The Internet Will Make You Pregnant

[misscam]

I'm amused. Greatly.
Behold the great lecture on birth control in fanfic. Witness any good point the OP might have had get washed away by insults, backpedalling and Virgin Mary as proof that not even being a virgin is sure way of avoid pregnancy. I'm wondering if she's opening up a business to sell fictional condoms, or something.

While laughing, read this. Very not-work-safe. But brilliant. Even with the doorbell analogy.

And a great big fat uh oh to hostage fears troops targeted her. That will not do anything good for American PR, whether it be true or not.

Fandom might be a wank heaven, but it's safer and mostly less disturbing than real life, at least.

Probably.

Maybe.

Comments

[cathgrissom86.livejournal.com]

or if you are sleeping with a Muggle who may wonder why you are holding and wand and muttering to your genitals

OMFG. That was brilliant. But the image of someone muttering to their penis ... priceless.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Hehehe.

Shouldn't you be in bed though, miss nuaghty?

[cathgrissom86.livejournal.com]

I totally should. But I'm not. All hail me.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

*hails*

[aervir.livejournal.com]

Very amusing -- the birth control debate and the sex education class, I mean, not the oh-no-not-yet-another-mess-in-Iraq news.

Somehow it does seem to be far easier to wonder about the absence of sexually transmitted diseases in Tolkien-slash and the lack of birth control in het smut than about the current state of foreign affairs...

And they can't have had the pill in the Shire. Think of poor Rosie's thirteen hobbit kids! She must have wished that Frodo had stayed in order to keep Sam busy elsewhere.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah. Today's foreign policy leaves me with a desire to live as a Norwegian hermit.

Thirteen child births does make one wonder what Rosie might yell at Sam when he knocked her up yet *again*.

[perhatikan.livejournal.com]

If fertilization doesn't occur, the female goes through a sort of lycanthropy for a few days prior to the body's disposal of the egg. Though thier outward appearance may not change, women in this stage are dangerous beasts that are not to be provoked under any circumstances if you've any wish to continue life with your limbs attatched.

Now THAT explains why my brother doesn't come anywhere near me when it's that time of the month. =)



If that blunder in Iraq is true, the Americans should be in for some repercussions.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

:P:P

They're in for a PR nightmare either way, really. Ow.

[perhatikan.livejournal.com]

Especially since they just finished their charm offensive to repair the wonky Europe-USA relationship.

(I heard on the news that the Italian government is going to investigate what actally happened.)

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Whether or not that charm offensive worked is another matter...

[perhatikan.livejournal.com]

You're right on that one. I don't know if France and Germany have fallen for it, at least in front of the media it was said it worked. (Not mentioning any form of blackmail of course.) It says nothing about the sentiments of the people on the streets.

Not that it matters a lot for my little country, my government has been licking Bush's boots since the beginning. But then again this govenment doesn't seem to listen to it's voters anymore.

[perdu-01.livejournal.com]

Quite hilarious even though I have heard of them all before. That's what nursing school will do to you. The sarcastic edge makes it amusing. Still, I have one problem with that list.

-Depo-Provera aka The Shot

Not if you want your bones in one piece. The shot leeches calcium from your body. They are probably going to take it off the market (at least in the US) since it causes these problems.

[chem-nerd.livejournal.com]

While you're at it, stop drinking pepsi/coke. That leaches calcium from your bones too. *really ought to be taking calcium supplements*

[perdu-01.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that too. Drink more milk. Personally, I like skim, but I am aware that most of the world disagrees with me. Whole milk is just too...thick. The texture of it bothers me.

[chem-nerd.livejournal.com]

Unfortunately, I'm allergic to milk.

[perdu-01.livejournal.com]

Bummer. Yeah, calcium supplements are good things. Get the ones that have Vit. D in them. It helps the absorption into your system.

[krazykat.livejournal.com]

I, too, am allergic to milk. I've never met another person with this allergy. I know plenty of lactose intolerant people.

[huinesoron.livejournal.com]

You've not? I'm allergic to milk, too.
And then there were three...

[chem-nerd.livejournal.com]

Nope, just two. Technically, I'm actually just cassein intolerant, but no one's ever heard of cassein. My youngest sister has a true dairy allergy though. It's actually a pretty rare allergy.

[b2wm.livejournal.com]

I know there are some brands of orange juice with calcium supplements as well. *Kicks back another glass of Minute Maid*

Gods, I know I created a couple fanon birth-control herbs for my LotR Mary Sue, but there are really times when a fic can give too much information.

[sinneahtes.livejournal.com]

*giggles* Ha, the person who wrote the birth control rant also helped cause the English major rant last month to find its way to Fandom Wank. She's fun, isn't she. :P

But birth control in fanfic? Doesn't it like, kill a mood to pay too much attention to things like that, especially if the fic (or that part of the fic) is intended to just be sexy?

*worries about and for the hostage* I'm so tired of America's excuses and how our trust as basically been flushed down the toilet... it's all the worse that we were as hated by some as we were before 9/11, and now all this.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

She's a riot.

Yeah. I mean, she could have raised some interesting points about how we portray reality in fanfic, but the way she responds to any argument against her is where the gold wank comes.

[vulgarweed.livejournal.com]

I suppose wanting to see more "social responsibility" or realism in fanfic isn't a bad thing; it's more the way she got superwanky in comments. I AM CORRECT! YOU ARE A CALLOUS IDIOT! But yeah, it's teh pr0n, not a public service announcement.

*shrug* I write like, 80% slash anyway. (I always want to tell the Xtian Taliban types: Against abortion? Go gay! Same-sex lovin' prevents unwanted pregnancy 100%!)


My country became an embarrassment long ago. And not just a drunk-relative-singing-and-and-puking-and-hitting-on-people kind of embarrassment, but a tragic, murderous, bumbling, arrogant global humiliation. I'm starting to run out of apologies.

[git-the-goddess.livejournal.com]

Buy the T-shirt and save time.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah, it's her replies that brought the wank - it could have been an actual interesting discussion on some level. I did actually consider how I write sex myself there, but then she brought in Virgin Mary and my brain forgot about it all in a fit of laughter.

Sneeeeerk. Surely only the spawn of the devil would utter such horridness? :P

I was amused by the "we apologise" t-shirts for embaressed Americans going abroad the other day. Poor US, in some ways.

[furrybanana.livejournal.com]

Oh my gawd!! How did you find this?!?!

Watch who you sleep with, for you are sleeping with everyone that person slept with. Though some of you may like that thought, I personally find it rather unsettling.

Heehee!! *dies laughing*

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Friends give friends amusing links ;)

[mademoisellenon.livejournal.com]

You know when that whole Jessica Whatsherface was being rescued (wasn't she Jessica?), there was talk that Americans made a much bigger deal of the whole rescue than what it actually was.

Granted! It's quite possible, in fact, that maybe it were somewhat blown out of proportion, especially when the whole thing went down, U.S. was in major hot water of WMD and whatnot.

But since then, there've been incidents of Americans shooting their own people. By accident too, mind you. They've been doing that in Afghanistan, they've been doing that in Iraq. I'm thinking paranoia is running rampant and with all due respect to the Italian journalist, she should maybe calm down a bit before accusing Americans of trying to kill her. Stress and all, you know?

Seriously, sometimes I almost feel bad for good ole U.S. To have so much shit happen to them in such a short period of time...Ouch! And now there's talk of Paris hosting the 2012 Olympics (wheeee!) though NYC would have been just as good but then there's this major anti-American sentiment travelling around... Hmmmm!

[chem-nerd.livejournal.com]

Actually, I'm rather hoping to see Moscow host them in 2012. They kinda got jipped last time. America hosts them all the time...far more times than any other country I would guess. Let someone else have a turn. Incidentally, who has them in 2006?

[mademoisellenon.livejournal.com]

No clue who's hosting them for 2006 though you'd think that people would actually concentrate more on the Olympics that are *closer* than those that are in 2016.

Yes, if Moscow would host them, that would be sweet but I doubt that would happen, Russia currently being the black sheep of the civilized world as it were. Pity! Once such a great country to be reduced to something like this...

[chem-nerd.livejournal.com]

Moscow is in fact a candidate city. And Russia is starting to get themselves put backtogether. I think they have a chance. For all the horrorrs of the tradjedy in Beslan, it has at least reminded everyone that they are all Russians, and they must band together.

[mademoisellenon.livejournal.com]

Better late than never, I suppose. For Moscow to host it (we are talking about 2006 right now, no?) it would be an honour and would remind several people of the position they once held.

[chem-nerd.livejournal.com]

Nope, they're one of the candidates for 2012.

[mademoisellenon.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's what I heard. Ah, well, we shall see, I suppose...

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Well, if I'd been rescued by my own countrymen after such an ordeal and then have Americans shoot at me and kill one of my rescuers, I think I'd be irate myself. But of course, her perspective of it is coloured - as is the soldiers'. Who knows what really went down?

The US just hosted the Olympics in 2002. Now they want it again? They can wait, I say.

[mademoisellenon.livejournal.com]

But US likes having all the fun. Haven't you noticed yet?

At this point, nobody can really tell what's really going down in Iraq. That's what's so scary. Everybody is screaming about "their" story when in truth, a lot of them are lies...

[sliven.livejournal.com]

Hee hee, doorbell... 's a good analogy, methinks. Very accurate. ^_~!