Cam Finally Pokes Doctor Who Badfic

[misscam]

From a badfic near you (run away!):

“Theta, it OK.” She murmured softly, stroking his hair.
“No, it not OK.” He lifted his head and she could see just how many tears had fallen. “It shouldn’t have been like this, a fast shag in an alleyway. I wanted more from our first time. I wanted to hold you, love you, I wanted you to feel romance, special, not to have a good hard fuck in this dirty ally.”

Dear Doctor Who fanfic writer,

now, granted, I am new to Who Canon as well, but from what I've been able to dig up, Theta is a nickname the Doctor was given once (in University?), but he prefers to be called the Doctor. From what I gather, he doesn't much like this nickname. Why the heck would he have Rose call him Theta? Think about that. Furthermore, it is not 'OK' to have post-coital cavemen talk. Even if the Doctor has been shagged silly, he would still remember his verbs. And crying after or during shagging - the guy shed one tear at the memory of his entire planet and race going bye-bye. Why is he suddenly the Sob of Gallifrey? Think reeeeeeal hard now.

Also, I haveth GAFFed you.

Meme snagged.
1. My username is ____ because ____.
2. My journal is titled ____ because ____.
3. My subtitle is ____ because ____.
4. My friends page is called ____ because ____.
5. My default userpic is ____ because ____.

1. I'm Miss Cam - well, Cam is short for Camilla, which is my name. The Miss clears up any gender confusion and adds a vaguely authoritarian teacher sound to it, which was what I wanted for OFUM. It's just stuck since.
2. "Cam's Corner of the World" because that's what it is. My simple little corner where I do what I like.
3. "Musings of a Shameless Amused Hussy" as someone once called me "shameless amused hussy" and I was amused. And I do like to muse.
4. "Cam's Corner of the World-Friends" because I ran out of imagination that particular day.
5. Right now, Christmas-y TARDIS. Because it is the season.

Comments

[kerlin.livejournal.com]

I would also add, since when is a "good hard fuck in this dirty alley" a bad thing?

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Since it didn't have rose petals and candlelight and all that mush or something? Gah.

Me, I tend to think execution matters more than location.

[kerlin.livejournal.com]

Oh, God, now I'm waiting for the fic in which the author actually uses rose petals and beats us over the head with "and it's her NAME, too, so that makes it EXTRA romantic!"

"Good" was specified, so I really can't quite figure out what either of them is complaining about.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

And on that day, I shall be ready to point and laugh at it. Cos... No.

That they're stuck in some teenage fantasy, probably.

[greyladybast.livejournal.com]

Hey, there's nuthin' wrong with the teenaged Doctor fantasies. Hell, I've been having 'em since before I was a teenager (yes, my first kiddie-crushes were all Doctor Who based) and they're much fun. Just, fercryinoutloud, Who-canon is so bloody malleable and easy to mess with, with plenty of room for nearly anything, is it really so much to ask to sprinkle a bit of the non-negotiables in if you're gonna offer up the teen fantasies for the rest of the world to see?

Basically, if you're gonna try to show off your esoteric Whoverse knowledge in a teen Doctor fantasy, bloody well get it right!!!!!

Thus endeth Bast's Rant.

[knorg.livejournal.com]

That's a very good question indeed.

[greyladybast.livejournal.com]

My eyes, they burn!!

I'm NOT new to the Whoverse, and yes, the Doctor pretty much hates to be called Theta, Theta Sigma, or any variation thereof. He tells Drax off repeatedly for calling him that, in, I think, "Creature from the Pit."

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Ah, goodoh. I was right. Go me.

*offers bleach*

[greyladybast.livejournal.com]

Go, you.

Except, I was wrong. Drax and the Theta Sigma thing are in The Armeggeddon Factor, which is the last of the Key to Time series and the first appearance of Lalla Ward, who winds up playing Romana II* the next season, and not in Creature from the Pit as I originally thought.

(Creature from the Pit is the one with the giant Penis Monster.)

Why yes, I am a massive Who geek. How kind of you to notice.

Bast

*Personally, I have long held a suspicion that Romana II was one of the companions the Doctor "danced" with.....

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Gee, I noticed that about the first time you glomped me about the new series :P

Humhum. Kinky.

[larakailyn.livejournal.com]

Oh ughhhhhhh. *shudder*

That was quite bad. And yeah, I definitely don't think the Doctor would want anyone - especially Rose - calling him Theta.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

I suspect it would put him right out of the mood, quite frankly. Rose would have to work very hard to get him back in it.

[greyladybast.livejournal.com]

Yeah, especially when you factor in that the last guy to call him Theta was a short, bald, old school mate. I'm sure that mental image doesn't do the libido any favors.

[evilstorm.livejournal.com]

Not actually having watched any of the eps, the word 'theta' merely sets pictures of angles dancing off in my head. Quite eerie. It doesn't help that I'm doing maths at 2.20 a.m.

[lotus79.livejournal.com]

You should see what his name looks like in Gallifreyan... (No I haven't been researching obscure canon. Not at all.)

(d³ Σ x² is his Gallifreyan name according to the site I was reading.)

[greyladybast.livejournal.com]

And it's got thirty-seven syllables, too.

Nah, I haven't been researching obscure canon, either. Not me.

[evilstorm.livejournal.com]

D-cubed sigma x squared? Nah, doesn't work. Hm, wonder how it goes.

[greyladybast.livejournal.com]

Well, obviously it's not spelled phonetically. But according to Outpost Gallifrey, the Doctor's name has thirty-eight syllables. I was off by one.

The bit you want is about half-way down the page, in a grey box.

[fondued-jicama.livejournal.com]

That page says he has grandchildren. oO

[git-the-goddess.livejournal.com]

Well, he's been around for 900 years, and there was Susan.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

The first Doctor travelled with Susan, a young girl that called him grandfather.

[greyladybast.livejournal.com]

He does have grandchildren. Christ, the Doctor's very first companion, the one who introduced us all to this wonderful nuttiness, was his granddaughter, Susan.

And that's screen canon, which is THE canon 'round which all other canons that want to count must fit themselves.

They even give it a nod in the new series. Didn't you wonder why, in "The Empty Child," when Dr. Constantine comments that when the war started, he was a father and a grandfather, and now he is neither, but he's still a doctor, and the Doctor very sadly says, "Know the feeling." You didn't wonder what that was all about? It never occured to you to wonder how the Doctor would know how it feels to no longer be a father or a grandfather? Did you miss the whole conversation with Rose in "Father's Day" about the Doctor wanting to go back and save his family, but not being able to?

Yeah, the Doctor dances, and he had at least one granddaughter. Both are screen canon, both are therefore Word of Law.

Trust me. Whoverse was my first True Fandom Love, so I know my shit, as a rule. I'm not as up as I could be on the books and the audio plays, but I am familiar with everything broadcast on TV.

[boz4pm.livejournal.com]

Okay, maybe it's just me but the phrases 'good hard fuck' and 'fast shag' seem oh so very un-Doctor-ish that it hurts.

and she could see just how many tears had fallen
*eyebrow* Could she, now? What, each individual one? Count them, did she? Does he cry glass teardrops, then? *blinks* *growls at the badfic*

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Yes. I could see him use shag in a few situations, maybe, but... Hum.

Maybe he cried special Gallifreyan crystal tears.

[fondued-jicama.livejournal.com]

Badfic is so funny. XD

N00bs.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Badfic is ever the fountain of hillarity.

[wildecate.livejournal.com]

Grins sheepishly. I've actually done that as well and had Rose call the Doctor "Theta" but I tried to be a bit more circumspect about it. I've gone a bit backward in my Dr Who ness. When I first started writing I found it very hard to "ship" the Doctor and Rose. I just couldn't comprehend how they could be together in that sense. However, months of fanfic later and some indulgences on my part I've written 4 or 5 fics which involve smut but frankly, having started re-watching it on telly, I'm going back to my original stance of not really into the smut aspect of the shippiness.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I can see that. I admit I enjoy some smutty indulgences, but the beauty of their relationship is that you don't need sex or romance for it to still be something quite lovely and intriguing.

I just add that aspect because I'm such a naughty Scandinavian, I guess.

[greyladybast.livejournal.com]

Personally, I've no problem at all with Doctor shippiness, so long as it's done in a manner that fits into the character. For example, I can so totally see the Fourth Doctor shipping out like crazy with Romana II, but not, say, Leela or Sarah Jane. (if Sarah Jane got any dancing Doctor, it was firmly the 3rd, IMO, and even then, I'd still buy a Jo-fling before I'd buy a Sarah-fling)

And the 6th Doctor (or 5th, for that matter) may have had a "thing" for Peri, but anybody who claims the 7th "danced" with Ace gets a slap with one of Cam's lutefisk.

Doctor-shipping is a tricky thing, really, and rather harder to pull off than most people give credit for. And I can't ever buy, nor ever will buy, Doctor-shipping (with any companion, but especially with Rose) as "down and dirty." About the farthest my brain'll stretch for 'ship cliche's is your basic hurt/comfort, and that's really got to be the right Doctor, in the right situation, with the right companion or OC. A Fourth Doctor h/c? First? Sixth? Ain't gonna happen. Not nohow, not noway. But a Third, especially if it's Jo? That, I'll buy, but only if the price is right. And the Fifth positively oozes h/c out of every pore.

Anyway, my point is that, while I've never, ever bought into the whole "The Doctor is asexual" fanon, I also don't see him falling madly into bed with every pretty chick who enters the TARDIS. Hell, I'd say Doctor-shipping is probably one of the hardest fanfics to write. It's right up there with believable LOTR slash, or workable self-insert. Christ, Whoverse self-insert has gotta be the easiest thing in the world, since the 'verse is postively designed that way. Half the bleeding companions wound up that way more-or-less accidentally!

Anyway, the Doctor "dances," certainly, but I don't think either the right music or the right partners turn up all that frequently.

[wildecate.livejournal.com]

I had real problems shipping and smutting 9/Rose mainly because of Rose's age and the Doctor's experience The first time round I had actually aged Rose by about 10 years so it wouldn't feel quite so odd. That said I have done it several times since then but it doesn't feel entirely right. I would blow my own trumpet and say I've written some good smut and although yes it involves 9 and Rose and Jack occasionally, I wouldn't say it's good 9/Rose/Jack smut - do you see what I mean?

For me the question is "why did the Doctor ask Rose to come with him?" I genuinely don't think it was because of her porcelain skin, chocolate brown eyes and dazzling smile. I think he was lonely, I believe he becomes quite selfish about having her as his companion but not to the point where he wants to shag her. When Jack comes into the equation I think Rose realises "dancing" is a possibility but I'm sure she believes that he doesn't see her that way and I don't think it occurs to him. I don't think he brought her along as a "dancing" companion.

I'm definitely moving back to my old stance. And I have to say 5th was always my favourite anyway.

[greyladybast.livejournal.com]

I agree with pretty much everything you said, but I'd like to also point out the sheer, intense need in The Kiss from POTW, and the equally as intense disappointment in the Doctor when he realized Rose didn't remember it, and now he'll never get to do it again. That, on its own, more than anything else, leads me to believe Nine and Rose never, ever did get it on.

And they positively canNOT have "danced" before TDD, as the question is asked in nearly every episode prior to that, and always answered negatively.

Besides, it's a near-miss is so much more poignant than actual 'shippiness.

(But I still believe the Fourth Doctor and Romana II were an actual couple. It's the body language...

[wildecate.livejournal.com]

Yep I agree. I thik the Doctor realising what he had to do to save Rose decided "if i'm going to go it's going to be kissing you" or perhaps it genuinely was the only way that he could have drawn the Vortex from her.

Haven't seen much of the series before 5th. I have seen a lot of people who are of the opinion "oh he died to save her he must have loved her" but I'm pretty sure 5th did the same for Peri (god knows why she drove me nuts!) in his last epi? Gave her the antidote leaving none for himself but then again, he knew he would regenerate.

[greyladybast.livejournal.com]

Yeah, Five did let himself die to save Peri. Furthermore, he wasn't really sure he would regenerate. Spectrox toxemia (yeah, flashing my geek creds again, can't help it) was something he had no experience with whatsoever, nor had he regenerated via poison before, so Five gave Peri the antidote thinking he could very well die for good. I'm sure he was hoping he'd regenerate, but if you watch the scene at the end of "Caves of Androzani," you'll see how near a thing it was.

Nine, at least, seemed much more certain that he'd survive the vortex, though that just could have been the fact that is was his TARDIS, and he trusted her (the TARDIS, that is) not to let him die.

[boz4pm.livejournal.com]

Hell, I'd say Doctor-shipping is probably one of the hardest fanfics to write. It's right up there with believable LOTR slash, or workable self-insert.
I couldn't agree more.

Each Doctor is 'unique' and very different in terms of character and personality - though all 'akin' in some ways also. Therefore any potential 'ship' has to reflect that.

It's like any piece of writing, let alone fic: if you can justify it, make it believable and write from a position of really knowing what you are talking about (in terms of canon, character, avoiding plotholes, etc) then you could, concievably, write almost anything. It's making it work that's the hard bit.

I too have a hard time with Doctor/Rose smut, but as much because, like GLB, I find it hard to think of the Doctor in those terms. I even found the whole Doctor/Rose romance in the TV series a bit odd at first, but only because I'd never seen that before - it may have been there in the Who stuff I saw when I was young, but... I was young and wouldn't have picked up on it.

[roguem.livejournal.com]

it is not 'OK' to have post-coital cavemen talk
Not having much of a clue about Dr.Who I don't have much to say here, but it did seem a bit 'caveman' to me too.