Cam's Open Letters to Various Teams

[misscam]

Dear French football team,

What in the Niflheim was *that*? You lost to Greece? To *Greece*, who has been in the European football championship a grand total of two times? You, the defending champions? And what was with the pathetic attempt to score an equalizer in the last ten minutes? No intensity, no last minute storming of all available men, no desperate last stand. You just gave up! For shame!

Not so much love,
Cam

*****

Dear Greek football team,

Much love and praise to my favourite underdogs. But please, please don't make the Greeks celebrate so much they forget to build on their Olympic stadium. We still want the Olympics in August.

Love,
Cam

P.S Your goalkeeper is kinda hot.

*****

Dear English football team,

Don't whine. 'Tis very unattractive. You just weren't good enough. It happens. Better luck next time - perhaps if you don't assume you will win it every time you might not tense up so much? Just a friendly advice.

Kudos on your fans behaving this time around.

Comforting pats on the back,
Cam

P.S Get Beckham off the penalty-kicking, already.

*****

Dear Portugese football team,

Yes, you won. Hurrah for you. But you use longer time to score than I do to get up in the weekends. For the love of Odin, stop being too fancy and instead try to hit the bloody goal. It's that square thing guarded by a guy in gloves. Also, Figo, stop sulking like a spoiled Malfoy. So you got substituted in two games. Big whopping deal. You weren't that great, you know. And your substitute actually scored.

Slight love but some annoyance,
Cam

*****

Dear Danish and Swedish team,

please, *please* win your upcoming matches.

Many wishes and offers of ritual sacrifices in your honour,
Cam

*****

Dear Bush team,

Boo!

No love whatsoever,
Cam

Comments

[shadowbyrd.livejournal.com]

I don't really follow sport, but even I felt slight disappointment that we lost.

All the same I have to wonder at my country's obssession with football. I mean our cricket team loses to someone and no one cares!

Our football team loses and what's the main item on channel three's news? They've had an ex-referee disecting the match *from every angle* and he has concluded that the disallowed goal should have counted.

WE LOST! GET OVER IT! WHINING CHANGES NOTHING!

p.s.According to Mr. President of the USA the french have no word for entrepreneur. How sad for them.

Delurking...

[lupiane.livejournal.com]

I wanted to post a coment today anyway, but I was expecting to gloat over the French team's victory... I can't believe we lost to the Greeks!! Sob! Time for a change in the team obviously, our 1998 World Champions/ 2000 European champions can no longer keep up. I too say: For Shame!
Oh well, at least it wasn't as horrible as the 2002 World Cup...

As for the Shrub's shrewd comment, what language does he think entrepreneur is in? Duh.

Re: Delurking...

[huinesoron.livejournal.com]

I'm sure he thinks he invented it all by his lonesome.

[Wanders off to take bets on how long before His Lordship claims to be the founder of the United States]

Re: Delurking...

[misscam.livejournal.com]

Indeed. The French team was pitiful. Not that Greece was bad by any strecth - they did beat Portugal and played 1-1 with Spain- but the French team looked like they were all about to retire and didn't want to hurt their fragile bones. Pfft.

Shrewd Shrub. Hee.

[misscam.livejournal.com]

It's because England likes to think of itself as the birthplace of football. Also, England don't suck as badly in football as it does in certain other sports - such as cricket.

*tosses a football at the Shrub*