Miss Cam eyes the pretty, pretty men

[misscam]

I have seen Troy.

To sum up:

There were many pretty, pretty men. Staying true to the story, not so much. But see the pretty men! *eyes the pretty men*

Achilles and Briseis left me rather stone cold, but I felt decidedly warmer about the Trojans. Overall, it was enjoyable and I will probably buy it on DVD when it comes out, but it was not a work of art by any stretch. But pretty men. Pretty, pretty men.

No, I am not going to write Illiad slash. Stop looking at me like that! Funny how attractive doomed and angsty love is, though. Be it Helen and Paris or Romeo and Juliet. (Or Legolas and Gimli as written by mean, mean Cam, for that matter.) We certainly love to watch (or read about) people be miserably in love.

Or perhaps it's the "miserable" part we're really attracted to.

Speaking of miserable... Quote me the most unintentionally amusing badfic line you've come across! For example, I might quote this:
When we got to the Long Table Elrond, Galadriel and the rest of the table stood up to welcome me, a new Elf, into their midst. "Lady Beth" Galadriel said as she pulled me into an embrace "it is so good to see you up"
(The story was called 'To Be With U', BTW) I'm making a collection. I have a few that is a lot worse, but they're not PG rated, to put it that way.

Comments

[acaciaonnastik.livejournal.com]

The most unintentionally funny line ever was from a fic the title of which I forget, but it was a horrible Arwen/Legolas complete with evil!Aragorn..

"He wanted me to give up my immorality for him. I said no."

[misscam.livejournal.com]

*sniggers* I actually read "immortality" the first time around. Obviously what it was meant to be, but "immorality" does add a new level to that sentence.

[dawning-star.livejournal.com]

"Long Table Elrond"? That brings to mind images I did not need.

If it weren't for angst, would we have anything to look forward to from you? ;)

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Cheerful fluff?

[undeadgoat.livejournal.com]

*wants to see pretty pretty men* My mom might take me . . . stoopid MPAA, deciding I can't see it without parents unless a blind cashier mistakes me for 18 . . .

[misscam.livejournal.com]

You have to be 18 to see it? *blinks* Wow, in Norway you had to be 15. It wasn't that violent.

[slickmeister.livejournal.com]

*thinks* The quote would definately have to be "I eat death like nobody's business"

Draco Malfoy...although I can't remember from where. The reason it popped into my head is because I have a tendancy to yell that aloud at the strangest times. :D

[visp.livejournal.com]

Hehe, I remember that one.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Yay, Necrophiliac!Draco!

[musemistress.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry...your icon just had me giggling for so long I had to scroll down to stop. Then I couldn't get it out of my head. That face...it makes me freaken LAUGH!! *runs off in horror*

[visp.livejournal.com]

While the romance between Briseis and Achilles wasn't really making me melt, the fact that it gave an opportunity for Naked Brad Pitt won it MAJOR brownie points. Honestly, I think the basic idea behind that movie was "Okay, we're going to have to throw a hell of a lot of hot manflesh out there to stun the audience into not bashing us for our utterly warping the book". Have to say it worked rather well in that regard.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

We are weak. So very weak.

But still, I am most miffed they had Agamemnon die at Troy. That's not how he died!

[belegcuthalion.livejournal.com]

When we got to the Long Table Elrond...

Ah - that's where it came from? *snickers*

No, I am not going to write Illiad slash.

Thank you. Homer suffered enough, I think.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Yep, that's the original of Long Table Elrond. It was a horrid, horrid table of Beth (who was 16) and with Legolas, who had knocked her up. She was then offered to be "made" an Elf by Galadriel, only then her baby would die (during the "procedure"). Much, much wangsting ensues, including Gandalf "popping" (yes, the story had him literally pop into other worlds) her friend to come visit and her mum, who then tells her daughter she's a nasty slut. More wangsting before Beth was then made an Elf and she and Legolas set off for Mirkwood.

[pipibluestockin]

You seem to have a shortage of pretty blokes on your friends list. So I shall have to do duty for 'em.

*pretty men blush and shuffle nervously*

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Alas, it's hard to know who truly are pretty men online. They must all be hiding.

Perhaps a hunting party is in order...

[nonnychan.livejournal.com]

Well, I've read a lot fo badfic in my time (tolerant for pain I suppose) but my all-time favorite line would have to be from an old Sailormoon fanfic called "Dimision Troubles". Yes, that's really the name of the fic! It's written in script form, and the line is this:

Sarah: It who you nutcake of bad energy getting kind from good humans.

[slickmeister.livejournal.com]

GEH! Sounds like the YYH Hong Kong subs!

[musemistress.livejournal.com]

*squints* I'm still trying to figure out what she is trying to say

[misscam.livejournal.com]

It's amazing how little sense that sentence makes.

[musemistress.livejournal.com]

Cam...I have searched the internet far and wide for a fic quote that would suit this purpose...but came across something far more evil.

Summary: Saurmon torments Idril because of a love that her wants but she is with Lord Elrond. He comes back and destroys their lives. Larien is Idril and Lord Elrond’s daughter, what will happen when she goes to the future to get away from Saurmon? What will happen to Legolas and his love for her? Sequel to the story Love Everlasting.

Plainly...I was too horrified to read on.


~Vana E the Sadist~

[misscam.livejournal.com]

What the...? Elrond married his *grandmother*?

And Sauron and Saruman seems to have merged into "Saurmon" (that must have hurt) and all the Elves have been replaced by silly teenagers. The Sue is a "groovy lady" and Legolas a "smooth talker". Oh, and made up Elvish and bad grammar to boot. It burnssssss.

[erhothwen.livejournal.com]

Eeep, everyone has seen Troy except for me! That, and Shrek 2! (Was rather amused to see Shrek 2 stomp Troy in the box office first week out. I actually heard it was quite good, despite additional fart jokes)

Actually, we all know pretty man Achilles should be in hot gay googly eyes over pretty man Patroclus...but I suppose Hollywood would rather see Brad Pitt making googly eyes with a slave girl.

*suddenly thinks of random Paris/Achilles pairing*

Woah, that random though. No no, bad me. Bad bad me.

[(Anonymous)]

Haven't seen Troy or Shrek 2, but hopefully that will change soon.

So I'm not the only one who think Achilles should be doing naughty things with his swords buddy! Cool!

Thankfully I haven't read the Illiad - just for the record I tried - so valations of canon will probably pass me by unless there are things that are really wrong.

*my cat is eyeing my water glass*

*grumble and mumble*

[(Anonymous)]

haven't seen troy. don't wanna. except to randomly shout things like 'GO LEGOLAS!' or 'i think he's getting angry' or 'what's lawrence of arabia doing in troy??' i'm hoping to ruin somebody's enjoyment of the film. yes, i'm bitter. i've heard about the misplaced death of agammemnon (imagine clytemnestra, approaching the bathtub 'psycho' style with her butcher knife... now which part of that wouldn't make a great scene?). oh, and paris lives, does he? i was hoping to hear shell-shocked and crying fangirls muttering 'but... what if he came back... was brought to life by some god or..."

i cannot give you a badfic line, so i'll give you a very very GOODfic line that i think you'll enjoy:

"I can't be late without a snide remark on how I've tarried!
And every ruddy relative asks when I'm getting married!"
The dwarf raised up a hobnailed boot and stamped upon the ground.
(The hobbits living nearby thought their roof was falling down.)

find the rest at http://www.gwaddiction.com/izumi/ond/lgsong.htm. trust me, you'll love it.

Re: *grumble and mumble*

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Heh, it's quite funny. Alas, we of naughty minds cannot help ourselves.

I don't know The Illiad that well, but there is quite a lot of changes about, yes.

(Spoilers a'hoy! Flee now, if you do not wish to know!)

The war seems to last all of three weeks or so, Helen and Paris both live (one assumes, as they're last seen fleeing burning Troy), the gods take no real active part and indeed, Agamemnon gets snuffed by Briseis. As if. And the slaughter has been toned down quite a bit. Homer would probably tear his hair out - unless he too enjoys the pretty men, of course.

Two things.

[cloudofcalm.livejournal.com]

One, I hate Troy. I'm a classicist, having studied Latin, Greek, literature - Homer, a'twirling in his grave - and art, and read pretty much every translation of the classics. So yeah. I'm going to yell, 'where's Patrocles?' 'Cassandra had visions, you *idiots*' and 'Priam. Let's beat him to death with his grandson *now*, please'.

Two, I have the *worst* line of badfic, ever. I sigged it at GAFF. Prepare yourself, this hits two major fandoms. Star Wars... and LOTR. Yes. I have Jar Jar and Gollum slash.

This part was different, warm and slimy while the rest of Gollum was cold and slimy. Every different way that Jar Jar moved his tongue over it made Gollum moan some more, and arch and twist to get closer to him, until he yelled

Yeah. I win, methinks.

Re: Two things.

[(Anonymous)]

oh, god. *vomits*

i alternately applaud and hate you for exposing that... that... *vomits again*

kill me now. you win, you definately win.

WELL! now that that's all done with, i have a question - did you study ancient greek the language, or just ancient greek literature in translations? see, i'm debating learning the language myself... but my parents hated studying it in high school ('twas mandatory and awful) and almost nobody outside of greece pronounces it right... your thoughts?

[(Anonymous)]

Its from a bad fic that me and my friend MSTed and its from a HP fic that aside from just being bad has male pregnancy.

“I thought you'd go mad with me," Harry mumbled, avoiding Sirius' eyes.