Cam's Open Letters to Various Teams

[misscam]

Dear French football team,

What in the Niflheim was *that*? You lost to Greece? To *Greece*, who has been in the European football championship a grand total of two times? You, the defending champions? And what was with the pathetic attempt to score an equalizer in the last ten minutes? No intensity, no last minute storming of all available men, no desperate last stand. You just gave up! For shame!

Not so much love,
Cam

*****

Dear Greek football team,

Much love and praise to my favourite underdogs. But please, please don't make the Greeks celebrate so much they forget to build on their Olympic stadium. We still want the Olympics in August.

Love,
Cam

P.S Your goalkeeper is kinda hot.

*****

Dear English football team,

Don't whine. 'Tis very unattractive. You just weren't good enough. It happens. Better luck next time - perhaps if you don't assume you will win it every time you might not tense up so much? Just a friendly advice.

Kudos on your fans behaving this time around.

Comforting pats on the back,
Cam

P.S Get Beckham off the penalty-kicking, already.

*****

Dear Portugese football team,

Yes, you won. Hurrah for you. But you use longer time to score than I do to get up in the weekends. For the love of Odin, stop being too fancy and instead try to hit the bloody goal. It's that square thing guarded by a guy in gloves. Also, Figo, stop sulking like a spoiled Malfoy. So you got substituted in two games. Big whopping deal. You weren't that great, you know. And your substitute actually scored.

Slight love but some annoyance,
Cam

*****

Dear Danish and Swedish team,

please, *please* win your upcoming matches.

Many wishes and offers of ritual sacrifices in your honour,
Cam

*****

Dear Bush team,

Boo!

No love whatsoever,
Cam

Comments

[belegcuthalion.livejournal.com]

Dear German Team!

...! Oh you ...! I knew it... I knew it... but what a shame to be right in this particular case.

*sobs*

Mona

[misscam.livejournal.com]

*offer comfort kindereggs*

Better luck next time - home field and all. I'm sure Germany will do better then.

England's open letter to Miss Cam

[the-factionlair.livejournal.com]

Dear Miss Cam

The referee was obviously at fault, we demand a rematch! Also, David Beckham has no right to be captain anymore

Non-whiny with well behaved fans country
England

And with that out of the way, let me just say that the 2 comments within that are solely based on my families opinion and not mine as I watched less than 30 seconds of the football...

Re: England's open letter to Miss Cam

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Dear English team,

obviously you're blind as well as unable to kick penalties. I saw the rerun of that annulled goal and one of you lot were clearly hooking the goalkeeper's one arm, thus keeping him from potentially saving that header. The pictures do now lie. Now stop whining and toss Pepsi cans on Beckham instead if you want to complain about the result.

Offers of Pepsi cans to toss,
Cam

:P:P

Re: England's open letter to Miss Cam

[the-factionlair.livejournal.com]

Fair enough.

To be frank I'd forgotten about it. Still, thanks for the Pepsi cans.

*Calls in a bomber strike on David Beckhams house using said cans*

Don't ask me how I ordered a bomber strike as I don't know...

[irian.livejournal.com]

Hehe. Love your commentary, even though I don't really watch football. Sadly, basketball has been and always will be the biggest specatator sport in my country.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

You don't know what you're missing... Or perhaps you do. Basketball can be fun to watch, but it doesn't have the mad tackles and attempts to pretend to be hurt to get a penalty that football gas.

[irian.livejournal.com]

it doesn't have the mad tackles and attempts to pretend to be hurt to get a penalty that football gas.

Hehe. Can't be worse than American football though. I think that the Philippines and the US (and its territories) are about the only placed in the world that call football "soccer".

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Pretty much. Australia a bit as well, as they have their own 'football'.

But none can beat the original!

[shadowbyrd.livejournal.com]

I don't really follow sport, but even I felt slight disappointment that we lost.

All the same I have to wonder at my country's obssession with football. I mean our cricket team loses to someone and no one cares!

Our football team loses and what's the main item on channel three's news? They've had an ex-referee disecting the match *from every angle* and he has concluded that the disallowed goal should have counted.

WE LOST! GET OVER IT! WHINING CHANGES NOTHING!

p.s.According to Mr. President of the USA the french have no word for entrepreneur. How sad for them.

Delurking...

[lupiane.livejournal.com]

I wanted to post a coment today anyway, but I was expecting to gloat over the French team's victory... I can't believe we lost to the Greeks!! Sob! Time for a change in the team obviously, our 1998 World Champions/ 2000 European champions can no longer keep up. I too say: For Shame!
Oh well, at least it wasn't as horrible as the 2002 World Cup...

As for the Shrub's shrewd comment, what language does he think entrepreneur is in? Duh.

Re: Delurking...

[huinesoron.livejournal.com]

I'm sure he thinks he invented it all by his lonesome.

[Wanders off to take bets on how long before His Lordship claims to be the founder of the United States]

Re: Delurking...

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Indeed. The French team was pitiful. Not that Greece was bad by any strecth - they did beat Portugal and played 1-1 with Spain- but the French team looked like they were all about to retire and didn't want to hurt their fragile bones. Pfft.

Shrewd Shrub. Hee.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

It's because England likes to think of itself as the birthplace of football. Also, England don't suck as badly in football as it does in certain other sports - such as cricket.

*tosses a football at the Shrub*

[(Anonymous)]

The shrubbery was most likely "misunderestimating" the English language AGAIN! How long will it be untill he starts a speach "My fellow Armenians!"?

Aakplth!

[luhtarian.livejournal.com]

*scrubs orange juice off monitor*

[misscam.livejournal.com]

*cracks up*

"God Bless Armenia!"

[blue-moon-ice.livejournal.com]

That was nice. I really did like those letters. I wish I had gotten to see more of the games... Damn tour group time...

[misscam.livejournal.com]

*pats* There'll be another championship in two years (World Cup! Whee!). But no fun missing all the drama and mad fans ranting about evil refs...

[erhothwen.livejournal.com]

Your letters have brightened my day. :)

Liked this:
P.S Your goalkeeper is kinda hot.

I think the reason Beckham is...lagging...lately is because with all the publicity he gets just for posing for the cameras as "Posh Spice's Metrosexual Football Husband with Better Hair" (*cough*ahem*cough**cough*), he's lost his head some. I mean, he can really only concentrate on one thing: football or media coverage. And science has proven the men are lacking when it comes to multi-tasking, so it's obvious he's concentrating on both at the same time. Tsk, tsk, Mr. Beckham; I like you better as a football player, not a face plastered in a magazine.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

The Greek goalkeeper is kinda hot! He's got some silver in his hair and for some reason I find that attractive. Go figure.

Beckham hasn't been all that great since his very publiciced move to Real Madrid, so perhaps you're onto something with your theory. Seriously, the dude look bored while playing. With how much he gets paid, he could at least look *interested*. And not miss his penalties. You don't look down when you shoot, smartarse!

[talestra.livejournal.com]

Oh YES, France lost!!1!. *dances*
Sorry, but I kinda can't stand France (personal reasons). And beside, Greeks are somewhat our neighbors and I feel certain affinity for them. My dad and I had celebration that night. Although I find ironic that Greeks managed to lose to Russian team, the one that lost to everyone else. Well, football never was our strongest sport.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Well, I like France,but they still deserved to lose. They played *pathetically* bad. And Greece was the underdog, so how can one not love them?

But if they get to the final, I fear the Olympics will have to be postponed for the mad, mad Greek celebrations.

And Russia winning isn't that odd - Bulgaria nearly beat Italy even though they were already out as well. There's something about no expectations that can make previously not so good teams play at their best.

[musemistress.livejournal.com]

Uhh *cough* Holland won.

*mumble* Uhm...I am really really happy about that...but...uhm...you won't be so...yeah.

Let me be patriotic for a moment...


GO NETHERLANDS!!!!!!! WEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!


Ok, you can disembowl me now.


~Vana E~

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah! Go Nederland! Van der Sar really is the hero of the day.

Wooooot!

I feel sorry for Sweden though. They deserved to win too. We just got really really lucky a couple of times (Cocu standing on the right spot at the right moment for example) And it's dumb luck in the first place that we made it this far.

But still...

YAY! We won!

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Both teams were pretty much evenly matched, so I don't think it would have been unfair if either had won. But this time it was Holland's turn and I can't say I'm terribly heartbroken over that.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

'Tis okay. I was sad Sweden was out and all, but the Netherlands did play slightly better. It was a very even match all in all. And since the poor Dutch team has in the previous three European championships been tossed out on losing the penalties shout-out, it wasn't all undeserved that they finally won one. So all in all, sad that Sweden went out, but they fought well and a good teams goes through. That's football.

[(Anonymous)]

Therapy

1. Open a new file in your PC
2. Name it "George W. Bush"
3. Send it to the trash
4. Empty the trash
5. Your PC will ask you: "Do you really want to get rid of George W. Bush?"
6. Answer calmly "Yes" and press the mouse button firmly.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Hee!

I will have to try that at some point.

europeans understand....

[(Anonymous)]

about your worry that the greeks will be partying so crazily they'll forget about the olympics...

too late! there was an SNL skit in which two greek men listed 'stadium building' as one of the events. so true, so true. they are so waaaay behind, it's not even funny. i love the mother land, but for god's sake! i can imagine the everyday occurence of-

"Hey, Yiannis! Let's go for a café, eh?"
"Don't you have to finish the stadium, Nikos?"
"Ne, ne, we have a month left, we'll finish it in time. Besides, I need a break. They've been working me, what, 3 or 4 hours a day."
"Baaaa, that's a shame. C'mon, I'll buy the drink for you."

the laziest people on earth. but i love 'em.

Re: europeans understand....

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Snigger.

Poor Greeks, the butt of all Olympic jokes to come. Of course, hard not to be when you have events like people almost drowning at the new rowing stadium. Ah, classic...

I know it's late, but...

[(Anonymous)]

I'm French, and I totally agree with Miss Cam. The team disappointed every fan in France - ok, maybe not *every* fan - and I do hope that they'll do something before French football becomes a happy turn-of-the-century memory. After all, we did win a couple of times (in World Cup and Euro) so there *is* potential... But as much as I love some of the players, I wish they'd pick up younger players.

Here's to young blood and possible future victories!! :)

On the other hand, kudos to Greece. I feel less bad about my team being beaten - flattened!! - by the Champs of Europe :o)

Love,
Belphegor :o]