How would Cam's LJ be prefaced if it was a fanfic?

Title: LiveJournal O'Cam (A Saga of Lust, Laments, Life and Levity)

Summary: Can Cam stop ogling hot males long enough to plot her world take-over? Will Bush and Babydoll ever strike back at the villainous Norwegian? Will there be sex-ever-after for Cam's OTPs? Can Cam's Inner Bitch ever outfox her Inner Saint? Will Fred Phelps get his well-earned pitchfork up the bum from Cam? Will Norway ever not be mostly dull? What is the meaning of life? Don't expect your answers here, suckers. Here be rants, raves, ogling, pointlessness, mocking and the occasional serious discussion. Here Resides the Cam.

Genre: Humour, Drama, MST, Fantasy, Editorial, Link-athon, Meme-athon, Fluff, Romance (for others), Mayhem

Pairings: Cam/hot men, Bush/trout, Quality/fanfic, Norway/love, mock/stupid, Faramir/Eowyn, Catherine/Warrick, Grissom/Sara, orgies

Rating: R (naughty thoughts and Viking rampages)

Warnings:
Character deaths (wishful thinking)
Adult themes, Adult Spelling
NoPreg
Kink (Spank me, baby)
AU (The world is mine)
TroutTorturing
Sports
Norwegianness

Disclaimer: All words within belong to Cam, apart from the bits that obviously doesn't. You're smart, you can figure it out for yourself.

Author's notes: Plz R+R! Comment and be merry. Open LJ, friend away, comment away, have wild orgies in the sauna.

WOOHOO!

EUROSONG!

If you're one of those poor, deprived unable-to-watch people (Americans, I am looking at you too), you can watch it on the web here (BBC). Join us in the mocking, the cheesiness, the general horribleness of costumes and the European bonding ceremony known as Eurovision Song Contest from 9 p.m. CET. (Which is roughly ten minutes from now, as I post this.)

Bring alcohol.

(I don't even have an Eurosong icon. Ah well.)