Writing Updates and Slight Rant

[misscam]

East of the Sun, West of the Moon has Chapter Ten up, and there be C/W naughtiness. (You can also find it here)

You realise just how much stories can live their own life when you have carefully planned just how Grissom is going to be an ass - and instead, he actually acts somewhat considerate and ends up taking a risk. Grissom, why are you being so nice in my mind? Stop it! (This is a future chapter - I just finished ch. 16. Go fast-writing me.)

Also, I had an evil W/S C/W G/S plotbunny of doom last night just as I was going to sleep. I even have parts written down. I'm a bad girl.

I'm also carefully preparing for my 500th post on GAFF with a truly hideous G/S story that I've tortured some of my friends with. But all this leads me to today's topic of minor rant - sex and CSIfic. Not always a match made in heaven.

Now, you're young, you want to write sex - and you don't yet have that much experience yourself. That's fine. I'm not asking you to go out and get laid in the name of smutfic research (unless you want to). But if you want to write Grissom and Sara happily at it on Grissom's desk, or Catherine and Warrick playing naughty bunnies in the lockerroom, *know what you write*. And by 'know', I don't mean read romance novels. A few facts of sexlife:

1) Simultaneous orgasms are not the norm. They are rare.
2) A body of seventeen is not the same as a body of fifty nor is the sexual stamina. Grissom does not have the power of the Energizer Bunny.
3) Sex isn't always the greatest thing you've ever had. Sometimes, it can be meh.
4) Sex does not heal any of the following: Rape, torture, abuse, hunger, wars, broken bones or amnesia. It can be a comfort, yes, but if it healed, the world's population would be a heck of lot more healthy in all ways.
5) The penis is a nifty thing, yes, but the mere sight of it or thrust of it will not make a woman orgasm at the spot. Know thine clitoris.
6) Sex isn't the only way a couple bonds.
7) People in their thirties and fourties have as a rule had sex quite a few times. They are not going to start acting like teenage virgins all of a sudden.
8) It takes a couple a little while to sort out the terrain and get to know just what the other partner likes. No one instantly knows every thing another human being gets off on. Not even Grissom.

I could probably think of a few more, but I'm lazy.

Today's meme:
Invent-a-meme! Comment and give me a meme to do of your invention. I will answer in the comments.

Comments

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Not my fault you're broadcasting your thoughts so loudly :P

Smut manifesto? Now that is sorely needed because damn, I've read some seriously, seriously bad smut in the CSI fandom.

1) Wrath Valkyrie.
2) Black leather, black leather whip, boots that can kick out sharp skikes, a belt where trouts can hang.
3) I can call upon the powers of the Nordic Gods, make trouts deadly and make any male pregnant.
4) It's up high on a Norwegian mountain and it's a king-size cabin with a sauna, access to satelites and hefty computer surveilance and has a male harem.
5) It was composed by Nick Cave and is called Ride Forth, Woman of Battle.
6) Saz, the Smeg of Justice and Warrick, Dark Hot Avenger.
7) Thor's carriage.
8) Odin.
9) Off the Shrub and make the US "New Vinland".
10.) The Right-Wingers and they will be defeated by gay porn.

[velocityofsound.livejournal.com]

When I get a draft of it done, would you like to/mind giving it a read-over? Also, I am going to blatantly steal (link to anyway) some of your rants re: rapefic for it. You have expressed some things much more eloquetly than I ever could.

Ride Forth, Woman of Battle needs to be a song now. NOW I SAY! Excellent answers, thank you. I am quite pleased.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Not at all, I'd be honoured.

Yes. And Nick Cave needs to sing it to me in his dark, seducing voice. Now.