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misscamHow do I feel about what Thalia did?
I'm not going to be one of those who will say 'water under the bridge, you made a mistake, let's move on'. Some people have taken that path, and that's their choice. I've taken that path with some of the other people that have lied to me on the Net, so it's not like I'm terribly unforgiving. You apologise to me, and I tend to move on. Not like I haven't done stupid, stupid things myself. Sometimes, it's best just to forget and let it go.
But this is different to me.
For one thing, from what I have gathered, Thalia only owned up because she was backed into a corner and would have been revealed anyway. So, to me her reaction looks more like damage control than anything else. That's my feeling, I don't claim it to be true. But okay, say she's genuinly sorry. I might have been able to forgive her had it just been the Eliana thing.
But it's not, is it? There's also the plagiarism scams. And that... Maybe I'm a horrid, selfish person, but that I just can't get over.
The plagiarism scams came about just after I had been plagiarised. In fact, Thalia reported her first plagiarism scam just two days after the whole evilchild debacle started (if some of you remember that) in the beginning of February. Her e-mail starts with "Apparently, not only OFUM is being plagiarized anymore", even. Not only did she do this ploy once - she did it twice. The OFUM group supported her, flamed 'the plagiarist' and rejoiced when the stories were pulled. For nothing.
To me it looks like that I was plagiarised trigged her little scam. Maybe she saw the attention a plagiarism brings and desired some of the same, I don't know. But I feel... almost violated. Its like she cheapened that whole shitty experience. She thinks plagiairism is fun? Plagiairism is desirable to have happen to you? Well, she can certainly have all the times it's happened to me for free.
So I feel slightly stronger about this than others might. But even then, I might have been able to get over it, if I felt there was geuine remorse. But I'm not feeling it. Maybe because when I talked to her, I did not even get a personal apology. Sure, she has apologised in her journal, but that just to me looks like more drama. All I'm feeling is parrot-replies, with a whiff of 'pity me'. (But of course I could be seeing what I want to see. I want to resent Thalia, I see no remorse. That is possible.)
And this wasn't just some little lie. This was an eleborate scam, twice with the plagiairism incidents and then another one with invented Eliana. If she hadn't been backed into a corner on this, would she have staged even more attention and emotion-pulling stunts?
I don't know, but I think yes. And I'm not feeling any remorse from her. And I feel like she took a painful experience of mine, copied elements of it and pulled a pity-ploy. Does she even realise how that makes me feel?
Why should I forgive all this? Out of the goodness of my heart?
Well, my heart is just not feeling that good today. Maybe that makes me a lesser person, and maybe I shouldn't feel so personally offended by this all or so bitter, but there it is. This is how I feel about what Thalia did.
ETA: This is not meant to in any way, shape or form influence anyone else's opinion. I just wrote it down, as I'm feeling a lot of resentment and if I do nothing with it, it's just going to fester.
I'm not going to be one of those who will say 'water under the bridge, you made a mistake, let's move on'. Some people have taken that path, and that's their choice. I've taken that path with some of the other people that have lied to me on the Net, so it's not like I'm terribly unforgiving. You apologise to me, and I tend to move on. Not like I haven't done stupid, stupid things myself. Sometimes, it's best just to forget and let it go.
But this is different to me.
For one thing, from what I have gathered, Thalia only owned up because she was backed into a corner and would have been revealed anyway. So, to me her reaction looks more like damage control than anything else. That's my feeling, I don't claim it to be true. But okay, say she's genuinly sorry. I might have been able to forgive her had it just been the Eliana thing.
But it's not, is it? There's also the plagiarism scams. And that... Maybe I'm a horrid, selfish person, but that I just can't get over.
The plagiarism scams came about just after I had been plagiarised. In fact, Thalia reported her first plagiarism scam just two days after the whole evilchild debacle started (if some of you remember that) in the beginning of February. Her e-mail starts with "Apparently, not only OFUM is being plagiarized anymore", even. Not only did she do this ploy once - she did it twice. The OFUM group supported her, flamed 'the plagiarist' and rejoiced when the stories were pulled. For nothing.
To me it looks like that I was plagiarised trigged her little scam. Maybe she saw the attention a plagiarism brings and desired some of the same, I don't know. But I feel... almost violated. Its like she cheapened that whole shitty experience. She thinks plagiairism is fun? Plagiairism is desirable to have happen to you? Well, she can certainly have all the times it's happened to me for free.
So I feel slightly stronger about this than others might. But even then, I might have been able to get over it, if I felt there was geuine remorse. But I'm not feeling it. Maybe because when I talked to her, I did not even get a personal apology. Sure, she has apologised in her journal, but that just to me looks like more drama. All I'm feeling is parrot-replies, with a whiff of 'pity me'. (But of course I could be seeing what I want to see. I want to resent Thalia, I see no remorse. That is possible.)
And this wasn't just some little lie. This was an eleborate scam, twice with the plagiairism incidents and then another one with invented Eliana. If she hadn't been backed into a corner on this, would she have staged even more attention and emotion-pulling stunts?
I don't know, but I think yes. And I'm not feeling any remorse from her. And I feel like she took a painful experience of mine, copied elements of it and pulled a pity-ploy. Does she even realise how that makes me feel?
Why should I forgive all this? Out of the goodness of my heart?
Well, my heart is just not feeling that good today. Maybe that makes me a lesser person, and maybe I shouldn't feel so personally offended by this all or so bitter, but there it is. This is how I feel about what Thalia did.
ETA: This is not meant to in any way, shape or form influence anyone else's opinion. I just wrote it down, as I'm feeling a lot of resentment and if I do nothing with it, it's just going to fester.
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no subject
Date: 2003-11-01 10:46 am (UTC)I started to realise that the Thalia I had been friends with, is not the person I thought I knew. It wasn't just the made-up stories and staged plagiarism, although that was certainly bad enough, and a heinous crime unto itself. She lied on a continual basis, even in IMs. And this made me really sad, first because I was gullible enough to believe all of it... and second because she could do such a thing to people she is/was close to.
So I'm not trying to flame Thalia after all she's been through with her little confession, but really, it hurt me more than it did her. She may be suffering from her own lies now, but we, as the people she deceived, are first and foremost the victims. And I'm not really in a mood to try and look at things from her point of view right now.
~Shada