Wank, Likes and Tone

[misscam]

Harry Potter fandom wanks on

CSI fandom is apparently also behaving wanky. So. Much. Wank. Why, oh why? There are days I wonder why I'm still about - but I guess I'm too fond of fanfic writing and reading to really bugger off. Plus, you do meet some very neat people. *waves to flist*

Everyone keeps saying how fandom is like high school, but of course, I never went to high school. The Norwegian school system is somewhat different, as is the culture. Does make me wonder who I am in this fandom-high-school set-up, though. Mean girl? Quiet girl? Popular girl? Or all at once and neither? I'm not really sure I fit in any particular category. Maybe I should invent one for myself.

It did get me thinking about how you meet people online and form a liking to them - or not. It's impossible for me to judge how likeable I myself am, of course, but I have certain likeable traits (unless you're all just stringing me along, you cruel people). But I certainly have my bad sides, among them a tendency to hold grudges. And I remember slights. And once I've decided to dislike someone, I certainly don't change my mind easily.

Recently, I came to realise that someone I've known quite a while, and even was on friendly terms with a while, I now quite dislike. I also realised that I've been disliking her for quite some time, but had been trying to overcome it. I couldn't really exactly pinpoint why I disliked her. I'm sure some of you know that feeling - it's a bugger, as you get annoyed with yourself for feeling as you do and really, feel like there should be some justification for the dislike. At least that's how I tend to feel. People can be quite nice to me and I can still dislike them. There's not even always a seemingly logical reason to it. (And don't get all paranoid - said person is not on my flist.)

So what is likeability really? Is it sometimes as simple as two people meeting when both having a good day and dislike can be as simple as the same two having a bad day?

I think a lot is to do with tone - online, what you have are words and how those words were written and how they are read can differ. I know in the past I've gotten offended by how I felt the tone of a post to, without the poster neccessarily intending any offence. And really, it's hard to say who's right and who's wrong in such cases. You can be offensive without intension and offence can be found where none is, since words are always interpreted.

And then I think maybe it isn't so odd there's so much wank about anyway.

And then I think I should think less and write fanfic while ogling males instead. (Mmm, icon.)

So, as a fitting meme - comment with something likeable about me, and I shall reply with something likeable about you.

Or if that bores you or you've newly friended me - ask me any four questions you want and I'll answer and increase your knowledge of me (and maybe even my likeability, or lack thereof).

Comments

[puredeadthingy.livejournal.com]

You have an eye for detail in your writing.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

I never think of you as a teenager at all.

[norwegianne.livejournal.com]

It's quite strange really, because I don't, generally as a rule, dislike people. I keep an open mind around most people. But then there are people whom I irrationally dislike from the minute I meet them. I can never explain why, I just do. Most of them are people I've met in real life. There are a couple of people online that other people seem to find quite friendly and everything, but reading through their journals/webpages something just rubs me wrong.

Mostly I'm a very ambivalent creature, who can't be bothered to dislike people at all. But some people just rubs me the wrong way. And then it will take a lot to persuade me to change my view on that person.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

I don't dislike a lot of people either, which is why it so annoys me when I seemingly do for no apparant reason. It just happens sometime and all I can really explain it with is that "rubs me the wrong way", as you said.

Sometimes I know it's cultural differences - I am after all bred into the culture of janteloven, and not everyone online obeys that one too much.

Humans are odd people.

[avendya.livejournal.com]

Your snark is second-to-none.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Your interest in so many different things of life and science make me feel less alone.

[caribbeanblue.livejournal.com]

Because I'm terribly strange like that:

Miss Cam is awesome because she has a sense of humor about badfic (as opposed to seeing red ;-).

...and a question: CSI fandom is wanking? Where?

[misscam.livejournal.com]

YTDAW and various LJs. As I understand, it started off as being about smutfics and expanded.

You're never dull.

[ladyumbra.livejournal.com]

I like that your willing to listen to everyons opinion even if you feel opposite.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

You don't hide yourself.

[adoraheatherly.livejournal.com]

You have a sharp and open mind with an ability to commiserate on a wide range of topics.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

You have a great deal of courage and care for others still despite having walked through the abyss.

[bloodanna.livejournal.com]

You're honest about many things even if you know you're going to get trashed.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

You view life slightly tilted and don't always look for the obvious.

[sinneahtes.livejournal.com]

You're a very thoughtful person, and (as far as I can see) you're good at being both funny and serious, whenever a situation calls for one mood or the other.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Your LJ layout is gorgeous

You can strike up a conversation on just about anything and even make the weather seem interesting.

[highwindpav.livejournal.com]

They're at it again? I was hoping spoilers would molify CSIdom a bit. Yeargh.

As far as dislike...eh, online, it seems to me that the people I dislike either never recognized that tone of voice does not translate and that sarcasm must be handled with caution, or they just rubbed me the wrong way for whatever reason. Can't be friends with everyone :/

OK, likable things about Miss Cam: You have the convictions of your beliefs and are unafraid of speaking them, which I respect a great deal. Also, you're funny and know how to deliver a proper smackdown.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

I guess there wasn't enough G/S spoilers to keep everyone entertained or something. Either that, or fandom's hitten critical mass. If so, duck.

I swear there are people who think being friends with everyone is a requirement. Arg.

We're on opposite sides of quite a few issues and I still like you more than I do a lot of people I utterly agree with. You got class.

[sekhmets-temple.livejournal.com]

Hi! I know I've not been around lately. Had a self-imposed hiatus - mostly to avoid Harry Potter book six spoilers. I'm sort of back now. By sort of I mean that I am back, but starting tomorrow, I'm leaving town for about nine days so I really won't back until after then. Okay, rambling now, sorry.

I see you've mentioned the Harry Potter fandom insanity. You'll forgive me if I don't follow the link. I've decided, after what little I've exposed myself to regarding HP online, that I'm staying away. It frightens me to death. I really don't understand it all.

I couldn't really exactly pinpoint why I disliked her. I'm sure some of you know that feeling - it's a bugger, as you get annoyed with yourself for feeling as you do and really, feel like there should be some justification for the dislike.

Sometimes, you just don't click with a person and there isn't a logical reason: they've done nothing to you, they seem generally nice, nobody else speaks ill of them. And still, you can't stand the person. I've experienced a few situations where I've met someone for the first time, but something just rubbed me the wrong way and I hated them from the start even thought they never said anything or did anything to justify my reaction. I guess it boils down to chemistry and the lack of it might inspire dislike? Who really knows? Us humans are a little strange at times. ;)

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Hope you have a nice trip wherever you're going.

And yes, HP fandom is scary, but if you view it with proper amount of alcohol, also quite hilarious. Might as well laugh at it, it saves some braincells.

Us humans are a little strange at times. ;)

Word. This is what makes us so fascinating.

[darksylvia.livejournal.com]

You're the girl who everyone thinks is cool, but you're not part of the main clique. So the mean popular people let you exist and the unpopular people think you're popular.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Heh. Now that I hadn't heard before, but I certainly can't argue with it. I'm not a very clique-y person, I think. Might be my Norwegianness.

And you, my dear, lust and slash with admirable style.

[agentmaly.livejournal.com]

You're frank and honest but rarely abrasively outspoken.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

You've mastered the art of irony without getting pretensious about it.

[forceofhobbit.livejournal.com]

You're not afraid to speak your mind.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

You're going to hell with style and I will share my pitchfork with you.

[silvery-lass.livejournal.com]

You have a mean sarcastic sense of humour and a poetic flair in your writing that I have always admired.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

You're not afraid to think things over on your own and of course, you're adorably Swedish

[syncopated_time.livejournal.com]

You're sympathetic without being pitying or patronizing (at least towards me). Very rare, that.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

You're spiritual, not afraid to speak your mind or to admire the finer things in life (see: men).

[ladyiapetus]

You're an awesome writer, and you don't tolerate fools or idiots.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

You shameless love the awesome Muppets.

[meeta.livejournal.com]

How come I never notice when CSI fandom is being wanky? Hm. I love it when the CSI people get all wanky though. Especially when the Grissom/Sara people fight with the Catherine/Grissom people. Haahhaha. *claps hands* I love being a semi-multi-shipper!

[meeta.livejournal.com]

Oh, I forgot the likeable thing! You're funny! And I love funny.

[chunkylimes.livejournal.com]

Well, I'm new but...

1. You're smart. I bet MENSA would take you.
2. As others have said, the snark.
3. You can write really, really well, and
4. You aren't an insane shipper.

I have a silly question, too.
After (I think) Norway and Britain, what are your favourite countries?

[misscam.livejournal.com]

New Zealand, Australia, Brazil.

Your icons amuse me, and while you could shag Zaphod, I could do Arthur.

[aervir.livejournal.com]

Ouch, I think this Harry Potter wank just ate my brain: I'm not quite sure whether I managed to figure out what exactly is going on there, but then I'm not even sure whether I want to know...

And you're likable because you combine quirky humour and a love for fandom with a penchant for serious reflection.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Oh, I know that feeling. I was a frightening sense that if I truly understood it, I'd go mad.

Ah, my dear German cousin. (We're all Germanic, after all.) You made me lovely icons, showed me where to find P&P ones and your various discussions on English Literature alternate between amusing and educating me. Plus, you like British men in silly hats.

[saxihighlandck.livejournal.com]

You hate Fred Phelps about as much or more than city of Topeka, Kansas. :)

Well Vegas is bad, Miami's in a tizzy because of this season (back stories ahoy!) and NY is killing someone again. All the CSI fandoms can wank together.

I will never see Horatio 'The Grief Vampire' as you like to call him, the same.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

You're proof that for every Fred Phelps a place might spawn, there's always someone sensible and decent there too. And you're a very faithful reviwer - thank you-

[binx-349.livejournal.com]

Down to earth despite the fact you have full on minions. ;)

Oh, YTDAW implodes again. This is where we don our fire retardent clothing and take up observation from a safe distance.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

You're British. That's reason for love alone. And of course, you have giraffes and have snark with your tea.

[siraj.livejournal.com]

Something likeable? so many choices, but can only pick one...

Has to be the ability to write such good fic, and not having to deal with very many flamers and trolls. It's hard to find a good writer that doesn't get lambasted by one side or another when it comes to fandom.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

My token male! :P And you share my Sean Connory love and Legolas/Gimli. We'd have scary children.

[krazykat.livejournal.com]

You are likeable because you keep yourself well-informed. This means you have interesting things to say.

Also, I love how your writing has the texture of real life.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

You've got fabelous taste and many interesting scientific facts to unleash upon the world.

[aralanthiriel.livejournal.com]

HP Wank: Not that I'm complaining too loudly, since any form of HP wank usually has some spectacular stupidity in it, but dammit, why is it only the shipper wanks that ever posted? Even teh funneh gets repetitive with the same topic being beaten to death. At least the recent Cho wank was a change of pace, even if it made my faith in humanity dip into the negative numbers.

Likes & Dislikes: I personally think likes & dislikes come more from people's core personalities and how they mesh. The main thing that would lead me to dislike someone would be passive aggressiveness. I prefer to be blunt and honest, and I tend to choose my friends such that they know not to take my comments personally if they're negative. If I do something stupid, I'd like to be called on it. If my friends do something stupid, I'll gladly point and laugh at them. If they want something, they should just say so instead of hoping I'll notice that they're suddenly typing differently or something. But if they just dance around a topic, dropping vague and annoying hints without ever being upfront about it, and then becoming upset when I don't notice? That doesn't make me happy.

But if you think about it, a lot of people will see no problems with people like that and consider my approaches untactful. So, it's a compatibility problem in how we prefer to interact. Not sure what exactly could be setting you off in your situation, but it might just be a minor trait or how they act that's just grating against your nerves and getting worse?

Meme: Ah, finally, something more positive. I like your honesty and your sense of humour. I like to think that if I ever did something tremendously stupid, you'd not only call me on it but make me laugh while pointing out what I just did. And even though I can't quite get myself into the CSI fandom at the moment, I do enjoy your writing and especially the rhythm of your prose. I'm usually pretty picky about that and it's always nice to read something that just flows very nicely.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

I guess shipper wanks are the most spectacular wanks about. CSI has them too, in a smaller scale. What is it about pairings that bring out the batshit insane in people? The Tinhats are classic, too.

Personalities probably play in, but it's not everything online, I think, since personalities don't always come as clearly across, at least not right away. And once I've formed a dislike, it takes me quite a lot of effort to give up on it. Stubbornness, I guess.

I know there are definite things that do grate on me, but I'm not sure I could identify them. Might have to do studies.

Ah, my old friend. (Well, relatively.) I'm so glad you've come back. You still lust them men of Gondor, knows your LotR without being an utter pretensious git, write interesting fanfic and have a curious mind.

[melliyna.livejournal.com]

Very, very new but I like the fact that you are open minded and respectful of peoples beliefs. Also - you write wonderfully well about a lot of things.

My question then is - could you pick one thing that sums up why you adore your birth country so much?

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Geez, that's a hard one. I don't know, it's a part of me. The soil of it and the blood of me are the same. It is quiet and wild and mostly good. I know it to the marrow of my bones.

Well, I don't know you too well yet, but you're Aussie, have read the BItterbynde, fancy very good males and express your opinions sensibly and well. All good things.