country would be ever so gratetful, I am sure. Might even not vote for the Tories come election. (And you don't want the Tories back with all their kinky sex. Um. I think. Do you?) Or those Lib Dems, which I'm not sure what stand for, but that's okay, because they don't seem to either.
Hmm. Well, in the name of Labour brother- and sisterhood, you may come. As long as you don't bring George. There are limits to solidarity and all.
Bring swim wear. Fjord dips are good for the blood pressure and headaches
from ungrateful minions backstabbinglong party meetings.Your socially,
Cam
no subject
Date: 2006-09-16 01:19 pm (UTC)Good idea. I think I could just about handle the flight with them. Re: the Tories; The kinky sex isn't the problem.
Don't worry about George. He's a busy man and probably won't have
any use for a lackey who isn't in powertime for fjord swimming.Yours in swimwear,
Tony
no subject
Date: 2006-09-16 03:11 am (UTC)May I steal that icon?
Sincerely,
A Tea Addict
no subject
Date: 2006-09-16 01:27 pm (UTC)Help yourself. I have many a tea icon; you're welcome to any of them. Check my user info for the maker.
Sincerely,
A fellow addict.
no subject
Date: 2006-09-17 11:21 am (UTC)I have done so. What an amazing tea icon set by
Thank you ever so much.
Sincerely,
Far Too Awake From Caffeine Intake
no subject
Date: 2006-09-17 06:34 pm (UTC)You're quite welcome. I would strongly recommend
Sincerely,
In Desperate Need Of Caffeine
no subject
Date: 2006-09-18 01:56 am (UTC)Thank you!
Sincerely,
Nenya
no subject
Date: 2006-09-15 08:48 pm (UTC)She must have had you pegged as a bible thumper from the moment she saw you. You with your wank shelters (that serves that ungodly alcohol) and your tirades against those that God has chosen as leaders of this world that we live in. So naturally, her assumption must have been you needed redemption!
Love,
Michelle
*laughing all the way to the bar*
no subject
Date: 2006-09-15 11:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-15 09:25 pm (UTC)Dear hot men of the world,
as you were. Mmm.
Love,
Cam
That so needs to be put in an icon. It seems like most of the world is batshit insane. Although Norway should buy Manhattan, well Donald Trumps investments anyway, I'm fed up of golf courses.
no subject
Date: 2006-09-15 11:34 pm (UTC)Norwegians aren't that fond of golf. We're more likely to build ski tracks and football - real football! - fields. Whee.
no subject
Date: 2006-09-16 09:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-16 12:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-16 12:34 am (UTC)Frankly I don't want to vote for either of you. Yes, I am talking you Kim Beazley with your "everyone who comes in to Australia has to sign some bizzare Australian values pledge." You make me want to hit things.
As for John Howard well - *bleugh*
A *fishslap* in the general direction of both of them,
Olive.
no subject
Date: 2006-09-18 05:19 am (UTC)Could you all maybe start speaking up, so those of us who don't want to be stuck with either Tweedledum or Tweedle-even-dumber can at least have a nice handy *alternative*? I mean, I wouldn't know the current leader of the Democrats if I bumped into them in a dark alley, and when it comes to the Greens, I'm just hoping they're going to bother with fielding a candidate or two. This carries on for much longer, I'm going to wind up having to vote for the Citizen's Electoral Lobby, and they're a bunch of wingnuts.
Meg
no subject
Date: 2006-09-16 12:43 am (UTC)Can you have a big series premiere at your wankshelter? And may I dance on top of the bar?
Yours Truly,
Jess
no subject
Date: 2006-09-16 01:05 am (UTC)Let it all out. Hold nothing back!
Love,
Anaïs
Dear Cam
Date: 2006-09-16 02:11 am (UTC)--Jocelyn
***
Dear Dubya,
Man, you're even starting to scare the fundies. And giving a ranty, whiny, "If you don't do it my way, I won't interrogate the pris'ners at all!" schpiel on CNN is not going to convince John McCain, a former POW--who annoys me at times but at least doesn't make me want to vomit--to let you chuck the Geneva Convention out the window with your pity little rewrite solely on your word of "Have I ever lied to ya'll folks there?"
Jon Stewart got it right--nothing is more scary than George W. Bush saying, "Trust me."
--Jocelyn
no subject
Date: 2006-09-16 02:22 am (UTC)Mulder and Scully in the White House would be amusing, you must admit.
Also, you may get a laugh out of this... what do you get when you take a bored dude who's average at splicing video clips, the U2 song "Sunday Bloody Sunday", and a load of batshit Bush speeches?
This: http://view.break.com/111184
Also, willing to be at your beck and call this weekend for anything you might desire (within reason, naturally), as I am in a cheery mood as a result of my birthday being on Sunday.
no subject
Date: 2006-09-17 02:28 am (UTC)I used to think you were just regular people, like Brits with sheep and funnier accents, but now I realize that you are often almost as arrogant and stupid as Americans.
I'm leaving you for the Kiwis. I've been seeing them since June.
~A disillusioned American
***
Dear Norway,
You have an enourmous amount of oil money, yet your government will not use anything but the interest, even to build new roads, and your taxes and so on are some of the highest in the world. I have severely underfunded schools, but my government (and the governments of my states) have a habit of using any over-budget money to cut taxes, even if debts are outstanding. Do you suppose that there are any governments which have managed to find a happy medium?
Wistfully,
America